I have a short or something similar somewhere in the wiper control or steering column such that the wipers activate once when the steering wheel is turned. The problem is prevalent in hot weather and mostly non-existent in the winter. Anyone know where I should look? I hate to tear into the column without having some idea of what I should be looking for.

Disconnect the negative battery cable. Then, remove and service the multi-function switch that control the wipers. Carefully, take it apart, clean all contracts, and check continuity with a multimeter. Oil and dirt from your hands often causes problems. Check connections and wiring for any problems. Spray switch with WD-40. If the problem persists, after replacing the switch, I would replace the switch.