So, I haven't lived at home for over a year now.
Recently, I moved into a house with my boyfriend and a few friends.
About a month before we moved out of our apartment, my mom called and said that she would help us move. She would bring boxes, a moving truck and her vaccuum. I said that sounded great and really appreciated her offer.
Then, about a week before we moved, she calls me again and says she's looking up moving truck rentals. (It's about 250 miles or so from her house to ours), and told me that she would put the vehicle on her credit card, but that we would have to re-emburse her for gas, and the truck rental. Total, it came out to about $150.
I talked it over with my boyfriend, and we were really tight on money, so I politely declined and explained our situation to her. I told her that I greatly appreciated her offer, but that we could just not affored the $150.
So, we got all of our things packed and moved into the house.
My mother then proceeds to call me and demand the security deposit from our previous apartment.(Of the $500 we paid, half is refundable) Now, I will admit that she did pay the security deposit, but for her to call and demand it is just plain rude. My boyfriend I could really use that money.. for groceries, gas and books for school. I told her fine, I'll send it to her, but I wouldn't pay her for anything else.
I haven't spoken two her in two weeks, and when she did call me, it was to ask about the deposit money, and then got very short with me and said she needed to finish cleaning the house.
She won't call or text or even email. I don't understand why she's ignoring me. I understand that I may have been a little rude when I told her about the deposit money, but she was so demanding and greedy, that I couldn't take it.
I'm 21 years old, and I don't need my mom to hold my hand.
I feel bad that I told her we didn't need her help moving, but I couldn't afford the $150.
I've tried talking to her... calling her and trying to work things out, but she just gets short with me and makes up excuses why she has to hang up.
I'm so frustrated. Should I just stop trying to talk to her altogether?
Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks so much!

She said she would 'help' you move, she didn'd say that she would pay for it.

Whatever you got back from the depost on your apartment, belongs to her the moment it was returned to you! That is not your money.

She was gratious to wait until you moved out of the apartment. She should not have had to wait and ask for it. In fact, I would have had a payment plan in place for this money to be paid back a lot sooner than the day you move out.

That money was not intended as a moving out gift. If you think you and your boyfriend are somehow entitled to it, you are just wrong.

If your mother is demanding and greedy, what does that make you.

And with her having faith in you returning the deposit money is either demanding and/or greedy, you still have a lot to do to grow up in my opinion.

If you do spend that money on things you need, remember it is not yours to spend, and I would hope that is enough of a reason to return it.

It sounds to me like she had her feelings hurt by you turning down her offer to help. I know money was tight, but maybe she took it the wrong way. The $500 deposit was hers to reclaim, but because her feelings were hurt, she came across as short.

What I would do is call her just to tell her that you love her, and that you hope things can get back to normal soon. Keep it short, and you'll plant a seed in her head that should take root.

Our relationships with our parents sometimes test our patience and even our sanity, but we need to keep the love-line open.

I'm 47, and my mother still drives me crazy sometimes.

I know she means well, but man she can treat me like a kid without even knowing it.

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe they just can't turn loose of their little babies, and let them walk on their own.

Either way, they are our mothers, and we should always treat them with love and dignity.

No matter how wrong they are.

Thank you both for you postings!
And Jake2008, I have every intention of giving her the money back. I know it's hers. But the way she came across... demanding it... was really hurtful. I never asked her to pay for any of the things she did. But I am so grateful for everything she and my dad have done.

Thank you both so much for your responses!
God Bless you both.

Have you shown her any appreciation? Your first post didn't show any sign of appreciation or gratefulness? I wonder if that's what it seems like to her? Making sure that she realizes that you're grateful might also help the relationship.

Justcurious55... I definitely show a lot of appreciation. Every time I'm on the phone with her, I constantly tell her how much I appreciate everything she's done for me.
But I'll try and take it up a notch. :)
Thank you so much for your response!