How do I begin?I am so broken hearted.me and my boy friend been best friends for over 4 years and he was my only best best friend that I share my secrets with.But we start dating about 14 month .things were very good in the beginning but later he start abusing me and hit me several times.now I am hurting because I lost my best friend at the same time my boy friend that I really love.I don't want forgot to mention he has a child with other woman.But he really hate a woman and abuse her and kick her out of my huise when she came to look for him in my place.I love him now I can't sleep or eat I lost my appitate I don't know what to do?I am very skinny I lost a lot of wait.I can't sleep good at night I take vacation from work for one week I because emotionally sick I cry a lot I through up a lot.so tell me what can I do to get over him?I am 29 no childern I live alone I feel so lonely because he was my best friend that I use to tell every thing.now I don't have no body help me.thank you for taking to read my story

Lisa, you need to get away from this man, he is abusing you. OMG.. why would you love someone like this. Don't you think you deserve better than that, and think more of yourself. Go seek help at the battered women's shelter or go to the proper authorities. Your 29 years old your not a kid. He doesn't respect you and that isn't love. He is physically abusing you and if you went to the police he would be in jail for domestic violence. Get a restraining order!

me and my boy friend been best friends for over 4 years and he was my only best best friend that I share my secrets with.But we start dating about 14 month .things were very good in the beginning but later he start abusing me and hit me several times.

WAKE UP!
Do you call a man who hits you as best friend?? A friend never hurts friends.
You are VERY CONFUSED, because you are lonely & have not eaten & slept enough lately.
Run fast from this abuser, and stay away from this monster for the rest of your life. Start a new life without him, make real friends, and eventually meet a nice guy for your future. He is nothing but abuser! Look how he treats other people. He is the LAST PERSON you want to call as frined or lover.
PLEASE WAKE UP!

Yes-please understand that a person who abuses you is NOT a friend nor a person who loves you.you haven't l o s t your best friend-hopefully you can get rid of one of your worst nightmares. Seek help. For your own sake.

I can see your pain as if he was abusive he was also probably controlling and stopped you from fostering other realthonships with others, but you have to stay away from him . At the moment you think you can't go on without him but being 29 you have years and years to go, you need to start looking for new friends or reconnecting with old friends to help get you through this , siblings as well so that you can prepare yourself to move on and when you do move an find someone new keep your friendships strong as your safety net so you never feel this way again

You should get as far away from this guy as possible. Only a coward hits a woman. You can do WAAAYYYY better! And if you don't mind, post his address on here so I can go rough him up a little bit and teach him some manners :)

you should get as far away from this guy as possible. Only a coward hits a woman. You can do waaayyyy better! And if you don't mind, post his address on here so i can go rough him up a little bit and teach him some manners :)

Lol

Please do as the others have suggested, you need to get away, and get help to heal.

Thank you guys for your advice.But can you tell me where to get a stength to get over him.he is also make me happy when we are together.but some times he hits and he put me down.and also goes to see his child with his ex.But I am afreind if I let him go he will go back to her and she will be very happy that she took him back from me.and he abuse her also I heard him severla times and he hit her too in front of me.I am so broken heart I put myself in so hard situation.I can't stop crying.and his ex tald him she will let him see his child if he go to me.so I don't know if he is with he for his child.he left her when she was pregnant.but now he love his child.but he hate her.he don't even like to mention her name.if he can only stay with I can take his abuse every now and then.I hate been lonely.I don't have good friends.but I am a proftional social worker. Help me I can't work I can't eat I can't sleep.I am misereble. Tell me how to get him back

Find the strength in you never having bruises again. You never having to worry if he is going to hit you for some stupid reason. You never having to deal with being put down. You having a enough respect for yourself to say I can't make myself happy.

OK- I ll not mince my words-you could end up killed.In the UK where I live 2 women are killed by their scumbag partners EVERY WEEK.VIOLENCE and ABUSE escalates.you need to seek help and PRONTO. This man or poor excuse for one should be locked up!Please stop doing this to yourself-leave -run-dont ever see him again.

The problem is you have your mind set on getting him back... you need to keep him as far away from you as possible, part of the healing process though hard is depression sadness and being miserable this might seem odd but do not run from those feelings embrace them and get and cry all your sadness and anger out only then can you truly recover, no one never gets over someone it will happen I suggest reading up on forums books and everything possible to speed up this process,

-also for sleep I suggest herbal sleeping pills which are non-additive I have them called seditol and melotonin I take 2 of each and I'm set , I get no craving or neccesity for them afterwards.
- exercise though hard when depressed will help considerable and when I execute myself when I have a lot to think about you'd be surprised how much you can do, I prefer runs for thinking I'm having a hard time with my girlfriend at the moment and yesterday I amazed myself by running 14 k through a forest all stepply hilled , inculding chest high grass and shallow river jumps though when I got home I felt like I was fainting but I didn't notice the tiredness because I had my mind preocuppied the whole time, trust me try it
- Eat healthy (youd be surprised how much it helps)
- Use momentary escapes such as immersive books or movies

A lot of times on here we say sorry for your loss etc. but that's not the case here.

He is an abuser and they are the worst type of partner to have and it won't stop , you haven't lost anything but it seems to me your just afraid of being alone.

Let this guy go and find some real friends , then you can get on and eventually have a happy life like we all deserve. It's not easy Lisa but in the end you'll see that it's the best in the long run for you.

Good Luck!

Lisa27,
You are still confused, and not getting at all. How can you possibly love someone who hit you multiple times already and will hit you continuously? Are you brain damaged?? (I am really serious)

can you tell me where to get a strength to get over him.
You have strength in you, you have used it for others as social worker, and now it is the time you have to use it for yourself. You need to manage yourself to RUN from this man completely. Move far away from him, start over, and stop all the communications. Disappear from him for the rest of your life. Don't look back. Period. You do not need him to survive.
Right now, please go out, get some fresh air, have a nice meal at any restaurant. Hit the church, talk to nice people with your situation. Reconnect to your old friends. It is doable. Please stop acting like a baby. You are a social worker who helps other people. Right now, you need to help yourself just you did for others. What is your problem now?

he is also make me happy when we are together. But some times he hits and he put me down.
Lisa, Murderers do not kill people 24 hours. They kill sometimes, but we call them murderer, and we put them in jail, because they are dangerous when they are in rage. Same thing goes to abusers. Abusers do not abuse people all the time, but they abuse people when they have urge to abuse other! Nobody knows when, where and how his rage will be triggered and how severely he will abuse you. One thing sure is once he hits you, he will hit you again and gain more severely and more often for any reasons. It is not getting any better, but getting worse.

