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View Full Version : My 18 year lives dangerously


cchimblo
Sep 9, 2009, 06:28 PM
I am very concerned with my beautiful daughter who has always been close to home and spent all her time with us (her parents). She would go out on weekends but would be home by 10:30, 11:00 or midnight depending on where she would go. She chose her friends wisely, and we liked all of them. Now she has turned 18 and it seems that immediately she has gone out of control, staying out all night, lying to us of her where abouts. She thinks nothing of walking dark streets alone at night by her self just to go look for these new friends of her's that she has chosen, they drink and smoke and possibly do drugs. When I confront her she tells me that it really is not my business and I can't do a damb thing about it because she is an adult. I just don't want her to be raped or even worse. She has been dressing very provocitive lately, and some maniac could just pull her in his car and kill her after he tortures her. She can't see this danger, what can I do to make her see the serious situation we have going on here.

sGt HarDKorE
Sep 9, 2009, 06:44 PM
She is an adult and there nothing you can physically do but try to educate her. Do you know anyone that has been raped or hurt why an attacker? If so, have them talk and have her try to educate her. She will most likely go out and do what she wants when she wants whether you talk to her so just give her tips such as: never traveling alone, tell someone where your going and who your going with, etc..

Jake2008
Sep 9, 2009, 10:59 PM
Regardless of her age, it's your house, and your rules. Curfew, chores, etc. Nobody gets a free ride.

If she wants to be treated like an adult, treat her like an adult.

Consider rent, utilities, cable, phone, internet etc. If you are providing her with these ammenities, as an adult, she has to pay for them.

If you give her money, stop. If you pay her cell phone, stop. Disconnect the internet.

Calmly present your case in response to how she has decided to live her life, and make no compromises.

If she doesn't follow the rules as an 18 year old adult, tell her to make arrangements to move out.

Don't let her walk all over you. If you can stick to your guns, she will learn, and hopefully realize that even with rules and expectations and consequences in your home, it is better than what is available with her new lifestyle.

mhansen73
Sep 13, 2009, 10:03 AM
When she leaves the house, call the police and get them to find her and bring her back home. Then get some counselling. Keep repeating this cycle until it WORKS! Somewhere along the way, you lost the connection you had with your daughter, and she is in serious trouble.

mhansen73
Sep 13, 2009, 10:05 AM
PS: If she won't come home, have her admitted for psychiatric evaluation in the local hospital. They can keep her for 3 days and help with some intense therapy.