So anyway, I have this ex that I still like. I have tried forgetting him and trying to move on. None of this has worked for me. He dumped me because he said he was going to be so busy with school and homework and sports that he won't have as much time for me as he wants to.

I really don't care for that part cause I told him that I know school goes first and that I would love to come and see him play his sports so I would be there supporting him and cheering him on. The only things is that he doesn't want to go through this relationship right now.

But I want him and need him!! He is my everything and I don't have any interest in anyone at all and I don't want to. I want him!! All my friends use to say that we were a great couple and we looked so good together and all that. I do believe it to. But he says that I have to wait a year to get back with him and I don't want to wait that long cause I think that he wouldn't like me anymore and that he would move on.

But I want him and it would be great to find out how I can get him back please!! Thanks for anyone who comments!!

Honestly, love hurts.

I think before we find that life long partner we need to experience this pain before finding ``theone``.

If it hurts just cry. If u feel like your alone, your not. If you love him enough, give him what he asks and that shows true love for somebody.

It hurts and is hard to move on, but if it is meant to be or was meant to be it will be.

But don`t wait, live your life, be as happy as you can be, as hard as it is to move on from somebody you love so dearly and feel that you can`t be without.

God takes care of us and doesn`t give us anything we can`t handle.

All the best to you and you have come to the right place for support.

Elousia

Thanks but should I wait for him and still have fun in my life or just try to forget about him?

Don`t wait, let life happen, have fun, set and accomplish goals and in a year`s time you will be so thankful for it.

What if he wants me back?

Face that bridge when you come to it. Enjoy life and realise that we need to be happy within ourselves first of all. No one else can make you

Than that's your choice and depending on how you feel... I've beginning to learn about all this relationship and from my recent experience, you share your own happiness with the one you love, he doesn't make you happy, you two just share the happiness together. You can't force anyone to love you and you also can't force someone to stop loving you, you're in control of your feelings. Don't worry too much about if he comes back or not, always live at the worst possible choice so either way you're always ready to take on the world. In the mean time, just live your life and talk to him for a few min if you have time so he knows you're still around and not forgotten about him but don't be needy or clingy. You got your own life to live so just be happy, and as for waiting... try letting go and holding on at the same time. You can wait for him but don't wait forever... hope you understand what I meant by holding on and letting go at the same time... if he comes back, great, it's up to you to choose.. and if he doesn't than it was never meant to be but just don't give up hope on your life. Live free and be happy for who you are... Elousia is right, God won't give us anything we can't handle... and take it as having a "break" to improve yourself for maybe for someone else or even a second chance with him if he does come back. At least by that time you know you're a lot better person than before. Live your own life, do the things you want to do, and let time fix itself up. Don't worry about "what-if's".. It's all a question with unknown answers. Don't stress over it cause it's not worth stressing over.. just live your life and when it's time than everything will come in place. Why stress so much with "what-if's" if you never have any answers to them? So just don't worry about it until that time arrives than do what your feelings and heart tells you. Everyone is different and unique in his/her own. All relationship is different, no one really knows what might or what might not happen... best you could do is forget all the "what-if's" and just go on living your life and seek it through when it comes. Dealing with breaker or breakee.. it doesn't make any difference on who's right or wrong... there is always a purpose behind it. Like for me I broke up with my ex not cause I stopped loving/caring for her but cause I was making her life easier since it's long distance and she likes another guy that reminds her of me and I lost my grandfather and all that ( still love her to death but I'm okay)... All I want is for her to be happy so I accepted it all and just live it the best I can. I broke up with her not cause of myself but cause of her... that's why I tend to believe it doesn't matter who is right or wrong in a break up... it's just how you deal with it. Give it sometime and things will work out for the best. So don't ask why or what if's... just live your life the way you want it and get some things you want done and you should be fine.

Forget about him. He's told you he's not interested in a relationship right now, and it's unlikely he's going to wait for you too. He broke up with you because he feels he has better things to focus on than you.

You might want him, but you certainly don't NEED him. You need to just stay away from him and pursue a life separate from him. Go out with friends, work out, volunteer, do something, anything but "check up" on him, talk to him constantly, etc etc. You'll freak him out and be labeled a stalker.

You don't need him. Broken hearts just make you think you do.

Chance are if you push him harder you may find out something you don't want to hear

I would bet that since you have been with him you have neglected someone or something pick one of those to spend time on to keep you busy
Grab a friend you haven been spending as much time with and hang out with them

Pour yourself into something to get your mind off this guy for awhile all your worries and emotions are being wasted for now because you are not in control of how this turns out

This is the ex that you keeps dumping you?

I suggest you stop. Reading your last thread [see here] (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/why-383556.html#post1903269) you have some issues to deal with BEFORE even having any relationship.

Your self-esteem seems shot, and that needs work on- in order to love someone you have to love yourself first.

He doesn't want to be with you- that's why he keeps dumping you... that's why he said no.

Sarah

Thanks everyone but sometimes it stink because I see him at school and every time he does something funny or great I just keep falling in love with him. I can't even stop looking at him.

Thanks everyone but sometimes it stink because i see him at school and every time he does something funny or great i just keep falling in love with him. i can't even stop looking at him.

Whenever you think you're falling deeper in love with him, or think he's a great guy:


Remember he doesn't care about you. You're disposable and replaceable to him.



I've been there before. We all have. You need to rebuild faith in yourself and confidence, and find someone that truly thinks you're special and is not willing to let studies and other activities influence his care for you.

Well it's not that he doesn't care about me it's just that we have had problems from liking other people, our relation not going how we want it and being busy.

If he's been liking other people, and is "too busy" for you, don't fool yourself.

