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STEF182
Aug 22, 2009, 07:16 PM
Hi. What is the worst that can happen to someone who has in so many words, abused a child. No beating but let's say grabbing an arm or leaving a bruise or scratch, especially if it's an accident? If the parents seek to press charges, what's the worst that can happen to this person? Jail? Bail? A fine? I ask because I know someone who works in a daycare who is afraid that one day scratching a child or accidentally bruising a child might result in criminal charges.

Stratmando
Aug 22, 2009, 07:40 PM
The Person who has the Most Money, will win over a Person of lesser money, even though they are wrong, lawyers are destroying our Country. They protect the Worst, and won't Defend the Best, It's a Money thing.
If Bruising is a problem, tell her to handle them like Glass, No possibility of bruising or breakage.
Accidents happen, Tell Her/him to handle them Gently, they're baby's, Big Babies.

jmjoseph
Aug 22, 2009, 07:57 PM
Hi. What is the worst that can happen to someone who has in so many words, abused a child. No beating but let's say grabbing an arm or leaving a bruise or scratch, especially if it's an accident? If the parents seek to press charges, what's the worst that can happen to this person? Jail? Bail? A fine? I ask because I know someone who works in a daycare who is afraid that one day scratching a child or accidentally bruising a child might result in criminal charges.

That means this person has no business being around children. They are more worried about themselves,and possible legal action against them, than they are with the welfare of a child. An accident is just that. Grabbing or rough-handling a child is abuse. Let's get that straight. If this person scratches or bruises a child , they deserve to be punished. If it were my children, the courts would be the LEAST of their worries.

STEF182
Aug 23, 2009, 07:32 AM
That means this person has no business being around children. They are more worried about themselves,and possible legal action against them, than they are with the welfare of a child. An accident is just that. Grabbing or rough-handling a child is abuse. Let's get that straight. If this person scratches or bruises a child , they deserve to be punished. If it were my children, the courts would be the LEAST of their worries.

You misread the message. This person is not worried just about themselves and this person is great with children, just loses patience at some times and doesn't realise her own strength. She doesn't mean to hrut the children. This person thinks she should seek professional help, such as anger management. I think your answer was not very helpful at all sir, you did not answer the question, you attacked the question and threatened basically to punish this person for something not even close to needing punishment. Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

jmjoseph
Aug 23, 2009, 11:50 AM
You misread the message. This person is not worried just about themselves and this person is great with children, just loses patience at some times and doesn't realise her own strength. She doesn't mean to hrut the children. This person thinks she should seek professional help, such as anger management. I think your answer was not very helpful at all sir, you did not answer the question, you attacked the question and threatened basically to punish this person for something not even close to needing punishment. Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

I'm sorry you think it wasn't helpful, but I obviously didn't misread the message as she admittedly understands she has anger issues. That was my point all along. If she mis-handles children, she needs help before she is around them again. She can be absolutely wonderful 95% of the time, as I'm sure she is, according to you, but the other 5% will get her in trouble. She knows she has a problem. Then why isn't she getting help? " She doesn't mean to hurt the children" is what you said. If it's happening, then she is ultimately responsible. That may not be the answer you wanted, and I'm sorry for being so harsh, but children are innocent victims, and cannot defend themselves. Unintentional abuse is still abuse. Do you have kids? I do, and would not want someone with anger issues being in charge of them. Even if the percentage was 1%. That's my point.

ChihuahuaMomma
Aug 23, 2009, 12:00 PM
Someone that has anger issues and "doesn't know their own strength" and grabs children should not be working at a daycare.

danielnoahsmommy
Aug 23, 2009, 12:04 PM
The Person who has the Most Money, will win over a Person of lesser money, even though they are wrong, lawyers are destroying our Country. They protect the Worst, and wont Defend the Best, Its a Money thing.
If Bruising is a problem, tell her to handle them like Glass, No possibility of bruising or breakage.
Accidents happen, Tell Her/him to handle them Gently, they're babys, Big Babies.



