I have been married for 2 years, and I simply don´t understand why my husband keeps married to me... I´m pretty sure he doesn´t find me attractive because he will only have sex with me if he initiated it, when I approach him he will just make an excuse or play dumb. I suspect that he´s only in the mood when he saw a movie or a person that arouses him.
Another thing is that he always avoid spending time with me alone (except for the sex), whenever I propose an activity he invites his friends or his family. Its been a while since the last time we went for some drinks alone and he was always quiet, bored and asking to leave before 10pm and always when I have half a beer left (to make sure I don't ask for another one). On weekends he likes to visit his family and he makes me spend all day at his parents house, he always finds something they need to fix and leaves me watching TV alone or with his mother.
I am pretty upset I don't even think he cares about my feelings, a couple of nights ago I felt really depressed, I was actually crying and he just rolled over and slept without saying anything. He just ignores me every time I try to talk to him about this.
He tells me that he loves me a lot and he says really sweet things sometimes but he acts like he really doesn´t care about me!

I'm one of those straight, up front people. I would sit him down and tell him exactly what you've posted here. Like you, I don't want sweet words. I want a man who loves me and wants to spend TIME with me.

Tell him how you feel and see what he says.

He may very well not have a clue.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/husband-very-selfish-bed-282483.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/you-obligated-have-kids-390100.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/he-never-got-over-his-ex-282484.html

Wow, when I went back to read your other posts, I see a serious pattern of lack of communications between you both, and think your unresolved issues are really affecting the way you see things.

You really do have to express yourself, both in, and out of bed, and stand your ground when he doesn't listen, or at least talk to you about it.

I think you have to deal with these issues you have, and not just give in to them. That isn't doing you any good to this point.

I have a suggestion - why don't you go and speak to a counselor about how you might talk with your husband and why the relationship is the way it is...

Nothing that you have done so far has worked has it? Well, try something different. Take the initiative and start dealing with it.

Complaining and crying will change nothing. Change your approach and something might. Surely the outcome can only be positive for the difficult dynamic you have with your husband?

I have a question. When did things take a change for the worse, or did they? I'm not talking time frame, but circumstance. What changed, or has it always been somewhat this way? I think in order to answer your question honestly one needs to know this bit of information.

I have a question. When did things take a change for the worse, or did they? I'm not talking time frame, but circumstance. What changed, or has it always been somewhat this way? I think in order to answer your question honestly one needs to know this bit of information.


Did you read the history, the other threads?

I've done similar things to my wife, and I didn't want to emotionally hurt her. Sometimes I'd do things like that, and I didn't know why I was doing it.

He can be in denial that he's emotionally hurting you if it's not clearly communicated to him in no uncertain terms that it hurts you.

Then it puts it on him on whether he wants to be knowingly emotionally hurtful.

I would try to do it without anger or nagging, but be insistent. If my wife shows me anger, I just want the anger to go away and I do a short term fix. If I see it as communication, then I listen.

You might also have to open up a layer of communication where he can actually 'get' you. I'd try to use a lot of the simple emotion words.