I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we won't see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?

Your single she is not.

She is unavailable.

Married.

Leave this woman alone before this goes any further.

If its this great love you talk of how come she has not left her husband?

I don't know where this is going, but hopefully it ends up with the two of you breaking it off and going your separate ways. She's married and cheating with you and you lost a girlfriend because you wanted to cheat with this married woman. You're contributing to the potential breakup of her marriage. It's not likely that she'll ever file for divorce. She's in what seems to be a stable, secure home, even if she's not "happy". Why should she give that up for you? Fact is she won't, plain and simple. Now if her jilted husband decides to take action, that's a different story. But we don't know if that'll ever happen either or not.

I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we wont see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?

This isn't going anywhere buddy. This is probably more of a sexual relationship than anything else.

She loves you huh? What does it say about this woman's integrity and loyality? She is in marriage (grant an UNHAPPY one) with kids (I feel sorry for the kids more than anybody else... POOR KIDS).

And what about your morality and character sir? You know this is wrong!! You are just as wrong about this as she is.

Dude drop this woman. She's trouble. Tell her "If she ever gets a divorce then call you."

LEAVE HER ALONE...

Just move on dude.

I know where its been, it lead to you cheating on your g/f, and losing her. As to where its going? Nowhere, as you know its wrong, and she will stay where she is, and has security, and your stuck listening to the crap she tells you, and being in limbo, while you help her cheat on her husband.

If she was in fact sincere, she would have divorced her husband, and taken up with you. She did not, she keeps you on the side to fill the blanks in her life, with a willing fool.

She may indeed have feelings for you, most cheaters do, but not enough to take a chance on leaving where she has a life.

The real question is, why are you being a boy toy, part time love, to someone who has a life without you. Where are you headed??

ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE.

Yes sorry it's a cul-de-sac-a deadend street.time to hit the highway.

This isn't going anywhere buddy. This is probably more of a sexual relationship than anything else.

She loves you huh? What does it say about this woman's integrity and loyality? She is in marriage (grant an UNHAPPY one) with kids (I feel sorry for the kids more than anybody else...POOR KIDS).

And what about your morality and character sir? You know this is wrong!!! You are just as wrong about this as she is.

Dude drop this woman. She's trouble. Tell her "If she ever gets a divorce then call you."

LEAVE HER ALONE...

Just move on dude.

I understand that it's not that easy for her to get a divorce right away. She mentioned to me that she is considering getting one, but I don't know exactly when. Sigh...

I know where its been, it lead to you cheating on your g/f, and losing her. As to where its going? Nowhere, as you know its wrong, and she will stay where she is, and has security, and your stuck listening to the crap she tells you, and being in limbo, while you help her cheat on her husband.

If she was in fact sincere, she would have divorced her husband, and taken up with you. She did not, she keeps you on the side to fill the blanks in her life, with a willing fool.

She may indeed have feelings for you, most cheaters do, but not enough to take a chance on leaving where she has a life.

The real question is, why are you being a boy toy, part time love, to someone who has a life without you. Where are you headed???

ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE.

When I found out that she's married with kids it's too late because I love her already. Now it's very very hard for me to let her go. I know I'm destroying a family but what can I do now? I'm really in love with this woman. I know I need help, big time.

I don't know where this is going, but hopefully it ends up with the two of you breaking it off and going your separate ways. She's married and cheating with you and you lost a girlfriend because you wanted to cheat with this married woman. You're contributing to the potential breakup of her marriage. It's not likely that she'll ever file for divorce. She's in what seems to be a stable, secure home, even if she's not "happy". Why should she give that up for you? Fact is she won't, plain and simple. Now if her jilted husband decides to take action, that's a different story. But we don't know if that'll ever happen either or not.

It's really hard for both of us to break it off, specially now that we are in the same class. I know we can't be like this forever, but for now I really don't know what to do. I'm so much in love with her already.

Same class? Can you explain that? Are you in school together or is this a cultural thing?

I understand that it's not that easy for her to get a divorce right away. She mentioned to me that she is considering getting one, but I don't know exactly when. sigh...

Dude there you go... rationalizing her actions... bottom line is low interest... but your ego is telling you to be persistent. You'll be waiting forever.

SHE'S CONSIDERING GETTING ONE? Dude she is just stringing you along. Man can't you see the reality of the situation? Leave her alone.

Its obvious that you are so in love with this woman. Her interest level is 49%, if that. While yours is 99%... Dude you are losing it...

Your ego is telling you to stick around and see what happens... she loves you too...

BUT REALITY IS TELLING YOU IF YOU LISTEN THAT YOU NEED TO DROP THIS WOMAN...