He's making excuses. And you're eating them up and letting him treat you like a yo-yo.

Well not the whole liking other people but I really know how busy he gets cause he has like soccer practice, homework which he waits till last minute to finish, other clubs at school and going shopping with his parents things like that.

People are never "too busy" for the people they truly want to be with. He would make time if he wanted.

In any case, you're just feeding your pain by making excuses for him. He broke up with you. Again.

I don't want to be harsh, but like Muddy said: He keeps breaking up with you because he doesn't want to be with you.

I hope you'll realize you deserve better soon.

No he does he just can't do it all the time. I mean I will go out and hang with them sometime but don't get me wrong I have even talked to his parents about this and they always say that he is busy. The time I get with him is only on the weekends like Friday,Saturday, or Sunday.

I feel like I'm talking to a wall.

He's busy blah blah blah blah who cares.

The point is he doesn't want to be with YOU, yet you want to try and get him back.

Wake up Sweetheart. I understand you're heartbroken, but jeebz, forget about him. You made him your everything. He didn't make YOU his everything.

Well I didn't make him my everything cause there is something that I would like for him to improve but oh well you can't make someone your everything because once you do you have nothing.

Love FINDS time.dont waste your time yearning for this boy.you don't need this pain.let it go.you re young with your whole life in front of you.

You said in your original post that he is your "everything" and that you "need" him.

There are soooo many other guys out there. High School is just a little fishbowl to meet guys. Once you graduate... you'll be in an ocean filled with so many different guys you almost won't know what to do. But be careful. Don't let people walk all over you.

True and thanks I feel better already, it's just really hard because we have been together for a while and maybe I really didn't work out cause when we first met each other we kind of jumped into a relationship so fast and at about feb. we were starting to make out and stuff. I know I am stupid huh

Your not stupid.

You made an unwise choice but that does not make you stupid.

It's over. Move on.

Trying to win him over would be stupid.

Sarah

I know it hurts, Sweetheart. Especially when you're in a relationship for a long time.

My relationship of almost a year & a half ended because he stopped caring about me in March. He wanted to marry me, have kids, the whole 9 yards.

Looking back, we rushed EVERYTHING. We didn't anything progress naturally. So I didn't take it well when it ended, because I believed everything he said.

You're not stupid. I'm not stupid. We put ourselves out there and were hurt. We rushed things, true, but mistakes are human. We would never learn if we never made mistakes.

Keep your chin up. You'll be okay. I promise.

K thanks so it's forgive and forget and he was probably a loser anyway for all that huh.

Any person that think you're replaceable or disposable is indeed a loser.

Ok so would it be better to talk to him and be friends or should I hate him and not talk to him and get revenge on him?

Ok so would it be better to talk to him and be friends or should i hate him and not talk to him and get revenge on him?

NO. That's silly. It's a waste of time and that would be stupid.

If you CAN be friends why not- DON'T force it.

Stick to being acquaintances for a while and see how it plays out. It's more of a "Hi. How are you. Great. Awesome.Talk to you later. See you around" type of thing.

Sarah

Don't hate him or try to get revenge. That will come back to bite you in the butt.

But considering that you're heartbroken, I would avoid him and not talk to him, because that feeds the pain. Sometimes you may not be able to avoid him, but if such a situation comes up, keep it very short.

Hang out with your other friends and just stay away from him.

No Contact does wonders, trust me.

OK because when we broke up he said that we could still be friends and I think that it might be hard because of my love for him but my parents say not to and don't talk to him because that's not the way things work after a relationship.

ok because when we broke up he said that we could still be friends and i think that it might be hard because of my love for him but my parents say not to and don't talk to him because that's not the way things work after a relationship.

Most guys say that to be nice and have the break up be easier.

Me thinks he's one of them.

Being acquaintances would be a better option. Don't seek him. Don't push on a friendship. It's hard to do the "no contact" rule when you go to the same school as the guy, you don't want to seem that your so hurt that you don't even want to breath the same air as him.

Sarah

Yeah, the school part definitely makes it harder. Being an acquaintance is the best suggestion I could think of, too.

O cause what I do is I have my friends go get him because I always have something to tell him and I don't know if he cares but he comes over anyway, I mean we have no problem talking sometimes but it seems that when I talk to him that he tries to ignore me and then sometimes when he sees me all alone he comes over and talks to me I don't understand

o cause what I do is i have my friends go get him because i always have something to tell him and i dont know if he cares but he comes over anyway, i mean we have no problem talking sometimes but it seems that when i talk to him that he tries to ignore me and then sometimes when he sees me all alone he comes over and talks to me i dont understand

What do you have to tell him?

Getting your friends to go get him is childish.

I think your making up reasons to talk to him.

Leave him alone. When he comes up to you, be polite, but DO NOT push on a friendship if he WANTS to be friends with you he'll ask you to hang out with him- you do not do the asking.

You have been hurt by him and your still going back for more.

Let him go.

Sarah

Muddy, honestly this thread has made me exhausted. Maybe I'll tackle it more tomorrow. I need some Extra Strength Tylenol & some SLEEP.

Good luck here! >.>

Well sometimes I ask if I could come over and sit with him during lunch for a little because my friends sit inside and I get cold really easy so I go over to him and hang out a little but the sad thing is I don't think any of his friends like me even though he says they do.

Well sometimes i ask if i could come over and sit with him during lunch for a little because my friends sit inside and i get cold really easy so i go over to him and hang out a little but the sad thing is i dont think any of his friends like me even though he says they do.

Okay well it's time to stop that- you sit with YOUR friends or make friends that will sit outside with you.

Your not his girlfriend.

