Hi you I'm a guy Ive been wondering at work if this one guy who I work with is gay...
I know he smokes a lot of weed so I don't know if pot does this to u?.

Signs I've seen:

- we lock eyes all the time and sort of stare at each other in the eyes for a few seconds
- we always catch each other checking each other out...
- he drew my name in our break room everywhere some with hearts around it, he sort of meant it as a joke but could it be a sign?

Godd he's so cute I wish he is... if anyone can help answer this please & thanks :)

Were 17 yrs old

Have you ever talked to him about it? Does he know you're gay?

Please don't post the same question multiple times, even on different boards.

There are no gay signs that I know for certain.
If you like him ask him out ,if he is straight then consider just having him as a friend.
There is no conclusive way to TELL if someone is gay.
I have met hetro men who were effeminate and so outward signs are not really the way to go.
Ask him out ,the most he can say is no!

Kk sorry was unsure which board it goes in so I said why not both... and yeah really can't face rejection, then my secret is out... I'm still in the closet :P


No one knows I'm gay, I'm still in the closet, nor have I ever talked to him about it...

Though today at work he was telling me how someone asked him if he liked girls but I'm unsure if he was joking when he said no cause he kept a sort of straight face but then in a joking way... then the person who asked him that asked him if he liked me (cause me and him always hang out together on breaks) and he's like yea but I would think he was joking...

kk sorry was unsure which board it goes in so i said why not both... and yeah really can't face rejection, then my secret is out... im still in the closet :P

If you are in the closet,just ask him to hang out and see what proceeds from there.
As an aside,living in the closet is a difficult way to go.
No one should have to hide who they are and live a lie.
It is not fair to yourself to deny who you are because of other peoples bias.

Can I ask your age and your reason for not coming out?
It would impact what I would advice you so let me know ,if you care to share it.

If you want to date anyone in life, your going to have to come out of the closest eventually hon. I know its tough.

I say ask him. The worse he could say is 'im not gay'

I'm 17, I have 3 straight brothers... and were well known in the community, me coming out would be like a bombshell...

I'm a lifeguard and I have to pretend to hit on these girls at the beach so people don't think I'm gay...

Here is a resource that I think you may find helpful

Welcome: Helpline, Information & Resources (http://www.goaffirmations.org/site/PageServer?pagename=programs_helpline)

im 17, i have 3 straight brothers.... and were well known in the community, me coming out would be like a bombshell...

im a lifeguard and i have to pretend to hit on these girls at the beach so ppl dont think im gay...

You can't live a lie.
As a mother and a woman of 55 I have helped a couple of kids along the way to come out.
I bet your Mom knows and or has an inkling that you are gay.

It does not make you a bad person,you know that and they know that.You are a person first ,not just a gay person,that is just a part of who you are.

Your brothers will not disown you.Your family will nor disown you.

You have an absolute right to live your life as a gay man.without recrimination from anyone!

I sent you a link and I think you should check it out.
There are counselors who are trained who will talk to you for free and hopefully you will be able to be who you are.
Faking a life is not a life.
Here is the link again ,in case you missed it.

Welcome: Helpline, Information & Resources (http://www.goaffirmations.org/site/PageServer?pagename=programs_helpline)

We can still talk and maybe come up with a plan so you can be free.

Thank you very much I will have to call when they're open

thank you very much i will have to call when theyre open

I'm not trying to blow you off,we can still talk about this if you want.
I understand you have a family who you are concerned about and I suspect they care for you as well and want you to be happy.
Its not like in the 50's when no one was coming out,It's the 21 century,we have come a long way.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/boy-work-he-gay-382457.html
And here's why its best to stick to only one board. :)

You didn't mention anywhere on this one that he said he likes you.

Wel if he SAID he liked you hon, I say go for it! Being gay is hard enough, and on top of that, its hard to find a partner to share your lifestyle, interests, secrets, and anything else with. Life is too short to simply stand around wondering hon *hugs* good luck

But see I don't know if he was joking or not he's kind of unpredictable...

So ASK him if he was joking, and ASK him if he really likes you.

What's to lose?

So you are hoping he is gay
Does he know you are gay?
He could either be interested
Or he could be playing a childish game.
Those are the only two reasons I can see for him drawing hearts with your name.