TELL HER "WHEN SHE GETS HER DIVORCE THEN CALL YOU" BUT IM 99% SURE SHE WON'T DO IT...

Same class? Can you explain that? Are you in school together or is this a cultural thing?

Yes, we are in school together, she's my classmate.

You are just a play toy... get used to it. She's not going to leave her husband. If she wants to be with you tell her that you two can be together AFTER her divorce is final and get out of her life until then.

I bet she won't get a divorce.

Married is off limits.she has two children and they should be her priority.

Dude there you go...rationalizing her actions...bottom line is low interest...but your ego is telling you to be persistent. You'll be waiting forever.

SHE'S CONSIDERING GETTING ONE? Dude she is just stringing you along. Man can't you see the reality of the situation? Leave her alone.

Its obvious that you are so in love with this woman. Her interest level is 49%, if that. While yours is 99%...Dude you are losing it...

Your ego is telling you to stick around and see what happens...she loves you too...

BUT REALITY IS TELLING YOU IF YOU LISTEN THAT YOU NEED TO DROP THIS WOMAN...

TELL HER "WHEN SHE GETS HER DIVORCE THEN CALL YOU" BUT IM 99% SURE SHE WON'T DO IT...

How can I just drop her? It's really hard to do that now. I am in love with her and I can't stop loving her already. :(

married is off limits.she has two children and they should be her priority.

I know they should be her priority, but she's really into me now. She said her husband is trying to fix their issue but it looks like she doesn't want to fix it anymore. Sigh...

No one said it was going to be easy to break it off , but you got yourself into this mess so time to Man up and do the right thing and stop being selfish.

You can't help the way you feel but you can control how you act upon those feelings.

I hope for your sake her hubby isn't a Pro wrestler :cool:

HAAA I have to laugh. You're behaving like a mindless idiot. First things, she is NOT going to get a divorce. Second, you didn't find out that she was married with kids until AFTER the affair started?
That should be a HUGE red flag. She's beenn playing you. She doesn't give a S*** about your feelings, she's more worried about her own emotional needs. She's selfish, and you are too.

You realize that when her kids find out, which they will, that they will be completely distroyed by it. Even if you were to somehow end up together, They would DISPISE you, and give you endless crap, as well as her, all kinds of hell for it. Kids can be tough, but that's the least of your worries.

Quit behaving like a moron.

How can I just drop her? It's really hard to do that now. I am inlove with her and I can't stop loving her already. :(
Maybe you don't want to, but you need to. Look if you don't even try to do right, and know your doing wrong, what does that say about you?

Is this going to be a 100 posts of you telling us you can't leave her alone?? :eek:

Thank you all for posting! I'm still a mess, but trying to fix myself.

Wow... this sounds like what my mom did. Except she was unhappy in her marriage and the guydidnt have a girlfriend. Ill tell you what you should do. Leave her the f*** alone!! (I hope I can say that) seriously though. It made me so upset as a kid and its wrong. Really wrong. Leave her alone and find someone else.

wow...this sounds like what my mom did. except she was unhappy in her marriage and the guydidnt have a gf. ill tell you what you should do. leave her the f*** alone!!!!!!!! (i hope i can say that) seriously though. it made me so upset as a kid and its wrong. really wrong. leave her alone and find someone else.

You're mom cheated on your dad because she wasn't happy in their marriage any longer?

You're mom cheated on your dad because she wasn't happy in their marriage any longer?

Yes, she was unhappy about her marriage but instead of talking and figuring it out she went behind my dad's back and her own kids back and was out all night with this man

I saw a show the other night where a woman had a wealthy husband, but they had a pre-nup. And so she had an affair with another man and plotted to frame him for murdering her husband (although sh did it). She planned everything to make it look like the man was atalking her and everything, and then she stabbed herself too just tomake sure she was ruled out for murder and could get away clean with the money from her late husbands death. She pretended that she loved this other man too.

It's just a show, but things like that happen in real life. Might not be to that extent, but she doesn't plan on being with you.

Be careful.

Look at the reality of this situation. Decide if you are in position in life to care for a ready made family. If this woman ever does decide to leave her husband, there's a chance that the kids may come with her. Could you and would you be ready to handle the responsibilities of the children's healthcare, college educations, paying the mortgage or rent for this family,and sacrificing EVERY area of YOUR life for this family. If you can't say yes to these common realities.. . Then you'd better run. Believe me, after taking on these burdens your life will not remain in the euphoric state that you are feeling now.