Who cares if his friends don't like you. Your no longer his girlfriend.

It's over. It's over. It's over.

Wake up darlin'.

Sarah

OK but I try to get my friends to come outside but they don't want to because its hot so that's why I sit with him. But I feel kind of bad because I have been telling my friends that I want to die and all this other suicide stuff just so I can get over him , and that my life is pointless and worthless because I don't have him, and I have also been trying to get him to tell me rude things so I can get over him quickly but he won't do it cause its stupid

ok but i try to get my friends to come outside but they don't want to because its hot so that's why i sit with him. But i feel kinda bad because i have been telling my friends that i want to die and all this other suicide stuff just so i can get over him , and that my life is pointless and worthless because i dont have him, and i have also been trying to get him to tell me rude things so i can get over him quickly but he wont do it cause its stupid

Okay well you need to do those things what I told you to do on the other thread.

You need to back off. Leave him alone.

You need to talk to someone.

Where are you Canada, U.S.A. England? I can give you teen help line phone numbers to help you!

Do NOT commit suicide over a boy. He is not WORTH your life. NO ONE is worth your life. YOU are worth your life.

Sarah

I know that's what my friends told me and I live in tucson here in the united states but even if I were to want to suicide I won't be able to do it cause I can't do it

i know that's what my friends told me and i live in tucson here in the united states but even if i were to want to suicide i wont be able to do it cause i can't do it

Here are some 24/7 hotline numbers

If you feel like you want to commit suicide please call : 1-800-SUICIDE

If you feel like running away from home please call: 1-800-843-5200

If you feel lonely and depressed please call: 1-800-448-3000

Sometimes you may not get an answer right away on AskMeHelpDesk and a hotline could better help you. You can also always look in your phone book for any other hotlines!

We're always here for support.

Sarah

Christin, this is what we- your friends- have been telling you. Let him go! You die, I die. After I take the blame on him XD

Please let him go. Look after yourself. Your life is in front of you not tangled up in a web of confused emotions. Hugs

Christin, this is what we- your friends- have been telling you. Let him go! You die, I die. After I take the blame on him XD

Nice to know that your friend signed up on AMHD just to tell you this on the boards...

Sarah

K well I know that I am so over him because today I really didn't want to talk to him and I hated his guts more then ever. But what I don't understand is why he leaves his friends to come over to talk to me and my friends. I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL IT'S CONFUSING!!

K well i know that i am so over him because today i really didn't want to talk to him and i hated his guts more then ever. But what i don't understand is why he leaves his friends to come over to talk to me and my friends. I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL IT'S CONFUSING!!!!!!

Don't hate him. It's a waste of time and energy. It's pointless. Move on- that's all.

He probably is embarrassed to talk to you with his or your friends around. Anyway.. it doesn't really matter why he does it- just be brief with him, he causes a lot of emotional stress for you.

Move on Jordan Christin.. move on.


Sarah

I know I am moving on but the thing is that he is being so nice to me now that I really don't want to talk to him. He comes from no where just to talk to me when I have my friends around. And then he just hangs with us and listens to our conversation. It's annoying me and I hate his guts!!

I know i am moving on but the thing is that he is being so nice to me now that i really don't want to talk to him. He comes from no where just to talk to me when i have my friends around. And then he just hangs with us and listens to our conversation. It's annoying me and i hate his guts!!!

Don't let him get to you. You should have better control over yourself.

He's just a boy not some magical being that poops out wonders...

He's probably feeling great and not bothered or carrying the attitude you are. Why should you make this into a big deal? I know your in your teens and break ups are part of it- but ultimately it's up to you if you want to make this into a crisis or not. I wouldn't want to, why be stressed out with drama, if I could be happy and just move on...

If you have such a big problem with him being there then just leave. Make new friends- it's not impossible.

Sarah

I know I have made new friends but whenever I am with them and he sees me he just comes over. And the only thing is that I am trying to leave him so I can be happy and feel better but he keeps popping up to talk to me which I don't know why.

Guess what!! I just got my ex back and he is going to let me prove myself!! The best thing is that everything is going fine!!

What does he mean prove yourself?is he going to prove himself as well? This is NOT what you want to hear I realise that but you shouldn't have to PROVE ANYTHING.

Well before we broke up I told him that I figured out everything that I needed to do in a relationship and I figured out everything I wanted and needed to do, but he broke up with me cause he was upset that he wouldn't have anything to do or see me. But soon I went over to his house and he was going to teach me poker, but soon he started trying to take my phone away and we started touching each other and hugging and all that stuff. I told him that if he didn't stop that I would kiss him on the cheek and yet he didn't care and soon he started kissing me back! Soon he still wanted my phone and then I told him if he wanted it he needed to let me have a chance and I would give him the phone. Then it was about time for me to leave and just before I did leave he gave me a kiss on the lips!! It was the best ever and I am so glad he is doing this for me!! I LOVE HIM!!

You had to give him your phone? so that he would get back with you? Why??

Because he really wanted to see what was on the phone and plus we still like each other very much and it's just hard not to have each other.

because he really wanted to see what was on the phone and plus we still like each other very much and it's just hard not to have each other.

Its always hard to do the right things because the wrong things always are more attractive and appealing.Giving in to this boy is what you want to do more than anything,so it doesn't matter on what flimsy terms you are getting back or whether its right for you or good for you to get back,you will still do it.

Your type of personality looks cut out to be the kind that will only learn her lessons after getting hurt and burnt.You don't have it in you to protect yourself from hurt,by not giving in,by staying away,by guarding yourself from the things or people that are bad for you,even when you sense that things are not right.Its like you are inviting the whole wide world out there to "COME HURT ME" just because you have built up an imaginary picture of someone in your mind.

