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View Full Version : Taking Away A crazy fathers Rights


KDouglas87
Sep 19, 2009, 12:59 PM
I've seen on the Forum a couple of question about taking away a fathers rights,but nothing like mine so far.
I'm currently married to the military have been for the past year and a half and living in California. I had a child with my ex-boyfriend which the child was conceived in Nevada of 2007(if it helps). While I was pregnant he had abused me,broken into my apartment,and harassed me on several occasions. I've had restraining orders against him and even had him thrown in Jail:eek:. What I would like to know is if I can get his rights taken away:confused:. He has no job and is staying in a half way house since he's gotten out of Jail(which had nothing to do with me) He's pretty much crazy in my eyes,and has big time issues going on in his head! Snaps really easy and gets violent.
I allowed him to see the baby once when he was 6 months old for about 20 minutes with his sister there to keep the peace(I did it for his mother,not because I wanted to.) There's no father listed on the birth certificate and there's no child support order,because, I don't want nor need his money even if he was to ever get a job. I'm in contact with him through Myspace(he says he wants to be in his life but,he has no means to even take care of a child let alone support one.) I also don't allow him to see the child because I don't trust him at all! My husband wants to adopt my son, is there anyway that I can get the biological fathers rights taken away? He hasn't done anything for the child since before and after he was born,besides cause drama.My son is now 16 months old.I don't want him around me or my son for safety reasons. PLUS... Feb-April of next year my husband and I are transferring to Europe so I know then he won't ever be able to see him,but my husband and I would love for my husband to adopt my son is there any legal advice someone can give me? Thanks a bunch! :)

stinawords
Sep 19, 2009, 01:17 PM
What you are wanting to know about is adoption not just having the bio father's rights taken away. You need to get an attorney (they are required for adoptions). It dosen't matter where the child was conceived it matters where they were born and live. Your attorney will inform you of everything you will need to do to prepare for court. I know you were probably looking for more than just get a lawyer but they are required for all adoptions and that is your goal.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 19, 2009, 01:22 PM
Most likely no, unless the bio father is willing to sign over his rights, most likely you can get them restricted where the bio father will only get limited supervised visits ( not a family member but a professional supervision though the state)

And actually not asking for child support may hurt you, since why should he sign over his rights, he ain't paying nothing now. His paying and his rights to visit are two different things.

At this point, if he is not on the birth certificate and not been to court and proved he is the father, he has no right but to file for rights. But sorry adoption most likely ( always a chance of course_ won't happen as long as bio father wants relationship with child

KDouglas87
Sep 19, 2009, 02:38 PM
I've looked into JAG,there's nothing they can do for me regarding these kind of cases,and right now an attorney is out of the question with how financially strapped we are and my husbands baby mama taking 655 in child support from us a month. I don't want my ex to have an visitations with my son,not even supervised.That's why I haven't opened a child support case,or put him on the birth certificate,which then would give him rights. I don't expect him to take me to court because he doesn't have the means to anyway. It's just hard to figure out what I can do for adoption without having to go to court or get an attorney which then gives him rights and supervised visits,because he won't sign. I know he won't... IDK... it's just frustrating. So am I better off just not dealing with it. Leave the birth certificate as is for no father... and not even dealing with the EX??

KDouglas87
Sep 19, 2009, 02:45 PM
And about my son
Conceived in Nevada... Born in Nebraska, and now lives in California...
I've looked into child support but because I live in California and my son was conceived in Nevada,California has to go through Nevada to get legal clearance because that's were the BF lives and since he's never lived in California with my son,or worked in California everything is based off Nevada... it's really confusing and very irritating how things work,based on where was the child conceived, where was he born... where does he live now?? All factors have parts in trying to open up certain cases and what states I have to go through. Very frustrating to me. I thank you for your comments and listening.

ScottGem
Sep 19, 2009, 03:06 PM
Not sure why you would think your situation wasn't listed, unless you didn't look very far.