But I am afraid if I let him go he will go back to her and she will be very happy that she took him back from me.
It is a totally wrong reason you want to keep the abuser in your life. He can go back to anyone he choose to victimize. If his ex keeps the abuser, it will be her problem. You better thank god you are free from him now, and have a good chance to run away. Are you saying you will be jealous if he abuses her not you? Are you out of mind?

but I am a professional social worker.
If you are a social worker, you should seen very similar cases, but you still do not understand your abusive situation. Let's be honest. Do you drink? Do you have any kind of mental illness? Are you taking any medication? I start to wonder our social workers qualification... They should guide people... right?

tell me how to get him back
OMG. You are not getting at all. You should NOT have him back! You SHOULD BE AFRAID him come back to your life again. RUN for your safety!! PLEASE WAKE UP!

Abusers brainwash people into thinking the abuse is their fault.they also manage to work on your selfesteem.this is probably why you can't see this situation for what it is.he s not your friend he s not your lover he s an abuser.he doesn't love you nor anyone else.seek help.Now.

I really want thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for your support.You will not understand how much improvement I made since I read your advice.finally I can say oooofffffffff and start relaxing.I was so blind to see how my situation was to bad.I was just in love with him.I think also not only that I love him but I was addicted to his abuse,he was blaming me for every thing that goes wrong.I was so stressed and confused I was trying to be the best for him,by giving my time and myself after long day work.and he was coming over and just sit with us as a king.I shop and cook and clean and do every thing and look good for him.But after all I was not good enough for him.he make feel I am less than others and not lovable.I felt like no body love me.because I trusted him.I thought he was my best friend for a such a long time.But now thanks God and thanks you guys,I can come home cook for myself and eat good like I use to do before I start dating him.and see the positive things that are in my life and try to take care of myself.But one thing I should tell you guys,when it gets dark or early in the morning I think of him and feel unwanted .and I take my dairy I write all my thoughts that comes on my head.every now and then I get jealous maybe he is with some one else even though I know he is going to abuse them.I guess I couldn't get over a man I thought he was.I forget to tell you guys couple days ago he call me every day for 3 days and I didn't showed him that I missed him I was talking with happily over something else like nothing happens between us.he said to me wow you are happy what is going on.and I did not reply and we just say bye and hung up the phone.after that he didn't call and I am not planing to call ever again.If u please guys be there for me when I am down.your advice gave me a lot strength.
One thing that make may situation worse is that I am in a foreign country which are very few people from my country and he is one of them.
Thank you guys what more can I do to forget him more and not thinking about him at all.
Thank you very much for taking to time to read my misery and reply

I'm glad we've helped.just stay away from this man.see the friends you have-make new friends and heal.you need to see that you re not in the wrong here-you were in a relationship with an abuser-never speak to him again is my advice. All the best to you and take care.

This is me again lisa the broken hearted.I thought I was over him.but it is not true.it a weekend and I try to make myself busy and stop thinkng about him.But he is constantly on my mind.he been calling from Tuesday till frida 2 3 times a day we where talinking noramal (out of the reltionship)like nothing happen between us.and then On Friday I sew him passing through and he peep peep his car and I sew hem and he waved his hands and I did the same.what it hurt me is I sew his chiar behind back sit.then remind me that he is still seen his baby mama.even though in several times he confess to the he regreat he has a child with her.and he hate her he can not even communicate with her more than 2hours.But he said he love his child.and the baby mama also has a child with onther man who is not with her and he don't want be part of his child.now my problem is I am very jelouse and angry that he left me.I don't know if he is sleeping with her but I know for sure he every day going to see his child.I am sorry guys maybe I sound stupid.the reson I bokeup with him is.one day we have a little argument and he did talk one Sunday.because we are all ways together.and then the day after I called him and he answer me and he said call me later.But he did not call.and I call him over and over and this baby mama answer his moblie and called names and I was very agry and upset.and I left a lot of angry messages on the mobile for her to hear.but later on he called he said I dontknow that she answers my mobile phone.he came over to me and took me for a drink and I was devastated that she answers his mobli.but any way we home and we spend night together. I couldn't sleep at night.but what I did is I call so eary with my boy friends moblie and she answer the phone and I called names and I proved her that he sleeps with me.after he went to his place I tald what I did and he was very angry.if you care about me you wouldn't do that.few day later he broke up with me.and he tald me he wants to raice his child good.but he is not leaving for her.and she is not a good mother that's why I want see him all the time.if you are with me thing gets harder.my qustion am I selfesh when she answers me his phone and call name it is OK?when I took his phone and call her name is not OK and I am dumped for that.so can you guys help me.I love this man I know he abuse and abuse her too.but more than I lose him,I am angry that I lose him to her and her child. Answer me what is my problem I am very confused.some time I think I am over him the next time when I think abut the baby mama I get emotionall.I don't what is worng with me help

Lisa-let me remind you-this guy s an abuser.stay away from him.dont fall into yet another trap of taking him back.read all our previous posts.he s a bomb waiting to go off.see sense and leave this alone.

amicon,I am really thank you for all advice and support you guys are giving me.But tell me why is that I am feelling in some way I am responsple for the breakup.and feeling I am not good enough.if that abuser who I take good of and give my time shower him with love left me for his baby mama I believe then who will be with me?I don't know what is worng with maybe I am getting mentally ill. Tell why it going on with me.thank you

Abusers work at taking away your selfesteem and sense of normality.you re not at fault HE did this to you.I suggest you try to find a good therapist who can work with you to help you rebuild yourself.you re a good person who unfortunately met the boyfriend from hell.its time to move on and take care of you now.

Lisa, don't you think more of yourself than that. First of all to put yourself in danger, with an abuser. He is doing the same thing he did to you as he is probably doing to this new girl. You just don't see it. Why are you talking to him, don't you think more of yourself to put yourself out there with a man like this. Life isn't just having a man, you have to put yourself first... think more of you. You deserve better. You keep on going back, and down the road the consequences you will face with this man, aren't going to be good. Run, away from him, why are you allowing this.

Lisa, I am going to be more blunt than any one on here has seen me. So, get ready to get on your high-horse because I know that's what you are about to do. However, please think before you respond.

