My daughter is 15-years old and lives alone with me in Florida. My mom lives down here as well and is very good to my daughter. My daughter is extremely profane towards me and does on occasion raise her hands. I have gone to counseling before and it had helped me. However; my daughter did not join me and she desperately needs to talk and confide in someone.

I am losing it and find I don't even want to go home after work, or live in my own house it has become so intolerable.

My daughter's grades are as atrocious as her mouth and she does not take or allow me to take care of her medically dentally or mentally. She does not help at all around the house and is destructive and inconsiderate. I am clearly at the end of my rope. I have very few friends in Florida. I have contacted the facility where I went for Help in hopes of resuming.

I need some input and feedback on how to deal with the stress of my daughter and my living scenario.

Thanks,
What 2 do... :eek:

My daughter's grades are as atrocious as her mouth
Daughter: F--- Math!
Math Grade: F
Daughter: F--- Science!
Science Grade: F
Daughter: I hate D--- PE!
PE Grade: D
Something like that? Lol

Well, how exactly does she make it unbearable for you to live in your own house?
It's your house. You should be the master of your own domain.

It's time for you to start giving tough love. Take away her cell phone. Don't let her go out. Cut off her internet access. Turn off her phone line. Whatever she revels in, take it away.

At that age, most teenagers think they know everything, and can do anything they want. By letting her, you are only worsening her bad behaivor.

What's that song by the Ramones?

"Beat the Brat?"

I think you need to put your foot down & show your daughter You're the boss, and it's YOUR house, which means YOUR RULES!

She either follows the rules... or you'll send her to a military school. :)

DO IT!

I think both of you have problem
You have a very low self esteem and she is wild as all teens are but she is over the line.
So first you have to take control of your life
You said you have few friends I think you don't go out very much.
Its your house and you should be the master like other people said try to be tough.
And for you have some fun in your life I think it is missing in your life
Take care

Answer a few questions to yourself:-

It is necessary to be strict. But, does u think making her miserable will work?

Why she feels insecure and alone?

Why she is trying to protect herself, when her father is there to take care of her?

What is the reason that, your picture of a "perfect father" is shattered?

You are at the end of your rope, but, what about how she feels?

I think she is more frustrated than you are. She is doing it all to irritate you and get your attention.

Just find out link between you two, which definitely exist. Do things of her interest. Initially she will get irritated and make u feel irritated. But, remember she is your daughter and keep on doing them. She will feel that, u care for her and love her.

I read this post when it first came up and held back I wanted to see the replies it got.
I'm not surprised what I'm reading.
My step-sister was going through hard times with my mom,my mom couldn't handle her and asked my uncle to step in well he cracked the wip causing my sister to run away wich led to her by abducted and killed.I know this was a tragedy and not everyone will end this way but if you crack down on an unruly 15 yr old she's only going to rebel and get worse,there's too much out there for them to run to they think it will make them happy.im still not sure what advise to give but you better be ready for the consequences

Below is a resource link site for free and paid programs for troubled teens in Florida.

If you are being verbally abused and are concerned for your physical safety,then she is committing a crime.

Since she appears to have no fear of you ,you need to tell her you are giving her a week to change (be specific about what you expect) and if she does not get the authorities involved.

It is called tough love and it just may save her life.

If she is heading down a dangerous path and has no respect for authority(beyond what is normal teen angst) she needs to be put in check.

Family Help in Florida (http://www.focusas.com/Florida.html)

Thank you all for your comments.

