At first, I was skeptical about meeting people online, so I never took any of it seriously; this was not until I met my ex-girlfriend. I’m not sure exactly how she did it, but I fell in love with her. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s beautiful, smart, understanding and has an amazing personality. I’m 28, an engineer, and she’s 23, a med student.

We’ve known each other for 5 years now. We started dating not long after we met. Initially, we both weren’t serious about it, but the more we talked, the more I found myself falling for her. I couldn’t bare the thought of having her leave me. I tried my best to make her happy, and she was. She told me absolutely everything—from her first love, to what she ate for lunch, to her future plans. She also encouraged me and gave me confidence. I changed a lot during that time—in a good way. I thought everything was going great, but she suddenly broke down one day and wanted/needed a break. She said school was driving her insane, and she just needed some space to herself, so we broke up. About a year after that, I guess she had her thoughts and feelings organized, so she started talking to me, and apologized for what happened.

However, during that one year, the period we stopped talking, I was really miserable and depressed. I missed her so much. I felt empty and lost. My friends started introducing me to numerous women, but I still couldn’t forget about her. Although I wanted her back, I felt I had to move on some how, so I accepted all my friend’s invitations. I know it’s wrong and unacceptable, but I fooled around with many women, both online and in real life. I thought it would fill the emptiness inside, but it didn’t. I just wanted and needed her back.

Although we weren’t dating anymore, when she started talking to me again, I distanced myself from all the women I fooled around with. I remained in contact with a few of them, but my attention was still on my ex. My ex-girlfriend matured even more during that period. Having both brain and looks, she naturally attracted a lot of attention, but she enjoyed the freedom of being single, so she didn’t date anyone. As a friend, she continued telling me everything, including what happened during that one year. However, that was when I lied to her for the first time about not seeing anyone. That one single lie, led to more lies. It’s my fault but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened, because I didn’t want her to be disgusted. Even though she only liked me as a friend, I tried to match up to her standards. Eventually, after about 3 years, she fell in love with me again, and this time, it was for real. She says it’s hard finding a man as faithful, honest and hardworking as I am. I wanted to come clean, but I couldn’t because I know how much she hates it when people lie. It made me feel disgusted, and I always felt guilty about it, but I thought everything would be all right.

My ex-girlfriend is a very busy woman. She works, volunteers, has a social life, is dating me, and is in med school. I’m not sure how she juggles all of that, but she manages somehow. However, because of her busy schedule, sometimes, we end up not talking for days, but when we do, she manages to fill me in on everything. I know I shouldn’t get jealous of her other guy friends, but I’m a normal guy. We talked about this; she apologized and distanced herself from her guy friends. She fully trusted me, but I started talking to other women when my girlfriend wasn’t around.

Recently, she found out about my lies. She cried for the first time in front of me. The pain was unbearable to see her hurt like that. I tried explaining and told her I didn’t know how she would react. Her friends are making it impossible for me to win her back. They told her she was played, and that she needs to move on, so now, she believes I’ve been playing her the whole time, and that’s just not true at all. I told her I was stupid and shouldn’t have done that. I never lied about my feelings. She says she wants to believe me, but she just can’t anymore. I love her so much. I still can’t forgive myself, but I honestly can’t live without her. My future was planned around her, and I kept telling her that, but she won’t believe me anymore. We’re both still in love with each other, but she won’t listen anymore. I messed up and I really regret it. Work can be extremely stressful, but she always brightens up my days. I don’t know what to do now. Is it really too late?

Get out of your funk, you made a mistake, and paid the price for it. Its time to prove for yourself, that you can make adjustments for yourself, and be happy again without her.

Make plans that don't include her, and get your life in order. Its not to late to learn your life lesson, (a hard pill to swallow, but that's life) and don't repeat that mistake again.

Don't look back! Nobody can say what she will do in the future, but you can leave her alone, and do what you can for your own future.

Sorry for your loss.

OK,I read your post twice.. just to be sure.
This is what I think if its worth anything to you..

You did'nt actually cheat on her.