You are responsible.
You are responsible for standing up for yourself and your well-being.
You are responsible for making sure that he never hits you again.
You are responsible for moving away from an abusive situation.
You are responsible for not making a police complaint when he abused you.
You are responsible for stalking him and his whatever she is besides "baby momma".
You are responsible for your own actions.
You are responsible for getting a life that doesn't include this individual.
You are responsible for getting a new support system that doesn't include him.
You are responsible for finding a support group for abused women and getting more help than I think we can give.
You are responsible for listening and actually putting the great advice that you have been given here into practice.

You are doing everything in your power to keep this person who doesn't want you. He wants a target. If she wants to be that target, I feel sorry for their kid. Be glad you don't have one that would see daddy beating up mommy.

He isn't your life as you seem to want him to be even now. Sometimes, you have to move on even from "best friends". Though, if you knew about the abuse before you got into a relationship with him. You need to rethink what you believe a "good" relationship is.

What does this guy have that you can't find anywhere else? Other men can be good lovers and listeners and they don't use their fists. Other men can be good fathers. This one isn't.

PLEASE FIND A SUPPORT GROUP FOR BATTERED WOMEN IN YOUR AREA!!! They have seen it all. Even what you are going through. Let them help you rebuild the self-esteem that this person took away from you.

If you let him back in your house, Lisa, which CSI show do you want to be the inspiration for?

Either you will be dead or he will.

It's that simple. It may take longer to happen than to write, but it's that simple.

I don't what to say guys any more,I don't know if I am emotionlly sick or just low self steem as you guys said.I hope you will not be angry of I am going to tell you.this weekend I was so sad and I close my mobile phone and I did not fill like talking to any body.youwhat happen he was calling my mobile phone and when he couldn't talk to me,he come home and he ring the bel several times but I did not open him.and I am very proud of me I did not open him.But I am very happy that he keep calling me and finally in door step.I know I sound stupid but I am happy that he realize he lose some one in his life.Thank you guys can you comment about I am feeling happy when I know he is abuser

It will be easier to refuse him next time. You did well.

Please be strong Lisa, like your doing. WE all wouldn't be telling you the same thing, if we thought he was a good person for you. If you want to live a normal life stay away from this man. As we all told you he will hurt you or you will be dead. Do you have family nearby, you can go too, or move away so he doesn't know where you will go to?

Lisa, It isn't going to be easy. It will take time. Each time that you don't answer his phone call or the door, you get stronger. Each time you look in the mirror and there are no bruises, you get stronger.

I don't think you are mentally ill. I do think you need the support of other women who have been in the same place you are now.

It always seems harder for women who know they should have been smarter in the first place, but there is no shame in admitting that you need help. You did that here. Time to take the next step.

I am v.confused and angry at myself.for the whole week he keep calling me and sms 4 to 5 times a day and he wants to come over.I was making excuses to let him not to come over.but to day he was waitting near my apartment and he says Hello,and he just inter with me I couldn't tell him no.then he was pretending like been so friendly and talking with me normal.what I believe is like he has a problem with his baby mama.and he keep asking me who I am dating and exc.But he did not tell me he wants to get back with me.he just spent the whole evening with me.and when he left I was very angry.idont know what happen to me.I called him how bad he hurt me and I still feel hur from him.and he was just saying OK OK and that even make me more heart broken.I feel sorry that I let him in.now I am more angry because now he know I am not over him.I am sorry I should be lesen for your advice.but my heart goes wild for this abusive guy.what is my problem. Do you have any more advice?

DO NOT PICK UP THE PHONE.

It doesn't matter how many times he sms you or call you. Just don't give him any attention. If you give him attention, he will get some false hope. Just pretend he doesn't exist. If you ignore him long enough, he will stop. Just stay strong.

If you are getting scared, then contact the police and get a restraining order against him. If he shows up at your door and just stands there all day, then just call the police and catch him in the act.

Just don't respond to him whatsoever. I know it's tough, but you got to stay strong. You can do this. We all support you!

Don't be angry with yourself. A little backsliding is to expected. This isn't easy. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you will move forward.

It doesn't matter what he knows or thinks he knows. What matters is that you know you can move on without him.

Have you read the stickies about NC at the top of this forum? They may give you some ideas on how to handle next times and what ifs.

Hi Guys thank you thank you for asking about my situation.wel I think I am doing a lot of beter than before.but I still miss the good side of him and I am miss when he is in good mood talkig to me nice and lovnig me .But when I think he his abuse and the way he treat me at times I feel happy that I am not longer with him.but he keep contacting me and that makes hardon me to completely forget him and get over him.sorry now he is on my door.I will let you know what happen

I thought you d decided to stay away from this guy? Are you actually letting him in your house? Not a good idea.

Hi Amicon,u know he is here with me write now while I am writing to u.It is funny he is all that sweet to me like nothing happened between us.I feellike something die inside me I don't even want look at his face.I have a lot of anger to words him.how could he destroy my trust and my love and friendship this way?now I am having a problem trusting any body.

Just remember this man s abused you.
Please reread the advice you ve been given.

I know he is an abuser and he abused a lot.because of him I suffered and I went through depression and low self esteem.But it just so hard to let go of something that was so special to.thats way I keep going back when he contact me.yesterday he was really want be close to me.but I made myself strong and I did not give him a chance.I am really moving on I am much better of with out him.I start seeing good friends and talking to men.But I keep going back because,I gave a lot in this relationship right from the beginning I gave my trust,love and time.and ended up losing myself.but I am getting myself back one day at time.and thanks for your help.with out you I will never make it to this stage.thanks from my heart.finally I see myself smiling a lot without him:eek::)

He will keep coming back as long as you let him , remember he is an abuser and is now also using manipulation to try and get back.

Don't trust him , him being nice is all a huge act.

Keep strong like your doing and just come back here and vent when you need to , we're all behind you.

Lisa, you have to take the bulls by its horn, and walk away. Please! No more excuses! He is manipulating you, and your allowing it. Put a stop to it, before its too late. Get your self-esteem back, seek support groups, anything that will put you in a better frame of mind.

Thanku Guys for your advice.what I realize is more he contact me more I feel miserble and think of him.but if ignore him by not answering his call then I feel lonely but not miserble.even though so hard to just let go of relationship of 5 years and love and trust that I add the past years.I am slowly getting where I want be with out him.even though my emotions are up and down.I know that one day I will completely OK.with help of God and you guys.thanks again. Don't get tired of my problems.I need your support.thanky again

Just let this go-be strong and ignore him. You deserve a life not this continued drama.

