View Full Version : I've reached my goal. But I can't stop.
BrownDeceit
Aug 25, 2009, 03:16 AM
Has anyone else reached their desired complexion? The one they've been dreaming about. Looking at celebrities and just longing to be that complexion. Until one day you wake up and you realize that you are. And instead of planning how to maintain... You plan how to get a 1/2 a shade lighter. Then another 1/2 shade. Until it just keeps going on and on. How do you stop yourself? I just want to keep getting lighter. For fear of getting darker again. Anyone else in this same boat? Share your experiences.
shazamataz
Aug 25, 2009, 03:36 AM
You have started 8 topics in the past few months, all about skin lightening.
I'm not trying to sound harsh but perhaps talking to a therapist or counselor about your obsession with lightening may benefit you.
One of the biggest reasons I have noticed in the SL forum is low self esteem.
Even you say "how do you stop yourself?"
I have never understood lightening and I never will but I understand that it is becoming more popular and for a lot of people it is for the wrong reasons.
BrownDeceit
Aug 25, 2009, 04:20 AM
You have started 8 topics in the past few months, all about skin lightening.
I'm not trying to sound harsh but perhaps talking to a therapist or councellor about your obsession with lightening may benefit you.
One of the biggest reasons I have noticed in the SL forum is low self esteem.
Even you say "how do you stop yourself?"
I have never understood lightening and I never will but I understand that it is becoming more popular and for a lot of people it is for the wrong reasons.
I appreciate your concern. But if this is what makes me happy. I'm going to do just that. When people tan. I don't see people telling them to go to counselors. I do like the fact that you seem very sincere, and that your goal was not to cause any emotional harm. But I would also like you to see it from my perspective and consider the example I offered.
so sexy
Aug 25, 2009, 05:41 AM
BrownDeceit what are you using?
BrownDeceit
Aug 25, 2009, 05:45 AM
I made a thread about it. I was seriously trying to find something wrong with this product. Since it was natural and working so well. But there's nothing wrong with it. The only harmful substance it has is a bacteria killing ingredient that is in many skin care products and is only harmful in great quantities. I'm ecstatic because in order to receive results I've been having to use mercury and steroid based products that are no good for you. Because Hydroquinone just burns my skin and makes me black. So now that I've found Christaline I swear I am so grateful!!
fairr
Aug 25, 2009, 05:52 AM
My goal has always remained the same
Just never reach it! :|
Hopefully with the christaline your using! Fingers crossed
so sexy
Aug 25, 2009, 05:59 AM
I agree so where do you get your Christaline from? You can Pm it to be.
gorgeouslady
Aug 25, 2009, 07:10 AM
Browndeceit never mind what anyone says.if you're happy that's the most important.I want to also try the christaline.where did you buy it from?online or instore?can you pm me your source?thanks and your color looks very beautiful in your avi
so sexy
Aug 25, 2009, 12:04 PM
Hi Browndeceit Is this the product that you are using? 55H+ Cristaline? Are something different?
Golden_Girl
Aug 26, 2009, 07:33 PM
You have started 8 topics in the past few months, all about skin lightening.
I'm not trying to sound harsh but perhaps talking to a therapist or councellor about your obsession with lightening may benefit you.
One of the biggest reasons I have noticed in the SL forum is low self esteem.
Even you say "how do you stop yourself?"
I have never understood lightening and I never will but I understand that it is becoming more popular and for a lot of people it is for the wrong reasons.
I it is the same as people who constantly tan or rub on fake tanning lotion... except they can easily go down the store and get it in less than an hour... lol..
And also the same with people dying their hair blond, auburn, brunette, black, even getting highlights...
And the same as people getting colored contacts when their eyes really aren't blue, or gray, or green...
And the same as getting lip injections or rubbing on special lip balm to make their lips swell up and look much more fuller...
And it's the same as people getting nose jobs to make their nose not look so pointy, long, with the bump in the middle...
And it's even the same as many people getting their rump to look more rounded with silicone or whatever they use these days... and "I wonder why do they do that?, that's silly...but I don't have that "problem" they may call it..
But, it is all the same and I doubt they are seeing skrinks for it. Everyone will always want to change or alter something about them, whether it's on the outside or inside. I know that's alot of "the sames" in the world ;)
ohsohappy
Aug 26, 2009, 07:37 PM
Well It's good that you're Happy with the way you look. Can I ask, How light are you planning on getting now, and if you stop skin lightening, will it stay the same way you want it or do you have to maintain it with lighteners?