Few comments, zippit.

my step-sister was going through hard times with my mom,my mom couldn't handle her and asked my uncle to step in well he cracked the wip causing my sister to run away
Well, this should never happen. It's the parents' responsibility to raise their kid well enough so they don't have to have uncle Ron step in with his I-Ron whip. If they start discipline at a young age, then it is much easier and safer to enforce when the kids are more grown.

there's too much out there for them to run to they think it will make them happy
No. The fact of the matter is, there is nothing out there for them to run away to. Kids hear stories and rumors, television, movies, it all is lies about what the real world is like. Then, they run, find that it is nothing like it seemed in that fantasy world of theirs, find comfort in a good soul, and sometimes it turns out that good soul is actually a manipulative shade of a person planning on taking them away to do [insert vulger comment here].
Still, this could be prevented by the parents. Not letting them have free reign at a young age is one thing, but not coddling them; telling them what the world is really like so they know better. Better to scare them than to lose them.

Well thank you for the post
I didn't mean to scare away ANY tough love approach at the same time think about how many changes you went through from 15 to 16 to 17 I think just holding out while not letting her just run all over you could work.
Is there any way you could grab her up and take her on a all day or overnight trip somewhere that would give you a chance to bond and talk with distractions you could call a relative let them know you're coming for a short visit or just get a cheap room in a scenic area and go there?

I'm not going to reply but your wrong

Believe it or not I was just looking into that... Perhaps a motel on the beach over Labor Day weekend, we did that once before and it was nice.

Unfortunately; part of our problem is we have absolutely no family. Mainly deceased.

Military skool!

I was actually considering a motel on the beach over Labor Day weekend. We did this once before and it was very nice. We just did Epcot in April for my birthday and we really, really had a great time. Laughed a lot, so it is possible, maybe Orlando would be a better idea.

Military school and boot camps are not necessarily the answer. The discipline needs to come from me not the school

At this point, your daughter's "feelings" about things are void. She needs to learn respect, and I'm sorry, but the chances of you being able to teach her discipline at this point are slim.

She knows you'll put up with it, because well, you have been for a long time.

Taking her to a beach isn't going to fix the problem. You need to either get the authorities, like Artlady said, or do something, because trying to make her "feel good" about herself after the way she acts is not going to do squat.

Bottom line: your methods aren't working. Sorry to sound harsh, but it's time to bring out the big guns, not the water guns.

im not going to reply but your wrong

Is this aimed at me? Could you please tell me how I am wrong?
Anyway, you did reply telling your opinion.


Military school and boot camps are not necessarily the answer. The discipline needs to come from me not the school

Exactly! Not enough parents realize that!
Can I ask, has your daughter always lived with you?

Always - I have been a single parent all of my daughter's life - my husband passed when she was very young.

well thank you for the post
I didnt mean to scare away ANY tough love approach at the same time think about how many changes you went through from 15 to 16 to 17 I think just holding out while not letting her just run all over you could work.
is there any way you could grab her up and take her on a all day or overnight trip somewhere that would give you a chance to bond and talk with distractions you could call a relative let them know youre coming for a short visit or just get a cheap room in a scenic area and go there??

I think that is an excellent idea.I suspect Mom has tried just about everything.Thats what we do.
I was and am very close to my sons but that did not stop my youngest from being a little hell raiser and out of control when he was a teen.Some of it you do anticipate and just have to struggle through,I totally agree, but verbal abuse and the threat of physical abuse it NOT an option.
All the loving and connecting sometimes is just not enough and you have to bring in a third party to be the voice of calm and reason.
I am very sorry for the tragedy that your family had to live through.

Is this aimed at me? Could you please tell me how I am wrong?
Anyway, you did reply telling your opinion.



Exactly! Not enough parents realize that!
Can I ask, has your daughter always lived with you?

I really don't want to hijack this post debate,its obvious my ideas are conecting

Always - I have been a single parent all of my daughter's life - my husband passed when she was very young.

Once when my daughter was acting out I had a cop come over and talk to her not to threaten her he just pointed out how the road she was taking was going to lead to no-good,and he told her some of the stuff he has seen as far as domestic mothers who didn't care about the kid at all he talked to her for about 45 min. did a real good job you can try that but you might get a officer that's not real good it's a crap shoot

For now; I have decided not to speak with my daughter until she agrees or comes to terms with the fact that she needs to start speaking with a Guidance etc... If she cannot speak respectfully and like a young lady to me she need not speak to me at all. For now; I will keep myself very busy.

