View Full Version : I think this man is a stalker
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:06 PM
For the past few months I have walked passed this mans house to go to my nearest corner convenient store and whenever I walk past this man in his late 30s early 40s comes out and hugs me. I have never talked to this guy in my life and he just comes up and hugs me and such and I don't really like it. This one day I was walking to school by myself and he came up behind me and said "Hey I knew it was u i noticed your backside and I knew it looked familiar" and then he followed me to school and offered to buy me a drink or something and I told him no.. So he went in the store and I ran away from him.. He knows everything about me including my name address even my phone number and he even sometimes just hugs my best friend who lives right on his corner and a few people have told me he is a pedofile and some people including me and my parents thinks he has mental issues.. I could be walking past his house with my mother and 2 sisters and this guy doesn't come out and touch me only when I'm by myself he comes out.. If I'm walking past with my boyfriend or my sister or my best friend he doesn't come out.. Idk what I should do I don't know how he knows everything about me I have never talked to him nor has anyone in my family and my friends don't even know this guy he has no friends or family.and possibly he may have mental issues.. But I don't know what I can do to avoid him I've tried everything.I'll even walk past his house and he comes out and calls me and he even dodges cars just to run over to me and hug me and he's always trying to touch me and such like he plays with why hair, calls me beautiful and tis kind of creepy and I think he might be a stalker.. Some people don't think he's a pedofile because he babysits little kids but the father of the little kids he babysits is one of my friends brothers and he thinks he's a pedofile and after hearing rumors about him and the stuff he's said to me he won't let him babysit his kids anymore.. >There was even this one time this guy came to my house and called me until I came out and he wouldn't leave me alone because he wanted to see if I was OK because he hadntt seen me in a few days and I thought it was creepy because at the same time I was dressing in my room right by my window and I didn't know he was out there and I don't know if he saw me and I didn't mean to dress in front of my window I didn't think anyone could c me I was looking for a shirt in my dresser and I had nothing but a bra and pants on and I don't know if he saw me... There was this one time he saw me after me being sick for a few weeks where he said "My u look beautiful if only you were two years older you would be legal and the things i would do to you" I'm kind of cared by this guy and everyone tells me there is nothing the cops can do if I call them and he has mental issues because this one time this lady worked at the convenient store and supposedly said he was a pedofile so he threatened to kill her and threw a rock at the window of the store at the lady and broke it and the cops didn't arrest him or anything... idk what I should do I need some advice I haven't tried to call the cops and I don't know if I should or anything or should I wait until he actually does something.. Im like afraid to go out of my house because he's wherever I am at thee only places he's not at is when I'm there is when I'm with someone, or at my boyfriends house or at my friends house and its creepy this guy I don't know what to do and it scares me because I'm afraid he might try to do something to me someone please help me. I really think this man is a stalker and I don't know what to do to keep him away from me Ive read some things and if someone has mental issues there is nthing that can be done and you can't even put a restraining order out on them and I'm really scared for my life I don't want to get raped, or kidnapped or killed or anything.. I have talked to my parents about this guy and I have even cried to them about this and they tell me there is nothing we can do and they tellme just ignore hima and when I do he just comes after me and he hugs me and stuff evne when I push him away... During the winter I would take the bus to schoo because my school was two miles away from my house and that was the only transportation I had then and he lived right near a bus stop so he would come down to my bus stop and wait for the bus and he would sit next to me on the bus and bunch of old people know him and stuff and he's kind of nice but I just am afraid and its creepy I don't see why he can't wait by his bus stop his bus stop is closer than mine he walks an extra block just to come to my corner just to stalk me.. My mom says maybe he's not a stalker but my friends do and I do after they heard this same story and it happens like 6-7 times a week.. Like if I don't come out of my house around his way at all he will walk down my street just to try and look in my bedroom window.. Idk how he knows all of this information about me like which bedroom is mine and everything my mother doesn't know him and she won't talk to him nor will my younger sister who is a year younger than myself he doestn talk to them he torments me and just tells my baby sister to tell me hi and such and I don't like it and its creepy and there is nothing gwe can do and he's not on any website I've looked.. and I'm home with my sisters most of the time because I have a sickly ill father and he's in and out of the hospital and he goes to dialysis 3 days of the week and he's blind and my mother works a crazy schedule so she's in and out of the house all hours of the day and night because she's an asistant manager and this guy knows where my