Anyway, I have noticed that women with a darker complexion tend to be able to wear many different colors of clothes and makeup and still have it look good on them. A lot of fair skinned women can't wear certain colors. I'm sure you already knew that but I figured I'd throw it out. I don't tan or anything, it would be nice to have a bit more color to my light complexion, but mostly I'm just happy with the way I look. :).
shazamataz
Aug 26, 2009, 10:53 PM
Umm wow, OK, I was just showing some concern.
I remembered the OP's name from a question I saw a while back and just had a look at the topics they started. That is why there is the option to view peoples topics/posts, to get more of an idea of the person asking the question.
I wasn't trying to "get business" whatever that was supposed to mean. :confused:
Golden Girl - You answer makes sense to me, especially the nose job part, I would love to get a nose job one day but it is not something I think about constantly, or let it take control of my life.
That is all I meant by my post earlier, I just wanted to make sure that this wasn't a case of being "obsessed" with skin lightening.
Any obsession should be taken seriously, especially something to do with your appearance as it can be taken too far and cause physical and emotional damage.
I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone.
imgorgeous
Aug 27, 2009, 01:50 AM
Well Shaz to get lighter... you have to go on and on with treatments till you reach somewhere...
And to get a nose job you just get it sorted in one shot...
SO there is no obsession in either of the two.
It simply needs mor hard work with lightenening...
And please do not talk about physical damage... Nose jobs cause a lot of physical damaage as well as emotional ones too especially when they BOTCHED UP!. And although you say now that you are not obsessed with that idea... if the doctors botch your nose up you will learn the obsession of getting things right as you will leave no stone unturned to correct your nose..
Its only subjective babes..
hheath541
Aug 27, 2009, 02:16 AM
I it is the same as people who constantly tan or rub on fake tanning lotion...except they can easily go down the store and get it in less than an hour...lol ..
And also the same with people dying their hair blond, auburn, brunette, black, even getting highlights...
And the same as people getting colored contacts when their eyes really aren't blue, or gray, or green...
And the same as getting lip injections or rubbing on special lip balm to make their lips swell up and look much more fuller...
And it's the same as people getting nose jobs to make their nose not look so pointy, long, with the bump in the middle....
And it's even the same as many people getting their rump to look more rounded with silicone or whatever they use these days...and "I wonder why do they do that?, that's silly...but I don't have that "problem" they may call it..
But, it is all the same and I doubt they are seeing skrinks for it. Everyone will always want to change or alter something about them, whether it's on the outside or inside. I know that's alot of "the sames" in the world ;)
I'm going to have to back shaz up on this, and add a bit of my own input.
I don't think she was saying that everyone who lightens needs to see a shrink. Only those who turn it into an obsession.
I, personally, would recommend that anyone who turns any type of body modification into an obsession see a shrink. There's nothing wrong with tanning, or dying your hair, or wearing colored contacts, or even plastic surgery. It's when it becomes impossible to be happy with your appearance UNLESS you are changing it that it becomes an issue. If every time you look in the mirror all you can think is "i wish my skin, or hair or eyes, was a different color" or "i wish i breasts were nigger, or my butt was smaller, or my waist was thinner, or my nose was smaller, or my eyes weren't so close together" that counseling should be sought. At that point it has become an obsession and you need to figure out why.
As long as you can still be happy with who you are, and aren't causing yourself permanent damage, I see nothing wrong with changing your appearances. You just have to be careful not to cross that line.
Everyone has seen those people who look like leather because they tan so much. And the people with hair so dead and dry from dying it that it looks like multi-colored straw. And the people who are more plastic than skin because they just can't find any way other than surgery to be happy with themselves. I don't think anyone here will say that it's healthy to get to that point, and most of you will agree that counseling might be a good idea for those people.
If you found a skin lightener that really has no negative side effects, then I am very happy for you and see no reason why you shouldn't use it.
shazamataz
Aug 27, 2009, 02:31 AM
That's pretty much what I was trying to say hheath you just said it a lot better!
imgorgeous - I only meant physical damage by means of if you are desperate to get lighter and do things that would have bad effects on your skin.
I have even heard of people wanting to put straight bleach on their faces they were so deperate to get lighter!
Yes, nose jobs can get botched and not end up the way you would like them to and then you keep going back to get it fixed again and again...