OH and smoking pot has NOTHING to do with your sexual preference.

There is no hurry, my friend, so take your time, and enjoy getting to know each other, and then you will be comfortable enough with each other, to be honest with each other.

Yes, if you are open about being gay, then just go for it and tell him how you feel. You would do the same if you were straight and this was a girl

Well there's plenty to lose if I do, and I'm not openly gay...

I don't know what to do :(

well theres plenty to lose if i do, and im not openly gay....

idk what to do :(

I agree coming on to him or anything like that in the work place is not a good idea.
He knows you are gay so it is up to him to do anything if he is interested.

I agree coming on to him or anything like that in the work place is not a good idea.
He knows you are gay so it is up to him to do anything if he is interested.

He doesn't know I'm gay...
I hit on girls at the beach we work at so in case if he's not gay, and if I do make a move on him or anything, I can just use the hitting on girls as a way to cover up...

Oh I was under the impression he was doing these things because he knew you were.

I still wouldn't make any advances at your work place. Does anybody else at work know you are gay?

Nope, still in the closet haha, don't plan on telling anyone anytime soon anyway, but a secret romance with him would be amazingggg

he doesnt know im gay...
i hit on girls at the beach we work at so incase if he's not gay, and if i do make a move on him or anything, i can just use the hitting on girls as a way to cover up....

Have you given any more consideration to my suggestion about coming out?
Why cheat yourself honey?
You have an absolute right to be who you are!

Here is a link I think may be helpful to you.Just check it out.
The Trevor Project (http://thetrevorproject.org/helpline.aspx)

If you don't want your sexuality coming open in the work place you might have to mention it to him outside of work somehow.

artlady, yes I have, but I don't think it would be fair to my family to put them through something like this, when the time is right and my little brother especially matures, I think I could bare coming out... however for now it'll be my little secret :)

And thank you for that link, I'm looking at trevors YouTube channel and reading up on the website, ill be checking back here soon

artlady, yes i have, but i dont think it would be fair to my family to put them through something like this, when the time is right and my little brother especially matures, i think i could bare coming out... however for now it'll be my little secret :)

and thank you for that link, im looking at trevors youtube channel and reading up on the website, ill be checking back here soon

I can tell you without any doubt ,if you were my son,I would be disappointed to learn that you felt you had to lead a secret life for MY benefit.
I would want you to be who you are and I would love you and support you.
Your younger brother has to learn the facts of life sooner or later,maybe you can be the one to enlighten him and in doing stop the gay bashing that is so prevalent among teens.
Tolerance is something we learn and pass on.

Oh another thing happened today...

His 24 year old family friend that's a girl that is an assistant manager at the beach club asked me if I was gay today...

However I was discussing how I saw a guy peering through a hole in the wall checking out girls, imo I thought it was just purely perverted and I was telling her this... then just in the middle of the conversation, she asked me if I was gay...

So I don't know if the boy I liked asked her to ask me that or she was just curious? Idk what to think anymore...

Only one way to find out. That's to ask. :)

Maybe next time he does something like draw your name in hearts on the wall jokingly laugh and say ''what are you gay or something! ''

That way you haven't left the closet but it may give you a chance to see his reaction or hear his reply.

Oooh great idea, I'll have to do that...


Also I remember introducing him to a couple of good looking friends that were girls and I asked him what he thought of them and he sort of just like shrugged his shoulders and didn't really give me an answer...

Maybe next time he does something like draw your name in hearts on the wall jokingly laugh and say ''what are you gay or something!?''

That way you haven't left the closet but it may give you a chance to see his reaction or hear his reply.

Can't rep you HBOH (honeybunches o help) but that is a good way to break the ice and start a dialog if indeed there will be one.

What about asking about other guys? Like actors? You'd be able to see his reaction to that. And then if you felt like you needed to, play it off as a joke. My boyfriend isn't gay or even bi but he still jokes around about "oh, that guy is sooo hot!" and me and my girlfriends give him a hard time whenever we watch a movie with a hot actor.

Yeah ask if anybody saw Brokeback Mountain and what they thought of it

Hmm don't know if that's a great idea being that its clearly gay, and I think it would be like me basically say yea I'm gay...