Hi Guys,I am back with much more pain.I can't stop crying and hurtting myself.because I was talking to my ex and he was talking to me nicely and I had a hope that will be together again.but he closed his phone last Friday and he did this Friday again.Now I felt all over again broken heart.I feel like he with his baby mama or with some other girl.I am so angry he is moved on I am still in the same sircle suffering broken heart.I know he is abusive but we had a lot of love together.some time I feel guily maybe I push him too hard becasei of his baby mama.I can't stop crying.and last night I dream about he is with his ex sitting.and when I called him in the morning he close his phone.I am so miserble what can I do.I try so hard to get over him but it is just so hard.I get back to my sad emtions again.please help me before it is too late.

Im going to be harsh here. You must know that this guy's a no good waste of time and space. Instead of going complete NC on him you've stayed in touch and let him play with your head and heart Don't keep doing this to yourself. Only you can find the strength, the courage and the guts to get him out of your life for good-never mind how many babymamas he hangs around with. Find your selfrespect and stay well away from him. Good luck.

What are you doing Lisa? Come on, don't you have more respect for yourself? Is this what gives you happiness? (ABUSE) You want this man? IS this what life is about, having a wonderful boyfriend who showers you with abuse and heartacher over and over again? You need to talk to therapist and fast? You are heading down a very dangerous road!

Please don't give up on me.your advice give me a lot of hope.it is strange the one who heart me and make me miserble,he is the one who make me feel beter.he called me and we talk and he blamed me for every thing that goes wrong in our relationship.he said I became aggressive and angry man because of you.I keep bringing his baby mama all the time and he said I hate her and you keep remind me by her all the time.I don't know now if I am to blame in the situation.But the thing is when I talk with him I feel beter and I stop crying.am I so much in love with him or what is all about?I cry so hard and stop doing every thing just sit and cry,when I talk with him I feel beter.can you guys say something don't ignor me because I am confused.what can I do to let him go complitly and stay strong or get him back and be happy and some times sad guys I tald you my situation from the beginning.help me what is the best for me.been away from him is hurtting a lot

You re going around in circles again.
I wish you d give yourself a chance to be free from this obsession.
He 's abusive-he 's a liar and a cheat.
We all want you to have a happy life but you ve got to make your mind up yourself-stay miserable for a long time or let this go-as of yesterday.

Lisa we have all tried to help you but you keep on going back to the same situation. It frustrates us because your not listening. Your making excuses for the man who is abusive. Do you not think that much of yourself to even stay in a situation that is abusive and cursed from day one. Come on, I would think you know right from wrong. Find someone who worships the floor you walk on and treat you like a queen, not a doormat.

Lisa, it is never too late to tell that sorry excuse for a human being to hit the road.

You are not to blame because he doesn't know how to be a mature individual and communicate effectively with women. You can be part of teaching him how to learn by going FULL No Contact and letting him beat his own head against a brick wall (metaphorically speaking). No MySpace, no Facebook, no calls (cell, land line, other person's, computer), no email, no snail mail, no smoke signals, no messages in a bottle, etc.

I know you have the ability to be strong and stand up for yourself. You came here. You asked for help. Weak-willed people don't do that. You need to hold up a mental mirror and see all the wonderful qualities that you have inside that make you unique and a great person. I know the woman who existed before this individual came along is still there just waiting for you to let her shut off all communications with him and to help you rebuild your self-respect and esteem.

Take back your life. Let yourself tell him that you will no longer have anything to do with him or his drama. Give yourself time and resources to rebuild yourself stronger and better. It isn't easy. You already know that.

When you think about him change the thought. Take charge of your dreams. When you realize you are dreaming, shove him out the door. Let in someone new who wants you not a punching bag (mentally, emotionally, or physically.)

Remember to keep yourself occupied mentally and physically. Have you tried new hobbies that you might have to take a community class to learn? Get involved in volunteer work. Relearn how to enjoy life.

Hi Guys I am sorry I make you frustreated you with my situation.I have read your advice over and over again.it is all help ful.but what I really want know is how to get over him? Tell me?I want fallew your advice step by step.what is the first thing I need to do?what I been thinking why I am suffering this much over this,I think not because I am so much in love with him or he was my best friend.no I think because I don't want leave him in peace with his baby mama.even though I know he is only going there for his child.still I don't want be a loser in the situation.ppl use to talk he left her for me now I don't want them to talk he left me for her.I am really sorry it sound sick and physics.but I really hate this woman and I don't want to her to feel she is a winner. This is what I really feel.so what can I do to get over all this weared situation what can I do to just forget about her?because it talking the best of me. Help me to get over my anger over this woman

This might be where you allow yourself to stay stuck.
This woman or any other woman in the ex's life shouldn't matter to you.
You however matter, your health your safety and your happiness.
Stop all contact with him and I mean ALL contact.

If you want to keep suffering, we won't stop you. If you keep talking to him, you're going to continuously reset all the progress you make to the point that you're not even making any progress anymore.

You can't heal if you keep in touch, because you will over-analyze all the little details and have false hope, which is very unhealthy behavior.

Until you go 100% no contact, you're just going to prolong the mysery.

Try reading these stickies concerning no contact:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-332732.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/fighting-urges-break-nc-rules-351302.html

Once you've recovered from this break up, you will be in a better position to approach the situation. But you should allow yourself to heal first.

Thanku Guys for all advice.I will try no contact with him.but why I am so much angry over the baby mama?even though he will abuse her more than he abuse me.because I know he hets her.it strange if he is with onther woman maybe I will not that angry.but if he is going to see his child to baby mama then when I really get sick.I think it is not about his love any more it is about her.so what can I do again to get out of my mind.

Once you allow yourself to heal properly from this disaster of a relationship you ll find that this woman s not important in your life.

Thank I will do by your advice.I will not allow him to contact me and I will never contact him.from this day.But if I am getting week and get back for help don't get tired of me.But my last qustion to you,who are guys?I don't know you but you are giving me a lot of emotionl help.now I feel like iknow you and I can depend on you as a good friend.Thankyou for every thing.you guys are the best thing interenet ever provided for me

You re more than welcome-stay strong-stick to your decision. We re for you when you need to vent.
All the best and good luck

Lisa
Just want to enforce what everyone else on this thread has been telling you and that is the ONLY way your going to get over this is complete No Contact , if you had of listened to this advice when you first came here 2 months ago you would have already been in a much better place and started the healing process.

By contacting him you have stayed stuck in the one spot and not moved on , there is no magic wand that makes you get over someone , its hard for everyone and we can only advice you on how to go about it , we can't do it for you and that is complete No Contact , now its up to you to action it.

Good luck and just come back and vent when you feel like contacting him , we're all more than happy to listen.

