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scrowe93005
Sep 18, 2009, 08:12 PM
Okay so I go out with this guy and I don't really like him, but there's this guy that I have a past with... I have way more fun around him and stuff and I AM in love with him but I don't want to hurt my bf's feelings by dumping him, but I don't want to be with him... Name's Stephanie, by the way.. HELP!!

jmjoseph
Sep 18, 2009, 08:22 PM
Hi Stephanie, If you don't love this guy, then don't waste both of yours time. Do what makes you happy, but be easy on the guy. He'll get over it. That's the best part of being young, resilience. Go enjoy your life. You sound very sweet, as most wouldn't have given it a second thought. Good luck to you.

N0help4u
Sep 18, 2009, 08:25 PM
Also it may be best if you break up and then take some time for yourself rather than jumping back into anything with the other guy right away.
That way there may be less hard feelings and time for everyone to think things through etc...

scrowe93005
Sep 18, 2009, 08:40 PM
Yeah.. Idk how to break up with him though, that's the problem... I don't want to hurt him.. Everyone else is like 'Oh you don't like him, why do you even care about hurting him?' That's not the point.. I'm not heartless, like some people...

roxypox
Sep 20, 2009, 12:15 PM
First of I want to say that to stay in a relationship with someone when you don't want to be with them is all-around-bad. For you and for him.

Secondly, if other people are aware of the way you feel and someone lets it slip that you don't want to be with him, but you are anyway... it will most likely hurt even more...

I'm sorry to say, but speaking from a realistic point of view, if he wants to be with you and you break up with him... he'll be hurt either way. You can't really avoid that.

Seeing as you don't really want to be in this relationship, then this break up will happen sooner or later: Make it sooner, rather then later.

As for how to break up with him: you need to have a talk with him, and you need to be honest: you don't wish to stay in this relationship. Personally I don't think that there is any need to tell him about your feelings for the other guy or how he is more fun etc... this break up is about your relations to him.

As for the other guy: maybe it is a good idea for you to take some time for you and to not jump into a new relationship right away...

I wish
Sep 20, 2009, 01:02 PM
If you don't like him anymore and still dragging him along, then you're unconsciously hurting him anyway, because you can't drag this on forever, you will eventually have to tell him that you don't feel the same way anymore. You're just being selfish because you don't want to feel guilty. Do him a favor and stop leading him on. Make it a clean break.

As for the new guy, you shouldn't even be considering him. After you break up, you need some recovery time before you jump into another relationship, otherwise this new guy is just a rebound.