mother works and he's never been o n that side of town and my mother won't talk to him or even say hi to him and he asks my how come my mother and sister don't talk to him and I don't want to be mean and say cause they don't like you so I make up some lame excuse and say they don't talk to people they don't know and he called my mother stuck up the one time cause she wouldn't talk to him he said she just walks passed with her nose in the air and my mother is far from ignorent.. and my mom might end up kicking this guys or something and I know she will do it to whenever something happens I tell my boyfriend and he gets mad saying he will beat the guy up and I don't want him or my mothe or anyone else getting involveed because if this guy gets locked up I don't want him to come after me when he gets out and I don't want to have to go through all these court things or anything because he appears to be one of those people who lie about everything and I don't know what I should do and he's just plain creepy I don't know how but he had a girlfriend and she left him and he just hasn't left me alone and he talks to me as if I'm an adult and its just plain creepy that he knows everything about me and I don't know how no one I know knows who he is because I ask them all and tell them about him and I don't talk to that many people either.. its just weird and it makes no sense of all people why me.. I mean my best friend is very slutty and I'm more of a christian girl and he comes after me but not her I just can't put two and two together something isn't right I try to avoid him wherever I'm at but he runs after me and stuff and he even dodges cars just to get to me and a bunch of people say he's a pedofile and/or a rapist and I think so too and I don't want anything to happen to me
N0help4u
Aug 6, 2009, 03:11 PM
He is creepy and you need to get with your friends that he does this to and any witnesses and report him.
If he is on the child pedophile site they will do something. If he isn't they need to do something.
I will look for a site you can check to see if he is on there
twinkiedooter
Aug 6, 2009, 03:11 PM
Have you discussed this guy with your parents? I don't care if he has 20 kids of his own and/or babysits. The guy is a pervert. He is definitely stalking you. Your parents need to take you down to the nearest police station and complain about this guy's inappropriate behavior. I shudder to think what his next move on you is going to be. He needs to be stopped now, before he hurts you or rapes you.
N0help4u
Aug 6, 2009, 03:20 PM
Here is the link BUT even if he isn't on here does not mean he is not a pedophile
He would just be an UNcaught one
childsearch.us: Pedophiles (http://childsearch.us/site1/pedophiles.html)
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:27 PM
Thank you for that link but idt he will be on there I mean I don't know if anyone else has experienced this from this guy but he is very creepy
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:28 PM
I don't even know his name or anything I just know where he lives annd looks like and he's a pretty big dinky looking man
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:31 PM
You he was not on that website I found out from my neighbor what his first name is and she thinks he has mentalk problems he goes on her porch and talks to her sometimes
Alty
Aug 6, 2009, 03:32 PM
You said in your post that your mother is aware of this, why hasn't she done anything about it?
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:33 PM
Me and my sister were going to set him up and see if we can get him in the act but were not sure how to do this.. He doesn't come out if somenoe is with me and he knows who everyone is that I talk to which is really only my best friend and boyfriend
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:34 PM
My mother doesn't know what to do and I don't like bothering her with this stuff to beg her to do something because she's always stressed out like I said she works hectic schedules and my father is very sick and she has enough on her plate
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:35 PM
Thank you all for taking the time to read my posts if you have anymore advice it will be very appreciated
Alty
Aug 6, 2009, 03:36 PM
my mother doesnt kno what to do and i dont like bothering her with this stuff to beg her to do something because shes always stressed out like i said she works hectic schedules and my father is very sick and she has enough on her plate
I thought you lived with your mother and uncle. How does your fathers sickness affect her?
Also, she's your mom, it's her job to keep you safe, no matter how hard she's working or how stressed she is.
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:39 PM
Well he basically my uncle is my father figure since my real dad walked out on us and his brother was always there helping out with us and him and my mother are engaged it's a long story about that.. so I call him my father sometimes and I know its her job and she does but the only thing she can think of is to kick the guys and we've talked to counselors and they told us that if he has mental problems he won't stop and we can't do anything not even restraining orders against him
Alty
Aug 6, 2009, 03:41 PM
well he basically my uncle is my father figure since my real dad walked out on us and his brother was always there helping out with us and him and my mother are engaged its a long story about that..so i call him my father sometimes and i know its her job and she does but the only thing she can think of is to kick the guys and weve talked to counselors and they told us that if he has mental problems he wont stop and we can't do anything not even restraining orders against him
What have the police said?