I have also decided not to communicate with my mother who tends to undermine me a great deal of the time...

Artlady; I respect your input; please tell me what you think would be a good idea?

Artlady; I respect your input; please tell me what you think would be a good idea?

You mother under minding you is not good and she needs to understand that by doing so she is putting your daughter in a position where she is getting rewarded for unacceptable behavior.That is a crucial issue if Gram is giving her the false impression that her bad behavior is O.K.
.

It is hard raising a teen alone,I had two boys and one gave me quite a bit of trouble.

You have to make the rules clear and also reasonable.

You need to write down your rules and they should cover certain *hot* topics.Curfew,friends,zero tolerance on drugs and alcohol.Dating ,household responsibilities.School attendance and participation.

Then you make it clear as well what the consequence's are if she does not comply with the rules.

You don't go to school and maintain decent grades,you lose your privilege of going out during school nights until you bring your grades up.That is her Main job right now.

Discuss a plan that you both can work with.You have to pick your battles.If she dresses in a way you don't like,that is personal style,I always gave leniency on that one.

Certain things are true deal breakers.She needs to know what they are and you have to stick to your guns if she messes up.

There are many programs for teens who are troubled and they can put her on a type of probation if she does not comply.It is a last resort for many parents because you are essentially getting her involved in the legal system.

It's a rough road,you want to maintain good relations and keep the open honest communication going.You want her to feel free to come to you with any issue but at the same time you have to have parental control.

Disrespect and assaulting you is just outrageous.Perhaps she needs to seek anger management counseling.

I would contact a juvenile justice dept.in your area,I believe I gave you a site link of programs and see what is available.
I don't know if she is using drugs or drinking but there are numerous intervention programs for that and even behavioral problems.

You might want to try to work this out by sitting down and writing down the rules and consequence's and IF that does not affect a change,seek outside help.

I hope she has made a sincere apology to you and sees the errors of her ways.You have older adult children,perhaps getting them to sit down at a family meeting would be a good idea.

If you want to toss some ideas around ,I am usually on line here ,if not there are many Moms and Dads on here who have been in the same boat.
I wish you the best,I know how hard it is to feel you are losing a relationship with your child.

Thanks for your wise input, I truly do appreciate it. No apolgies to date. I will research the help link. It is probably long overdue. At this juncture of the game this is a path if chosen, the only outcome would be the legal system, regardless.

Teenagers need discipline. You need to tell her that you are the boss and not her. She needs to respect you as a person and follow your rules. If she rebels, make the rules even stricter. I know you said she doesn't want to go to counseling but what teenager does? You need to force her to go. Maybe schedule an appointment on the Dr. Phil show

All the programs I have researched thus far are a fortune, does anyone know of any programs that are a bit more economically sound. Dr. Phil's recommendation was $350.00 a day, this program can go as long as 84-120 days. Yikes...

Thank you all for your comments.

And thank you I to am having the same problems and logged on to find women in similar circumstances.. and looked at your answers with some hope also feeling that I'm not the only lone parent of a rude wayward teen... colleen.:)

Military school and boot camps are not necessarily the answer. The discipline needs to come from me not the school

I totally agree Its my problem I created this monster who was once adorable Its me who has to disdipline and get respect back...

Thanks for responding and letting me know that I am not alone. As I have been feeling pretty alone these days. My daughter has since been removed from my house and is temporarily staying with her grandparents what happens after that still remains a mystery.

Keep in touch I am from brighton u.k... south east sussex we can share teen abuse... lol Im colleen SO YOU TALKING TO HER AT ALL..? MY SON IS COMING ROUND TO MY WAY OF THINKING ITS HARD WHEN He's DAD SO WEEAK GIVES HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS AND SIDES WITH HIM...

not really, just check in with my mom on her cell. I did call a little while ago and spoke to her briefly, it winded up with her hanging up on me.