All of us posting to you on this forum feel this boy's playing with you and treating you shamefully but your mind sees only the picture you have built of him.So no matter what we say,I think you will just do what you want,which is continue playing second fiddle to him and always feeling hurt and heartbroken at his silly behaviour.You will maybe even find excuses for the hurt you feel from all this and start blaming him for all that when its entirely your decision to go back.

I sound harsh and maybe its because I can see what you can't see--that you are in clear danger of getting badly hurt and you can so easily prevent that even now by doing the one thing that's right and good for you:WALK AWAY with your head held high.But before doing that,make it very clear to the boy that the only reason you are doing that is you don't accept the terms of this relationship and feel you deserve more than he can give,which is why you CHOOSE to walk away.

Learn to stand up for yourself Christin.Learn it hard and well,because end of the day,no one else will do it for you.Some of us here have learnt this lesson at a much later age and stage than you are now,and after quite a bit of hurt and pain.Let us help you believe that life's much much more than this silly boy or any boy for that matter.YOU AS A PERSON,AS A YOUNG WOMAN,HAVE A PURPOSE IN BEING BORN IN TUCSON USA UNLIKE MILLIONS OF OTHERS OUT THERE IN THE DARK AND COLD,HUNGRY,UNCLOTHED AND POOR.SO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND LEARN TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE ,WHAT YOU CAN DO ,THE FUN YOU CAN HAVE INSTEAD OF LOSING IT ALL FOR A BOY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE CAN JUST TWIST YOU AROUND HIS FINGER.

What's it going to take for you to stop being foolish, and letting this guy play you? What is it you need to see, to know that your acting like your so desperate, you can be treated like an old shoe to be used any way he wants?

I really want to know.

Me and you both.

Well both of us have tried staying away from each other for a whole month. After our break up we both start to hate life in some way. But after we see each other we still have those feelings for each other and we also start to throw ourselves at each other. It's impossible to stay away from each other.

Well keep us posted.

It's impossible to stay away from each other.
Thats not true, but at least get some respect, don't you think? He shoots you a load of bull, then he disrespects you. He is manipulating your feelings my dear.

That's sad you allow your intense feelings, to over rule your common sense. That's not love.

But why is he doing that then?

I am in a great relationship with I guy I really like! I go over to his house or to his soccer games about once every week. Sometimes when I am at his house we would be hanging out laying down on the floor or something. I would tell him how much I love him and how happy I am that I have him, But every time I do he say "Why? I am not good enough and you can find someone better then me." What does that mean? Why does he keep saying that?

Thanks for anyone who answers.

I have been wondering a lot about this lately. What is the key for a long, wonderful relationship? How do you stay with the one you want?

Thanks to anyone who answers!

He might just be insecure

OR

He wants his ego boosted by you giving him some good reasons. Some guys like there ego boosted by compliments and reasons. I'm one of them, but I don't ask questions like that, but some guys probably do.

My girlfriend once said I'm to good for her, she was just insecure about losing me. That never happened though and she finally got over that. So in this case that might be the problem too.

Or maybe he doesn't want you to get too attached? Is it too much too soon? How long have you been together?

Well we have been going out for maybe about 9 months with just a few break ups but I keep telling him that he is one who is good enough for me even though he thinks that he is not good enough.

What are the causes of these break ups? Did you work things out?

I just read another thread and I sense that you're having doubts. Could you give us a little background so we can help you out?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/why-does-he-say-386693.html

Well first it was about him not feeling right about us dating and then it ended up being that he thought that I was going to get upset that he won't spend time with me.

It sounds like you two need to have a talk about what you want out of the relationship. Sounds like maybe you're expecting more from him than maybe he's willing to give? I can't say for sure but that's the feeling I get.

Well we both know what we want but the weird thing is now that I would go and see him at lunch and now he is telling me that I don't have to see him everyday at lunch. Does that mean he is starting to get over me or does it mean he wants to spend more time with his friends?

It takes more than love.Love comes naturally and that is the easy part.

Communication is key,you must be able to discuss the many problems that relationships face over the years by working them out through open honest communication.

Knowing how to compromise and discuss issues is key.Working together through issues creates a bond that is very important.

Having a realistic expectation about the changes your relationship will take is vitally important as well.

The hearts and flowers don't last forever and the passion of the early days (while still there on occasion) is replaced by a deeper and more meaningful love.

You must trust and respect your partner.

Often when we become so familiar with someone we feel O.K. with expressing anything we feel and fail to show respect.

We need to remember that just because we are familiar with someone that does not entitle us to be less than honorable to that person.

You must never take your partner for granted and you should show them your love and appreciation every day!

It takes work and determination and a willingness to be selfless.

Could be either. You should ask him. Communication is very important in a relationship. The best advice I can give you is to ask him the questions you're asking us. It could be that you're making a big deal of nothing, or it could be that you guys aren't feeling the same about the relationship.

Ok cause I try to see him at lunch every day and I try calling him up about 1 or 2 time a week, but the last time I saw him he was actually kissing me

But why is he doing that then?

Everyone on this forum can come up with all these reasons/behaviourial shortcomings/psychological analysis about trying to figure out why he's playing with you Christin(some of the people out here are real nice people who care enough to pause and analyse,look for reasons, having gone through such painful incidents in their own lives)but the fact still remains that honestly sweetie,we don't know for sure.

Why someone behaves the way they are is entirely up to them.We can only guess.But do you want to keep guessing and finding excuses and standing up for him?Ask yourself this,Do you want to put up with bad behaviour that you know keeps hurting you?How about the number of times he lets you down and hurts you?Does he try to find out how you are coping and what you are going through?

