Hello everyone,

I'm a 27 year old women who has been in a relationship for 9 years and we have been living together for 6. A couple of months ago we went through a hard patch and I decided to leave the house. We got back together 2 months after and have been together ever since, but this time I did not move back in. One of the problems that made me leave in the first place is his fear of commitment. When we first starting living together he proposed to me that was exsactly 6 years ago, since then he has been telling me every time I ask him when is the date he will tell me next year. So I'm extreamly confused why would he propose to me if he doesn't want to get married?
I think that one of the problems won't allow him to take the extra step is the fact that he got married at a young age he had just turned 18 and his marriage lasted 3 months because she was unfaithful, and so I ask myself what does that has to do with me? He tells me everyday is want to spend the rest of his life with me, but just won't take that extra step. This whole marriage this really means a lot to me, so much that I told him that I wouldn't go back to the house until he marrys me. Now I have to move because I was staying with my because and the lease exp and she is not going to renew it. So I'm left with the choice to move on and leave him behind? Or to go back to the house and just leave the marriage aside?
I need help because although it may be as simple as a "paper" to me it means that he loves me enough to take that extra step. Can someone please tell me what would you do if this was you??

There are 2 reasons a guy proposes: because he wants to get married and to shut his woman up because SHE wants to.

He clearly doesn't want to get married.

If he cannot provide you what you want, then he's not a good match for you.

Furthermore, it sounds like you have a very weak communication system with him. You've been together for 9 years and lived together for 6 years, yet you still have trouble being clear with one another.

I'm sure that if you continue to tell us your story, there will be more red flags. I'm guessing that you keep having hope and holding on. While he sees that you'll hang on nor matter what, why would he rush into a marriage? Because you're not going to leave him anyway. But threatening to leave him to force him into marriage isn't a good idea either.

I suggest that you let him know what you want. You've waited for him long enough. If he cannot provide what you want, then look elsewhere. You can't keep putting your life on hold because that will just make you suffer.

If YOU want to be married, then you should find someone else that feels the same way. He is stringing you along. It was right for you to not move back in with him. That way it will be easier to move on with your life withOUT him in it. Tell him you will see him NEXT YEAR. Maybe at the grocery store with your new man.

I think he loves you but is afraid of commitment. I agree with jmjoseph though when he says if YOU want to get married then you shoud find someone who does too. I guess you have to decide which you want more.

I don't think that you should move back in.

Ask yourself why you want to be married - is it just that you want to be married, or do you really want to be married to HIM?

If it's him that you want to be married to then let him know that he has to make a choice. After nine years he has to stop putting you off and be honest with you.

If he wants to 'spend the rest of his life with you', then what is he waiting for?

If he can't give you the answer you want, then you have your answer.