PDA

View Full Version : Friend with benefits?


mich16_90
Aug 15, 2009, 02:46 AM
It has been 4 months with me and my friend! At first all we were expecting was sex and then we started getting closer! Other friend started think we were in a relationship by the way we acted with each other and I was hoping that would happen and after a month of trying to make this into a relationship, he keeps coming up with excuse of not want a relationship he says he want one but we fight too much and etc. I don't know what to do cause I falling for him hard and no matter what I am going to have to deal with him because I live at the a friends house where he lives! I don't know what to do? My mind is going crazy! He just keeps changing his mind everyday and I can't keep taking this heartbreak but he doesn't want me to go and he does want to work this out! But he says he will talk and then we never do and when I try it is when he sleeps and he gets mad at me and we just get in a fight what should I do? Help me?

ChihuahuaMomma
Aug 15, 2009, 03:14 AM
Please use better grammar, it's easier to read.

A little quote comes to mind, "Who wants the milk when they can have the cow for free?" What incentive does he have to get into a relationship with you? You're giving him what he wants without a commitment.

adam_89
Aug 15, 2009, 03:35 AM
True like ChihuaMomma said.

He probably doesn't want to complicate things more. If you are living with each other now and then you do become serious and say you break up with him then one of you would want to move out and it just complicates things.

talaniman
Aug 15, 2009, 10:18 AM
Mighty hard to build something that has started as just sex. Cut the benefits, and back away from trying to have a relationship with a sex buddy.

I don't care what he says about working things out, you don't have anything to work out, not even "benefits", since its obvious thats all he wanted anyway. At least that's what his actions say.

ChihuahuaMomma
Aug 15, 2009, 11:27 AM
You're convenient to him. You give it up without commitment. And he doesn't even have to go that far as you're living together. I would suggest setting a steadfast sex rule for yourself, for instance I don't engage in sex until three months into the relationship. That way there's actually an emotional relationship before there's a sexual one. Not only that, but you weed out the losers, a real man who wants a real relationship will wait three months for it. My boyfriend and I were friends for alotta years before dating, and we still had our three month period, because I wanted to see if he was serious about changing the dynamics of our relationship. And you know what? It's been amazing. Sex is SO much better when you love the person that you're having sex with and they love you back. Making love is better than having sex.

liz28
Aug 15, 2009, 11:42 AM
The true of the matter is that he doesn't want a relationship with you and he proves that right time after time with his actions and words. Listen to what he say to you and stop trying to turn it into something you want it to be.

He doesn't control you so you should go out whenever you want and start meting people instead of staying stuck. He isn't your man!!

I don't know your fiancial situation but maybe it is best for you to find another place to rest your head. I don't think the two of you can live under the same roof.

Time for you to move on and realize the only thing you had with him was friends with benefits. Having sex doesn't mean the two of you will become one especially when he doesn't want that so stop trying to push him.

Go out and find someone for you and never put yourself in a situation you can't handle.