HI guys,

I've been away for a long time. Well, I can't talk about that now but I can say this, I need information for a girl friend.

SHe has anxiety/panic attacks and says she feels like her heart will explode. As some of you may know, I am pretty familure with such things, however, I've tried many things with her to over come this but nothing works: Deep breathing, singing softly, message/back rubs, talking things out (mind you she usually tells me she can't focuse on any one particular thought, and can't tell me what she is thinking nor feeling.), drinking water, holding her tight, cuddling, gentlly stroking her, getting her to breath with me, trying to focuse on other things like a flower, picture, or what ever. I"m at a loss here.
She doesn't want to go to a counsellor as the last one was a retard and told her she was going to hell, a religious counsellor to be clear on that. That makes things harder, as I"m only capable of helping so far, and I"m the only one she talks to about evrything, and I"m the only one who figured out the truth about just how much abuse she has gone through.
This brings us to the next issue, she was sexually abused by her half sister who is older than her, when she was very young. When she told others about it they were not very kind nor forth coming with the support, till later when some one else spoke out about the same kind of incident happening to them. Later she would date a guy that would smash her in the face with a rifle butt, rendering her unconscious till he took her away from the pit party they were at, and once in a secluded place tide her up, and sexually assulted her.
I found out about this by laying with her one night as she slept and she had told me most of the story except the sexual assult part, but as she acted the whole scean out in her sleep, I figured it all out. Took a long time before she admitted that what I guessed was true, but now I KNow and no one else does. She relives this night terror every so often, thrashing in the night, even punching me and kicking me. She tenses up so bad that she literally vomites, same with her anxieties to, she also gets so worked up that she faints/passes out and drops like a rock to the floor.

I"M at a loss here, and can not seem to find an answer suitable for her. She is going to talk to the doctor tomorrow, which will say meds, and councelling. I"m sure of that, unless she plays it down again, or omits a lot of it out like last time. Any help is much appreciated.

Your's Truly

NESTORIAN

Hi. She does need therapy but how to find the right kind? Sometimes hypnosis can help.are you familiar with reiki healing? It worked well for a friend of mine.good luck.

I am not one for suggesting it but amicon is right, in her case I think she should find a good regression (and/or) hypnotist that deals with things from our past that have taken over our life.

Nice to see you back

Good to be back.

Well here is the thing, she isn't into the Riki nor hypnosis, she wants something more Objective and visible. ALso, she doesn't think hypnosis is an invation on things that are not meant to be messed with.

I"M still working on it though. I"ve managed to talk her into going to the doctor, which her regular doctor is away, but that is a good thing as her regular doc tells her she is over reacting to things. Turns out she is sick with strep through, suffers from Anxiety, possibly Postpardom depression and Night terrors.

She is looking in places I would not depend upon for answers; Meds, and quick fixes. I'm currently taking the little success I"ve gianed, in getting her to the doc, and slowly edging her toward other options, but i must be careful and patient if i"m going to help her help her self.

I'm sure with some meds, and time I can get her to try other things to help herself.

Thanks every one, any other suggestions are appreciated.

Nestorian

Hi Nestorian, welcome back we missed you.

I think that in relationships we need to know when to be the lover and when to be the counselor. I think that you need to be the BF right now, and that your GF's issues are better dealt with by an experienced therapist.

Regardless of her resistance, the sort of problems you describe have to be referred to an experienced psychologist. There can even be some benefit in taking meds for a short time as they balance the personality and make the person more amenable to undertaking counseling or hypnotherapy or whatever.

A good doctor should be able to make a good referral, and as her BF this is what you should be encouraging her to seek. There is no quick fix, as you know, but some types of spiritual healing can also be very effective when combined with conventional 'talk' therapy.

It is good that you are always there for her and are trying to help her. It's sad that she had went though all of those things. She would definitely need therapy to help her work through this, so please encourage her to seek therapy and research professionals that are specialized in this. I wish you both much success

THank you all, and I will continue to do as I have and reasure her that theropy may be the best opption. She does not respond well to aggressive resoning, so I will play it as it comes and see where the cards land until it is time to use other means that may be of more use to her.

PEace be with you all.