View Full Version : How do I get my boyfriend to make the effort? Am I worth it?
xLillyflowerx
Aug 18, 2009, 10:02 AM
Hi I really like my boyfriend and am scared to loose him, but I have heard from a mate of mine that he is just like his friends, and puts on an 'act'. He says he never has any money, so we stay indoors and watch TV and he's happy cos I then stay over. But it is boring. When we do go out its only to the pub.
When I ask him to come round my house he says he is too tired to get to mine and then I always go to his. I love his family they are so nice, but I don't feel appreciated or valued by him, because its too much trouble for him to ride or get a lift to mine.
I've been out wit rich guys and they think they can buy you and I know I'm going out with a down to earth guy but I feel like he doesn't want to make the effort. That I'm not special enough to be taken out. Then I feel bad because moneys not everything, so why does it feel that way?
Is he putting on an act about having no money? Am I expecting too much? How do I get him to treat me right?
:confused::confused:
please answer x
N0help4u
Aug 18, 2009, 10:27 AM
He is probably just bored and in a rut himself.
No money, no where to go, staying in the house too much are all a recipe for complacency. You need to get him to open up more and find ways to make life more interesting.
He might just be someone that LIKES staying home and is only using the lack of money as an excuse therefore what you see is what you get.
So you have to decide if this is the life you want or not. Not what are his motives.
He probably does like you and this is just him and how he is.
slapshot_oi
Aug 18, 2009, 11:58 AM
...we stay indoors and watch tv and hes happy cos i then stay over. But it is boring. When we do go out its only to the pub...When i ask him to come round my house he says he is too tired to get to mine and then i always go to his.
Is he putting on an act about having no money? Am i expecting too much?? How do i get him to treat me right?
:confused::confused:
please answer x
Yeah it's more than money, he's just not into you.
Sucks to hear, I know, I've been there, but I've also been in your boyfriend's shoes as well. I and every other guy who was seeing a girl they just didn't like pull the same routine.
MsMewiththat
Aug 18, 2009, 12:30 PM
I wouldn't take what was said above about him not being into you too much to heart. Some people can't afford things because they have other obligations and generally feel more comfortable in their own home. If you like him and think that there isi something to be salvaged then talk it out. You could always quite giving in to him and see where it goes.
bella99
Aug 18, 2009, 01:13 PM
If a guy likes you, even if he doesn't have any money, he would at least volunteer to come over to your place. If he isn't into you he won't put in the effort. I know - my ex was like that in the end as well.
Why don't you look up some free things to do in the area like outdoor movies, or just going for a walk, or free concerts or try doing something new and fun at home - like cooking dinner together or board games or massage night or something.
See if he is into something free but new. If he is, then maybe it really is just the money. If he isn't into doing something new that is free, then it might be time for you to ditch him and find someone who would be more vested in the relationship.
It's no fun to go out with someone when you are doing all the work. Eventually you become needy because he won't make you feel special or needed, and it won't work out for either of you. Hopefully, its just the money, and you guys can find some fun things to do together that don't require spending any money. Good luck.
N0help4u
Aug 18, 2009, 01:15 PM
To answer your question
am i worth it?
If he doesn't treat you like you are worth it
Its time to move on
jmjoseph
Aug 18, 2009, 02:05 PM
He sounds lazy. It wouldn't cost that much to come to your house would it? I think you should find an in- between guy. I mean one that is in between the "rich" and the "poor", lazy guy. Find one that doesn't make you wonder if he cares. When a person cares, you KNOW it. Good luck to you.
Personally, I think he's using you for booty... with free shipping.
sully123
Aug 18, 2009, 02:16 PM
This is him XLilly, you can't change him. If you have doubts about him, don't waste your time. Put your energy on someone who wants to go out and treat you like a lady.