There are loads of questions that ask how to terminate a father's rights. The reasons given vary widely and include abuse, deadbeats, etc.

The thing about your situation is that father is not on the birth certificate. This means he currently has no rights. However, he can. Potentially, get rights by going to court for custody/visitation. If he does, you will then have to prove he's a danger to the child to block him getting some level of custody/visitation.

If you go for an adoption, the court will require that you get the bio father to relinquish his rights or prove that those rights should be terminated. In which case you have the same issue.

So, my advice is to shop around for an attorney. Get a sense of what an adoption will cost you and start saving up.

JudyKayTee
Sep 19, 2009, 03:29 PM
Did you know he was crazy when you conceived a child with him?

Fr_Chuck
Sep 19, 2009, 05:16 PM
Next no, if there has never been any court action, and no rulig on this, you don't have to go back to the original state, you can file in the state you live, as soon as you estabish residence.

Sonds like you are telling them too much or not filing right if they have to go back to the other state

cdad
Sep 19, 2009, 06:18 PM
And about my son
Conceived in Nevada...Born in Nebraska, and now lives in California...
I've looked into child support but because I live in California and my son was conceived in Nevada,California has to go through Nevada to get legal clearance because that's were the BF lives and since he's never lived in California with my son,or worked in California everything is based off of Nevada...it's really confusing and very irritating how things work,based on where was the child conceived, where was he born.... where does he live now??? All factors have parts in trying to open up certain cases and what states I have to go through. Very frustrating to me. I thank you for your comments and listening.

How long have you lived in California ?
Because what your saying makes no sense.

KDouglas87
Sep 20, 2009, 11:58 AM
Adoption costs $700.00 and takes from 6-12 months to complete. I've looked into it. Attorney's cost more. I've been living in California since October 2008. Child support is the one that told me that they would have to go through Nevada because that's where the child was conceived and that's where the father lives. Since he's never lived or worked in Cali, they can't go through California without having the OK by Nevada. No I didn't know he was crazy when we hooked up. He's really good at Manipulation and putting up a front like he's a good guy. We were together 3 months and the last month in a half is when He started to act out and that's when I ended up pregnant and left him.He then tried to get back with me. I have all the restraining orders against him and the paper work when he was sent to jail for assault against me during my pregnancy. I'm just wondering because I'm married now and married to the military that maybe there's something that can help me out in this situation. But all I keep getting is Attorney,Attorney,Attorney! I'm really stubborn and if the result is an Attorney... then I'd rather just not deal with it at all.

cdad
Sep 20, 2009, 01:24 PM
Adoption costs $700.00 and takes from 6-12 months to complete. I've looked into it. Attorney's cost more. I've been living in California since October 2008. Child support is the one that told me that they would have to go through Nevada because that's where the child was conceived and that's where the father lives. Since he's never lived or worked in Cali, they can't go through California without having the OK by Nevada. No I didn't know he was crazy when we hooked up. He's really good at Manipulation and putting up a front like he's a good guy. We were together 3 months and the last month in a half is when He started to act out and that's when I ended up prego and left him.He then tried to get back with me. I have all the restraining orders against him and the paper work when he was sent to jail for assault against me during my pregnancy. I'm just wondering because I'm married now and married to the military that maybe there's something that can help me out in this situation. But all I keep getting is Attorney,Attorney,Attorney! I'm really stubborn and if the result is an Attorney...then I'd rather just not deal with it at all.

They told you wrong at the child support office unless there is already a support order. You have lived long enough to file in California if there hasn't been a previous order. Also burying your head in the sand and doing nothing is going to leave you with a choice. Follow hubby out of the country or give up the child. Your going to need the fathers permission to get a passport. So find a lawyer and do this right and attempt to have your husband adopt.

stinawords
Sep 20, 2009, 01:40 PM
Calif is right. You can shop around for an attorney to find one that is closer to your price range and might take payments.