I've been in this relationship for four years now. I'm 22 and he's 25 and we had a great relationships so far we had ups and downs but they were mostly because of his family but somehow recently I started to feel I don't recognize myself anymore. I don't know what I want or like anymore. I've become extremely jealous even though I don't recall any signs of jealousy. I spoke to my boyfriend about this I told him I need some space to think things through and he is very calm about this but the thing is he insist on waiting for me to find myself again but I don't want him to wait. I know I don't deserve this and I'm afraid that after some time I might change. I am putting us both in pain because we love each other very much but I don't want to continue this relationship because I'm not sure I'm not going to suffer again in future. I am not asking for space because I want to date other people or anything like this but I really need some ME time. I know my parents have their share in all of this because they've been very imposing. I was raised to always listen to what they say to me. So know I have a steady job I hate and I hold a university degree which I earned without even being 21 just to make my parents proud. I always dreamed of going to another country to study but I had to stay here because my parents wanted me to do so. And now I am staring to feel that I am doing things just to please my boyfriend. We are now just friends faze but this is not helping at all. I speak to him from time to time but it really hurts when I know he is suffering too. I know he still has hopes but I feel like I am completely wasted and depressed so I can't think straight. I'm not sure I will ever find what I'm looking for. I really need your help people. Has anything similar happened to anyone else! I started to think I'm losing my mind:S.

Its probably best at this point to put the relationship with your boyfriend on hold,you have a far more important relationship to work on... YOU.

You have your own dreams and wants and it seems for the past few years you have been running your life to what other people want.

You want to travel,I think travelling broadens the mind.

Why don't you do it?
What's stopping you?

Work will always be there,you have a degree,you will find work.

Where would you like to travel?

China,india,australia,timbukto... you can go.

Google some of the places you want to travel,immerse yourself in the fantasy,then make it a reality.

Find your passion in life,you sound as if your in a slump right now.

Make your dreams come true,boyfriends,marriage,kids can come later,take control of your life,your parents will get over it if you decide to travel,in fact,ask for their input as to where they suggest?

Get them on board.


Seize the day!!

You can't always live for other people. Life is about finding what makes you happy and living for YOU. Go do it, regardless of who understands. You owe it to yourself.

I think the jealousy issue was just a way of you telling yourself something is not right
It may help to have a very open and frank conversation with your boyfriend and let him know about YOUR wishes he may be stuborn and want to hold on and that would be understandable but in the end it will make you feel better about the moves your making like RED said there are plenty of opportunities for work well there are plenty for a boyfriend as well GOOD LUCK!

Do what you got to do to find yourself. If your boyfriend really cared about you, he would support you all the way.

If you loose him now, it means you would have lost him anyway had you stayed together because his feelings for you are that fragile.

I need some space to think things through and he is very calm about this but the thing is he insist on waiting for me to find myself again but I don't want him to wait.


I think you make your wishes plain to your boyfriend, and then cut the contact with him, so he has a chance to accept your wishes, deal with his feelings of loss, and heal.

That's the first step in cutting lose the past, and moving to your future.