Stop analysing so much.By doing that,you have stopped living like a normal,healthy,fun-loving young person and are constantly depending upon him to make something out of your life.If you have a relationship that leads you through the dark alleys of questioning,finding reasons and excuses and feeling heart-broken all the time,is the relationship worth the salt?Would you have put up with any friend who was rude to you or hurt you,then why him?

Once you let go a relationship that stifles you,you'll become freer to find a relationship that gives you your due and brings out the best in you.Trust us on this.We know as we have been there.

Originally Posted by Jordan Christin https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/want-him-back-so-much-383551-7.html#post1922393)
But why is he doing that then?

That's how manipulator get their way, and that's what he wants, you giving him what he wants.

I have always wanted to know something. When you are dating someone, how can you tell if they are starting not to like you anymore?

Thanks for everyone who answers!

It can range from something subtle like they take longer to return your calls or reduce the time they spend with you to something more overt such as fleeing when they see you coming. Tip: change of phone number, a restraining order against you, or them dating someone other than you are also bad signs.

Jordan hi are you asking about the same boyfriend? Or is it a general question?

Just a general question

Ok-if they phone less text less break dates and generally become less attentive and/or become less available.there s my little list.

I have been wondering a lot about this lately. What is the key for a long, wonderful relationship? How do you stay with the one you want?


Get someone who wants you as much as you want them, and learn to work together, through honest expressions of feelings, and communications.



Originally Posted by Jordan Christin https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-key-386694-post1922646.html#post1922646)
Why does he keep saying that?

He may be a bit insecure, and so are you, about the relationship, and I guess it makes you see small things as bigger and more important than what they are.

Hard to relax, and enjoy, getting to know each other, when your paying attention to your own issues, and not each other.

You will be able to tell, you conscience will let you know, if you are having doubts that he is becoming to dislike you, you will be able to tell with the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice when he talks to you will change, sexual encounters will probably decrease, a big sign would be if he told u that u two really don't have anything in common, that's a nice hint to you that he is beginning to dislike the relationship. Sorry if this is happening to you. Good luck!

The fact that you're here and asking is sign enough. Don't you think?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-key-386694.html

Is this the same person you're referring to?

No

When they start to make themselves less and less available.

If you come here asking that type of question, that's usually a pretty good sign as to things aren't working out too well

When you are an option in there lives, and they are not making time for you.

Threads merged

Anyway I really hate my ex soooooo much now!! We have had this weird on and off dating thing but now I am sick and tired of it so I broke up with him today. He was going to break up with me anyway because he wants to focus more on school cause he thinks freshman year is so important and that he is getting B's so his parents are yelling at him cause he is a straight A student. He also says that he has a lot on his mind and that he won't have time for me even though he hangs out with his friends and stupid gay reasons like that. I am just so tired of him hurting me like that and yet he wants me to wait till the end of this school year just to go back out with him! Ugh I hate him so much that I hope he dies!! Anyway I don't like him anymore but he is getting me really mad cause he is starting to say things about me behind my back. Can anyone tell me how I can take out my madness??

Are you the things he calls you? If not, then ignore them. Stop talking to him, and go live your life. Life is so much more than fighting, and on/off with a jerk. Don't waste anymore time with this guy. It will challenge your sanity, and make you "hard". A good relationship will come along when you least expect it. With a gentleman, not a punk. Good luck to you.

Thanks so much but I am just wondering how I should take out my anger cause I have so much I just don't know what to do with all it

Kick boxing! That is the best way! Don't kill any one.
You can go to a gym and connect with something or you can just kick the air until you fall over. :D

Lol well I have tried that and it really doesn't work for me. I just like want to go up and slap him

Anyway I have no idea what to do, it's so confusing. My ex is just so weird cause I have no idea if he likes me or just wants to use me. He told me the other day that he likes to kiss me and stuff but he hates all the school/public stuff. And he wants to be "really good friends," and kiss and stuff. So is he saying that he hates to be with me? And yet it seems to me that he likes this same girl still even though he knows that she doesn't like him, but he looks and talks to her like he does still likes her and yet he told me he knows it won't happen with her so he says he has moved on. And yet he treats me like in front of his friends. I feel used , so what should I do?

He is using you. Stop all contact with him and don't talk to him or be around him. If you do, he will use you more.

That's what I thought but it's so confusing cause at first he seems like he is really into me and then it gets out of hand at school or something. Cause he looks at this girl in a way that he likes her, but yet when me and him are together its like different.

That's what i thought but it's so confusing cause at first he seems like he is really into me and then it gets out of hand at school or something. Cause he looks at this girl in a way that he likes her, but yet when me and him are together its like different.

A guy that likes you will never look at another girl as more than friends. Obviously he is playing with your head. You got to do what is best for you and not him. I am sure there will be tons of other guys that will treat you right. Leave this guy behind, and don't contact him anymore would be the best thing to do.

K but I don't get it when he says that he is over her and yet does that stuff, Am I just imagining it or am I believing that he can have someone better then me?

Is this the guy from your previous posts?

K but i don't get it when he says that he is over her and yet does that stuff, Am i just imagining it or am i believing that he can have someone better then me?

Stop overthinking stuff. It doesn't matter anymore.

You are way too hung up on what your ex is doing, thinking and saying. Free yourself from these games by leaving him alone. Forget if he can have someone better than you, worry about fixing your own issues and finding someone better than him. He is your ex. Both of you owe each other nothing. You are both NOW free to go pursue a life that fits your two as individuals.

Thanks I know that but its like he changes his mind about me, first he likes me and the hates me.

