View Full Version : Obedience
confusedFather
Sep 13, 2009, 07:36 AM
My 6 year old will not listen at all. I am a 42 year old Father, and in all my years of being around children I have never meet a child that will not listen at all! Everything I ask of him is contested and argued over, from brushing his teeth to picking up his toys. I've tried time outs, taking away toys, idle threats, nothing works. He is constantly trying to get me in trouble with my wife " Dada won't let me play my games" or Dada yelled at me " which in turn my wife yells at me in front of him. I think he likes to see my wife and I argue and fight about him. I am at my wits end and am ready to just go my own way. Any suggestions ? He just started kindergarten and seems to like it . I don't want to leave my family but I am not respected by my wife or son. I feel bad for him because he is the only child, and his mother works strange hours and when she is at home with him she just wants to be left alone and rest, she doesn't want to spend anytime with him at all. I have been unemployed since November of '08 and currently enrolled in school (going for a degree in web development and Interactive media) So I spend as much time as I can with him, but he seems to want more. I'm really at the end of my rope, any suggestions?
stinawords
Sep 13, 2009, 07:54 AM
You may want to post in the parenting section because this is really more of an advice question rather than a legal question. That being said, have you tried talking to your wife about this when he is asleep or out of hering distance? Kids are amazing little creatures (yes I said creatures) they require a lot of time and energy. Maybe next time you want him to do something do it with him. Have him bring some of his school work in while you are doing your work so you are doing it together little things like that can make a huge difference. But one of the biggest things is that you and your wife need to be on the same page so talk to her (while he is not around).
confusedFather
Sep 13, 2009, 09:00 AM
My 6 year old will not listen at all. I am a 42 year old Father, and in all my years of being around children I have never meet a child that will not listen at all! Everything I ask of him is contested and argued over, from brushing his teeth to picking up his toys. I've tried time outs, taking away toys, idle threats, nothing works. He is constantly trying to get me in trouble with my wife " Dada won't let me play my games" or Dada yelled at me " which in turn my wife yells at me in front of him. I think he likes to see my wife and I argue and fight about him. I am at my wits end and am ready to just go my own way. Any suggestions ? He just started kindergarten and seems to like it . I don't want to leave my family but I am not respected by my wife or son. I feel bad for him because he is the only child, and his mother works strange hours and when she is at home with him she just wants to be left alone and rest, she doesn't want to spend anytime with him at all. I have been unemployed since November of '08 and currently enrolled in school (going for a degree in web development and Interactive media) So I spend as much time as I can with him, but he seems to want more. I'm really at the end of my rope, any suggestions?
zippit
Sep 13, 2009, 09:05 AM
The proublem is not with you and your son its with you and your wife
Have you expressed your concerns with her?
I would suggest this be a relationship thread,and concentrate on that.
confusedFather
Sep 13, 2009, 09:12 AM
Yes my wife and I do not see I to I. I will try to get marriage counseling to try and make this work, for our sons sake. It seems I can never do enough and nothing is ever good enough for this person. She is defiantly not the person I married 9 years ago
justcurious55
Sep 13, 2009, 09:19 AM
In addition to marriage counseling, I would suggest a parenting class together. It might help you learn new techniques as well as help you and your wife get on the same page. But I agree, the issue is more between you and you wife. Your son is going to push to see how much he can get away with and it takes both of you to set and enforce boundaries. It won't work if every time you say one thing he knows he can run to your wife and have her say the opposite
zippit
Sep 13, 2009, 09:22 AM
You also have the issue of unemployment
Your rolls have changed and your spending more time at home now ,there are a lot of books you can get for your situation,even children's books that you can sit and read to him I suggest a trip to the library with your son.
mhansen73
Sep 13, 2009, 09:54 AM
Marriage counselling for you and your wife to learn about communication and perhaps deal with some of the issues that has caused your and your wife's behaviours to change since you married 9 years ago.
Is your son well behaved for your wife? That will tell you a lot as to whether he has a behavioural issue, or if it's really an extension of your marital problems. For your son's sake, try to work your marriage out - with an open heart and an open mind on BOTH sides, you guys can work through this and be happily married once again. :)
Good luck!
cdad
Sep 13, 2009, 12:57 PM
You need to have a long sit down with your wife over this. You need to go out and hash this thing out or have your son spend the night at a friends and settle this. I agree with Stina.. the worst thing you can do to a child is let them play you. If your both not on the same page then the child will know no boundries.
J_9
Sep 13, 2009, 01:03 PM
<moved from Family Law to Parenting>
jenniepepsi
Sep 17, 2009, 07:25 PM
I'm sorry hon, I have no advice other than I am going through the same with my 6 year old.
Welcome to the lovely age of not quite little anymore , but not quite big yet.