I have been with my boyfriend for some time now, we got engaged, but I found out 3 weeks ago that he slept with my friend 4 months ago, we fell out but started talking again and sorted things out,, we both decided on a break so he could sort his head out yet all he's been doing is going to town with his friends and things which isn't sorting his head out, and its taking the mickey out of me a bit advise much needed please xx

Hate to say it but I just went through this with my (ex) girlfriend. People don't usually just cheat out of nowhere. There are usually some underlying reasons in the relationship why its not fulfilling to him

It sounds like he doesn't respect you at all. Personally cheating is a deal breaker for me because it means the other party a) didn't respect your relationship, and b) wasn't satisfied by only you

If you continue your relationship with him, expect it to get worse. Sorry kiddo, you sound really sweet and I hate when people hurt others like this

The night he did it was the night of his birthday party that I threw him we were living in shared accommodation with 2 of my friends he'd had a lot to drink and decided he would take drugs with his friend,, I went to a shop with a few of his friend as they had run out of alcohol and didn't know where the shop was, he slept with my friend/ house mate and she told me when I moved out but he denied it and swore down on his dads ashes that he didn't then admitted it a few weeks ago... I still love him but don't know if I want to be with him anymore he says he loves me and wouldn't do I again but I have no trust in him now

He slept with your friend while you two were together. That is messed up. It's not him who needs to sort his head out. You would do good to sort your head out instead. Do YOU want to marry a guy who has sex with your friends?

No not at all, Ive just been really confused, I need help on this really bad

Why are you waiting for him to sort things out?? It doesn't seem like he is doing anything to make this relationship work after he was the one that did the wrong by sleeping with your friend.

You can do bad by yourself and you shouldn't sit around waiting for him.

Thanks liz

I know what it can be like to love someone so much that you ignore everything bad that they have done. But the simple fact is that he lied to you about it and continued to deny it until for whatever reason he finally admitted to it...

He realized he can lie to you and get away with it. What else has he lied to you about?

So let me get this straight... he sleeps with your friend (cheating on you) on the day that you:

A.) Throw him a birthday party
B.) Make a beer run for him during this party

That is totally messed up, as those are two cool things that you can do for a boyfriend. Drop this fool immediately.

P.S. - Another huge red flag: him doing drugs with his friends. I don't care if it's just marijuana... drugs are for losers, plain and simple.

Waiting for him to sort himself out?
What... why

Get rid of him. He is a cheater and has no respect for you simple as that.

There couldn't be anymore red flags in this post.

Get rid of the guy
He is not worth your time

Bad fiancé. Alcohol is no excuse, really. They know it can impair their judgement, HE did drugs. And they wanted MORE alcohol? The situation was bound to happen with irresponsible behavior, and he lied about it.
DUMP HIM

He cheats he drinks he takes drugs-why would you want to stay with this clown?find your selfrespect and leave him.

we both decided on a break so he could sort his head out

HOW IS HE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO SORT THINGS OUT IN HIS HEAD?

He's the one who cheated. He should be down on your knees begging you for forgiveness.


he sez he loves me and wouldnt do i again but i have no trust in him now

NO TRUST = NO RELATIONSHIP

If he hasn't made sufficient progress in earning your trust back by now, then why are you sticking around? You're just torturing yourself.

I think you back away from this guy, and get one who can handle a mature adult relationship, like a real man, not some fun lovin' goofy a$$ kid.

I am just curious, what about the friend he slept with? I agree with the others and kick him to the curb. Don't waste another ounce of energy on him. But where is she now? I mean she slept with your boyfriend while she was living with you and never told you until you moved apart. Please tell me your not still hanging with her.