WHY DO YOU THINK THE HUSBAND WORKS AS MUCH AS HE DOES

I'm pretty sure that she's weighing all of these details out as well. If she's not considering her life with you as part of a family unit with HER kids, then consider that fact as a major RED FLAG with regard to her credibility, intentions or her lack of intentions.

Ask yourself one more time, "Is Love All We Need?" (maybe in a fairy tale or a Beatles song)

I'm not telling you what to do. The euphoria that you are feeling is stronger than any advice/opinion that you'll get on the internet. I am however giving you the real considerations regarding real life.
Good luck. Do the right thing. You're dealing with the kids lives, not only yours. Gary D.

P.S. I'm not sure if this question was written by a male or female.

It was written by a guy.

No sometimes love isn't enough. There involves way more than love.

Response to ohsohappy: I guess in this day it really doesn't matter if a male or female wrote" IS LOVE ALL WE NEED". The same considerations exist.

Sounds like HONEY 2009 has been a diversion from the married persons unhappy homelife.

Response to ohsohappy: I guess in this day it really doesn't matter if a male or female wrote" IS LOVE ALL WE NEED". The same considerations exist.

Sounds like HONEY 2009 has been a diversion from the married persons unhappy homelife.

That is true.
I was confused by the SN too but I figured it was a guy because of the way they were talking.

Did you mean to give me an "agree?"
Because if not, you should probably know that "disagrees" should only be given based on a fact basis, not opinions. Just a reminder. I was confused by your response. But just remember that it's considered a courtesy not to "disagree" someone withough real proof. There are nicer ways to disagree, i.e. quote member. It's a response to their respons, and it won't look good or bad on their reputations. I'm not getting on your case, but I just figured I'd let you know in case you already didn't.

That is true.
I was confused by the SN too but I figured it was a guy because of the way they were talking.

Did you mean to give me an "agree?"
Because if not, you should probably know that "disagrees" should only be given based on a fact basis, not opinions. Just a reminder. I was confused by your response. But just remember that it's considered a courtesy not to "disagree" someone withough real proof. There are nicer ways to disagree, i.e. quote member. It's a response to their respons, adn it wont look good or bad on their reputations. I'm not getting on your case, but I just figured I'd let you know in case you already didn't.

Ohso happy, Thank you for the advice, I'm sincerely sorry if I offended anyone in even the smallest way. I must admit that I am a very recent member and do not know what eticate applies on this site. As well, I am unfamiliar with all of the options available. Please accept my apology.
I am now very interested in your story. I'll reread the original entry.

ohso happy, Thank you for the advice, I'm sincerely sorry if I offended anyone in even the smallest way. I must admit that I am a very recent member and do not know what eticate applies on this site. As well, I am unfamiliar with all of the options available. please accept my apology.
I am now very interested in your story. I'll reread the original entry.

No harm done, I just figured I should tell you before anything like that actually happened.

I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we wont see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?

I re read your original letter and still maintain the idea that it is possible that the letter could have been written by a female, That is the only fact that I was unsure of.
Let's examin the facts available to me as I read the story.

1st- "Honey" 2009 gives a softer impression of the user.. . Or leaning toward the femenine side. No offence, please understand that I am trying to explain the words that offended you.

2nd- Simply read your letter and imagine that a female wrote it.
It still fits perfectly. It is 2009. The age of alternative relationships.

Now let me explain my comments. Your affair is with a woman 9 years your senior.
She has 2 kids who need a father figure in their life and a roof over their heads or they're going to end up with D.Y.F.S. Are you a strong father image with a home to shelter those kids with? And more importantly. . Do you want to be ? I'm sure your girlfriend would take this into consideration if she decided to leave her husband. Your future relationship will always include the kids. Forever.

Again I'll say, is she talking about the future and does that future include you AND the kids. Most women wouldn't move an inch away without their kids. Re: credibility and her intentions. If her intention is to leave her husband for you.. . Has she said that at any time? Or does her silence represent her "lack of intention"?

I don't know your age or anything about you to "disagree". But I know this to be a HARD fact. You are dealing with the kids lives. If these kids are important to her, she is likely to make the ultimate decision about " you and her " based on those kids. A mom with any amount of "credibility" as a mom, would chose their kids over a fling or a diversion from an unhappy marriage. Please don't be insulted. With these thoughts, you will be able to get an idea of where you actually stand.

If I were to give you a plan of action, I would tell you to tell her that you can't deal with the relationship as it is now. You as the third wheel. You love her so much that it's tearing your guts out. When she leaves the marriage, you are ready to get ingaged.
See how she reacts. Let that be your guide. Just be prepared for her answer. What will you do if she says "yes". If you REALLY want to know where the relationship is going, YOU need to put it to the test.