If you mentioned it in your original post, sorry, I couldn't get through the whole thing, it was one long run on sentence and my eyes don't work that way.
N0help4u
Aug 6, 2009, 03:42 PM
Ask them what happens if he rapes you or something because nothing could be done.
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:44 PM
I'm srry we haven't told the police there was a police officer who I have asked and they said the same thing if he has mental issues nothing can be done and I said what if something happens to me then they said that's when they will take control until then nothing can be done
Alty
Aug 6, 2009, 03:52 PM
im srry we havent told the police there was a police officer who i have asked and they said the same thing if he has mental issues nothing can be done and i said what if something happens to me then they said thats when they will take control until then nothing can be done
I don't believe that. Nor do I believe that nothing can be done if he has mental issues, that's bull.
Mental issues or not, he has to live by the law and the law states that he cannot have unwanted physical contact with anyone, much less a minor!
If he's touching you, making sexual comments to you, then he is not abiding by the law.
If your mother doesn't go to the police and tell them what's going on, in my opinion, that's child neglect.
Waiting until he actually rapes you, that's not an option. You have the right to walk to school without being sexually harassed. I'd really like to talk to the police man and consellor that gave you this advice, why they are employed I don't know.
If your mother won't take you to the police to report this, then call CPS, she doesn't deserve to be your mother!
I don't care how busy or stressed she is, she has to protect you, that's her job and the police have to do something because that's their job.
If your friends have witnessed this and been exposed to this, there are your witnesses. You also mentioned a neighbor of his that is uncomfortable with his behavior.
This won't end by itself.
N0help4u
Aug 6, 2009, 03:55 PM
Unfortunately the way the laws are written they really can't do anything until there is a crime committed and often things like this aren't considered a crime for some reason.
I would keep pushing it though until something is done.
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:56 PM
Sometimes I don't even tell my mother this because she knows it happens I choose not to bother her with it and no she is not neglecting me at all just because she hasn't called the police she was the one who was talking to that police officer in front of me there was a fight one night and some police came and my mom went up to one and started telling him my situation and then since then she asks other people whom she works with if they know anything that can be done
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 03:58 PM
I know this won't end I been in counseling for almost 8 1/2 months for this because I've tried to commit suicide so the guy would leave me alone and everyone tells me that nothing can be done until he does something I don't get this
N0help4u
Aug 6, 2009, 04:02 PM
Can you walk a different way or get some guys in your class to walk with you?
Have you tried telling this guy that he needs to leave you alone?
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 04:05 PM
I've tried to tell him to leave me alone I even push him away but he just can't take a hint my sisters have even threatened him a few times and one time itold him to get away from me or I'm calling the cops he just walked away that time and he followed me to school one time but is everywhere else I'm at when I'm not in a house and none of my friends really live by me and I rl;y can't walk another way especailly when walking to my store its all opened over there and walking around the block his house is still there
angelbaby93
Aug 6, 2009, 04:09 PM
U both have been great help thank you very much and I will keep pushing the issue until something is done about this man.. I just don't want him to get arrested and then get let out of jail and come after me or if he isn't found guilty somehow
mermaid moon
Aug 9, 2009, 05:49 PM
Get some mace, tell him you have something for him and spray him till he falls on the ground then kick him in the face.
asking
Aug 9, 2009, 06:05 PM
1) you need to get the attention of your mother and impress upon her that you feel in danger from this man. Tell her you need to talk to her and lay it all out in detail. Remind her how long it's been going on and that it is getting worse. You are being regularly molested, stalked, sexually harassed, and intimidated by this man.
2) Ask her to go to the police with you to file a complaint. Bring at least one friend who has seen this happening, or even two.
3) If the police do not take you seriously and act on your behalf, find an attorney. If your parents can't afford an attorney, there are many who will work pro bono (free) or find a local legal aid society (who also provide free legal advice).
4) Find a women's shelter and tell them what has been happening to you and ask them to give you advice about what to do. They should know how things work in your area. Make sure that you tell everyone you talk to that this man is stalking you, touching you, and sexually harassing you and you are afraid he is going to attempt to rape you soon.
