Hi folks. It's been quite awhile since I've posted here. For those who want to read my story, thank you for your interest and your time.

For those who don't, I'll try to summarize. I dated a girl for almost two years, we were both responsible for issues in our relationship, but ultimately I broke a very important promise and with it, her heart. About four months ago, she ended our relationship and chose to cut me out of her life entirely, and I respected her space. I did not contact her, and I did my best to move forward with my life. I secured a full time job (nothing glamorous but I make rent and bills alright) and have been reconnecting with all the friends I had forgotten over the years. I got into a few new physical activities, have gotten in slightly better shape (I should really cut out the fast food, heh) and really learned about my personal strengths and weaknesses.

About two months ago, I found out that she had taken some virtual property from an online account of mine. Our communication did not go well; I asked her why she did it, and she seemed unapologetic and self-justified. When I tried to talk to her directly, she shot me down, explaining that she didn't want to talk to me anyway. At that point, I let my emotions get the best of me, and said some very mean, spiteful things, culminating in my demand for her to stay out of my life.

Since then, I've moved forward even more with my life. I'm planning on taking classes again in the fall, and I am starting management training this weekend. Now, on to the question that is the subject of my thread here.

I still think about her, not as a romantic interest, but just as someone I care about. I don't understand why. I have no reason to; she effectively cut me out of her life, taking the easy way out for whatever reason. She stole from me, admitted to it, and seemed to think that it was OK. And I have had absolutely no contact with her whatsoever barring the incident itself. I'm not trying to make her out to be the bad person here; I certainly handled those situations poorly, as well as acted foolishly throughout the entire relationship. But, why is it that I still think of her?

I certainly don't want to date her again. But to be honest, part of me still wants some kind of interaction, even just one conversation about the summer, about what we've done and learned in our time apart. Am I foolish for wanting this? I know I will never get it... and yet, I cannot lie to myself and to you folks.

It's not consuming my life, and it's not interfering with any of my daily routines. But on those occasions when I sit alone watching TV, and the silliest reminders come up, she flashes through my mind, and I am left wondering how she is doing and if she's really OK.

I thought originally that it was just my own insecurity. That I wanted to know about her life so that I could somehow reach some sort of closure with my own. But, if that were the case, wouldn't I want some kind of continuation of that? A new relationship, or even a friendship? Once again I am left with another question, haha.

All I want, in a perfect world, is to be able to sit down with her, and instead of discussing the past and what went wrong, just to leave it behind us and learn about each other. I suppose that is impossible; the memories and the wounds may run too deep. But I suppose I will never know.

So... am I a fool?

~ Tee

NO!
Seriously, I do not think you are foolish.

I feel the same way now as I did about a certain person I loved 60 years ago.

Roland.

Having broken up no more than three months ago I can relate my good man. The promise thing is something too that sticks out a lot. To me promises are a matter of both honor and pride. If you did indeed break a promise then I can only say sorry to hear that. I to have had the misfortune of having a break up where the other party has cut me clean out of her life. Again that feels like more of a loss than anything else especially when that other person says that "we can always be friends" it is an absolute kick in the nuts to be frank but the reality is we always seem to want what we either do not or cannot have. If she won't talk to you there is little you can do. But what is most important is this YOU ARE NOT A FOOL!
When a person leaves your life in that fashion its almost like a death in your life as that person seems so close and yet you can't even talk to them. You should mourn the loss of this friendship but don't keep chasing it and don't contact her again lest your emotions take over and more real harm comes of it. The wounds may still run deep but that is no longer for you to decide. Do yourself a favor acknowledge that you are not a fool by any stretch of the imagination to want to be friends with another person who meant a lot to you but don't pour salt into the open wounds. Let time decide the fate of whether you two speak again.

You aren't a fool. You're just lonely and she is your last interaction of that sort. It's perfectly natural to think of her when feeling this way. You might be getting closer to that path of recovery than you think.

You are not bitter, or spiteful. Just interested in how she is doing. I wouldn't contact her yet though, she might not be in the same place that you are, and it could have adverse effects instead of positive ones. People heal differently. Keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like you are healing nicely.

OP,

I am not saying anything, but GIVE YOU A BIG HUG! :)

Take care and good luck finding the right one.