Hi guys I am trying to use every advice you gave me.But it is very hard.I been on NC for two weeks,I reject him from my mobile.but he called me at work two times in in this two weeks.No it is about a week he didn't call me.and I am so miserble I can't stop crying.I don't know when this pain is going to end because it getting worse every day.I miss him and I miss his freindship and the love we had.now now is about christmas and new year time.how I am going to spent those days with out him.what can I do can I stay friend with him?because he wants me to be just friend with him.losing all together hard for me.is NC really works and how long does it take?but the thing I still want him to be in m life.he was my best friend before every thing else. Help me.I am I going to be OK?after losing a such love of my life and best friend in time?

NC is for you to heal from the break up. Once you've healed, you will be in a better position to consider a friendship.

The pain might get worse, but once it reaches its maximum point, it will only get easier from there. 2 weeks is not long at all. It's actually still the beginning. I'm sorry to say, but there's no magic potion. Time is the only cure. Give yourself more time to heal.

If you start talking again now, you're just going to reset all the progress you've made these past 2 weeks. That would drag out the pain even longer.

There's no timeline on how long it takes to heal. It all depends on every individual person.

Don't even think about a friendship now. If you were meant to be friends, you can easily pick up your friendship from where it left off once you've completely healed.

Lisa, there is no set schedule for NC. It is different for each individual.

The holidays are going to be extremely hard, but you can make it through them. Are you keeping in touch with other friends and/or making new ones? Try doing something different than you traditionally do. Don't let yourself hide away.

What resources are you giving yourself to help you move on and heal? Are you keeping yourself busy mentally and physically?

If you think NC is hard, think of how miserable you would be thinking your okay with being friends and hoping you will get back together.

One thing you have completely forgotten about,
.
things were very good in the beginning but later he start abusing me and hit me several times.now I am hurting because I lost my best friend at the same time my boy friend that I really love
This is not love on his part, nor is it love on your part. Its unhealthy to be abused and still overlook it for so called "LOVE"! Then there is this.


I don't want forgot to mention he has a child with other woman.But he really hate a woman and abuse her and kick her out of my house when she came to look for him in my place

If he abuses his baby's mama, AND YOU he is not a person worthy of love as he will beat you both again, given the chance.

When you miss this "love" of yours, think of those facts and be glad your not getting you butt whooped again by him. Best friends and lovers don't abuse their partners.

Stay with NC, for the sake of your own a$$!!

Stay away from that relationship. Stand up and see what is real! Don't walk, RUN in the opposite direction from him!

You are NOT the bad person - he is. It is NOT your fault. You did NOT fail the relationship. You have a lot to offer to the world. The hardest thing to do is to realize and admit that you need to stay away from him. Abuse makes you feel weakened, frail and very fragile.

There are support groups available to attend and hotlines to offer support - chek out your local telephone book. Yes, it is frightening to think of walking away from him and starting a new life. I won't say that it isn't. I will say, however, that it is necessary. Lean on family and friends and let them help you through it. Keep reminding yourself that you are a good person!!! Learn to love yourself. Learn to like who you are. You are unique.

Give yourself a chance at a peaceful life. Hang in there!

------------------------------------------------


Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong;
sometimes it's letting go.

Guys I am really losing my mind.I am getting weaker and wearker.a girl I know called to tell me she sow my ex and his baby mama where together in the shopping center with there baby.I was so devastated I can't believed he is shopping with her.he convenced me that he will never with her and he hate her.how come he is shopping with her in the weekend?I cried hard and called him why he lied to me about her.and he answer me in very aggressive way to tell me,she has my child and I will not leave my child.and he hangup the phone on me.and I am so depressed I did not sleep the whole night long.I cried a river for my sad self.I don't know how I am going to be to strong over this situation.I hate his baby mama,I hate to lose him for her.I can not emagin seen them together.how can I make myself accept they have something speacial(child)together.I don't kow if I can go on like this.I have a lot of anger.after 2 hours I supposed to go to work.But I can't my mind is dying.NC is not working for me.I want him back.what can do to have this man in my life.. I know I said a lot about been abused by hem.But trust me I rather be with him than I live with feeling I have. Help I am trying my best but it is not working.and most kills me the jelouse over his baby mama.because she was my worst enemy and if he leaves me for her,then I will die 100 times. Get me back to my mind.thank you

Adding to that I will not be so depressed if he is leaving me for onther girl.but if he left me to be with his baby mama,I think I rather die than living.knowing that she won him back for me.I hate this woman and she feels the same about me

This going to be harsh.

Stop the self-pity party. Dry the tears and hold your head up high. Don't let him get away with convincing you to hurt yourself for him. He isn't worth the ground under the septic tank.

NC isn't working because you won't allow it to. You keep taking his phone calls and having friends update you on what he is doing. That will just keep you in pain and hurting yourself. By the way, your last post sounds a lot like you have not been even trying to keep NC going.

He lied to you. No surprise. He was shopping with his child and the child's mother. No surprise. You confronted him and he reacted negatively. No surprise.

You need to get up and find a counselor in your area. You need someone to look you in the eyes and tell you straight to your face that trying to get him back is one of the stupidest moves you could ever contemplate in your life. You need that person to tell you that you are a billion times better off without that abuser in your life.

Wake up and realize it isn't him you want. It is to get back at her. You don't win anything if you get him back other than more abuse. Is that what you really want?

Lisa,stop making hatred for another person your life. I don't know how many of us here have told you the same things,he's an abuser,a cheat,a liar etc. You should go complete NC and stay that way forever.
What he does or who he's with shouldn't matter.
I too advice you to seek counselling,you need to get some perspetive on this. You need to heal and get your life back.
Take care.

I know what to say any more the pain is more than can explain.here I am sit at home and not going to work.sorry I can't say nothingi feel like throwing up.sorry

Seek help now,don't allow yourself to suffer any longer..

Sadly there not a such thing called counselor in my area.But every thing CAT1860 said about me not needing him back but getting back at the babay mama.. like I want revange.and make her hurt. That I believe is true.what I don't know what devel inter in my heart?all think of is her been with him.is killing me.I know it stupid to love some abuser but I can't help my heart goes wild for him.but if I try hard I can get over him.because also a lot of bad things about and that make can strong.But the craziest thing I don't want let go of him is because of her.I don't want her to live happly ever after with the man I love and fought over him with her. Don't know what kind of mental sickness I have.