What a negative view on life. So sorry you feel this way. A lawyer must have done wrong to you or someone you love. Trust me they are not all bad guys. What makes this country bad are those who need the defending (not referring to the innocent). The ones who can't tell wrong from right or just don't care!

danielnoahsmommy
Aug 23, 2009, 12:06 PM
If this person has an anger issue and man handles a child then yes she diserves what she should get and perhaps needs to find another line of work. Trust me if I picked my child up and found a bruise or a scratch the police would be called.

excon
Aug 23, 2009, 12:52 PM
Hello S:

If this person abuses a child, whether he meant to or not, he'll be put in JAIL, and that's where he should be.

What?? IF somebody grabbed YOU and left marks, you don't think that person belongs in jail?? Fortunately for the disadvantaged, the law thinks he should.

excon

STEF182
Aug 23, 2009, 05:51 PM
Hello S:

If this person abuses a child, whether he meant to or not, he'll be put in JAIL, and that's where he should be.

What??? IF somebody grabbed YOU and left marks, you don't think that person belongs in jail???? Fortunately for the disadvantaged, the law thinks he should.

excon

I'm sorry but that's a little extravagant. If someone grabbed me and left a mark I would not put them in jail. Grabbing may be considered abuse but it doesn't deserve jail time. Kids get grabbed all the time and not necessarily out of anger. How do you pick up a child? Do you never scold your child when he/she's done something bad? Don't say never, its impossible. It has happened to everyone at one point or another, out of anger or by accident. And not all those people deserve to go to jail. Anyway I suppose everyone has their point of view, but you must be reasonable as well. Do not exaggerate because then 100% of the population would be in jail, and that's ridiculous thinking. That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically.

Stratmando
Aug 23, 2009, 05:57 PM
I think what Excon is saying, if you bruise, strike, spit, It could be considered Assault, and cause for arrest.
There are other jobs where it may desirable to strike and hit people with no accountability, but none with Kids.

jmjoseph
Aug 23, 2009, 06:04 PM
I'm sorry but that's a little extravagant. If someone grabbed me and left a mark I would not put them in jail. Grabbing may be considered abuse but it doesnt deserve jail time. Kids get grabbed all the time and not necessarily out of anger. How do you pick up a child? Do you never scold your child when he/she's done something bad? Don't say never, its impossible. It has happened to everyone at one point or another, out of anger or by accident. And not all those people deserve to go to jail. Anyway I suppose everyone has their point of view, but you must be reasonable as well. Do not exagerrate because then 100% of the population would be in jail, and that's ridiculous thinking. That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically.

This "person" KNOWS they have anger issues. They work with children. They obviously have lost their temper with those children. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't an issue. This person needs to get another job until they get help. Bottom line. And yes, if they hurt a child now that they know they have a problem, they should most definitely be punished to the full extent of the law. There is no "extravagance" in that at all.

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 03:24 PM
This "person" KNOWS they have anger issues. They work with children. They obviously have lost their temper with those children. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't an issue. This person needs to get another job until they get help. Bottom line. And yes, if they hurt a child now that they know they have a problem, they should most definitely be punished to the full extent of the law. There is no "extravagance" in that at all.

Well, if you go back to my question, that was the actual question, what is the law in that case? I mean, will the police arrest this person, if parents press charges, what does that mean, pressing charges? If its jail, how long, I mean, the worst I can think that can happen if it's a minor accident such as a bruise or a scratch, which by the way can happen at daycare and usually does, but I was asking this question because sometimes you get crazy parents such as yourself, who exaggerate completely. For example, another person I know owns her own daycare at home, and another baby bit this other baby and that baby's parents called the police. Don't you think that's a bit psycho? I think so. This person hasn't actually abused any of the children, this person has admitted to losing her temper and has gotten a bit rougher than usual in the fit of her momentary anger. It's not as serious as you make it sound to be punishable. But anyway, I thank you for being so protective and cautious, however, the main question wasn't answered, what are the laws on this issue (in Canada BTW).

excon
Aug 24, 2009, 03:29 PM
however, the main question wasn't answered, what are the laws on this issue (in Canada BTW).
Hello S:

If this person abuses a child, whether he meant to or not, he'll be put in JAIL, and that's where he should be.Hello again, S:

I believe I answered your question. I haven't changed my mind.

excon

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 03:33 PM
Hello again, S:

I believe I answered your question. I haven't changed my mind.

excon

Ok, but how do you know this, because you're a suppsoed excon? Do you know the canadian laws? You really sure that without any real evidence, that this person without a prior criminal record, would be put in jail or prison for accidentally bruising a child?