Make sure you mother supports you in this. She's stressed, but this is more important and you need to get her attention. You have a right to have her stand by you in this. Also, get help from your sisters too if that helps you.
Gemini54
Aug 9, 2009, 06:32 PM
Get some mace, tell him you have something for him and spray him till he falls on the ground then kick him in the face.
Um, sorry, but this is going to make things MUCH worse. Firstly, she could be changed with assault and secondly he could get REALLY angry before or after and do her a great deal of harm.
When dealing with someone that is not mentally healthy - you DON'T get violent with them.
Bad, bad advice.
angelbaby93
Aug 9, 2009, 06:38 PM
Thank you all for your advice one more thing I would like to say is that my mother says I lead him on because ths man will say hi to me and I feel like if I don't say hi to him back that he will try to hurt me somehow I don't know how that's leading someone on
asking
Aug 9, 2009, 06:44 PM
It is not your fault. You have been trained to be nice.
However, your mother has a point in that you should not talk to him or be friendly. At this point, I understand your concern about retaliation. I personally think it is a legitimate one. You need to get help as soon as possible. However, if it feels safe, tell him not to touch you or talk to you anymore. Try to get someone to keep you company when you are outside until you get more help. You are right to take this seriously. Get someone else to go to the store until it's safe for you.
And in the future, you do NOT need to say hi back to any weirdo who approaches you. Practice being unfriendly. :)
We are all rooting for you here.
Ren6
Aug 9, 2009, 07:01 PM
It is not your fault. You have been trained to be nice.
However, your mother has a point in that you should not talk to him or be friendly. At this point, I understand your concern about retaliation. I personally think it is a legitimate one. You need to get help as soon as possible. However, if it feels safe, tell him not to touch you or talk to you anymore. Try to get someone to keep you company when you are outside until you get more help. You are right to take this seriously. Get someone else to go to the store until it's safe for you.
And in the future, you do NOT need to say hi back to any weirdo who approaches you. Practice being unfriendly. :)
We are all rooting for you here.
I would say to him this... "I do not want to speak to you. Any contact you have with me from now on will be considered harassment, and I will report it as such." Then, report him if he attempts to communicate with you. Also, I would avoid his street. Good luck... I know first hand what this is like.
angelbaby93
Aug 10, 2009, 07:40 AM
I told him to leave me alone when I saw him this morning coming up my street while I was waiting for my mother to come home from work and he came over to me and said hi so I said please leave me alone I don't want to talk to you and he said but why that's not nice and then I walked in my house shut and locked my door and he tried to come inside but when my dog barked at him and he saw her trying to go through the window he ran away
N0help4u
Aug 10, 2009, 07:44 AM
Have you asked him why is he bothering a minor. Does he have family or relatives that you can tell them what he is doing?
asking
Aug 10, 2009, 08:05 AM
Have you asked him why is he bothering a minor. Does he have family or relatives that you can tell them what he is doing?
Angelbaby has asked to be left alone more than once. At this point, ADULTS need to become involved. It is not up to angelbaby to deal with this by herself. It is precisely because she appears so vulnerable and unsupported by adults that he is picking on her.
The police should be notified and the family should consult a women's shelter for further advice. This creep is trying to get into her house. He's escalating. His mental illness if any is irrelevant. He's committing crimes. He's stalking her, he's verbally harassing her, and he has repeatedly assaulted her (he touches her without her consent), and now he is actively trying to get into her home? What is that, home invasion? If somebody tried to get into my house, I'd be on the phone to the police so fast...
I don't understand why everyone here is not telling angelbaby to report this to the police. He's ALREADY "done something" again and again and again. He does not need to actually commit forcible rape for them to be involved. If the mother won't act, find another adult. Any adult, even if it's the woman who runs the grocery store. Some adult in the same city has to help you, angelbaby. Go to the police by yourself if necessary and DO NOT tell them it's partly your fault. None of this is your fault.
Earlier it sounded like you had not told him to leave you alone, but you had already and now you've done it again. You've done your part.
How old are your sisters?
N0help4u
Aug 10, 2009, 08:14 AM
I agree her parents need to be the ones to confront him.