You lied about being with other woman when you were apart,but you did not cheat..
You put this woman on a pedalsil,you adored and idolised her,she told you every detail of her day,you provided a shoulder,a constant in her life,and when you broke up she discovered you held that flame for her throughout it all ,(a lie) but as far as she was concerned not,what an ego trip that must have been.

When she hears about the other women,pedalsil crashes and burns.. shock horror your human,and she is not a goddess!

Of course she was gutted.

If she truly loves you, with a little space she will hopefully see that you do/did really love her,and did not cheat on her,maybe she will realise this before you move on with your life and know you have put enough into this relationship already.

Redhed35; you did'nt actually cheat on her.

No! I never cheated on her. I talked to the other women occasionally, but we never did anything. But, I lied... about not seeing anyone. She's asked me before, but I couldn't be honest. At that time, she was giving me the chance to be honest, but I didn't know. I was disgusted with myself, I wanted to forget about it. I never thought she'd actually find out, but when she did, she didn't understand why I lied. She said it's all in the past, why lie about? Unless I wasn't feeling guilty about it, or if I had to hide something, I shouldn't have. I don't know! I was stupid. I didn't want her to get jealous, that's all. I didn't know how she'd react. I love her, and I didn't want to lose her--that's all there is to it. I know I shouldn't have lied, and I really regret lying to her. I just want her to trust me again, and take me back.

By cantletgo
No! I never cheated on her. I talked to the other women occasionally, but we never did anything. But, I lied... about not seeing anyone. She's asked me before, but I couldn't be honest. At that time, she was giving me the chance to be honest, but I didn't know. I was disgusted with myself, I wanted to forget about it. I never thought she'd actually find out, but when she did, she didn't understand why I lied. She said it's all in the past, why lie about? Unless I wasn't feeling guilty about it, or if I had to hide something, I shouldn't have. I don't know! I was stupid. I didn't want her to get jealous, that's all. I didn't know how she'd react. I love her, and I didn't want to lose her--that's all there is to it. I know I shouldn't have lied, and I really regret lying to her. I just want her to trust me again, and take me back.

It seems like something's missing. Are you telling us everything? You say you "talked to other women ...." WHY? If you loved her so much, and she was wanting to get back with you, why take a chance with other women who don't even come close to her? And if her friends are so quick to throw you under the bus, it makes me wonder... WHY? What did you do, really? It has to be more than what we've been told. If her friends are giving her advice like that, you must have either done more than you're telling us, or THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. And again I ask... WHY? You say you "cannot live without her". What does that mean? Are you contemplating suicide if she doesn't take you back? She may not like liars, as I'm quite sure most people here don't either, but she is an intelligent woman, and can understand you're being reluctant to come clean about you seeing other women during HER requested break. It would seem very selfish for her to expect you to remain all alone during this break. Wouldn't it? It would seem natural for you to find comfort in the arms of another woman. Woman in the singular, not plural. It sounds to me that you went buck wild. Being a male whore doesn't heal a broken heart. So I ask WHY.

Maybe you have learned your lesson
Here's how I get it
You lied about talking to anyone or being with anyone for a year?
Do you not see that,the lie made you look so pathetic like you didn't do anything for a year except wait for her,OR you're a big fat liar
You ex-gf is smart and she fiqured it out
You know what if I sat around waiting for a ex-gf to call for a year and she finally called I would lie and tell her
"OH yea ive seen someone" you not only came out looking like a liar you look like a loser as well

LISTEN... it is okay... you made a mistake,has she never made a mistake?? You lied to her because you didn't want her to hurt.She needs to drop it & move on or get out!

You have broken her trust. Lies are the worst because it makes people mistrust you in all other areas of life. I think you should leave her alone and move on. She deserves better. Plus I think she will always have doubts abouts you now as the trust is broken. Even if you do try it is very very hard to rebuild trust. Learn from your mistake and don't lie to people you care about in the future.

Myfair said it best
And my point (after reading it a bit harsh)
Was that the lie made him look worse than the truth.
The truth shall set you free.. always

You should date her mom, sister or best girl friend - or all 3!!
Move on bro. she will prob always bring up *the past* and that can be no fun.