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 03:35 PM
Ok, but how do you know this, because you're a suppsoed excon? Do you know the canadian laws? You really sure that without any real evidence, that this person without a prior criminal record, would be put in jail or prison for accidentally bruising a child?

I mean, is that an opinion or a professional answer?

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 03:36 PM
Might I add that I researched online for any records or news reports on child abuse, and the only thing that comes up in Google are reports of sexual abuse or murder attempts. What I describe is nowhere near that.

danielnoahsmommy
Aug 24, 2009, 03:38 PM
If you want a professsional answer hire an attorney!

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 03:42 PM
if you want a professsional answer hire an attorney!

I suppose that is the simplest answer you could give someone. An attorney is not necessary, not at this point. She has not left any marks on the children, she has only gotten rough, and was just afraid of her actions.

excon
Aug 24, 2009, 03:44 PM
Ok, but how do you know this, because you're a suppsoed excon? Do you know the canadian laws? You really sure that without any real evidence, that this person without a prior criminal record, would be put in jail or prison for accidentally bruising a child?Hello again, STEF:

Relax... Take a chill pill. I know you don't LIKE the answer, but that doesn't change it.

Now, you want to throw in other stuff, like there's no real evidence... You never said that before... THAT was never part of the equation. You asked what could happen to a person who accidentally or NOT abused a child. I answered it. We're not going to have a trial right here, because I can see that you're going to change up all the time. You don't want an answer. You want to be right.

excon

JudyKayTee
Aug 24, 2009, 05:06 PM
I suppose that is the simplest answer you could give someone. An attorney is not necessary, not at this point. She has not left any marks on the children, she has only gotten rough, and was jsut afraid of her actions.



She "ONLY" got rough with a person maybe (and only maybe) one-eighth her size and weight? That's the ONLY thing she did - ?

Let a man put his hands on a woman and his tail will sit in jail. I see the punishment being even worse for a person who abuses a child, whether out of anger or not.

Yes, if the parents press charges or if the Province presses charges, I see jail time because I see no remorse, no changinged attitude, only anger. If this anger comes out in this fashion on a public board I am concerned about anger directed at a child.

YOU are the one who referred to this as child abuse. We didn't put those words in anyone's mouth.

If there is any hypocrisy here it is your comment on this thread https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/child-abuse-neglect-215257.html#post1939512 that CPS should be called.

Apparently anyone else's behavior is abuse/neglect. Yours is in another category in your eyes.

I also hope on behalf of unborn children everyone that you are NOT pregnant. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/irregular-periods-how-do-get-pregnant-its-been-year-390092.html#post1942560

STEF182
Aug 24, 2009, 05:08 PM
You guys are very close minded and read into what I wrote and misinterpret what I mean, I am closing this discussion, I've had enough.

JudyKayTee
Aug 24, 2009, 05:10 PM
You guys are very close minded and read into what I wrote and misinterpret what I mean, I am closing this discussion, I've had enough.



Unless you are a moderator, you can't close a thread. Also, it would be illogical.

I do admit that I am remarkably closed minded (and I can't speak for my comrades) when it comes to any type of abuse - children, spousal, girlfriend/boyfriend, animals. And I make no apologies for that.

As a side issue, arresting someone for abuse is illogical? Your words.

jmjoseph
Aug 24, 2009, 05:52 PM
I suppose that is the simplest answer you could give someone. An attorney is not necessary, not at this point. She has not left any marks on the children, she has only gotten rough, and was jsut afraid of her actions.

They have only gotten rough? Then why are you here researching punishment? You get answers, you question them. You get more answers, you insult the experts. You want to leave in a huff, the do just that. My original post stands. This "person" ( I'm wondering who that actually is) is more concerned with covering their butt. People don't usually call the police for no reason. Instead of researching the ramifications, you should be researching getting help, like anger management. THIS PERSON DOES NOT NEED TO BE AROUND CHILDREN. This site is free, the people come here to help, at NO CHARGE, if you don't like these answers, or question their validity, go get a lawyer. The people here ( including myself) are trying to help you. Is this the way you give thanks?

