View Full Version : My date disappears and then returns from nowhere.
MITM
Jul 30, 2009, 06:18 PM
Ive been on a date with this guy about 4 times.. All of the sudden the guy decides to take off and sends a text saying he's not ready for a relationship and that it was good knowing me. Mind you, we were on dates.. We didn't do anything personal.. He did not even give me a chance... (Im a girl btw)...
Months later, the dude calls me up and wants to reconnect again and act like nothing ever happened, he said he needed some ''time'' and that we should remain friends... I don't even think we can remain friends because we never even built a friendship on the short period I got to know him through our dates. Is this a guy worth spending my time on? I have a feeling he is going to pull the ''i need more time'' thing again if I start seeing him... What do you make of it? I have a feeling he can't be trusted.. He confuses me like hell.
BlackVY
Jul 30, 2009, 06:23 PM
He doesn't sound like the greatest guys, and this whole "Be there when I want you around, if not, goodbye" isn't good.
Sounds like he only wants you around when its convenient for him, and maybe he thought he found someone else before, so he left you, and now, since his first choice didn't work out as planned, he thinks he still has you as a back up.
If I were you, I wouldn't bother with this guy, he doesn't seem genuine or trust worthy, and there are much better guys out there who won't cut and run, only to come back again when it suits them
Just my opinion... best of luck
MITM
Jul 30, 2009, 06:29 PM
BlackVY, you are spot on and I agree with you. My mates have been telling me the same thing over and over again as well. Maybe he had a GF on the side, and when things didn't work out between them he wants to come and give it a try with me. At first I was happy that he was still interested in me but Im not that desperate and I don't want to make a fool of myself for allowing him to only contact me when the time is right for him...
I can't sit around and wait forever until he feels ready.. Its so immature.. And you are so right about the thing with him only contacting when its on his terms.. That's pretty much how the dating ended, I suggested a date that was not on his terms, and when I declined a date that was on his terms, he ended it and said he was not ready for a relationship.
I thought dating should always be on the woman's terms and requests. I really cannot be with a man who think the world spins around him and that everything and everybody should be adjusted according to his will...
I guess I answered my own question...
Just Dahlia
Jul 30, 2009, 06:41 PM
I say NO! There are too many people/men out there to have to put up with that. Something is up with him and you shouldn't have to deal with it at this point, since there really is no relationship to say.
N0help4u
Jul 30, 2009, 07:45 PM
I agree he needs a wake up call that he can't just up call you back out of the blue and expect girls to be there waiting.
You are probably a back up plan B because someone else didn't work out.
BlackVY
Jul 30, 2009, 08:04 PM
BlackVY, you are spot on and I agree with you. My mates have been telling me the same thing over and over again aswell. Maybe he had a GF on the side, and when things didnt work out between them he wants to come and give it a try with me. At first I was happy that he was still interested in me but Im not that desperate and I dont wanna make a fool of myself for allowing him to only contact me when the time is right for him...
I can't sit around and wait forever til he feels ready.. Its so immature.. And you are so right about the thing with him only contacting when its on his terms.. Thats pretty much how the dating ended, I suggested a date that was not on his terms, and when I declined a date that was on his terms, he ended it and said he was not ready for a relationship.
I thought dating should always be on the womans terms and requests. I really cannot be with a man who think the world spins around him and that everything and everybody should be adjusted according to his will...
I guess I answered my own question...
Yup, you did answer your own question, and that is great, because rather than listening to friends or people on the forum, you are more likely to listen to what your heart tells you and do what you feel is right in your gut.
What everyone else says just reassures you of something you already know, this guy ain't good for you and is not worth your time.
I do believe that a guy should be willing to compromise and bend as far back as possible for a woman he is interested in, without losing his self-respect of course, so you having to be there for this guy when he feels like it is just not right.
You deserve better and this is not a guy you need to be with. All the best with future endeavors, and trust yourself, you know what you want and what you don't, you know what is right and what isn't, so don't lose your integrity.
Peace :)
Fr_Chuck
Jul 30, 2009, 08:12 PM
Can't even see the waste of time to even ask about this type of person. You ( in fact anyone) could do better
MITM
Jul 31, 2009, 03:40 AM
You guys are totally right.. Its just nice to have more affirmation.. Its something that's been on my mind but I never really took the advice in.. I guess the reason why Im still thinking of him is because I think he is really cute and handsome and funny.. But aside from that, what else is he? Really lousy at being on time, sends text that he doesn't want to meet me anymore and then calls back after months saying he wants to get in touch with me again.. Its really funny.. Or rather sad.. I kept hoping maybe he would change.. But I guess first impression is important and I have to say he hasn't made a good 4th impression on me... I keep thinking HE MUST BE THE ONE because I find him attractive... But I guess its true what they say, it's the inside that counts... And he's been acting like a jirk..
Chey5782
Jul 31, 2009, 03:46 AM
If that's your only reason then go Google cute and hot guys. Then add funny. You'll find quite a few hits.
I do not mean this to come across as mean but think of it like this, he totally blew you off and disrespected you. Telling him it was okay to have done that and accepting it is a complete disregard for yourself. Steer clear of a loser like that, you deserve better, anyone does.
And tell him to go kick a bucket, someone needs to call him into account for being that way. Better you to doesn't want him than another girl before it's too late and hearts get broken.
artlady
Jul 31, 2009, 04:15 AM
Jerks are a dime a dozen,I wouldn't give him the time of day,it would only be more of the same.
A resounding NO on this one!