Hi there

Last night, I had a few drinks, and Ive had a relapse after two years of being better. My ex girlfriend had cheated on me, I was starting to fall for her. Which is hard for me, as I never let anyone get too close to me any more, but I did this time, and it hurts.

I ended up trying to throw myself off my window ledge, called nhs direct, spoke to them, and all I can remember is having to get the security guard from downstairs, and being restrained from hitting my head on the wall.

They called an ambulance, and I have just made such a prick of myself. I feel so weak, helpless and just useless. All I want to do is apologize for wasting their time...

I know I need help, but I don't want to go back on the pills, I hate the thought that I need something to control my thoughts...

I have an appointment with the doctor this evening, but it's a new doctor as my old one left, so I don't know how I'm going to talk to him about this, it will probably bottle itself back up as soon as I walk in there...

If you truly want to help yourself, and yes, you did sound like a real prick, you will come clean with this new doc and he may have some new and better approaches to your problem. No human being should have to act that way during a crisis. I hope you learn a more mature way of dealing with conflicts.

Is that what you wanted to hear ?

Tick

Its what I need to do, its something that has obviously started building up again since I was on medication, probably came off it too fast, as soon as I felt better I went off them, stopped seeing my shrink and doctor, but I lasted a year and a half without them, so I'm not doing badely I don't think. Although alcahol has pushed it over the edge, its forcing me to talk about it now, and readdress what the problem is...

You should feel fortunate that you have the proublems you do and resources to deal with them that you do there are so many out there right now that have way worse proublems than yours and no one they can turn to for help
No computer
No phone
No car
No doctor
No crisis center
No food
No medication they need to stay alive
I think you get the point

Its what i need to do, its something that has obviously started building up again sinse i was on medication, probably came off it too fast, as soon as i felt better i went off them, stopped seeing my shrink and doctor, but I lasted a year and a half without them, so im not doing badely i dont think. Although alcahol has pushed it over the edge, its forcing me to talk about it now, and readdress what the problem is...

The first step is knowing what the problem is, and you seem to. The next step is dealing with it and becoming a contributing member of society and rising above what you were before. I just hope your new doctor will help you address this situation in the proper way.

Best of luck to you

Tick