Guys don't get tired of me.I don't have counslor to go to.all have is you. Help me with all my thinking.thank u

Harshness Alert

Your sickness is you have been abused and need help and guidance to escape your abuser. Is their a battered womans shelter for you to go and get some much needed help? Maybe a religious leader to counsel and guide you? Find out now and get help because loving a guy who kicks your a$$ is seriously crazy.

Hating his other victim is seriously crazy also, because you, of all people, know her life will never be happy ever after, because she will get her a$$ kicked again, and again.

Whats so happy about that? You can't seriously be mad at her for getting her a$$ kicked, instead of you can you? That would be sick. Get some help now!!

Talaniman,I swear you make sense.deep in my heart I know she never happy with him.I know he is going abuse her.but maybe if she gave him onther child he will calm down maye fall in love with her?and that will drive me carzy even more. Help me I don't know what I am thinking

Your next post better be about what you are going to do for yourself to get beyond this issue. Whining about her is no help to you. Stop doing this to yourself!

Hi Guys,every time I try NC my heart feels more pain,I can't imagine seen his number not answering or calling him to know what he is doing... because he keep tell me he want to be friend.we meet 2 days a go,he swears to me that he is not with his baby mama and he hate her but the reson is not with me is because every time she find out I am with you she punsh me for not seen my child and that gave me a lot of stress and he said she is a bad mother that's why I want cheak on my child every time.because her other child from onther guy is very slow and not active.because of her he is like that he says.thats why he said he want cheak on his child every time.if she was agood mother I will no worry that much for a child.but she is not that why I have to see him every time and if I am with you she will not allow me to see him.and I want go to court for that because they will give cuple day a week to see him.but only brings more problems he said.
Guys the reson I telling all this is because he want to be friend with me.can I do that?been friends with can make him in a way be in my life.may be one day I can get him back.dont surprise if I am saying stupid theing.yes he abusive and he is gentle.he is two in one.and no body is perfect.I don't know what you guys think. Help me NC is very hard to start with.Thankyou so much.

Stopping contact, and leaving him alone, is hard and very difficult. Its supposed to be because you are very sick, and need to heal.

He has to get his act together also, and learn to deal with his issues, but he never will as long as you are still there. So you all lose, big time unless you can be strong so you all can survive and be healthy. That includes the children, so go through this difficult thing, and tell him to leave you alone, that's what you need to do. Bear the pain to do the right thing, or be miserable forever.

Lisa,reread your entire thread and try to take in the advice you've been given. Try to let it sink in. Try to face facts.

Hi guys I really thank you v.much for all the time you take to advice me,But one thing I want understand is why can we be friends?I been friend with him more than 4 years.we can be very good friends.he start abusing me when we start dating.like I said he is two in one he can be too abusive and very gentel at time.so why can't I keep his freindship?if I am losing him as aboy friend.that way I will not feel the lose of some I love.

There's NO magic wand that's going to turn this man into a good friend.
It doesn't matter if he's got two or a hundred different personalities, the way for YOU to find peace,balance and happiness in YOUR life is to cut ALL contact with this person ,seek counselling whether from a therapist or from your local pastor or religious leader and allow yourself to heal and move forward with your life instead of letting yourself slowly waste away pining for a man who's not in ANY way an asset in your life.

hi guys i really thank you v.much for all the time u take to advice me,But one thing i want understand is why can we be freinds?i been freind with him more than 4 years.we can be very good freinds.he start abusing me when we start dating.like i said he is two in one he can be too abusive and very gentel at time.so why can't i keep his freindship?if i am losing him as aboy freind.that way i will not feel the lose of some i love.

Heal from the break up first, before you think about all these questions.

You're in emotional turmoil now. Allow the emotional dust to settle, so that you will be more objective about the situation.

Constantly thinking about these types of questions will only make you go in circles and prolong your pain and misery.

Focus on attention onto something else that is more positive. Go out and have fun with friends, go see a movie, etc.

Lisa, from what you have written, you are incapable of being just friends with him. You want to use friendship as a way to hold on to him and 'win' some part of him.

You are acting like an addict with this man and the drama that he causes. You need to let him go and get 'clean' from any influence this man has in your life. You are going to be stuck in the same place, wanting the same thing, and not giving yourself or anyone else a chance as long as this abuser is in your life.

He has lied to you. He probably is lying to you. He will lie to you. I would almost bet that if you and the mother got over being at each other's throats and sat down to have a civil conversation, you would both discover how much he has been playing you against each other.

Take off the blinders, throw away the rose-colored glasses, get out of the ivory tower and face reality. He is not Prince Charming or Mr. Right. He is a liar and an abuser and probably a cheater.

You cannot be friends because you are weak for him, and will fall for his lies, and abuse, as you have done already, but it will get worse this time.

That's why you can't be friends, and you will always hope he gets better, and takes you back.

That's why you can't be friends. You still cannot see the real danger, and harm, he does you, and his baby mama, Neither of you can, as its just not logical, rational, or healthy, to want someone who kicks your a$$ when he changes from gentle guy, to abusive guy. Get this through your head as with friends like this, who needs enemies.

You can whine, and beg all you want, and I hate to be harsh, but this whole situation is very unhealthy, and things cannot go back to the way it was.

Did you ever think he says the same thing to his baby momma to keep control of her too? Well he does, because that's what abusers do, suck you in with the gentle side, and still beat your a$$, when he wants to, then he says sorry I will change, so you get sucked back in AGAIN.

Stop this madness, and insanity.

.guys your words feels like cold iced shower.the truth hurts.but where I am going to start to get over all this un imaginble pain I am sufferng since the broke up.I can't hve him as boyfriend,I can't have him just friend and can't have at all in my life.this is the man I tried so hard to keep and fought for over for him.if he can not be in my life I guess I will say good bye to happiness.I don't know I am lost complitly

You're only lost because you haven't thought up a plan of action to replace his false love, false happiness, and false friendship, with the real thing. Start with family, and friends, and activities that you enjoy, and work from there.

I can't believe he is the only person you are close to in your life. If he is, then thats your problem, and it needs to change.


We have all been telling you this through out this posting, but you have chosen to sit and feel so sorry for yourself, instead of listening, and trying. That's your fault. As well as the misery and pain.

What are you afraid to work for your own happiness? Sorry, no sympathy for you if that's the case.

Once again, stop the self-pity party.

You are making a choice to hold on to the pain and hurt as a way of holding on to him. Make the choice to let him, his abuse, his drama, etc. go. He can't make you happy. He isn't making you happy. Just wanting to be with him is making you miserable and depressed.

