My mother has lied to me for 21 years about who my father is. I thought one man was my father and I find some birth certificates and she told me someone else was my father. Then I send him an invitation to my wedding and he is not my father. I go to my mother and tell her to tell me the trueth and all she says is that she knows he's go an older daughter and that he was so high, his weight and eye color. I know she's lying to me. I really need to know who my father is. What can I do to find him if I don't know his name.

Unfortunately your mother would be the only one to tell you. Unless of course your mother has a close friend that you know of that may know this secret man.

Try asking your grandparent, or relatives she was close to, even find out who her old friends were at the time.

I'm sorry your going through this.

Another thing you can do is to go to counseling with your mother- they may be a "good" reason why she is lying to you about your biological father.

Sarah