Seems like he likes you when he wants to kiss and "stuff". Try your hardest to stay away. You deserve better. Here, I found a quote for you. Hope it helps a little!

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Anonymous

He wants to "kiss and stuff", but treats you bad in public? Can you handle dropping him ? Are you willing to do that? Because that's exactly what you need to do. If he can't treat you with respect when you're around other people, he's not worthy of even touching you.

Never forget that. Don't allow ANYONE to use you.

I wish you luck and happiness.

Thanks i know that but its like he changes his mind about me, first he likes me and the hates me.
Then he's a wishy-washy so-and-so. He says what he knows you want to hear in order to keep you around and play mind games with you, then he tells you the truth.

Thanks guys so much I will do that!!

He is your ex, keep it that way, and keep your distance.

Anyway, it been a while since I have been with my ex boyfriend. I still really miss him and I have tried to have other relationships and they haven't been really long, but what I don't get is why I can't get over him even though I am not dating him. And why none of my other relationships haven't last so long. Help!

One of the problems is that you're using other relationships to try and drive the first one out of your head.

Doesn't work very well, does it?

I can't tell you what this guy could give you that you're not getting now; I'm not you. You can figure it out for yourself, though, if you put some effort into it.

Whenever I've had a hard time getting over a breakup, I try and analyze my own feelings first. What's hardest for you about not being with this guy? Is it having to see mutual friends? Is it all the fantasies you had about being together forever that aren't going to come true anymore? Is it a sense of safety or security, or are you feeling a lack of comfort and love? Is it maybe all those things?

When you have a void in your life, for whatever reason, it's very romantic-seeming to think that there's someone out there who can fill in all the holes that the void created. It's also wrong. When you're missing something in your life, the very best thing you can do is identify it and then fill those holes in yourself. Again, this is just what I've done, but when I remind myself of how much I enjoy my own company - that I really can be happy without having a relationship - then I'm perfectly positioned to find someone who isn't going to "complete" me (since I'm already quite complete, thank you!), but someone who complements me.

So you want my advice? Stop trying to start relationships for the sake of having a relationship with someone. You won't be happy, and it won't be fair to the people you're dating since you're never going to find what you want when all you're really looking for is a substitute. Learn to be happy on your own, and the rest will just fall into place. I promise.

Like Fugue said, you are doing everything wrong. You are using rebound relationship to get over your ex, when what you actually need is to take care of yourself and heal. Start going to the gym, join an activity, volunteer... Take an active role in healing, not just passive.

Its just that my ex was really good I and really liked him and our relationship that we had for about 10 months he decided to break up with me cause he thinks that he is to good for me, never spends enough time with me, says he won't have time to know(which he kind of doesnt), he never really talks to me when I try to talk to him, I know his friends hate me.

That`s also something you are doing wrong. You are keeping contact with him. Cut the source of the pain, and the pain will go away. I had a relationship for 3 years, it is only a waste of time to think about the past. You will only be sad and never look toward the future. Let the past be, and start a new life WITHOUT him.

Is this the same guy as before? If so time to let it GO.
Stop dating for a while and be happy being who you are.

I am somewhat in the same situation but I haven't been in a relationship since I have broken up with my ex. Having these different relationships is not good because you are only dating them so you could get over your ex but you want because they aren't him. You need to give yourself time to heal and find the right person for you instead of rushing into another relationship.

So the other day I went to my ex's house to hang out cause were still very good friends. We played some video game first, then we wanted to go up a play the wii but it wouldn't work, so we decided to poke each and tickle each other, but soon it ended up at kissing. Now I am so confused and I don't know what to do! Were not even dating and I have no idea what is going on!! Help!! I need advise really badly!

If this is the same guy as in your other threads,reread the advice you've been given previously.

Yea but its been forever since we have really talked to each other and we have became great friends, and when I went over it was like we were back to dating all over and when we were kissing he kept holding me close to him

You haven't talked in ages but you have become great friends? How, if there's been no conversation?
My take on this is still that you're allowing this guy to mess with your head and you should stay well away from him and concentrate on your own life.

If you're only friends with him in hopes of rekindling your relationship, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm sure he's happy with the friends with benefits arranagement.

So if you're not on the same page, you're in for another heartbreak.

This seems like another interesting topic. I think you really need to look at this in it's entirety, without letting the "ex" factor play into your mind. If this was a guy you did this with that wasn't your ex, would your feelings still be doing in a thousand different ways?

Can you honestly do this type of stuff without setting up expectations or demands that aren't guaranteed to come true? I doubt you can. If you want a friendship with an ex, you need to ensure you can handle things that may occur, like this, without automatically assuming it means a solid future relationship.

I am not going to rule out that you two can't reconnect, have fun and enjoy, but seeing is you have a tumultuous past, one of you are going to have feelings much stronger than the other, and that is when problems occur.

Well we text sometimes so we talk a little, I wouldn't say we really don't talk, but we see each other sometimes, I just have no idea why he would do something like that to me, I thought all we were was just friends,and Kctiger I have no idea what point your trying to prove

It's pretty simple JC: If you expect to be friends with your ex yet still do things like "kissing and cuddling, etc." then either you can handle it without expectations or analyzing them, or you can't. Everything is creating confusion because your feelings are probably ten times his at the moment, so it almost doesn't seem fair to you for this so called platonic "friendship" to last.

And what happens if this so called " platonic friendship" does last?

And what happens if this so called " platonic friendship" does last?

Then that's good, right? I think it is totally possible for someone to get back with their ex, but taking it slow and enjoying little subtle moments of romance is the key. It's when we get overwhelmed with expectations that things can get complicated and someone could get hurt.