I am a single mom, father is not part of the equation.

Hi, I thought you are a single Father. I really appreciate the input by all.

But, one aspect is left - What is the root cause?

Why she is not having a soft corner for her single mother?

I believe that, relation between a mother and a daughter is an emotional and friendly

Relation. Specially when the mom is single.

At this age, when body and mind go through many changes, kids react this way to get attention.

Try to peep in to her mind and don't send her away from you.

She need you. There can be lots of things going on in her mind. She

Might be creating imaginary situations and your reactions. Thus

Getting angry on you. Take her in your territory, before anybody else can take advantage

Of her emotional imbalance.

Believe me, every time kids are not wrong, sometimes elders also make mistake which they realize after time runs out. All the best.

Unfortunately; having her home is not an option right now. Vulgarity and violence are never acceptable under any circumstances, and they are not welcome in my house, when she learns how to speak like a lady, she may return. For now; her unrulyness is not welcome and won't be tolerated.

Underlying causes are usually detected in therapy. If the person is willing.

She should grow out of it soon. If not then tell her if she doesn't do as you say you'll take something of hers. Does she have a cell phone? If so just take it away untel she does what you want. You can take her to counsling and if she refuses then restrict her even more. She's being selfish. And she needs to know that. Don't say that to her but show her.

I am not in charge of her cell phone but the internet has been removed from the house along with her. School starts on the 24th let's see what happens, perhaps the Guidance Couselor in the school could be helpful

Wow. There is a lot here to consider. But I'll tell you what worked with me (although admittedly I was not near as unruly) But when I did act out, this is what my mother would do.

My mother took my phone

She grounded me

she was the ONLY person to take me where I needed to go (and pick me up).

I had to give her my work schedule and she'd go up and check on me randomly to make sure I wasn't lying about my shifts.

If I had (which I didn't) She would have made me quit my job and been my 24/7 babysitter until I "got my in line".

I was not allowed to be with friends.

(also, screw her bedroom windows shut so that she can not sneak out at night, I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment building so this was not an issue but it helps)


that she feels like she had NO control and she wants it. That's why I acted out. (this was just 3 years ago for me, I'm 19 now) I wanted to just be allowed to go out and do my own thing and be independent when I was not ready for it at all. I resented the fact that I had to answer to anyone.

You really should try to spend time with her outside the home too. I agree with the suggestion earlier that you should take her for an overnight somewhere fun. Talk to her about what's going on. DO NOT press for information, it usually works if you confess something of yourself first. Such as a story of when you were upset by something at school when you were a child. She will be more likely to open up and you can get inside her head and figure out what she is thinking.

Also, DO NOT start accusing her of her behavior outright. Such as "you do this wrong, or you say this to me" She already knows it and will withdraw even more if she feels attacked. She is lashing out about something and it's extremely important that you try to find out what it is.

She may pick up on it and decide she still doesn't want your help in such a way. That's when you really should try to get professional help. (although truthfully she could resent you for that as well)

Just make sure that she doesn't cause any harm to herself. I know it's difficult, but you are her mother and you love her. No matter how she is treating you, try to be supportive and listen first. That could take you farther than you think

There's no easy answer to this question. No matter what you do it WILL be difficult, but no matter what it will be worth it if it works.

Good luck! Let us know if things get better!

Also, I would suggest you take the phone away anyway, even if your mother pays for it. She is YOUR daughter not hers, and if she is spoiling her, she is undermining your authority as the parent. You need to have a talk with your mother as well. She should not be condoning this of her grand daughter. And as her "if i had ever treated you like that as a child what would you have done" Take your daughter back home immediately. Your mother is making things worse for you, although she means well for your daughter, she could be causeing more harm than good.

