My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and lived together for two. I initially broke up with him as I thought the grass would be greener and thought I could do better and the relation ship had become stale. We still lived together whilst sorting out the flat for the last two months, but were not together in a relationship. Then we decided to get back together and I realised I missed him and actually realised our relationship was good. We decided a 6 month break from living together would be good idea and we moved out and said we would start dating each other again and planned to move back in together in 6 months time. So we were back together for about a month until I went on holiday.


I came back and during this time he bumped into a friend, another woman. I think he begin seeing her behind me back to start with, then about a week after I returned told me it was over and we could not get back together as he needed space and it wasn’t working. I eventually found out he actually was seeing someone else. We have had lots of rows and I have made some mistakes begging him to try again, as at the time I didn’t know he had met someone because he hid it from me. Anyway it turns out he is seeing a women 15 years older than him, he is 31 and I am 25, So she is 20 years older than me! This woman is also his mate’s aunty, she is the mutton dressed as lamb type and been through lots of men. He seems to have really fallen for her, thrown himself into the relationship, they spend lots of time together and fallen out with a few friends over it.


During the month of him hiding her to me, we spoke regularly on the phone as I didn't know about her, he would come round and see me, and when I sent a lovely letter he said he cried reading it, he said he cares about me so much, I deserve better than him, I am beautiful, and still loves me but not in love with me, thinks about me all the time, misses me like crazy, and wants to be friends, but said were not right together. I have been dating other people since, which he knows about and was not happy about at all. I sent him an email saying I was happy for him, wished him luke and said maybe friends in the future, he said that he understands and it's the right think to do now but is really sad.

My question is do I peruse trying to get him back? Or am I wasting my time has he moved on? They seem to be spending a lot much time together, Im not sure if this is just because it’s a new relationship, she is an older, successful women, mothering him, a bit of excitement, and when the honeymoon phase wares off will he come running back? Or shall I just give up for now and let them carry on and make a go of it and hopefully will get bored of each other in 6 months? :confused:

It has been two weeks since we have last spoken, I haven’t contacted him since, and seven weeks since we split up.


I really really appreciate any advice.

I think your relationship was damaged before the other woman.
Whenever your relationship is moving backwards, i.e. living together and moving out for six months, your relationship is nearing an end.
You were just in denial of that fact.
It's too bad that when people get bored they end up doing unrepairable damage to their relationship.
Walking away for greener pastures will only demolish the relationship that you have.
He is seeing someone new, doesn't matter her age, who she is related to, it is his life.
It is definately past time to move on with your life. Besides the fact that you don't have a choice, he has already moved on with his.