My ex and I started dating about 6 months ago. We both met at a job interview and weren't really going to talk to each other but her friend told her to not be shy and talk to me. She had gotten out of a relationship 5 months before with a person she was so sure was the one. They were moved in and trying to have a kid. I know I wasn't the rebound because she had a person in between us that treated her like .

We started just as friends for a month hanging out everyday looking for jobs together, having a good time. We would go to movies together and have fun. And I wasn't really ready to kiss her because I have extreme rejection issues. But I really liked her. I kept trying myself to. So one day I dropped her off at her house and she texted me saying, "You wanted to kiss me didn't you? I don't know if I am ready yet." So I respected that. Then we seemed to have the perfect night and after I dropped her off she texted me saying, "You should have" after she went inside and I already drove away. So I turned the car around without saying anything to her and pulled outside her house. I told her to come outside and she didn't know what to do. But she did come outside and we had the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced.

She was all giddy with her friends about us and how we felt for each other. She would constantly have to lead me to do everything after I showed I was interested. Because she was my first serious relationship. We spent almost everyday together, and I don't really have that many friends. Well not any friends I can trust. And neither does she. She has been through a lot in life and so haven't I. She warned me in the beginning of the relationship that she still kind of had feelings for her ex and wasn't sure if she wanted to get serious so soon. But I insisted and was persistent.

Her and her ex used to fight all the time. About how she had an eating disorder and he would try to change that about her. And she fought about him about how he smoked and treated her when he was around her friends. She didn't feel comfortable with the family life because she never experienced it fully as a child. And she wasn't comfortable around his friends. She wouldn't be herself.

We were having so much fun together and she would run into her ex every once in a while and just say hi and move on. She was attacking me like crazy but I wasn't really attacking her back. I was afraid to fall in love with someone just for them to leave me again. But I still entertained her every once in a while. Then we had sex one night I felt I was ready and she told me she wasn't sure about it, but I was persistent. I was ready. After three months of dating I didn't feel like she was better then me, so I would attack her back. But it was already too late because she started fading away.

It was amazing. She kind of stopped attacking me about three months into us going out, because she told me she felt like I wasn't attracted to her. Like I didn't like how she looked. She has always had self-confidence issues. Whenever she would come out of the shower she would just stand there and I wouldn't do anything but wait for her to get changed. I didn't really compliment her a lot because I am not used to complimenting people or getting complimented. But I thought she was beautiful. I don't think words mean as much as actions. So I would write her songs and make her etched mirrors about how beautiful she was and how she made me feel. I always thought she was beautiful. I knew she was with me but I still felt like she could reject me even though we were going out. I always have had problem keeping an erection because they would randomly go away during foreplay or sex. And she thought it was because I wasn't attracted to her.

About three months into the relationship we were still happy together but I could tell she would still think about him every once in a while. This is when she would second guess our relationship together. She always showed that she loved me but she could never tell me that. Like when I sprained my wrist and passed out she was all nervous and rushed me to the hospital even though I told her no. When I ended up getting lost in her town after leaving her house for a little bit to go get something and it took forever to come back to her house. When I got there, she was crying because she was afraid something happened to me.

We never fought in our relationship. Like I said before I don't really have friends so whenever she would go out I would always stay home and she knew that. So she probably felt as if she was obligated to always invite me because she felt bad. I don't mind if she hangs out with her friends. We would never do anything in the relationship to upset one another. And one night we were both drunk and I accidentally told her I loved her. I felt that I loved her, just wasn't sure yet. But I said it and that is when she started to pull herself away. This so happens to be the time when her ex started to talk little talk with her, like "how was your day" or "ty weather we are having huh?". But whenever she is with me she will ignore him but I can tell she is still thinking about him. Whenever she wouldn't think about him she was truly happy. After I told her that I loved her, she told me that I couldn't because she was my first girlfriend and that we might not last forever.

She tried for the next two months to force herself to fall in love with me but couldn't. She can't fall in love with me because she still had feelings of love for him. But she still loved me. We weren't really spending nights together just hanging out, cuddling, etc. She really didn't love herself either. Then 5 months into our relationship she started talking to me that she is happy but can't forget about him or that she can't fall in love with me. She would never lie to me and I would never lie to her. So she started exercising the idea that we were going to break up and I was trying so hard to keep her with me because she made me feel special. I could have been happy with her without the sex. Then I thought about it and told her that it is her decision to make. I can't force her to stay in the relationship and I told her that she needs to make her decision by a certain deadline. On that day she told me that she wanted to break up to help her find herself. She told me that she was broken and needed time to find herself. And she cries for me. She wouldn't hurt a soul, but she felt like if we kept forcing it, I would end up getting hurt more farther down the road. I feel like this is the only way it will be if she can ever find it in her heart to open up to me. I asked if she was scared when I told her that I loved her. And she told me of course she was. She had something perfect with her ex and still that ended. He told her that he had to go live his life and never gave her closure.