I think the young and inexperienced come to my mind.

Hey I just went to talk to him and I asked him about this whole thing, I asked him were it was going and he said that he doesn't know and that we are friends with benefits, so what do I do now?

hey i just went to talk to him and i asked him about this whole thing, i asked him were it was going and he said that he doesnt know and that we r friends with benifits, so what do i do know?

I think you are better than that. You deserve a man who doesn't think of you as a sexual object first, and friend second. If I were you, I wouldn't fall for this. Think about it... as soon as he finds another girl, you're out of the window.

If you don't want to become his toy on the side, then end this friends with benefit relationship completely. This will save yourself a future heart ache. You are still young and have plenty of other chance at love.

Originally Posted by Jordan Christin https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/how-can-you-tell-389022-13.html#post2091425)
I just have no idea why he would do something like that to me, I thought all we were was just friends,and Kctiger I have no idea what point you're trying to prove

You are allowing yourself to be drawn back to him because you think things can go back to the way it was.


Originally Posted by Jordan Christin https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/how-can-you-tell-389022-13.html#post2091425)

I asked him were it was going and he said that he doesn't know and that we are friends with benefits, so what do I do now?

Are you crazy or something? Friends don't kiss and cuddle and hold each other close. That's not platonic friends at all and will never work simply because he (and you) can have other friends with benefits.

Stop acting like a couple in love, and if being friends keeps you confused, then you leave him alone until you have recovered from false hope, and unrealistic expectations.

Disappear from his life, and get your own, with REAL friends, or continue to be in limbo until he gets other friends with better benefits.

I know guys, thanks I had my friends help me and I have not talked to in about four or five days and he hasn't talked to me yet... I think life is going great

Well, I got over my ex boyfriend who had cheated on me, it was hard and now we are OK friends, we talk every now and then. But I really want a relationship with someone else, someone to love and them to love me, but when ever I am near a crush I get the butterflies. What should I do? There are quiet a few guys I like

Why so desperate for a new relationship? Sounds more like you're on the rebound. You feel the need to fill the void that your ex has left.

Do things for yourself. Once you're confident and comfortable with yourself, things will happen naturally.

Well it been about half of a year now, and I have moved on from my ex, and I'm am just ready to meet someone new and to have someone new

Sound normal to me. You got hurt, want to be back in the game ,but you also don't want a replay. You might need some more time to heal as was posted. Unless you are 100yrs old,LOL take your time.

What if I am already healed?

If this would be your first dating or serious relationship since your break up, take your time. You may feel healed and ready for a new relationship, but actually starting one might trigger thoughts and memories that you thought were long gone.

As for getting back into dating, talk to the guys. Great conversation starters can be anything that is happening around you at that moment (class, the weather, how long the check out line is, etc.) If they are single, ask them out to coffee or some other place where both of you are comfortable getting to know each other better. A movie with a group of friends or a movie/game night at someone's house.

Don't be too serious about it. Let yourself have fun.

Talaniman Rule- Date them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy.

Have fun dating and enjoying variety. Why commit when you can have good clean adult fun. That's the way to heal. Having a great time and time flies.

People who look for love, seldom find it, or know it when it does come around.

Date around, have fun get to know people. It what your supposed to do

Most people do get butterflies when they're around someone they have a crush on. Just let the butterflies fly and go for it. Start dating again, but just date to have a good time. You don't have to look at every date as a serious relationship, so just lighten up and enjoy it. :)

Thxs guys, and plus I am kind of nervous to ask guys if they like me so what would be the best way to do that?

You don't ask them if they like you, you judge by their actions.

I agree with Tal, but if you really want to know. You could slip them a note with 2 check boxes with a no and a yes next to each box

Why does love have to be so complicated?

Just slow down and take your time getting to know guys,make friends-and enjoy life.

There's no rush,you don't have to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

I know but it seems like guys r to nervous to ask me and it takes forever

And your to impatient in your quest for love.

Your right I must take time and just love myself before I can love anyone else

There you go-that's the way to do it.
Good luck!

Yes, you need to be happy and love yourself before you can love someone else.

Relationships occurs naturally. As you get to know a person, a bond naturally forms and one things leads to the next.

Well, I have this ex boyfriend that I have been hanging out lately. I went over to his house and we played some video games, poked each other, and messed with each other. It was fun. But I think I am starting to fall for him or he is falling for me, he gives me that look from when we were dating. But the thing is he is dating someone that lives far away, so its like a long distance relationship. What should I do?

Are these about the same ex: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-do-441502.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/how-can-you-tell-389022.html

For one thing, he is in a relationship whether that person is living with him or is in another country. That relationship makes him off-limits to starting anything with you.

If this is the same ex, didn't he cheat on you? Do you want to be the other woman if he cheats on his current partner?

I would suggest cooling off the 'friendship' before things get out hand and a huge mistake occurs.

He is with somebody else,so he is off limits.

Don't let this ex start pulling your strings again.

You clearly cross the lines of good behavior and friendship, when you mess with each other.

Well, I think he is falling for me, the way he acts around me, like when he did when we were dating. And I know I can't fall for him and his old tricks and I won't, beside I have better things then him.

Well, i think he is falling for me, the way he acts around me, like when he did when we were dating. And i know i can't fall for him and his old tricks and i won't, beside i have better things then him.

Keep that in mind when this thought creeps back into your mind:


But i think I am starting to fall for him...

Good luck.

I don't think he is falling for you, but wants to keep you coming to his house so he get the benefit of a female that lets him mess with her.

