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View Full Version : On a break but what's in store?


dreammer
Sep 12, 2009, 09:01 AM
So, I share a healthy relationship with my girlfriend for 7 months. We met in uni but separated during the summer hols when we went back to our own countries. We were very close while we were together and we are v much in love with each other.

Unfortunately, since she comes from a pretty traditional family, her parents do not think it's a good idea that she's dating. They are pretty much against the idea of her having a boyfriend. During this summer hols, we had quarrels over our mode and frequency of communication as we both had different expectations of a long dist relationship (albeit for 3-4mths).

I went over to her country to visit her but over there we had a huge argument again. This time, it was bad enough for her to suggest a break, a little distance between us so we can think things through carefulli. She said that I treat my frens better than I treat her, I take her for granted, I've nv looked at things from her perspective and have nv realli placed her in front of myself in the way I make decisions and do things. Frankly, I am kind of guilty of all that. She however said that she could haf easily broken up with me but she didn't because she still wants me back. She wants this distance for now so that I can come back a better guy for her.

And so, I've been reflecting. I've been trying to change myself and to evaluate the way I've been treating her. However, I am too afraid that this 1 month of distance might change the way she view me and this relationship. Pressure from her parents might also sway her. In a nutshell, I want to win her back but I don't know if she'll still want this relationship.

What do you think?

I wish
Sep 12, 2009, 09:40 AM
Your feelings for one another are very clear. Both of you want to try to make this relationship work. So the feelings are there. The only question is whether you guys are willing to commit and work hard.

But before you decide on how to proceed next, I suggest that you spend this time apart working on yourself. If she wants to break up with you, she will do it regardless of the distance apart. However, giving her space to figure things out is a good idea because everything is heated at the moment. So time apart will allow both of you to calm down and when you talk to each other again, both of you will feel more objective.

But again, I emphasize that you should spend this time working on yourself. Learn to approach things differently with her. Try to be more understanding and considerate of her situation. I'm sure she will do the same. But just worry about your end first.