I guess ill start with the simple stuff first. My name is chuck and I'm 21 years old. I don't know what to do any more. I'm so tired. I just want to know how to fix myself. I guess it all started when I was 12 are so. I always have been a sad person. I don't know why. I started cutting myself on and off when I was 13. I think I did it just to get noticed. I'm not sure. But I stopped doing that and stared working out. I replaced one pain for another one. But when I was 18 I went into the army. And it all came out again. I guess I have a problem with that. It's a constant battle for me. I win most times but not always. But that's not what I'm trying to find out. I want to know why I'm sad all the time. I don't really have any thing to be sad about. But it never goes away. I stay busy a lot. I don't like having too much free time it gives me too much time to think. I work two jobs and I work out every other day. And I should be going back to college next month. So its not like I have a bad life. I'm just at a point in my life where I'm so tired of being tired. I fill like in life I can do any thing. But more so I fill like I have a monster in me that wants to get and has for so long. I just want to be a happy normal person. Is there any one El's out there like me? And I'm not trying to have a sob story are say poor me. I just want answers. No one has ever been able to give me any. I fill such hatred towards the world. And at the same time I fill so sorry for the world and all the pain there is. Its Cinda funny. In most movies all there is, is death and pain. You would think in the one place where there could always be happy ending there always would be. I just want to know how to get rid of the pain and the nothing ness.

Your post makes me sad. Of course I can't tell you why you are sad. I don't know you. It seems like you don't like yourself. Why don't you like yourself?
What kind of childhood did you have?
I've had depression all my life. In the past 10 years I can remember one month where I was happy. I mostly know why I'm unhappy though.
Have you tried to figure out why you are unhappy?
If you need someone to talk to we can exchange email addresses.

No I don't. I never really have.I don't know ho to. It seems like I have been this way for so long its apart of me.If you want to email me you can. Its [email protected].

I tried2 email you but got a failer notice. If u don't know why you are sad mayb you should take some time thinking& try to figure it out.