My 20 year daughter lives at home is attending a JC taking only 8 units works partime at an average 20 hours per week making minimum wage. Her work shift ends 10:00pm to 11:00pm. She drives over 30 miles to school that begins 8:30am. She has a boyfriend who is 22 years old works full time and also lives at home. His work shift ends 10:30pm.
She started spending the night at her boyfriends house coming home to only shower, get ready for school/work and do her laundry. (His parents have no problem with this sleeping arrangement)I communicated to her that I and her dad (we are divorced) find this inappropriate and disrespectful. She can visit but need to come home. I called his mother and expressed my concerns and dissapprovement. They told my daughter she could not stay overnight anymore. My daughter told me I have ruined her life, and her boyfriend is not talking her. (Some boyfriend). I told her since she does not like my rules, move out to her dad's, she did and less than a week later, she asked to come back. I told her yes, but house rules are the same. She is back, again spending the night at boyfriends, says she is 20 years old, can do what she wants and I am not letting her grow up and if she can't stay with her boyfriend at his parent's house than there is no use having a relationship... he is giving her an ultimatum and she is giving me one. Let me add that this set up is interefering with school. She can't get herself up in time and is too tired to do homework or anything else during the day. No one at the boyfriend's house including himself seems to care about that. I need advise on what to do and what to communicate. She is not financially ready to move out on her own.

Since she is 20 she can move out. She can move to his place. She's an adult now and should be responsible for her own school, auto insurance etc.

If she can't live by the rules of your house, she needs to get her own place where she can set her own rules.

This is a continued version to Adult Child At Home. Am I not doing the right thing by providing house rules to a 20 year old, i.e. come home at night?

If any person adult or not is going to live at my house, there are rules, one would be they pay rent unless they are in school full time. The second they don't have anyone in my home without my knowledge. Beyond that you have the right to set rules you want.

She does have the right to live at boyfriends if she wants to, but if you don't approve, you merely ask her to move there, and not live atyour home.

What was so bad about "dads"