If you do indeed have better going on, why are you still messing with him? Don't fool yourself young lady, as technically he is cheating on his so called long distance girlfriend, and your helping him do it.

Well, i think he is falling for me, the way he acts around me, like when he did when we were dating. And i know i can't fall for him and his old tricks and i won't, beside i have better things then him.

OK, then why this post? Then why are you hanging out with him at all? The best way to fix this "problem" is to not to contact him at all.

He cheated on you with another woman, and now you ARE the other woman.

Come on.

Well I went over to his house because I was home and didn't have any school. And I just lost my best friend ever and she was the closest person to me. So the another reason I went over was to hang out with someone, play some video games with someone, and when I am with it seems like that big hole just goes away and everything is right.

and when i am with it seems like that big hole just goes away and everything is right.

This should be a huge red warning sign to you that you need to keep distance between the two of you. If being with him causes everything to feel 'right', then you are in no way over him. You are giving yourself false hope that a relationship between the two of you would work out.

As we have said, he is in a relationship, playing around with you is cheating. This male seems to have a very bad habit of getting his enjoyment from whomever he wants whenever he wants regardless of who he is with. He cheated on you. Now, he is making moves to use you to cheat on someone else.

Please have more respect for yourself than to be the other woman or to become his victim again.

Well, it's just that he knows how to make me laugh when I don't want to. But even if I am falling for him it won't matter, I can't help who I have feelings for.

Well, it's just that he knows how to make me laugh when i don't want to. But even if i am falling for him it wont matter, i can't help who i have feelings for.

Ok that's fair enough, I'm through here. Good luck.

Well, it's just that he knows how to make me laugh when i don't want to. But even if i am falling for him it wont matter, i can't help who i have feelings for.

Maybe you can't help who you feel for, but you can help what you do about it. No more excuses about love, and feelings. You ARE responsible for your own actions, and where they lead. Not your feelings.

Well, it's just that he knows how to make me laugh when i don't want to. But even if i am falling for him it wont matter, i can't help who i have feelings for.

This is going to be somewhat harsh:

I believe in many cases you can help who you have feelings for especially if you are actively cultivating those feelings. I think you are actively attempting to rebuild the relationship at the cost of an innocent party (his girlfriend) and your own self-respect.

Stop lying to yourself. You are the only one who can tell him 'goodbye' and mean it, but you don't. You use him as much as he uses you. If you want entertainment, you can find some new places to get it. You don't have to play around with him. You don't have to give yourself the chance of falling for him again. He's a habit like smoking. Until you are ready to quit, you will keep finding excuses to be around him and rebuild the relationship just to get a 'fix'.

When you are ready to take the hands being held out to you, I will be here. However, you have to be willing to help yourself.

Good luck.

Well thank you for sounding somewhat harsh I need someone to push me and tell me the truth, I'm pretty sure if anyone can stop those habits, I can stop them to. Thanks everyone :D I have to stop thinking that things will change, that was back then and I need to start living in the now, he is just like anyone else

I have to say you sound a bit needy? I think that you should have fun and do what it is you want right now. No one can stop you and you shouldn't have to wait for him. Either he wants you or he doesn't. Don't just look for people at your school step out of the box. There will be plenty of others out there, no need to just focus on one that doesn't want you.

Threads merged

So I felt like I have moved on from one of my ex's because I'm in a relationship now. And lately I have seen him at school and he has been brought up by some friends. All I can do is remember all the good things that have happened, like kissing. What should I do? :confused:

Be very careful. :)

Who split up with who?

Are you happy in your current relationship?

What do you WANT to do?

You say you felt like you moved on... that didn't sound too convincing. Do you truly feel as though you have moved on?

You thinko that guy # 2 is a rebound guy? I think you are still not over your ex. Its easy to get all hung up on those things. What to do? Well the two of you broke up for a reason, you need to revisit that reason with him. That's my best advice.

I think this will be merged with your previous thread.

If you are not completely over your ex,don't go down the rebound road-that's not fair on the other guy.

Work on healing from your relationship with the ex-remember the bad times-there were plenty,don't you think?

I think we have all been in one of these situwations, but I think you should just consdier what you want and how you feel. If your having these feelingsand memories about someone else especilly your ex.. you really shouldn't be with this guy your with... you could say to yourself but if I break up with him and then your ex isn't intrestedtht ud be on your own that's not the way too look at it.. anyway all the best... xx

Karta666: He split up with me and I am very happy in my current relationship he makes me happy, and makes the pain go away. And I really don't know what I want to do. There is part of me that wants my ex back and the way things use to be, but part of me doesn't

Amicon: I really can't remember a whole lot of bad times we were pretty good together and there were a couple of times were he totally pissed me off

I think that if he really likes you he'll make it work and be with u no matter what, he's taking u for granted does he not know you can be long gone, I learned the hard way. Just leave him to his school and sports, why should that be more important than u, being in a relationship isn't always supposed to be easy

I know anyway he confuses me because the other day he ask one of my best friends what she thought of my ex and this happened after I told him that my current boyfriend kissed me. Why is he doing this?!

He is doing what you let him do, stay in your business, and close enough to confuse your feelings.

It helps you not one bit that you have another guy that you USE to feel better. He knows that too! Either cut the contact and get him out of your life, good times or not, or suffer the consequences. It really is that simple. I think you should have stayed single, and gotten your head together. Then the confusion wouldn't confuse you.

No the boyfriend I have now I love so much. We have gone out for a month and a half now and things are going great! I know I'm not using him.

If things are so great, then why the heck would you be tripping over an ex, and letting what he does confuse you?

Cause my ex always goes up to my friends to find out what's going on in my life and he asked this question once he found out that me and my boyfriend have kissed