kerrichinchilla
Aug 27, 2009, 06:06 PM
My dad has liver failure and has recently been put on the transplant list.
All my family and my parents friends have told me its my job to help out and look after my mum, dad and young sister, this involves all the driving because I'm the only one who can drive (dad can't drive he's ill and mum hasn't got a liance and my sister is 15), and caring for them when they get up set.
I don't mind this but I have no support, I feel selfish when all this worrying gets to me.
I start college in a week and I'm a mature student my parents don't want me to go to college they have made this very slear they want grandchildren and because they believe I don't want any I'm letting them down especially my mother.
I think I'm infertile anyway because I haven't had periods for 4 years, I could never tell any one this because I'm afraid she might disown me or hate me more
She makes it very clear I'm not the favorite and tells her friends I'm between jobs.
She's made a new friend she's about 10 years older than me and she treats her like her daughter and this woman is getting married and planning children she's on top of the moon planning everything.
I'm so worried about my dad but can't exspess this because it a sign of weakness I've been told this since a child even when I had to watch two grandparents die terrible deaths at the ages of 6 and 8 I was never allowed to get upset.
I was also physically abused by my teacher at primary school he picked me up by my neck and threw me onto a table in a rage and nearly broke my spine, my mother neww about this but still made me go to the same school for another 4 years.
I buried the memory about what happened but lately its een creeping back and I don't know how to cope.
The only waything I do when I'm scared or upset is fget angry so then my mother uses this against me saying what a bad person and how I'm not helping her.
I can't take much more and I'm worried sick about my dad.
I'm so down and sometimes I think perhaps if I died he could have my liver because that's all I'm worth.
All my family and my parents friends have told me its my job to help out and look after my mum, dad and young sister, this involves all the driving because I'm the only one who can drive (dad can't drive he's ill and mum hasn't got a liance and my sister is 15), and caring for them when they get up set.
I don't mind this but I have no support, I feel selfish when all this worrying gets to me.
I start college in a week and I'm a mature student my parents don't want me to go to college they have made this very slear they want grandchildren and because they believe I don't want any I'm letting them down especially my mother.
I think I'm infertile anyway because I haven't had periods for 4 years, I could never tell any one this because I'm afraid she might disown me or hate me more
She makes it very clear I'm not the favorite and tells her friends I'm between jobs.
She's made a new friend she's about 10 years older than me and she treats her like her daughter and this woman is getting married and planning children she's on top of the moon planning everything.
I'm so worried about my dad but can't exspess this because it a sign of weakness I've been told this since a child even when I had to watch two grandparents die terrible deaths at the ages of 6 and 8 I was never allowed to get upset.
I was also physically abused by my teacher at primary school he picked me up by my neck and threw me onto a table in a rage and nearly broke my spine, my mother neww about this but still made me go to the same school for another 4 years.
I buried the memory about what happened but lately its een creeping back and I don't know how to cope.
The only waything I do when I'm scared or upset is fget angry so then my mother uses this against me saying what a bad person and how I'm not helping her.
I can't take much more and I'm worried sick about my dad.
I'm so down and sometimes I think perhaps if I died he could have my liver because that's all I'm worth.