That was always bugging her not getting closure from him. She would talk to me about it but is always afraid to cry in front of people. But she has cried in front of me. I have cried in front of her. I have told her secrets I have never told anyone, even my parents. And she isn't comfortable telling people stuff but she told me secrets too. That only I and her best friend know. She started hanging out with her ex not because of him but he took her cat that she saved away from her. And she loves that cat to death. The day after we broke up he tried to kiss her and she rejected him. She asked me after, "Why did I reject the one that I was so sure was for me?" And I asked her if it was because of me. She replied with a, "I don't know..."

She told me there were many reasons as to why we broke up. She said maybe it just wasn't meant to be, that she was broken and couldn't love again yet, she was scared, that I never complimented her, I never showed interest in her that she showed in me until she was already walking away. She can't tell me that we won't get back together either. She tells me she just needs space and time. Nothing like a NC though.

I kept on trying to get her back even though she was gone. We would cuddle together even after being broken up, just as friends. She couldn't even tell her friends that we were breaking up. Her friends loved me and I loved her friends. Before we broke up she made me promise that I will always be there for her. And I made her promise the same. And then we both cried that night. She didn't want to hurt me.

Now she tells me that I should go out into the world and look for someone that will love me like I love them. She tells me to see other girls but I don't know if she means it. She tells me she wouldn't know if she would be happy for me or would be jealous. And whenever a girl would talk to me and tell me I can do better then her, she would get all upset. Now that we are broken up she can look at me and tell me that she loves me. That she enjoys the time we have together. Just that we spent an unhealthy amount of time together. Like she was all my life.

I ignored her for about two days when her phone was broken and she would constantly text me from her friends phone or call me when she was on break. Ask what I did that day, who I was with. If I had fun. I am beginning to accept that she needs time alone if she will ever ask for a second chance. Should I give her a deadline? Ask her by a certain time to tell me if she made a mistake or if she is happy the way it is. I talk to her about how now she has the time she needs to miss her ex and me. And she replies with, "What? Time to go crazy?" She would hang out with her ex and tell me that he seems like a complete stranger to her now. That she doesn't know if she can ever love him again. And she would always text me when she is with him. When it is me and her watching a movie she will ignore him completely. She invited me to move down to Florida with her mother down there just as friends to support one another. Not as a relationship aspect. She got all upset when we broke up putting up statuses saying she has no idea what she is doing right now.

Would it be best to support her and show her I am there without being too needy? Just being patient and waiting for her? Or should I give her the NC which I brought up the idea with her and she told me that she would hate me and never talk to me again. We have changed each other. Before I met her I was in bad shape but she kept me in school and pushed me to succeed. And so did I with her.

I asked if she needed all my bull about me crying to her because I have no one else to talk to. If she would be better of me leaving her. And she told me that she wouldn't. She told me I am helping her realize that she just might be beautiful and that she needs time to figure it all out. I am fine with being friends with her right now as long as we are still close. She tells me that a friendship might bring us closer then we ever could have been in a relationship. She almost told me her biggest secret the other day, something she has never told anyone. Because she feels as if she doesn't have to worry about being judged or looked down upon by me.

What should I do? She is the love of my life. She is all I could ever dream of. All I could ever ask for. She is beautiful in every aspect. She always gives to people and never asks for anything in return. She has the kindest heart in the world. I told her I love her because she is who she is, not anyone else out there that is a fake. Following every other step that people take trying to be popular. Of course I know she has flaws but I see past them. I won't ever try to fix her. But she doesn't really display the flaws when she is with me. I would always make her eat with me, and she would make me eat with her. I love her to death and would do anything for her. I just want her to come back because I felt a feeling with her I have never felt with anyone before. It was an instant connection between us that she felt like we needed to try. She says the connection is still there, just she doesn't feel it is for her. Should I give her all the time she needs, without me dating. I can still go and live my life. Have fun with friends.

Me and her can still hang out just us two without it being weird. Her friends would ask her if it was weird and she said it is only weird if you make it weird. Yesterday we drove to the beach holding hands in the car at 2 am and stayed there on the bench listening to the waves until 4 am. We barely said a word, just held each other close. A couple nights ago she was drunk and I went there to take care of her and her friend. I brought her friend home and slept with my ex until she fell asleep. But she tried to kiss me on the lips. And I rejected her saying I can't take advantage of her state, and wasn't sure if she was ready.

I asked her yesterday if she would tell me when she was ready to try again. And she told me of course she would. She wouldn't leave me guessing every minute we have together if I can kiss her or not. If she didn't love me she would have told me that we weren't going to have a second chance right? Any advice to any of the questions would be greatly appreciated...

There is a quote I live by...


"Love isn't finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

I felt like she was perfect...

Your really do need a life without her, and you both need to grow as individuals. That's the only way you can have a healthy relationship. Right now, from what you have written, its not happening, second chance, or not.

"Love isn't finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
Where does this quote come from please?