Show me where there is 'happiness' in being used as a punching bag or door mat.

You and you alone are responsible for your own happiness,you can make a choice,right now, to start moving forward, to build a good life for yourself and to end this misery.
Most of us here have gone through breakups, we've cried, lost our appetite and sleep mourning relationships that went wrong, and we've got back on our feet again and found happiness and have matured through the experience.
You too can do this.

I understand all your advice and it is true.the problem is to go in action.But one thing TALANIMAN said is you can whine and beg all you want.but things can not go back to the way it was.what you mean buy that?can you explaind to me.what you were thinkig when you said that.before I decide to move on I want know every things.thank you ALL .if you have any idea why TALANIMAN said so give me your idea.thank you so much for every thing don't live on the cold alone stik with until I heall.I need you to clear my soul for all problem I have because of this situation

TALANIMAN said is you can whine and beg all you want.but things can not go back to the way it was.what you mean buy that?

Leave the past alone, and stop making excuses why your so miserable, and hurt, and embrace a better future for yourself. Got it?

I understand all your advice and it is true.the problem is to go in action.But one thing TALANIMAN said is you can whine and beg all you want.but things can not go back to the way it was.what you mean buy that?can you explaind to me.what you were thinkig when you said that.before i decide to move on i want know every things.thank you ALL .if you have any idea why TALANIMAN said so give me your idea.thank you so much for every thing dont live on the cold alone stik with untill i heall.i need you to clear my soul for all problem i have because of this situation

You already know everything. You know that he abused you. You know that he lied. You know that he charmed you just long enough to get in your bed. You know that he made you miserable. You know that he has hurt you emotionally. You know ALL the reasons to move on.

You need to get over the idea that anyone can make your life easier for you. WE can't. We can't make the decision to move on for you. We can't make the pain go away. We can't make the pain hurt any less. We can't make you stronger. We can't 'clear my soul' of anything. Only you can. Only you can take responsibility for your life and your well-being.

All we can do is be here to give you support for your decisions and advice on what works for self-healing. All we can do is let you know that you aren't alone and that there is hope for the future.

You are the one who has to look into what resources are available to give you help where you live. Counseling, battered women's shelters, clergy, therapy, support groups, etc. are places to start. BUT you have to want to start. Until you make that decision and take that step, we are just keeping you company while you run on the treadmill. We might as well be the radio or TV.

Thank you guys,what else can I say.I am not getting any support to talk my ex.you all agree for me to go to NC.I guess I will fallow the advice and start NC.But it is so hard I will try again starting from now till manday.But it is so hard it feels the end of the world.:confused:

Lisa,you start today and you don't stop-ever. You stay NC FOREVER and heal.

But it is so hard I will try again starting from now till Monday.But it is so hard it feels the end of the world.:confused:

That's what we all feel at first, but we do get on to better things.

My god how I am going to be strong when I can't stop thinking about him.I just called him severl times until he gets mad and stop answering me.I am dying.I am cring so hard with no one to hear me.o my god what have done wrong to suffer like this.I didn't eat nothing for the last 2 days and I did not go to work for 3 days.I am suffering because of this man.I don't want to end my life I am too yong to die.but I am suffering I can't take it any more.I try every thing I fail.why I have to feel this way?like he is the only person on the world.for me he is.my goodness it a weekend I am all alone.with all this sad sad feelng.what else left for me?I try all your advice.nothing but

Go see your doctor Lisa, your way over the line. You need more than advice.

You need to see your doctor asap. Which country are you in? Call the Samaritans or Befrienders. Do this now.

:):):)
Hi Guys,I am back with a big smile on my face.it been a long time since I visit this page.I am here today strong than ever before.I hope with help of and you guys I will continue. And I believe there no way back to that situation.things get bad before it gets better.the last day I felt like I was relly going to lose my mind for that abuser.I hate myself and felt unloveble.and I was going also to lose my job for him.I did not go to work almost 2 weeks and I finally decided to go to see specialist.and he gave me medication anti deprassiton.just at that moment I realize how far I am going to destroy myself by taking the medication and I asked myself what the hell am I doing?I am the who help people not to depend on medication and here I am planing to take it.wow wow stop lisa you deseve better than this.u did not lose nothing but one abuser who put me in this situation.and I found some how stength in me and I did not even buy the medication.and I decided for the first time a real N.C I delete alll his connetions.and I stop answering his calls.I have done almost for 3 weeks and helps a lot.but it drive him crazy.he keep calling and asking a friend about me.even I block some of our friend.so that I don't have to hear any thing abut him any more.now thanks God I am living a normal.all it takes is to decide not to want him. And also time is the healer at the same time.now I am not here to be all that strong .you guys know how I felt from the beging.now the advice you me about N.C is great.you we are deuring and christmas and new year.I was thinking a month ago how I am going to spend this days with out him.But now I don't even give $#@& a but him.I already plan my to spend my newyears eve with friend and family in onther country .now I left the pain for him.he regret for he put me through and he keep calling but no reply.and thanku guys for your great advice.now what I have learn about myself is that I can be so weak when it come to love but I have so much strength to get out of it after all that sad and lonely depressed life.and I am with help God I will continue.

That's great news keep being the strong woman you are. Your news made my day. I wish you all the best for the holiday season and A HAPPY 2010.
<cyberhugs>

:)
The same to you my dear amicon.it is because of you and the people in this site who gave time and advice.there is no way to thank you enough by words.wish you all the best 2010 and years to come.for sure I will keep in contact I will advice people who are going through the breakups.like you guys did with me.love you all and a big hug and kiss:)

:)
The same to u my dear amicon.it is because of u and the ppl in this site who gave time and advice.there is no way to thank u enough by words.wish u all the best 2010 and years to come.for sure i will keep in contact i will advice ppl who are going through the breakups.like you guys did with me.love u all and a big hug and kiss:)

Lisa, welcome back to living. :)

I am so glad to read your update and that you are getting yourself back. May you have a great Holiday season and a wonderful time bringing in 2010. :)

Thanku my dear cat1864 you are great advicer.here I am smilling.by the way I like your dog:) merry chirstmas and happy new year.

Wow, I am so impressed, and thrilled, that you found the right path to happiness.

I love Happy endings and it certainly gives me a personal buzz to know that the time we take to try and help people comes to fruition in the end , makes it all worthwhile.

