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View Full Version : She wants to be friend, but I want more.


Gravak
Sep 12, 2009, 05:35 PM
First post so first off, hi ^^

basically, about a week and a half ago I asked a girl out who comes into where I work to chat, her and her brother come in and will sit and chat for up to 5 hours every time they come in easily about pretty much anything and everything.

what followed I've tried to summarize a little below

few week back kate (a woman I work with) and me were talking about it, how I liked her and got on well with her - then kate and helen (another woman I work with :P) took it upon themselves to get me this girls number from her brother, which I thought was kind of weird, so when I got it I thought I'd ease into it, told her I'd left the dvd's in work for her and she could grab them when she was next in (as I was on holiday this week from work) she went in on the Tuesday, and kate let slip then continued to explain that I liked her, I asked her out for a drink that week without knowing this, she said "just as mates if thats ok?" then explained how she was enjoying being single after her break up with her ex a year back and wasn't looking for anything at the moment, then after texting one another for a couple of days she made me promise to her, I wasn't just being her friend 'expecting' something somewhere down the line, so I said I wasn't I liked her and wanted to be friend if she wanted it

does this mean that there is the possibility of something happening but its up to her? Or (due to the short time we've known one another) she doesn't know me enough to want to commit to anything in the off chance it fails - she only knows the 'work me' and wants to get to know the 'me me' (put stupidly :P)

we went out tonight as friends (me, my brother, her brother and her) for food and to see a movie, and had a good time

any input from you guys would be great :D

thanks in advance

I wish
Sep 12, 2009, 06:25 PM
There's always the possibility that she could see you as more down the line, but don't expect it from her. She made it clear that she only wants a friendship.

So if you can handle a friendship without expecting something more, then talk to her more. But don't set it as a goal to get her, otherwise you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Sweet_Guy23
Sep 13, 2009, 12:45 AM
There's no interest here buddy...

You're just in the friend zone.

Riot
Sep 13, 2009, 04:39 AM
Becarefull

I was lead down this same road expecting 'progess' too but it drained me over a 2 month period

redhed35
Sep 13, 2009, 05:01 AM
She really has been straight with you,you know where you stand.

Its your head that playing games with you,looking for more.

Don't expect any romance here,if things develop so be it,but,she also said,not to be her friend in the hopes something will happen at a late date.

Take her word for it.

amicon
Sep 13, 2009, 05:22 AM
Had to spread the rep but I agree with redhead-the girl s been very honest with you.

Gravak
Sep 13, 2009, 05:31 AM
Thanks for the advice guys :] much appreciated, helped quite a lot :D

Gravak
Oct 14, 2009, 10:32 AM
about a month and a half ago I posted about a problem with this girl I liked

basically, I asked her out and she wanted to be friends and told me not to 'expect' anything in the future, which I was perfectly fine with after I came to terms with it

we've been pretty good friends the past month and a half, always texting, going out places together etc. and its been great, obviously there are strands of the feelings that remain but nothing I'd act upon as I'm enjoying the time spent talking and doing things.

the only problem is, something occurred today which I thought was a bit 'off' to say the least...

I work in a bookmakers, taking bets all day behind a counter, and when its slow and they're around town her and her brother (who I'm good mates with also now) come in and talk with me mainly, and of course whoever I'm working with to some extent. We were talking for about 30minutes easily, and randomly (even my co-worker said it felt a bit weird even hearing it said as he knew I liked her) she said "You know Gav.....I love you.....as a friend" then smiled...

Am I completely tapped in the head and thinking the worst of it, or would you say it's a bit out of line?

Thanks in advance :]

I wish
Oct 14, 2009, 10:43 AM
Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.

You're putting too much emphasis on the "I love you" part. Need I remind you that she added the "as a friend" part to remind you that nothing more can happen. She just really likes her friendship with you. But you're right, she could be more sensitive towards your feelings seeing that she knows that you see her more than a friend.

Gravak
Oct 14, 2009, 10:45 AM
I probably didn't convey it enough - I know she just wants to be friends

It was the say she said it "Gav......i love you"

Then a longish pause, followed by "as friends..."

As if to get a reaction out of me

And sorry for the extra post :]

I wish
Oct 14, 2009, 10:50 AM
Don't let her mess with your mind like that.

Think about it this way, she already knows how you feel about her. If she wanted more, she would let you know. She doesn't need to test you to see what kind of reaction you would give her.

talaniman
Oct 15, 2009, 07:46 AM
What part of as a friend is it your confused about? Its you allowing your mind to play tricks on you. False hope and wanting more, will do that. Back off, and balance yourself with more friends, and activities you enjoy, as you're to invested in her. Your to available buddy.

Gravak
Oct 17, 2009, 04:52 PM
Had a talk with her about it, and a few other things the other night over a drink

We got talking about all sorts and it seems as though something is going to happen, we were both flirty and got to the point where we were holding hands

Hopefully it'll carry on and develop :D

paxe
Oct 17, 2009, 07:02 PM
Don't hope for everything, you just want to go out and meet some new people, this is how you meet someone.