redstarkle
Aug 20, 2009, 01:20 PM
Hello,
My boyfriend of 3 years is just one lovely man. We are having a wonderful relationship, similar interests, goals, sense of humour... just this thing that bothers me and makes me feel he may not be interested in living with me, or even marry me one day as he says...
I will be happy for your advice, as I am 23 and he is 32, I am so unexperienced, never lived with anyone else or thought about marriage.
:confused:
Is it common/normal when deeply in love couple is not living together after 3 years of dating please?
- my boyfriend says until I can pay half rental costs... no money no funny (he is living in a very expensive flat and knows that I, as a day-student cannot afford it / I do work /, but he is not willing to give it up and move to less expensive one and does not want me in, while using the argument of sharing costs, even that he knows he has to pay as much as he would have to if I moved in) - I feel trapped, because he tells me I would be a perfect living partner - I rarely argue, never yell, or bother him... but he knows since the beginning that I would not like to live in such unreasonably expensive flat ever
:confused:
Is it really an american tradition that bride covers all costs of the wedding, except the engagement ring?
- He is american, I am european and I really have no clue what to think about this, as we do not have such... "tradition" - here, when we cannot afford engagement ring we just keep it simple and do not get it, or not with diamond, wedding costs we are or sharing or no matter how the couple agreeds, plus, and my boyfriend knows this, I just do not make a big deal out of this, it is our day and he knows I like simple things... that do not costs that much, and if I want to marry, does it mean I need to have as big parade as possible, or is he just faking and pulling on my leg ?
:confused:
Is the engagement ring that neccessary? And does it have to be very expensive?
- he says it needs to be as expensive as he values me, and because of he does not have that much money yet, he cannot afford it, so he won't marry me until he will be able to buy it
which... as already mentioned above, sounds just strange to me and I need your kind advice with this please.
So I kindly ask you for your help, what to do, or how may I figure out if he is really honest and if so, how to proceed?
(I talked to him about these things, but in a general way. Yes - would be my answer if he asked me to live with him and/or marry him and he knows it for sure...
It hurt me once he told me he almost married longer time ago in Las Vegas with a strange girl... my heart cried and I told him that... he responded it almost happened and just as fun... I asked him if he would be legally obliged... he said yes
My boyfriend of 3 years is just one lovely man. We are having a wonderful relationship, similar interests, goals, sense of humour... just this thing that bothers me and makes me feel he may not be interested in living with me, or even marry me one day as he says...
I will be happy for your advice, as I am 23 and he is 32, I am so unexperienced, never lived with anyone else or thought about marriage.
:confused:
Is it common/normal when deeply in love couple is not living together after 3 years of dating please?
- my boyfriend says until I can pay half rental costs... no money no funny (he is living in a very expensive flat and knows that I, as a day-student cannot afford it / I do work /, but he is not willing to give it up and move to less expensive one and does not want me in, while using the argument of sharing costs, even that he knows he has to pay as much as he would have to if I moved in) - I feel trapped, because he tells me I would be a perfect living partner - I rarely argue, never yell, or bother him... but he knows since the beginning that I would not like to live in such unreasonably expensive flat ever
:confused:
Is it really an american tradition that bride covers all costs of the wedding, except the engagement ring?
- He is american, I am european and I really have no clue what to think about this, as we do not have such... "tradition" - here, when we cannot afford engagement ring we just keep it simple and do not get it, or not with diamond, wedding costs we are or sharing or no matter how the couple agreeds, plus, and my boyfriend knows this, I just do not make a big deal out of this, it is our day and he knows I like simple things... that do not costs that much, and if I want to marry, does it mean I need to have as big parade as possible, or is he just faking and pulling on my leg ?
:confused:
Is the engagement ring that neccessary? And does it have to be very expensive?
- he says it needs to be as expensive as he values me, and because of he does not have that much money yet, he cannot afford it, so he won't marry me until he will be able to buy it
which... as already mentioned above, sounds just strange to me and I need your kind advice with this please.
So I kindly ask you for your help, what to do, or how may I figure out if he is really honest and if so, how to proceed?
(I talked to him about these things, but in a general way. Yes - would be my answer if he asked me to live with him and/or marry him and he knows it for sure...
It hurt me once he told me he almost married longer time ago in Las Vegas with a strange girl... my heart cried and I told him that... he responded it almost happened and just as fun... I asked him if he would be legally obliged... he said yes