Great news Lisa and I hope you have a great Christmas and your New Year brings a lot more happy times ahead :)

:)
Hi talaniman and friend 4u178 thank you for investing your time to read my misery and giving me a great advice.I know you all happy for me to shut that abuser out of my life.thats why I have to come back here to tell you all and the people in site thanku for all that great advice.have a happy christmas and new year 2010:)

Hi Guys,it been a long time since I log on here.as you guys now I was op N.C almost 3 month.my ex he keep contacting me calling sms, e.mail.but iwas refused to reply and I felt like he is not the one who is abused me but I am the one who abusing him because he want to be a friend and I completely ignor him.and also as much he keep contacting me now like I feel I miss him want see him or lessen to him for what he has to say. Guys can you help me?I don't know what to do.why he is coming back sevral times I gnore him but he don't want give up.and I forget to mention.over a month I chat with him on the internet and he ended up getting angry and he did not contact me for 2 weeks.because of accused him by saying that he still see his baby mama.and he gets mad. He says no it is not true and he was very angry.he said you never stop talking about her and you never trust me.and I hate to talk about he say and he was so mad. But he called me back again after 2 weeks .I don't know what to do.I have love for him because he was also my best friend.I also have anger.what can I do help me.I want keep as a friend but I don't want hurt myself again. And I don't want lose him forever.thank you guys for all the help you been giving me.now I need to show me the way to move for word.

Well he is still getting angry with you so he would just most likely still abuse you
Stay away , he hasn't changed

Hi dynocompe,thanks for the advice.but the reson he is angry is because he hate to speak about his baby mama.I know he hates her.but I all ways talk about her because he share a child with her.I am jelouse of that.

Hello Lisa-you know what we're going to say-AVOID him.
Don't go back to square one or two by letting him get to you again.
You should not even consider keeping him as a friend.
Do yourself a favour and go back to NC proper.

Use your head,not your heart,your head knows he is a complete waste of time and space.

Don't make excuses for his actions! Move on. That is what women who get abused always do. They think it's there fault and make excuses for the Monsters actions. They lead them to believe it's there fault they get so mad. Don't get brainwashed. Move on.
I heard there is lots of people still single out there, that are better than you have ever dated!

It's really quite simple , you contacted him and the drama's begin again :rolleyes:

Don't contact him , and if he tries to contact you ignore it , he'll soon get the message.

Life's too short to be living with all this drama in your life and your promoting it by letting him back in with the contact.

Lisa, not talking to him is not abuse. His continuing to try to contact you after you have made it clear you don't want his attention is. It is a way to control you and get what he wants.

You are stronger than the person who was in the relationship with him. You are a lot stronger than you were when you first came here. You know you can go No Contact and keep it.

DON'T allow him to coerce you into another abusive relationship with him.

Good luck, Lisa.

Thank you guys you all are wonderful advsers.but ike CAT1864 says I am much more stronger now than in relationship with him.N.C is un answer when you really want shut the person out of your life.but with me is like I want keep it cool and stay friends with him.I want you guys to understand he was my best friend for 4 years before any thing else.the abuse begins when we became more than friends.maybe was my foult or his but before that he was the best friend that any girl want have.I am really confused.I have learned with N.C I can get over his love but I really want keep his freinship how do I do it? I when I get over him and want tobe friends maybe it is too late for him and really want keep him as friend how do I do it please advice me.Thank you all

You can't be friends with someone when there has been and still is so much emotional involvement and shared history.

You need to understand why you can't free yourself from this attachment,why you can't see how a person who is capable of abuse is not someone you allow to be your friend.

That is why I still think you should find a therapist to help you understand why you can't let this whole thing go.

Hi amicon,thanks for your advice .the sitation is not that bad to see a therapist.I am just confused about having him as a friend.and I am still confused.I know he is abuser when he bcame my boy friend.before that he was v.good to me.I think that freindship that I miss:confused:

Make new friends.
Socialise-this guy's not the be all and end all of your social life.
Get out there and get to know other people.

i can get over his love but i really want keep his freinship how do i do it? I when i get over him and want tobe freinds maybe it is too late for him and really want keep him as freind how do i do it please advice me.Thank u all

Lisa, right now, I don't think you can be friends. For one thing, I don't know if that is all he wants. If it isn't, can you say no to what he wants? Will he put up with you saying no?

There is also the matter of you and the mother of his child. It sounds like you are still harbouring some anger towards her. It also sounds like it is still an extremely touchy subject. You don't trust him not to lie to you about seeing her and if he is a 'friend' not a 'boyfriend', then he should have no need to lie and you shouldn't feel the need to question him about her.

Keep up NC for a while longer. Let yourself get over him AND the baby mama drama. Allow yourself to fully HEAL.

Thanks all you guys, I agree with all. I guess I am not yet 100% over him, because just today I saw him across the road, and I froze. I learned I am still attached to him emotionally. I felt the loss, and the pain again. So like u guys advised me, I will keep N.C for some time. Thank you guys for giving me more advice to keep me strong.

Edited

Keeping complete proper NC is what will get you through this.
And,again,make new friends.
Come back and update us.
Take care,Lisa.

Even if you don't give updates, if you feel like you are weakening reread the thread. Good luck sticking to full NC.

Hi guys ,I just have a little qustion which is confuses me.latly I was letting my ex to contact me.because of that I come back here to ask your advice if I can take him as friend.but now you all advice me to keep N.C how could I just stop answering his call and ignor him? Because we start taking as friend when I answer his call.can I find a reson to make him angry then I stop the connection or how do I do it?I am really confused how to start N.C again and what he will think of me when I cut him off again?it crazy qustion help

Lisa

If you want to stop all the confusion stick to NC as we have all advised you , the problem is your still worried about how he feels , Forget about what he feels , he obviously doesn't care how it affects you.

The sooner you realise that the only way to really stop all this confusion is to stop putting this guy on a pedestal and start worrying about yourself.

I would bet after your over him you probably won't even want to be friends with him.

how could i just stop answering his call and ignor him? because we start taking as freind when i answer his call.can i find a reson to make him angry then i stop the conection or how do i do it?i am really confused how to start N.C again and what he will think of me when i cut him off again?it crazy qustion help

Do not play games with trying to make him mad or anything else. Just stop taking his calls. Ignore his messages. Delete texts, messages, etc. You shouldn't care what he thinks. If he gets upset and doesn't contact you because you ignored him, does it really matter?

You guys are wonderful.I am so happy to come here and tell my worries and get support from some body I never seen.guys because of you. I am stronger today and at least I can control my emotions.now I feel like I have a big familie here that I can count on.Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will take your advice I will start N.C again. Until next time with a good news Hopefuly :)take care

Good luck, Lisa. Take care of yourself.