:( this is how I feel after the emotional rollercoaster I just decided to stop riding long enough to ask my question. Here's the background... prepare yourself for a long one.. sorry.
When I started dating my boyfriend, I had to drop the "others" I talked to and let them all know about my relationship. Very easy for me to do... done. Since we've been together some of those "others" have called or text me while I'm with my sweetie. He gets angry, asks tons of questions and harps on the situation for an extended period... not all in the same day either.
3 years ago... yes 3, I dated (slept with) a guy I used to go to high school with. His cousin and I are friends and he got in contact with me through her. We caught up.. told him about my excitement due to my new relationship and he also told me about his own, which happened to produce a daughter. After all of the kudos for our accomplishments he asked if I'd visit his new place. My immediate answer was and remained 'no thank you'. The VERY NEXT DAY, I'm with my boyfriend, gazing at the stars, a lovely affair when a text breaks up the mood. Its from the "old friend" saying, "when are you gonna visit?" GREAT! My sweetie sees this and is understandably concerned... he asks if I'm sleeping with him, I tell him of course not. He believes me (for now). I say 'for now' because I also told him that we did have a sexual relationship but not when this situation 1st arose. I waited until the following occurred to devulge that one... ugh! So smart of me huh?
Another weekend, my boyfriend and I are in a hotel room (which is something we do from time to time) and I get a phone call. Its from my friend the trucker, who is also in a relationship and knows about mine as well. My boyfriend questions me yet again and I tell him that we went to school with each other VERY briefly (like a matter of 2-3 weeks, in 9th grade) and he recently caught up with me via Yahoo messenger... due to the fact that he is friends with my brother and some others. We exchanged #'s again (meaning I had it before I knew my boyfriend but discarded it after our relationship developed).
I even called this trucker friend to tell him how upset my boyfriend was over these phonecalls. My boyfriend even went as far as calling and texting him hisself, because he copied the # out of my cell. Mm mmm mm (excuse me while I shake my head in disapproval yet again). My trucker friend confirmed my story and even mentioned that he had a great woman on his hands that he should treasure, he had nothing to worry about. So... I again erased another # out of my phone... for his sake. (boyfriends')
We argued and he even told me he wanted to part ways... then we reminded each other of our feelings for each other and I also told him that I'm 100% faithful and would do anything to prove that to him. We stayed together. He even sent me a text the next day, apologizing and saying he loved me, which was followed up with a reassuring phone call. Awww... how sweet... until tonight when he brings it back up... both incidents. He even suggested that these men were calling and texting to confirm PLANNED 'hook-ups'! Lol! WTH? He hung up on me and when I called back said he didn't feel like talking... so I left it alone and said goodbye. My question is: should I do what I feel is the right thing in this situation... give him time to calm down and assess his feelings? Not call him or text? And if he happens to reach out... should I ignore him?
I'm in love with this man and I'm sure he feels the same for me and this is why he is so bothered by other men contacting me. I don't want to break-up but I am also tired of being accused of cheating every time someone calls. It's not my fault that these people like me, so to speak. I am proud to be in a relationship and everyone that I know... knows that for certain... I'm not shy about it. I also have to let men who approach me or ask for my number know that... I'm taken :D
I just wish my boyfriend undestood that too. Is there a way I can show him? Or should I think about leaving this relationship due to his lack of trust? Help me... I'm tired of crying and worrying about this. I just want my man... thx for reading...

As far as the information you have given you haven't really given him any reason to doubt what your telling him. Your not the problem he is , he seems to have some insecurity issues and I'd just tell him straight out he either trusts you or you'll have to rethink being with him.

You can't go through life not trusting , it's one of the most important things in any relationship , so if he has insecurities or self esteem issues it's up to him to fix them.

Are there any other issues he has problems with?

Does he like you to wear certain clothes, or not to wear makekup? Does he seem jealous when you are with your girlfriends? Does he demand to know what you did during the day when he wasn't with you, and question you about any missing time. Is he clingy, and/or over protective of you. Does he make you uncomfortable in social situations. Do you find he is very needy.