I thank you for your insightfulness into the pathology of a teen. I have considered an away trip and still am, I am mulling. In some of my last postings I mentioned that I went to orlando with her in April and that did go well. I am uncertain for now, in order to come back home she will need to adhere to the rules and become reasonable, she will no longer be able to run her own show

You are so right about the cell phone and undermining. However; there is no one else for my daughter to stay with temporarily until we could sough of decompress, especially me. I am exhausted and must work for a living. I need a bit of Hiatus, there is no other option the ranch camps and wilderness camps were a fortune.

I completely understand where you are coming from with not wanting it in your home. But I sincerely believe that removing her from the home is giving her exactly what she wants. Your mother seems to think that it is okay for her to spoil your daughter. You really should take her home. Leaving her with your mother could cause a rift between you and your daughter that could be near impossible to repair. He behavior is definitely atrocious, but like I said, she needs to be with you. Although you feel like you are at the end of your rope, you are her mother, don't take the easy way out. She could take that so many ways. I tell you this because I knew kids who's parents just sent them away because they felt overwhelmed, and the kids got a LOT worse. I really wish you the best of luck. I know it's not easy for you at all.

I am hopeful that I made myself clear to my mother and she is not undermining. It is difficult for my mother because she feels caught in the middle and would prefer not to be there we have put her in this situation. I want my mother to maintain a relationship with my daughter she is all the family my daughter has left.

I thought some quality time with another adult would be best.

Well at least she's being understanding.

I have been told it is the prerogative and privilege of a grandparent to spol their grandchildren, but I think my mother gets it, right now... yesterday the spent the day at a movie an just talking. I am hoping this time will be somewhat benficial for all. What my daughter needs right now is to be supervised and her grandmother is able to provide that and safety.

Maybe you can start going on outings along with them and gradually spending more time together. Your daughter could be more willing to warm up to you and be more curtious.

For now; I will hava a wait and see attitude. We may be going to Marco Island here in Florida this weekend, not sure yet. Friends of mine are coming in from the North, that could be a good monotony breaker. She also has a rebel for a teen.

I was trying to make you understand that, there is something which you should look from a teens view.

Ohsohappy explained it well.

My cousin when 14 started stealing things from home and very rude to his parents. My father instead of accusing him, started with saying that I know that how are you feeling, I too did the same mistake in my childhood and narrated him a story (imaginary) of his childhood.

My cousin broke down and accepted that he had stolen things because he want to harsh his parents who are not taking care of him. Just keep on blaming him.

You are doing the same. I said earlier it is necessary to be strict, but she is already miserable.

She need that you understand her. Love can do miracles.

Its my own experience. I was also angry to my parents. But the moment they said sorry for not understanding me, I broke down.

Take leave and go in a vacation with her. If she don't want to go, forcefully take her. Tell her how you felt, when first time you saw her. Every little moment of her childhood you remember.

Of course don't give freedom of doing anything. She must obey you but she must know how much she mean to you.

Thanks - I have tried this cuddle me tender approach and it did nothing but blow up at me as she then mistook my kindness for weakness. She already knows how much she means to me, the more she tells me she hates me the more I telll her I love her and want her to get the help she so needs and deserves to become the person she was meant to be. I have mentioned to her in the past of some of my own personal teen years, however; I never direspected my parents nor had this level of defiance. I stayed out past curfew, I dated boys they were probably not excited about, I wore clothes that they considered less then appropriate attire and so on... This is a control issue at this point, like playing tug of war. I may be considering a trip over this weekend, not sure yet. Perhaps Labor day weekend might be more feasible, if this weekends plans don't pan out.

Most feel it is time for tough love... My daughter cannot love anyone else until she starts feeling better about herself.

I can understand your feeling because I am also a mother.

Although my daughter is 2 year old but when she won't obey me even I get strict with her.

But I can understand your daughter because I have gone through the same in my teen age.

I use to feel that my parents love me but won't understand and support me. So she might be feeling that you won't understand and support her.

You people need a mediator, whom she must feel unbiased. May be any of her friend, person whom she like. Don't start with accusing her.

I know you are tired and sick of it all. But she is your daughter, you can't give up.

