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arjunsharma
Aug 16, 2009, 02:49 AM
I am from a middle class family working for an mnc company married for 2 years and have a son who is now 1 year old. My wife is also from a middle class family. Before I could tell my problem, I would like to tell about myself. As a person I am introvert, doesn't go out much with friends, do not smoke or drink in short I am a family oriented person. I have a sister who is married with two kids and live upstairs with her husband and kids. In spite of having many problems, she is paying rent to my parents and never want to depend on my parents financially and is managing her family with her husband. When they both go to work my parents take care of their kids in our house. I don't have any issue with my sister's family living upstairs. Some time back because of some misunderstanding my wife had an argument with my sister and mom and later the issue was resolved. When everybody has forgotten that incident, my wife still feels that she can't behave normally with my sister. Because of which she is not speaking to my sister and doesn't even smile at her. She feels that daughters should never stay with their parents after marriage no matter how difficult the situation is. (My point is that my sister is not staying in our house, she is not dependent... she is staying upstairs with her family and paying rent to my parents as she never want to be dependent). I have spoken about this issue and have told my wife several times that if she can't help my sister at least she can smile and behave normally with her but she doesn't seems to understand this simple thing. My sister has observed my wife's attitude towards her and she has literally stopped visiting our house. I always feel that my wife is a little stubborn because she is the most pampered child at her place. Her parents had once told me that as a child she is used to get angry and would not speak to anybody whenever some one changes the TV channel when she is watching.
I had a fight last night because of her attitude towards my sister and she went on saying she can't stay any longer with me for which I had to raise my voice and told her not to behave like a stupid. I have spoken about this to her parents and they don't seem to understand the reality and looks like they are supporting her daughter. All I want from my wife is to have a smile on her face and caring nature about others. Am I asking too much from her ?

I some time feel that my wife is a little unmatured in her thoughts may be because she is pampered too much from her parents. She jumps to wrong conclusions and later changes her stand on any issue. She feels that our likings doesn't match and hence can't live happily. I have told her several times that in a marriage it's not necessary that the likings of the couple should always match. We have to adjust to our partners as and when required in spite of having different likings.

Can someone help me in dealing with this simple issue with my partner ?

mudweiser
Aug 16, 2009, 03:08 AM
Sounds like you married a two year old.

Have you guys tried any sort of couples counseling, other than this current situation I have a feeling that your wife's behavior is also causing other problems in your marriage.

The first and most important thing you can do is talk to her about. No yelling, cursing, name calling or blaming.
Give her examples of her behavior and how it makes you feel.

Sarah