How do you deal with a pre teen son with attitude?

Can you be a little more specific?

Prior to the specifics I can suggest is: Communication, love, patience and prayer. He will come around. Pre teen is almost worse than teens in some children, only because they are so caught off guard with the onset of changing hormones. Once they start to get to 15.5-16 it starts to even back out a little. Are there more issues than the common hormonal changes? What are you experiencing?

Give him a fair amount of personal space and time because he needs it, but also make a point of staying connected. Don't force him to spend the evening with the family every day - he needs the down time. Let him sleep in some on the weekends - these kids are growing so fast and they need more sleep. They can be like toddlers and really crabby if they don't get enough sleep.

As you did when he was little, find things you can do together that are fun so that all your interactions aren't over what he should have done, didn't do, whatever. My son and I enjoyed going to the driving range, bowling, swimming and playing basketball (I'm a single mom). Doing active things with boys, you might find they are more comfortable talking to you than if you are having them sit in the living room with you - and a lot of boys and men seem to talk more easily in the car for some reason.

I also found when my son was a pre-teen that if I doled out chores on a Saturday it was just terrible to get him to do it, but he enjoyed working with me - we'd clean each room of the house together and have these great talks. Again, doing something together made it easier for him to talk openly.

Also try to make your home a place where his friends are comfortable and welcome - if you know your child's friends, you will have a much better idea of the direction your child is going.

For outright rudeness, use consequences like lost privileges, and expect an apology before that privilege is restored. Set boundaries and be consistent with them - in my house, it's no cell phone or headphones at the table; no takign calls when we're in the middle of a conversation (I don't answer my phone, either - it has to go both ways); and anything requested in a rude way is an automatic "no" response from me.

HOpe that helps!