That's the time when I would suggest a therapist, not after the first time but after they just "had" to keep going back to get it "fixed"
I have no problem with skin lightening at all, I just hate to see people unhappy with their appearance and do stupid things (ie: the straight bleach) trying to obtain perfection when truly, they are perfect in most people eyes anyway.
I agree with hheath that if you have found a product that does no damage to your skin then great, go for it.
hheath541
Aug 27, 2009, 02:35 AM
I have even heard of people wanting to put straight bleach on their faces they were so deperate to get lighter!
I can tell you from experience, long story and it did not involve skin lightening, that straight bleach burns your skin. Not only that, but if it DID lighten you skin don't you think there would be a lot of moms, housekeepers, and janitors with hands several shades lighter than the rest of their body? Since I have yet to see that, I'm assuming that it doesn't work.
imgorgeous
Aug 27, 2009, 02:52 AM
I meant you are RIGHT heath explained it better lol
shazamataz
Aug 27, 2009, 05:29 AM
i meant you are RIGHT heath explained it better lol
Haha, no problem, I hope everyone understands that I didn't mean any harm by what I said, I'm just not good at explaining things!
Golden_Girl
Aug 27, 2009, 03:52 PM
...I have noticed that women with a darker complexion tend to be able to wear many different colors of clothes and makeup and still have it look good on them. a lot of fair skinned women can't wear certain colors. I'm sure you already knew that but I figured I'd throw it out. I don't tan or anything, it would be nice to have a bit more color to my light complexion, but mostly I'm just happy with the way I look. :).
I agree with OhSoHappy, it is true that people with darker tones and tanned tones can wear majority of colors very well, especially bright, very light, and white hues because it helps accentuate their features and the complimentary colors will balance well. And personally I think people with much fairer skin tones look very well with light to medium light colors and also black and other darker hues. And for those with red hair look very well with green as both colors help to balace and compliment one another in equal proportion and peach and pink tones because they help to soften as they are both warm hues.
I remember reading and Indian article (translated) a couple of years back about Indian women and the color of certain clothing and that it mentioned people with darker tones have limited colors to wear, I believe that was mainly a cultural belief and not an artistic or constructive beliefs.
...as long as you can still be happy with who you are, and aren't causing yourself permanent damage, i see nothing wrong with changing your appearances. you just have to be careful not to cross that line.
...if you found a skin lightener that really has no negative side effects...
True, this goes for everyone who chooses to alter their appearance in one way or another and to set a limit, and not only in the Skin Lightening Group. I just imagine if I went to the Hair Care, Fitness, or even the Beauty Group and Women's Health Group and telling them they should seek therapy for their obsessions... :p
I noticed there's even a thread about tanning/melanin injections https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/beauty/tanning-injections-383425.html but I couldn't find any objections to this... as long as the alternations are done in a non hazardous way and to set a limit of where we want to reach then to each his own. No offense taken, as we are all here to learn, grow, and share our knowledge. Because we are all different in many ways along with different beliefs, that is what makes us unique.
hheath541
Aug 27, 2009, 08:59 PM
I noticed theres even a thread about tanning/melanin injections https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/beauty/tanning-injections-383425.html but I couldnt find any objections to this...as long as the alternations are done in a non hazardous way and to set a limit of where we want to reach then to each his own. No offense taken, as we are all here to learn, grow, and share our knowledge. Because we are all different in many ways along with different beliefs, that is what makes us unique.
As harmless as it seems to get melanin injections, because it's a chemical already present in your body, I still wouldn't risk it. Until there's at least 10 years of research into the long-term effects there's no way of knowing what it can actually do to your body. I, personally, do not like to possibly risk my health just to change the way I look. There are, however melanin PILLS that have been proven harmless.
On the same vein of thought; I don't see tanning as safe. It exposes you to concentrated amounts of uv rays, which can cause cancer. Even some of the spray-on tans have been linked to skin cancer. It's just not worth it to me, so I stay my same pale self.
dessaml
Aug 28, 2009, 12:56 AM
You have started 8 topics in the past few months, all about skin lightening.
I'm not trying to sound harsh but perhaps talking to a therapist or councellor about your obsession with lightening may benefit you.
One of the biggest reasons I have noticed in the SL forum is low self esteem.
Even you say "how do you stop yourself?"
I have never understood lightening and I never will but I understand that it is becoming more popular and for a lot of people it is for the wrong reasons.
I kinda have to agree with this. You sound almost like an addict. Glad you're happy but jeez, there is more to life than being light skinded. Maybe you should get a hobby or something.