PDA

View Full Version : My 19 yr old daughter left home and won't talk to me


debster66
Aug 8, 2009, 02:25 PM
About 3 and a half months ago I came home from work to an empty room and note. My daughter packed her things and moved out on me. It was the worst day of my life. We had a great relationship, never argued and she was a great girl until she met this 29 yr old woman at college. My daughter is gay which is no big deal, but I had issues with the 29 yr old. Not so much as her age or because she was gay, but because she was very disrespectful to the family and her and my daughter spent every single waking moment together that she could. We used to do lots of things together and she pushed me and the family aside. I figured since I was paying for her college that I had a right to know how her grades were. She would give me a hard time about that. It got to the point where I would wake up at 6am on the weekdays and my daughter would be gone to see her girlfriend before school, and I wouldn't see her the WHOLE day and she would come home around midnight. So during the last three months of her living at home she just slept here for a few hours and that was it. She complained about being home, wanted to keep her stuff at the house and move in with the girlfriend, live rent free both places and come and go as she pleased. That didn't sit with me well, and we got in a big fight. Three weeks after that fight she moved out. I have tried to email her and I called her once. We went on family vacation without her for the first time this summer and it was hard. I sent her something little to let her know I was thinking about her along with insurance papers she had to fill out (I have to cover her until she graduates college next year). I asked if she got the papers and she sent me the nastiest email that she didn't appreciate the gift (even though she never mailed it back) and she was happy and to leave her alone, and she didn't know when she wanted to talk to me again. I think about her every day, and cry every night not knowing when we will ever talk again. My heart is broken, I feel like I lost not only my daughter but my best friend. :(

ChihuahuaMomma
Aug 8, 2009, 02:56 PM
You have to give her some space. She's rebelling right now, and if you jump down her throat she's just going to stop responding to you all together.

I suggest just letting her do her thing, and once she realizes she's choosing a relationship over family then maybe she'll snap back.

HelpinHere
Aug 8, 2009, 03:04 PM
Also, think about that last think you said.

She is your daughter, nothing is going to change that. Friends are there to have fun and be happy with her. A mother is there to care for her, provide for her, and raise her.

You aren't supposed to give her what she wants, you are supposed to give her what she needs.

juniebee
Nov 14, 2009, 03:43 PM
Your daughter is not your best friend! Thinking that is why you are in the situation now. No matter what relationship your daughter is in or with whom, you would not approve. Let her learn for herself if this girl is good enough for her. Your daughter probably feels since you do not like her friend, that she will punish you and the rest of the family. Try inviting them both out for lunch on neutal ground. You do not have to like this girl, but be pleasant. Remember, tell your daughter that you love her and that you will always be there for her. Give her some space.