I'm wondering why you can't bring yourself to ask her to file for divorce.. .

As long as you stay in this clandetine affair, you will be the third wheel that has NO control at all over the pain in your heart. No control over anything! She needs to think of her kids best interests first. As you can tell, it's ALL about the kids. You and her play 2nd fiddle in the overall sceme of things. This is FACT.

Again, Please don't be insulted or mad at me. Nothing that I have written was written with any hostility toward you or the relationship. Best of Luck to you both. Gary

Let's just ask shall we?
Honey, are you male or female?

I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we wont see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?

You're having an AFFAIR.

You're having sex with a MARRIED WOMAN, someone else's WIFE.

You're committing ADULTERY.

You know this is WRONG.

You know that you're ruining a FAMILY.

You should be ASHAMED of yourself.

Even if she is unhappy with her husband's work schedule, or what happens in their house, that's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

You keep going "sigh". Is that supposed to make us feel sorry for you? Well it doesn't.

You are a homewrecker, and she's a lying cheater.

You've already devastated one life (your girlfriend). Even though she's probably better off now, she's been hurt. And you don't seem to care.

You can't seem to ask her about a divorce, but you have no problem taking off her clothes.

This woman's poor husband is trying to work things out, and someone like you is still bedding his wife.

The world is full of available women, go find one of your own. That isn't already MARRIED.

I feel your pain! This is going nowhere. You guys are probably in need of some secret thrills. She might feel stuck in her marriage and she's this older, understanding woman who listens to your stories and offers support. I know how difficult this must be for you and how painful it is but it's a dead end. Pain for all involved.

OK, let's make this more practical for you... Her pissed off kids and husband will be in your life forever. Sound fun?

You're having an AFFAIR.

You're having sex with a MARRIED WOMAN, someone else's WIFE.

You're committing ADULTERY.

You know this is WRONG.

You know that you're ruining a FAMILY.

You should be ASHAMED of yourself.

Even if she is unhappy with her husband's work schedule, or what happens in their house, that's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

You keep going "sigh". Is that supposed to make us feel sorry for you? Well it doesn't.

You are a homewrecker, and she's a lying cheater.

You've already devasted one life (your girlfriend). Even though she's probably better off now, she's been hurt. And you don't seem to care.

You can't seem to ask her about a divorce, but you have no problem taking off her clothes.

This woman's poor husband is trying to work things out, and someone like you is still bedding his wife.

The world is full of available women, go find one of your own. That isn't already MARRIED.


EXACTLY!
Can someone write the word "DUH" across his forehead backwards please. That way every time he looks in the mirror it's even more of a reminder.

I know what you are going through. You have to fight these feelings. My boss has had a crush on me for the past 8 months. He's married with 3 children. We work together and see each other everyday. It's been up and down and I have cried and lost sleep due to having to fight my feelings. Oh, and I have a boyfriend.

I have not given in to my boss. I will not give in but I can certainly see how people do.

I saw his daughter once and his wife a couple of times. It's heart breaking for me to see that his wife is powerless against his behavior. You need to think of the poor husband trying to make the relationship work... to save the marriage and the family. HIS marriage and HIS family. Maybe you need to look at the husband's face and see the kids to help you cool off.

There will be other women... Single women. There won't be any true love between you when you are causing so much pain to others.
You have to BE STRONG. YOU CAN DO IT!

Let's just ask shall we?
Honey, are you male or female?

I'm a male

rewes agrees: another perfect response. A little angry though

It should be a lot angry. How would this guy feel if HE was married, and someone like HIM came along and started having sex (being polite) with HIS wife? He wouldn't like it, just like most of us. He wants to know "if love is all we need", like we should give him advice on how to steal some poor guy's wife. HA!

You date married woman, love her and you are OK that she cheats on her husband. Why don't you think that she will cheat on you some time later (even if she will divorce)?

Does she tell you she doesn't sleep with her husband? I'm sure she does, like married guys do.

I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you. But in russia that type of women is a whore, no exuses.
Lover(like you) will never marry her and husband will kick her and divorce. But here in america seems 2 guys will try to hold her... so different mentality.

Don't love your partner anymore? Finish relationship with him/her and than start new one! That's the rule of intelligent people! Not on the same time!

I hope it will be just some ideas for you to think and you will not get offended!

By abc_abc_abc;
Don't love your partner anymore? Finish relationship with him/her and than start new one! That's the rule of intelligent people! Not on the same time!


I completely agree! People can be really thick headed!