With how you describe the jealousy I'd be surprised if he didn't show other behaviour characteristics as well. Jealousy is insecurity, and insecurity leads to trust issues, and trust issues lead to control issues.

He is way out of line making that phone call to your friend. And he is unfair in throwing the two friends in your face, somehow as 'proof' that you can't be trusted.

Insecurity is crippling to relationships. Eventually the recipient will get weary of being subjected to defending herself against situations made only in the head of the boyfriend.

If he cannot see, or admit that he has a problem, I don't see how this can get better. It will probably only get worse.

Do you think he'd go to couples counselling?

Comments on this post
someone27 agrees: thank you! i didn't think i was at fault...should i give him some time before giving him such an ultimatum? thanks again!...

I think that's up to you ie: how long can you put up with his behaviour. Don't let it linger though and give him the chance to use the time as an excuse to keep it going longer. You'll get more people come along with their views so I hope they all help you to make the right decision for YOU.

Good Luck and keep us posted on your progress.

Jake2008;
Are there any other issues he has problems with?

Surprisingly, No. He even comments on sexy outfits I wear on our nights out; says I'm sexy and he likes them. He does call or text me everyday, but I do the same. We only get to see each other on the weekends since we both work. And I avoid going out with my friends as much because they are single and looking... liquor doesn't help my decision-making. Let alone anyone else's... lol. I do have time with my friends without him bothering me though.
He just brings up things that have occurred often and everyone that I HAD in my contacts... I knew before we ever met! So... I wouldn't say he's possessive... mostly because I haven't even met his family or friends yet (which I also posted on) so it's not like he has people WATCHING me while he's busy... Our relationship is so new! Months old! I just don't know what more I can do? Thank you so much for your comment, as well as everyone else... thank you.

Only months old and he's behaving like a jealous husband already.

What a pain in the butt.

I'd be letting him stew in his own juice - don't take any responsibility for his insecure behavior and let him know that it's his problem not yours. If he threatens to break up, tell him that's fine with you.

The more you feed this sort of behavior by pandering to it, the worse it will get. Nip it in the bud now. Don't put up with it - if he can't stand you having male friends then that's his issue.

Don't change your life for him - imagine what he will be like years from now. It could be really scary.

UPDATE!

When I last spoke to my boyfriend, he said he didn't feel like talking so I left it at that. We didn't talk or text at all on Tuesday (he hung up Monday).

So after I hard night of tears and worry, I called him Wednesday night... he didn't answer so I left a voicemail asked him to call me. Said I deserved to know what was going on.
He text me instead saying he was breaking-up with me! I asked that he call me and he sends a text saying, " No Call Ben, Mike or Brian for all I care, I think you have enough 'FRIENDS'! I instantly called him and he finally answered. We argued for quite a while but I did remember to put his insecurities back on him...told him to "grow-up" and that he was being ridiculous; throwing the situation out of preportion. I also reminded him of my age and my ability to voice my opinion when I'm unhappy.
Long 'arguement' short. We're still together. I saw him last night and he laid with me, all the while apologizing for the way he acted, hurting my feelings, and not trusting me. He said the reason behind his behavior was his love for me! He told me that he's in love with me and was afraid of losing me. AWW! I cried like a baby... lol. He said that it would have been best to just tell me what was going on in his head than act the way he did... Thank you so much for all of your help! I used a statement from almost every answer that was posted!. lol. Seriously, Thank You for your help! My relationship is back on track and I've learned how to use my (lady) balls again in the confrontation department! Lol... thx again everyone!

I'm very proud of you for having lady balls lol You go girl!

While this is very sweet that he seems to have come around a bit, and not to be a party pooper here, just be careful. Jealousy has ruined many good relationships.

All the best of luck to you.

Hmmmm. Well, it's OK for the time being.

Don't let his 'love' for you be an excuse for bad behavior.

It's an oldie but a goodie that one!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/why-havent-met-his-damn-parents-yet-392866.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/going-downtown-wink-wink-396397.html



So... my boyfriend and I have been together for mere months


How about turning your phone off, when your with your boyfriend. The rest time and communicating can take care of.