ChihuahuaMomma
Aug 24, 2009, 11:32 PM
Did anyone notice that this went from CHILD to CHILDREN? I can't see how it's an accident if its happened more than once. Not only that but from the OP's anger because of the truth and opinions being stated by our "comrades", I'm assuming the OP is actually the culprit posting for their "friend" as not to seem like a child abuser.


I'm sorry, commit crimes, pay the price. Commit those crimes against defenseless people, pay harder. I see no remorse.

hheath541
Aug 24, 2009, 11:52 PM
I'm sorry but that's a little extravagant. If someone grabbed me and left a mark I would not put them in jail. Grabbing may be considered abuse but it doesnt deserve jail time. Kids get grabbed all the time and not necessarily out of anger. How do you pick up a child? Do you never scold your child when he/she's done something bad? Don't say never, its impossible. It has happened to everyone at one point or another, out of anger or by accident. And not all those people deserve to go to jail. Anyway I suppose everyone has their point of view, but you must be reasonable as well. Do not exagerrate because then 100% of the population would be in jail, and that's ridiculous thinking. That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically.

Grabbing, in and of itself, is not the issue. Either is discipline. The issue is that she's worried about leaving actual MARKS!

I was a trouble-maker as a child. I got yelled at, spanked, and physically dragged from one place to another when my behavior warranted it. During none of that did my mother ever actually cause a bruise or scratch. I got bruises because I fell when running from her or threw myself on the floor in a fit or managed to knock myself into something during a tantrum, but never from her grabbing me. I scratched myself against shelves and carts in stores and even still have a scar on my hand from where my own thumbnail managed to take a chunk out when I was throwing a fit, but none of it was caused by my mother.

Picking up a child, or scolding them, does not leave marks. Applying too much force while picking them up or spanking them (I come from a generation who actually benefited from the occasional, deserved spanking), leaves bruises. Using nails, rings, or other abrasive objects while picking up or disciplining a child leaves scratches.

Since you friend works in a daycare center she should NOT be hitting or spanking them in any way. So I see no reason why that should be an issue. If she has nails or rings that's she's worried will leave scratches, then she needs to cut her nails and remove the rings. The bottom line is simple, they are someone ELSE'S kids and she should be watching how she treats them every moment she's around them. If she feels she has an anger issue that may result in harm to the children, then she needs to quit her job. It's a simple as that.

stevetcg
Aug 25, 2009, 04:32 AM
Its been said and thought by many - you you willfully harm a child, especially through anger, it is assault of a minor and in most states is a felony. In FL it carries 5 years.

But like many have also said and thought... if its my child, you better HOPE the police get to you before I do. I don't know many parents that don't feel that way.

STEF182
Aug 25, 2009, 04:42 AM
Unless you are a moderator, you can't close a thread. Also, it would be illogical.

I do admit that I am remarkably closed minded (and I can't speak for my comrades) when it comes to any type of abuse - children, spousal, girlfriend/boyfriend, animals. And I make no apologies for that.

As a side issue, arresting someone for abuse is illogical? Your words.

I didn't say arresting someone for abuse was illogical. Some of the replies are illogical in my opinion.

STEF182
Aug 25, 2009, 04:47 AM
grabbing, in and of itself, is not the issue. either is discipline. the issue is that she's worried about leaving actual MARKS!

i was a trouble-maker as a child. i got yelled at, spanked, and physically dragged from one place to another when my behavior warranted it. during none of that did my mother ever actually cause a bruise or scratch. i got bruises because i fell when running from her or threw myself on the floor in a fit or managed to knock myself into something during a tantrum, but never from her grabbing me. i scratched myself against shelves and carts in stores and even still have a scar on my hand from where my own thumbnail managed to take a chunk out when i was throwing a fit, but none of it was caused by my mother.

picking up a child, or scolding them, does not leave marks. applying too much force while picking them up or spanking them (i come from a generation who actually benefited from the occasional, deserved spanking), leaves bruises. using nails, rings, or other abrasive objects while picking up or disciplining a child leaves scratches.

since you friend works in a daycare center she should NOT be hitting or spanking them in any way. so i see no reason why that should be an issue. if she has nails or rings that's she's worried will leave scratches, then she needs to cut her nails and remove the rings. the bottom line is simple, they are someone ELSE'S kids and she should be watching how she treats them every moment she's around them. if she feels she has an anger issue that may result in harm to the children, then she needs to quit her job. it's a simple as that.

