Well, its all very confusing. It started one fine night on a gchat. I was drunk. Suddenly I was pinged by a very old friend of mine. Actually not friend, lets just say that there was always some sparks between us. But when he was free , I was in relations and vice versa.
Its like he kept coming in my life always out of the blue. This time it was after 7 yrs .
That night when I was drunk .I was misrable, death has taken away a person very very close to my heart, well my dad and on top of it I am forced to live alone in a foreign country to finish up my project. I was not able to concentrate on my work. My boss acted as an . So I got drunk to screw it all and when I was high , after 7 goddanmed yrs this fellow sends me message.
I decided to chat with him, he was the same as always, a very good guy. The way I was mixing my spelleings he guessed I am drunk. He told me that I was the most gorgeous person he had seen . He praised my smile. HE said he liked my goofiness when I am drunk.
He said he would love to see me drunk and love to hear my voice like that. When I said I will not do the same mistake twice. He said he would bribe the GOD for that.
Well after that night we chated again each time this flirty. He also said that I was very pretty and fun but he did not aproached because he did not want me to get hurt. Because he had family constrains.
Whenever I felt sad he appears out of nowhere online and we talked.
I gave him my phone no. we exchanged SMS. He cannot sms much because its costly and his financial condition is very bad.
I kept calling him and talking to him. He said he is ashamed ,because he should be the one to call me.
He lives alone, he doesn't have many friends. He is sort of loner and very intellectual.But he is bundles of troubles.
One night when I called I ended up telling him all my troubles which I never told to anyone else. I cried . I have always been a strong person but I just lost control. He also ended up telling me his secrets and troubles, his financila troubles and his girlfriend problems. As far as I know him and myself we don't generally have sob sessions easily.
Everything was going OK, and suddenly his deadline to pay loan came close. And he became a bit distant. But he once in a while reassures me that he will be back. Asks me to hang on. I keep calling him, sometimes he picks up and sometimes not. I also do not know what to tell him, how to make him feel comfertable.
HE tried to arrange cash but he could not.He ended up sick and with high fever. He was hospitalized. He is stressed and in a very bad shape. And alone. The stupid Girl friend has also left him for career.
As for me I keep thinking about him day and night. Its so disturbing to be in a position where you cannot help. I don't even know how to comfort him. I always call him to check up on him and then put down the phone because I don't know what else to say. Some times I also feel that am I being clingy by calling him again and again.
Its disturbing me and my work. I want to get rid of this feeling. I need to finish my work and go back to my country. What is happening here? I hope I am not falling for him. This is the last thing I want. I donot want to end up in some stupid onesided love affair. Besides I have my own commitments. Hw should I can be back to normal again?

Autmn,only you can say if you have feelings for this guy or not.Having said that,I also feel you both are in a stage of your life where both are either lonely or sad and in need of a good shoulder to cry on and share your pain with.You both are providing each other that much required comfort and assurance.

These are the times also when this kind of emotional dependence can mislead people into perceiving things.Has this guy expressed any desire to start a relationship with you?To me,it looks like he's got enough on his plate to handle already.

I would suggest,take your steps carefully and patiently.Otherwise you might end up scaring him and pushing him away.Even you need to figure out what you want.So,just continue being good friends and continue giving each other the support you have been giving,but don't start expecting and pushing.Only time will tell,what's in store for you both.

Thanks dear
For reading such a long post of mine, I think you are right. I, at this moment do not want to be in comittment. But in my previous chat or talk sessions he made me feel so good. I mean I was not even encourageing him. He also kept telling me that he drifted away because of nothing from my end.
The thing is I keep thinking about him, his troubles. I always want to call him and make sure he is OK. But the call is always frm my side and fair enough because he cannot call. Its expensive.
It might sound silly, but I tried not to call him for a week . And I did not. I told him few days earlier, I am going for a meeting out of city. He kept asking me when am I going , whenever I called or chatted. Was it because he want me not to call ? Once he was very low and then he asked me when am I going and when will I b back. After I came bk I called him. He was out of the hospital. But his fever was picking up again. I told him to tk care. He was in bad shape. I put the phone down. Don't know what to say . And its been two days I did not call him and he did not chated online. Should I call him?
I keep thinking about him when I am alone or at work or with friends. What should I do? I have a lot of things on my head as such...

That's precisely my point.Dont read too much into his actions and words.He's in a weak mental state right now and whatever he says or does now may not go down well with you.

If you don't want a commitment and are sure of it,why are you getting so worked up with what he's saying or doing?First figure out your own feelings and then take a step.Meanwhile,I would suggest,just take it easy,be natural and don't get too dramatic about things.Let things flow naturally while you work on understanding your own emotions better.

Well in that case please suggest me if I should keep calling him to know about his well being and give him emotinal support. He is really sick. Will it be selfish not to call him?
Also I am the one who calls and he chats ,because of finances disarray.

You sound like a caring person who needs a friend as does he. I can understand your concern, but warn you about seeing more into this friendship than is realistic. I think you both have needs, but are to isolated, so its options not more false hope for the quick fix to have someone in a time of need. I think expanding your horizons, and bring some good things into your life would help you greatly, and suggesting he do the same would make you both better and bring you both to a better place.

Its telling he doesn't reach out to you for anything other than friendship though, and you would do well to keep it in that perspective, and not expect more from this.

You both need balance, just to keep it real, as despite your caring, reaching out to him too much will distract you from other outlets, that need to be explored.

Please give yourself a chance to heal, and evaluate your circumstances in an honest, and realistic way, to better serve yourself, so you can share some optimism, and happiness, with your FRIEND. That's what friends are for.

You both sound lonely and needy to me, and I think that's where my concern lies. It's not a healthy connection that you have with this guy because your focus is on each others problems.

I suspect you are mis-interpreting his need for you with something else and that you may need to deal with your insecurity, drinking and loneliness in some other way.

If he's sick and needing reassurance, you should contact him. As any friend would.

I would also be seeking counseling so that you can make sense of what is happening inside your head.

You need clarity not confusion. Start making sensible moves to sort it out.

If you'r looking for advise on should I call him or not,the only reason I see to NOT call him is the fact that you say it is expensive so if that is putting you in a strain don't call