She has never been accused. My daughter has not committed a crime "yet". But the commandments are clear "respect thy mother and father" words to live by. My roof my rules. I have not asked my daughter to pressure clean the roof as yet. There is no corporal cruelty in my home. I am actually considered by her friends "cool". All of whom like and respect me, with the exception of my own daughter. I too was a teen, however I did not spin out of control. We had something called "boundaries". My daughter needs to learn and know her place, or she will be nothing more then a detriment to herself and perhaps the society. I assure you she will straighten up and fly right, it is my life's ambition, she won't become just another number.

I am not saying, you are accusing her of crime. Of course your roof your rules. She must be disciplined.

I am just saying the starting approach. When beginning is perfect the work is half done.

Anyway, everybody have there own approach. I am concern more about how a teenage feels.

As a parent we always complain our kids that you will understand our decision when you will become parent. But, my question is, we already go through there age, do we understand them?

I have a big family. Usually face this type of problem. Always, there is one conclusion, parents and kids misunderstood each other.

Now a day, Kids even in India won't obey until they are convinced by reasoning. Anyway I think I am unable to convince you of my approach.

Wish you all the best.

On another note; do you practice Yoga?

Yes I do, But why?

Just curious, I have asked my daughter on numerous occasions to join me but she refuses. It is a wonderful way to develop and increase spiritualty and get centered.

"Dhayan" is the best act of Yoga.

I don't know what you say it in English but, it is actually sitting silently and concentrating your energy, thoughts and soul in between eyebrows, It is asumed in Indian vedas that soul resides there.

I am in my early 20's now and practicing it since I was 12 year old.

When you feel every thing is negative or not right. Sit silently and practice dhayan facing East.

First you will feel as things are going on in your memory like a motion picture.

But try to push negative thoughts away from your memory as you push Bad guys away.

Your positive energy will come in and you will feel a light covering your surrounding.

Body will feel lighter as if, it conquered the Gravitational Force and flowing in the space.

You will feel light hearted. And I am sure you will find a way to come out of your problem.

Since you already practice yoga, it will be easy for you.

I always do it when I got angry. Anger, restlessness etc can never give mind the right answer.

Instead a cool, calm and mind full of positive energy will give the correct answer to every problem.

Believe me I did that. Although I am young to say all these, But I have seen many ups and downs in this little age. Life had taught me lessens very well.

I am a strong believer of "Every thing Happens for Good".

Life is not like a movie where there is a written happy ending. Instead life is a sum of so many movies Where we have to give it a happy ending.

Thank you for your wise advise... yogi

Well thanks, I think nothing more I can help.

Life is like a spider web of relations. We create it, we break it.

Well something you can do is beat the f--kout of her and tell her you wish she would call 241 kids and that you will call for her but she's not going to disrespect you no more not in the place you pay bills she can get her sh-t and leave and go stay wit granny cause you isn't on it no more

"never fight violence with violence, it only leads to more violence".

You send your daughter to her grandparent, Right?

You told she will get back when she will learn to behave, right?

You also told that your mother undermine you and support her, correct?

Now will you please tell me, How is she going to learn to behave well, after living with the person supporting her?

Instead she won, because she no need to follow you rules anymore or tolerate or bear you any more in her language.

She got what she wanted and you lost by a 15 year old girl.

She will be returning home on Friday morning. There was no undermining, just a brief hiatus and decompression of temprements. Rules and requirements for returning home have been put in placed and agreed upon. Therapy will be researched a bit further and we will take it from there.

My mother was placed in a position she would have preferred not to be in. However; we have communicated on the progress of the stay and I don't feel based on what I have heard there was any degree of undermining.

I think a good old fashioned OTK spanking is what she needs...

Been there done that.

"Dhayan" is the best act of Yoga.

I don't know what you say it in English but, it is actually sitting silently and concentrating your energy, thoughts and soul in between eyebrows, It is asumed in Indian vedas that soul resides there.

