Hi there, I need a little help sprucing up my cover letter. I found the job I've been drooling over for 6 years and I'm applying but figured that my resume needed a face-lift. PLEASE HELP!

Here it is in its current state:

Cherish A. Lastnamington
1234 S. Yourmom Rd.
Vancouver, WA 98664
(360) 555-2345



Dear Employer:


I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education and experience.


I have considerable work experience for someone my age. I work well with people and enjoy getting the work at hand completed. I am a hard worker and take pride in whatever I do.


May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Cherish A. Lastnamington
(Enclosure)

Hi, Momma!

Let's work on this!

Here's how I would suggest beginning and wording a cover letter so that it sounds the most professional. I'm assuming that your contact information as well as your name are fictitious. At least what I've typed below could be a start.


Cherish A. Lastnamington
1234 S. Yourmom Rd.
Vancouver, WA 98664
(360) 555-2345
The above would be your contact information. It would be your letterhead.

Next, please put the date of the letter. This could be centered or left-justified.

Next, please put the name and address to whom it is to be sent. These would be left-justified.

Dear Employer: (Using the colon is okay.) (It would be best to be addressing the letter to the specific name of the person to whom it is being sent. If you don't know the name of the person, then I would suggest finding that out.)

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education and experience.

Instead of the above: Please accept this correspondence as an indication of my interest in applying for the position of (position) that you have available.

I have considerable work experience for someone my age. I work well with people and enjoy getting the work at hand completed. I am a hard worker and take pride in whatever I do.

Instead of the above: Throughout my career, I have enjoyed (interfacing with, working with, meeting the needs of clients, serving others, etc.) I'm a people person who enjoys working with and meeting the needs of others.

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I am available for an interview at a mutually convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Instead of the above: Please find attached (or, enclosed, a copy of my resume.) I look forward to an opportunity to discuss how my (specific skills listed, experience, skills and ability, etc.) can be of service in serving the needs of (name of the company.) (This could also be expanded upon, depending upon the specific position.)

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Cherish A. Lastnamington
(Enclosure)

This is a work in progress. I know that there is a time element here.

Thanks!

It's an outside optical sales job. So selling glasses to the shops that sell glasses. All I have is an email address and the job decsription, it's a Craigslist posting. But the information you've provided me with is very helpful.

I would just like to add, Momma, that they aren't going to be concerned about your age.

What they will be interested in, is your training and on-the-job experience, your ability to do the job to the best of your ability to benefit the company and your ability to get along and work with others in carrrying out the various job functions that you might need to do.

Thanks!

It's an outside optical sales job. So selling glasses to the shops that sell glasses. All I have is an email address and the job decsription, it's a Craigslist posting. But the information you've provided me with is very helpful.

Gosh! That was fast, Momma! I've hardly had time to react!

Haha, see... I'm on top of things!! That's a good sign, right?

I just want to add that I like how most of the patrons here refer to me as "Momma"... Makes me feel old and wise!

Oh, and yes they are fictitious. However if my last name were Lastnamington and I lived on Yourmom rd. I wouldn't have altered it.

You are wise, Momma! That goes without really saying that...

Hey! I know why you're so fast! It's because of the wings that you have! :)

How is the ad for the job specifically worded, Momma?

Thanks!

Will be calling on Opticians, Retailers, and Eye Doctors.
Industry experience preferred(Optical), or will also consider Outside sales experience.
Some travel necessary



---forward resume for consideration---

This is what I have changed the body to:

Please accept this correspondence as an indication of my interest in applying for the position of Optical Outside Sales Representative that you have available.


Throughout my career, I have enjoyed working with and meeting people from every background. I'm a people person who enjoys working with and meeting the needs of others.


Please find attached a copy of my resume. I look forward to an opportunity to discuss how my optical experience can be beneficial in serving the needs of your clients.

I did it...

I'm sorry, Momma!

I was just writing my epitaph to Starby and balling my eyes out while doing so! She and I had collaborated together on so many threads and also communicated in other ways...

I'm back now, if you would like to continue with what you need to go for that job.

Thanks!

I can see that you're now offline here, Momma. We can work on this, tomorrow. Now that you've formatted your letter in a different way, there are some things that we can add to it to spice it up and catch their eye.

Thanks!

I've already mailed it. I miss Starby too.

Would you please let me know if you get an interview or not, Momma?

Thanks!

Of course!

Thanks, Momma! If you don't get an interview, or get an interview and don't get the job, then there are some things that we can discuss doing in order to better prepare yourself for getting both your "feet in the door" and having a better chance at landing the next job.

Thanks!

I have a really good job right now, and wasn't really looking for a new one. But I always search job sites for this one and for a caseworker job for the DDD.

I'm glad that you have a really good job right now! It is a good idea to always be preparing oneself for another one in case an even better one presents itself as a possibility.

Thanks!