As far as reporting it to the police. There have been replies by me and others that police don't do anything until there is physical abuse.
They do not act on verbal or what intent may have been. She (her parents) should probably keep giving the police updates and requesting they try and do something. But often when you keep going to the police they decide to fine the victim as well as the person that is giving them a hard time. These things all do need reported to the police what they will do I don't know, but your parents should insist that they want the police to keep a folder.
I think maybe you should write a journal on everything he dones to you.
Your suggestion of going to a woman's shelter for further advice is a really good idea.
mermaid moon
Aug 10, 2009, 08:14 AM
Ask a police officer to approach him. Wouldn't it be wonderful if an officer would do so, undercover. You need a police report from here to heaven, so get started. This stalker type will not stop. If anyone ever tells you you are in any way responsible, do not believe it. No one teaches women and girls about the stalkers in the world and the damage they do.
When you give a stalker ANY attention, you feed their madness. Being nice or being nasty is all the same to him. There is a word for such diseased characters, erotomania. Maybe my spelling is off, but trust me, it is a delusional disease like psychopath and sociopath. You need to find and read a book called, THE GIFT OF FEAR. It is a wonderful teaching book.
Go to the police. Do it every day. And get an order of protection. Just reading this makes my skin crawl. If the police do not respond go to a women's shelter. Do not stop until someone begins a paper trail of the creep.
Good luck to you.
mermaid moon
Aug 10, 2009, 08:19 AM
Gavin DeBecker's THE GIFT OF FEAR
SURVIVAL SIGNALS
asking
Aug 10, 2009, 08:25 AM
As far as reporting it to the police. There have been replies by me and others that police don't do anything until there is physical abuse.
NOhelp4u, I think you are mistaken about this. In all the places I know, stalking is a crime. Trying to get into someone's house is a crime. Assault is a crime, particularly in combination with all these other things. He has already committed a long list of crimes against this girl. In any case, that's for the police to decide. They need to be made aware of the seriousness of the situation.
These things all do need reported to the police what they will do I don't know, but your parents should insist that they want the police to keep a folder.
Forget folder. They need to arrest this guy and get his attention.
I think maybe you should write a journal on everything he dones to you.
Excellent suggestion. Start it today, using your original post. But break it up into paragraphs and use complete sentences so it's easier for someone to read.
Your suggestion of going to a woman's shelter for further advice is a really good idea.
Yes! That too.
N0help4u
Aug 10, 2009, 08:31 AM
The parents need to stress that he is stalking to the police.
Different states vary
Here is California's stalking conditions
California Law
In California, both criminal and civil laws address stalking. According to the criminal laws, a stalker is someone who willfully, maliciously and repeatedly follows or harasses another (victim) and who makes a credible threat with the intent to place the victim or victim's immediate family in fear for their safety. The victim does not have to prove that the stalker had the intent to carry out the threat.
(a) COURSE OF CONDUCT. Means a pattern of conduct composed of a series of acts over a period which evidences a continuity of purpose.
(b) CREDITABLE [credible] THREAT. Means a threat, expressed or implied, made with the intent and the apparent ability to carry out the threat so as to cause the person who is the target of the threat to fear for his or her safety or the safety of a family member and to cause a reasonable mental anxiety, anguish, or fear.
(c) HARASSES. Means engages in an intentional course of conduct directed at a specified person which alarms or annoys that person, or interferes with the freedom of movement of that person, and which serves no legitimate purpose. The course of conduct must be such as would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, and must actually cause substantial emotional distress. Constitutionally protected conduct is not included within the definition of this term."
Hopefully they can convince the police he falls under these guidelines as a stalker.
angelbaby93
Aug 10, 2009, 12:57 PM
Thank you all for your help I have just contacted the police about this and they have told me that they will send a police officer to patrol in my neighborhood and they will keep a special eye on me and on this man so he staays away from me
N0help4u
Aug 10, 2009, 12:59 PM
That's great. Make sure they keep up on their word and do that. Let them know the approximate times you have to pass his house.
angelbaby93
Aug 10, 2009, 01:21 PM
I will thank you all for your help and have a nice day
N0help4u
Aug 10, 2009, 01:23 PM
Keep us up dated
angelbaby93
Aug 10, 2009, 01:24 PM
I will