You will feel light hearted. And i am sure you will find a way to come out of your problem.





I think what you are referring to, we call meditation. I could be wrong.

They call it in Yoga the 3rd eye. I will need to sit for a long long time.

Hahah that's a silly name for it. :) Anyway, I should try that too. It sounds very relaxing. :) the only issue would be finding uninterrupted time. My younger brother likes to burst into my room at random times to annoy me. I need to get a lock on my door. Haha

I need a lock to... or a separate home. I am going to my Yoga class tonight and really can't wait. I missed last week due to an injury.

AHHH Solace and Serenity.

I think a good old fashioned OTK spanking is what she needs....

My daughter by the way weighs twice what I weigh + anger...

You must be a very small woman.

They call it in Yoga the 3rd eye. i will need to sit for a long long time.

Well, it won't take long time, for me it worked just with 15 minutes in a day, anytime, anywhere, when you are in a mood to relax. But there must me something you should concentrate at. That can be name of the God.

Repeat in you mind again and again without whispering, I mean say only in mind.

The best time to do it for you people is before going to bed.

If you will do it before going to bed, then within few day you get used to of it and the result will reflect in your sleep, means fulfilling sleep in less hours. I need just 6 hrs a day and fell fresh the day round.

I live in a joint family, my husband's grandmother, father, mother, His brother in law's family of 4 members and my family. Although I am a well qualified professional who cleared India' s one of the toughest exams in Finance, at the young age but still a housewife to take care of my family. It is a typical Indian Joint family as you watch in TV.

So you can guess how much tension, I have to face everyday. One can not just walk away saying what do you know about it. Instead you have to face because everybody faces so. Think you only have your daughter to tackle with. I quit my lavish career just for my family's sake still facing problems everyday.

So just don't get frustrated but face it with intelligence and patience.

It is great that you have found a way to relax.

That ,however is not going to change your daughters attitude.

You may be better able to cope but the bottom line is you can't make a difference by going into a state of peace.

You need to be pro active and address the issues that will inevitably be there.

Hahah that's a silly name for it. :) Anyway, I should try that too. it sounds very relaxing. :) the only issue would be finding uninterrupted time. My younger brother likes to burst into my room at random times to annoy me. I need to get a lock on my door. haha

This is the charm of meditation. Let anybody do anything by your side but you should concentrate on your work. Initially you need silence but in few days you can do it anywhere. Even in crowd.

Did ever happen to you, that someone is saying something and you overheard it, because you concentration is diverted to something else. The same is here.

It is great that you have found a way to relax.

That ,however is not going to change your daughters attitude.

You are correct.

But getting the way out of it can be given by a peaceful mind only.

And not by a frustrated angry mind. Instead it will make the things worse

Its an old saying, " just calm down and think".

Indeed in comparison to others

Daughter is hurting you by hurting herself.
Why?
Did you remove her from dad and fer friends. This is often a case.
She needs her dad.. . or grandpa, other family member.

daughter is hurting you by hurting herself.
Why?
Did you remove her from dad and fer friends. This is often a case.
She needs her dad. ...or grandpa, other family member.


If you had read the posts before, You'd know that those options aren't available.

If you had read the posts before, You'd know that those options aren't available.

You have to look somewhere else for help.
I can't find earlier posts.
My daughter wasted 8 years trying to recover after she hurt herself to make her mom suffer.

Her mom removed her 17 years ago from one place with some discipline and authority.
It was to prove that they love each other the most.
She is divorced now, and she won't have good marriage for the next few years.
There is a hope...

You have to look somewhere else for help.
I can't find earlier posts.
My daughter wasted 8 years trying to recover after she hurt herself to make her mom suffer.

Her mom removed her 17 years ago from one place with some discipline and authority.
It was to prove that they love each other the most.
She is divorced now, and she won't have good marriage for the next few years.
There is a hope...



