:confused:I have recently found out that I had a son in NY, I live in LA. I took the mother to court to prove paternity. I received a temporary order from the New York state for child support. The mother never brought in her financial information to court so we have another court appearance coming up. She claims it will show no money and that she is not on assistance. Since the last court appearance, I paid her two CS checks and then she took the child to my mothers in Tennessee (for the weekend, I paid for the ticket) and it has been there for almost two months. She is asking my mother to care for the child for at least one more month. We (me and my mother) were initially unaware of the length of time she would be leaving the child. I discussed with her that if she left the child with my mom for an extended period that I would divert my CS payments to my mom until she resumed custody and initially she was OK with it.
Two weeks later she calls and acts like we didn't have the conversation. She then filed a motion with family court saying I have refused her child support. I have all my cancelled checks that I diverted and receipts for everything I have purchased but what is my recourse? Will I have to pay for the last three months again? She left the child with some milk, a few diapers, and the clothes on his back. I have bought beds, strollers, and have to pay for child care since my mother works, etc. I am not worried about the money but can she literally abandone my child with my mother and family? She calls once a week to check on the child. I call twice a day and I have been able to visit and bond with him since he has been in TN, however I feel like the state is going to rule in her favor. What are the rules for this if any?

Is there any visitation in place ? Another thing is why didn't you take the child back with you ?
Your mother has no legal standing at this time. And it sounds like the courts have found you as the legal father and are now asking fr support from you.

You never mentioned the results of the paternity test. Has a result been issued? Until legal paternity can be established then the mother has full custody. She can choose to leave the child with someone for extended periods. But if the child got sick or was injured, a legal parent would have to contacted to approve care.

You need to get the courts to rule on paternity, custody, visitation and child support.

Why do you feel the state will rule in her favor? If you have documentation of what you have paid, they shouldn't.

I was found to be the father by the court but in New York CS and custody are determined by two separate courts. She wouldn't allow me to take the child. I have been paying child support.





Is there any visitation in place ? Another thing is why didnt you take the child back with you ?
Your mother has no legal standing at this time. And it sounds like the courts have found you as the legal father and are now asking fr support from you.

Paternity was how I was found to be the father. Filiation and child support has been determined. My problem is not her leaving the child with me or my mom for an extended period. The problem is she wishes for me to continue to pay child support to her and I have to send money to Tennessee as well. I have taken full responsibility for his financial obligation with my mom but she doesn't have him.

I have never been in trouble but I still don't trust the court.





You never mentioned the results of the paternity test. Has a result been issued? Until legal paternity can be established then the mother has full custody. She can choose to leave the child with someone for extended periods of time. But if the child got sick or was injured, a legal parent would have to contacted to approve care.

You need to get the courts to rule on paternity, custody, visitation and child support.

Why do you feel the state will rule in her favor? If you have documentation of what you have paid, they shouldn't.

I still say that since you're the legal father and the child has been away from the mother for so long to take the child back home with you and file emergency custody orders with the court. What the mother has done is desertion. In leaving the child with your mother and not providing for the child's needs while gone. You have a opportunity to gain custody. Consult a lawyer first but I believe its well within your rights to do so because you ARE the legal father and she IS your child.

I am getting an attorney and will do that.

Thank you

I still say that since your the legal father and the child has been away from the mother for so long to go ahead and take the child back home with you and file emergency custody orders with the court. What the mother has done is desertion. In leaving the child with your mother and not providing for the childs needs while gone. You have a oppertunity to gain custody. Consult a lawyer first but I believe its well within your rights to do so because you ARE the legal father and she IS your child.