How long does an ex wife have the right to collect alimony and is there a way to change custodial parent to the father who's sharing equal time of the kids in his apartment while she's in the home and not spending the child support on the children.

Each state is different regarding alimony. Alimony is not automatically granted either. If any alimony is awarded it is basically what they call "rehabilitative alimony" and only lasts a few years. Alimony is based on how many years parties married, if the wife worked outside the home or not, the children involved, all sorts of things come into play when there is alimony involved. The divorce paperwork will contain the length and amount of alimony to be paid.

As for the custody problem, this must be changed by the Judge.

Just want to add that the custodial parent (or the one getting child support) is entitled to spend the money on whatever s/he chooses and unless the child is neglected (a criminal offense) it will not be recognized as a complaint by the court.