I was talking about her father not being able to be in the picture, he wasn't "removed" On the second page of this thread, What2do said "Always - I have been a single parent all of my daughter's life - my husband passed when she was very young." And also stated that they had almost no family because most of them are diseased


So as far as a father or grandfather being in the picture, those options are not ones either of them has.
Her daughter only as mom and grandma, basically.

I started thinking what's wrong with me [not with her].
Mom and grandma are not enough for 12-18 year old girl.
Do you want her to have happy family life with husband and kids under one roof?
I didn't help her immediately, but my approach changed environment and slowly things turned around.
I didn't do anything different, just let them know my thoughts.

Ask yourself if you ever would allow her father to be closer to her [on father's terms, not yours]?
It's the first step. Would you lose the face? Is it going to indicate your fault, or whatever?
You have your daughter's future in your hands [probably] and it's only few months left to change.

Friend of my destroyed kids future to prove that they did not want their father.
She manipulated kids and him and now she blames everything on him, of course.
He was bad, because he didn't do what "was best for kids".
She is lying to herself to feel better, but deeply in her heart she knows it's 50% of the truth.
I see it as her revenge, she wanted to punish her husband.
It was a big success, where kids were the tools in her hands [and victims].

I started thinking what's wrong with me [not with her].
Mom and grandma are not enough for 12-18 year old girl.
Do you want her to have happy family life with husband and kids under one roof?
I didn't help her immediately, but my approach changed environment and slowly things turned around.
I didn't do anything different, just let them know my thoughts.

Ask yourself if you ever would allow her father to be closer to her [on father's terms, not yours]?
it's the first step. Would you lose the face? is it going to indicate your fault, or whatever?
You have your daughter's future in your hands [probably] and it's only few months left to change.

Friend of my destroyed kids future to prove that they did not want their father.
She manipulated kids and him and now she blames everything on him, of course.
He was bad, because he didn't do what "was best for kids".
She is lying to herself to feel better, but deeply in her heart she knows it's 50% of the truth.
I see it as her revenge, she wanted to punish her husband.
It was a big success, where kids were the tools in her hands [and victims].


Don't take this the wrong way, because it's not meant to be an insult, but is English your native language? Maybe it's just me but some of the things you were saying didn't make much sense because words were left out or the sentence structure. And to be honest, I'm not exactly sure that what you're trying to say really relates to this topic.

Ask yourself if you ever would allow her father to be closer to her [on father's terms, not your? .


THis young woman that the topic is about has no father, as he has passed away. It's not that her mother (What 2 do) isn't allowing her to see her father, it's because, quite unfortunately, this is not possible.

Your daughter is tripping Im 15 and is a young lady also... and I say take away electronics... it drives teens insane... I don't have my fhone now and its teaching me a lesson, I have to bring my grades up so do that to her

Your daughter is tripping Im 15 and is a young lady also...and i say take away electronics...it drives teens insane...i dont have my fhone now and its teaching me a lesson, i have to bring my grades up so do that to her

Honey, did you even read what other people have said on this post? Did you notice the date on the last post. Pay attention to that.

Electronis is not always the answer if I take the phone away I have no barometer as to where she is or going and that all onto itself can be very dangerous. I feel a phone is an open line for communication, regardless of the conversation. It may even be a cry for help as a result of getting in trouble. However; we have decreased the plan's and implemented boundaries that cannot be exceeded without phone suspension.

Have your daughter tested for drugs. She may have a psychological pain that causes her to attempt self-medication if, perchance, she experienced a traumatic episode such as molestation or date-rape. I would start with a complete physical by a female gynecologist who would be able to refer her to a compasionate behavior modification therapist.

Have your daughter tested for drugs. She may have a psychological pain that causes her to attempt self-medication if, perchance, she experienced a traumatic episode such as molestation or date-rape. I would start with a complete physical by a female gynecologist who would be able to refer her to a compasionate behavior modification therapist.

Read the dates on posts, BEFORE you post on them.
Thanks.