THANK YOU! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, just cause its not me doesn't mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and some of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!

stevetcg
Aug 25, 2009, 04:48 AM
THANK YOU!! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, jsut cause its not me doesnt mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and soem of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!!

There is a difference between scolding a child and abusing a child and if your friend does not know where that line is, she has no place being a caregiver of children.

hheath541
Aug 25, 2009, 04:59 AM
THANK YOU!! Now, what you've replied is decent. People here are going crazy and saying preposterous things based on a small message, assuming the worst. Your reply is logical and completely true. This person is not myself, it is a friend, and this stupid replies are just making me mad, jsut cause its not me doesnt mean it can't make me mad. I am asking questions based on the answers, and soem of the answers are making me wonder why crazy people think that scolding a child deserves jail time. Its just exagerration and like I said everyone would be in jail!!!

Never once did anyone say that scolding a child deserved jail time. YOU were the one who said your friend was worried about physically harming the children. You were also the one who said that she has already been physically rough with them. They were merely using what you said to formulate opinions.

You reacted badly to the responses and contradicted what you said in your original post in an effort to downplay the situation. You then inflamed things even further by accusing people of being unfair, illogical, and misreading what you had clearly stated before, and then tried to stop people from responding by stating that the discussion was closed.

In case you missed it; I was agreeing with what everyone else in this thread has already said.

STEF182
Aug 25, 2009, 05:15 AM
Look, an online discussion can get out of hand if the first question is written improperly. I believe perhaps my question was not clear enough to express what my thoughts were. Since they are MY thoughts, and MY question, then I know what I mean, and I feel people are just attacking this person, who once again is not me. I did not post this question for my friend to be attacked, and I absolutely did not want people to start thinking she is abusing these children. I say CHILDREN instead of child because it is a daycare, it was unintentional switching from child to children. Of course, working in a daycare an educator does on more than one occasion lose patience and may more than once scold a child. I also feel that people are just misinterpreting my question and she is my friend, it feels like a personal attack. Anyhow, the answers are appreciated, its nice to know how many people care about children, really! I just continued with as you say"downplay the situatuion" or "contradicting" because the discussion in my eyes got out of hand and I started asking other questions based on the answers, because I was trying to understand a point of view on different actions.

stevetcg
Aug 25, 2009, 05:21 AM
If someone "loses patience" with a child that causes that child harm, it is child abuse. If a child gets bruised or scratched in the process of being punished, it is child abuse.

It is NOT an accident. An accident would be if she were to turn around and trip over a child. Grabbing a child is not an accident.

Can I be more clear?

jmjoseph
Aug 25, 2009, 05:51 AM
If someone "loses patience" with a child that causes that child harm, it is child abuse. If a child gets bruised or scratched in the process of being punished, it is child abuse.

It is NOT an accident. An accident would be if she were to turn around and trip over a child. Grabbing a child is not an accident.

Can I be more clear?

It's even worse because this person KNOWS that it has happened, and will probably happen again. It's easily preventable. Get another job.

JudyKayTee
Aug 25, 2009, 06:18 AM
I didn't say arresting someone for abuse was illogical. Some of the replies are illogical in my opinion.


Here's what you said: "That's why people need lawyers, because some people are accused illogically."

Where does that translate to you receiving illogical replies?

Also, if this IS about a friend and you excuse or justify her behavior you have no business trying to get pregnant and raise children.

JudyKayTee
Aug 25, 2009, 07:53 AM
[QUOTE=Comments on this post
Stratmando agrees: Disagrees, Ballancer, you could have just said your opinion?.[/QUOTE]


What if I don't understand this comment? I can't figure out if you agree with me or don't agree with me - :)

jmjoseph
Aug 25, 2009, 08:57 AM
The title of this thread is "what's the worse that can happen". Meaning to THEM, in the eyes of the law. The WORST that can happen is that an innocent child could be harmed. You need to get your priorities straight.

Stratmando
Aug 25, 2009, 12:37 PM
Never seen so many reds given, either from missunderstanding, or different opinion.
I'm out of here.
I sure DIDN'T mean to Give JudyKayTee a green, I wanted to give her a red to balance hers to mine, I also felt other reds she readily passes on to other as unjustified.
Anyone know how to retract a green and give Her a red?