OK.. I'll explain my story first..

So I have this first love.. hes a year older than me..
I was a freshmen.. he was a junior.
We didn't really go out.. it was just like a mutual understanding..
But he was the FIRST of all the guys.. I really did love him..
It didn't really last long.. I fell sooo hard for him.. and he broke my heart really badly..
No closure.. and a year later... he found out I wasn't over him yet.. he told his friend...
"oh her.".. *long silence*.. "i know what i did to her....but tell her to move on."

I cried about that for about a week..

I tried to move on with so many guys.. but there's only one guy that actually worked.. lets hide him by a code name.. "hapon".
I really like hapon.. but I think my feelings for my first love will always be stronger..
I don't get it why its like that.
The day hapon asked me out.. I said yes..
That night I had a dream about my first love..
He was at my front porch.. he looked all handsome & ready for my birthday party..
But all I saw on the table was BREAD.yes I don't know why..
I hugged him the moment I saw him..
And its like I really felt it.. I said " i thought you'd never come"..
And he said "i did..for you."
And I just hugged him tighter.. and I cried..
I woke up.CRYING.


PLEASE tell me what that dream is supposed to mean..
Even though my first love was a complete a**hole...
I always see the good side of him.. I never think of him as a bad guy..
I always tell myself... "things change..accept it" that's why I always push
All the memories of me and him at the back of my mind.
I still love my first love.. and I know its wrong because I already found
Someone who will love me so much more than my first love can...
But... I don't know...
I love my boyfriend now.. and I also love my first love..

Was that dream supposed to tell me that its finally time to say goodbye?
I've said goodbye to my feelings for my first love so many times but..
I always come back to loving him again when my other relationships
Don't work out..

Please give me advice.. and please give me an idea what my dream is telling me...

Thank you:]

It's hard for most people to really get over their first serious boyfriend/girlfriend.. He obviously doesn't want to date you for the time being so I'd say just date other people, or stay with "hapon" if you really do care about him. If it was meant to work out with you and your "first love" then it either would have before, or it will happen later, regardless if you see other people in the meantime or not.

I think you move on, and take the time to deal with the emotional attachments that first love brings. Second love follows first love, but who knows when that will happen.

If it makes you feel better, we all go through the first love blues. We all get haunted by them in our dreams, from time to time, no matter how old you get, >sigh< but the same can happen with the 5th love, 21st love, or the 37th love.

I think you're just too hung up on this vision that love is something that will come around to you if you just believe in it enough and never let go of it. I'm sorry to say, that's not how it works. You really just need to let go of this guy. Stop wishing he'll come back.