Hello. My husband is a dog person, I HATE dogs... (HATE!! ).

He wants a dog and won't shut up about it, I DO NOT want a dog. I am not willing to take on the responsibilities... I know what it's like to have to care for a puppy/dog... he does not. He couldn't take care of a goldfish, if that gives you a clue.

There is no way to compromise this issue, obviously. If we had a dog, I would be forced to take on a huge burden AND live with something I find just plain disgusting. Dogs are a huge responsibility, he just doesn't "get" that. And if we got a dog, I would be the one who would have to take on the majority of the responsibility.

What can I say to him to get it through his head? I'm sick of arguing about it. Whenever I say "No, I am not willing to take on a dog", he plays it as if I'm punishing him and the kids by keeping them from having a dog. He knew well before we were married that I HATED dogs, so no surprise there.

I would be most keen to know why you feel so much hatred for dogs... is it because of past experience? I have known people who hated dogs... but with time, they got used to dogs, and even became dog lovers. I'm just saying that not all dogs are the same, if ever one did hurt you. You should try living with a dog. I'm not saying you should have a dog, but for example, you can try visiting friends who have (a) dog(s) and try knowing more about them, how they usually behave etc. Give it a try, that cannot hurt. :)

What I would suggest is taking on the task of dog ownership for a while. You can do so by fostering a dog for a period. Bring it up that you are willing to "try" out the possibility of a dog. You can foster dogs at about any shelter. Let him know that the fostered dog is his responsibility.

If, after a few weeks goes by, he is still on top of the tasks involved with dog ownership and proves to be a good pet owner, you may reconsider your stance of getting a dog based on his lack of caretaking.

Make sure you go to the vet for a visit... let him see what that costs per visit... make sure he is keeping up on walks and grooming... try to do this without being too overbearing though.

Fostering will get the dog out of the kennel for a while and is a temporary solution and can prove his intent for being a good "parent". I have fostered numerous dogs and had good ones and bad ones... it tests your patience and it is a good way to see if you can handle the pressures of dog ownership. If it doesn't work out for any reason, you can return the dog. If he proves himself a good "parent", you may want to consider his point of view.

Either way, you have helped a dog in need... by either providing them with a good temporary home... or by deciding to permanently adopting it.

Why do I hate dogs? Um, well... it's deep. And believe it or not, it's gotten more intense with time. It's not going away, trust me.

I've lived with dogs before, hated it. Absolutely HATED IT!! My parents always had dogs, they forced me to care for them a lot. Not only did I care for them a lot, but I lived with them, their nasty smell, their hair everywhere, annoying habits like chewing and barking... I cannot tolerate it.

We have 2 little kids... I have enough responsibilities.

And once my kids grow a bit more, I am looking forward to a time with less responsibility... not MORE. I am finally getting some of my freedoms back since having crawling babies, then curious toddlers, and so on... I want to ENJOY IT!!

Oh, if your children are really young, then you may wait some more time. But if your hubby is willing to care for it, I mean, take all the responsibility (do the bathing, cleaning when necessary, etc), you could let him.

Clean dogs do not smell bad... :confused: And a well trained dog will behave...

epawls, I am not willing to live with a dog. My house is too small, and I don't want a dog in my house, period. I like my house to be clean, and an animal makes it NOT clean to me. Sorry, I just have zero tolerance.

Also, what do you propose I do when he is at work full-time? That is part of why I say that I will be the one taking on a majority of the responsibility. Because he is gone most of the day! So... therefore... I would have to potty-train it and take it outside (gross), feed it and stuff, and BABYSIT it... and not to mention deal with the smell and annoyance of it regardless of if he is home or not... so when it barks at 2 AM or chews up MY shoe, how can I ignore that or look [past it?

Look, I am just NOT willing at all to live with a dog, period.

LOL, ALL dogs stink to me!

My parents fostered many puppies for a blind organization, so I got to experience a quite intense training! Of course, the whole family had to participate in the training, because of specific words that were used at certain times and because of strict rules regarding what the dog was/wasn't allowed to do.

Maybe you should post something in the marriage area instead of dog, since it sounds like you are not going to budge on this.

Something like "My husband is pushing for the 'Deal Breaker' and it's too late to break the deal, we have children, What do I do?"

Passerby...

Just so you know you are not alone. My partner is like you, refuses them, not because of the responsibility but because of the OCD things, slobber, hair, smell, licking.

I am your hubby.

You are right there is not a compromise. Our house is not allowed animals and it does hurt me, but this is a battle he wins that breaks my heart.

Hold your ground... I gave in and have suffered from doggie hell. I already had 1 dog when I met my hubby, then he had it in his mind about puppies. I agreed to look , but not buy. He took a look at this one pup and he had to have it. We put down a deposit on him, but I changed my mind and told him no... he threatened divorce we did not get him... needless to say divorce would have been better. He is a money pit, sick all the time, naughty, troublemaker, can't go on a vacation without him, gets in the way or loving hubby, and has yet to ever kiss me (the dog)! The puppy is almost 8 years old!

Ok then... we can shift gears then... you are dead set on not having one... and he is just aching for one...

Well, I have learned that if something I want to introduce into my home has any kind of effect on the person I live with, the decision must be unanimous. If you both cannot agree on whether to get a dog (or whatever the stimulus is), then one of you is disregarding the feelings and emotions of the other. This is a huge red flag.

Explain to him that this type of decision has an effect on the both of you, thus you must both agree. I have found that it is better to avoid saying no, closing the subject and giving no consideration to the matter. Let him know that now is not the right time for you to assume parenthood of a dog. Let him know that you may not always feel this way, but you are making no promises of changing your mind. This allows you to say "no" without actually saying it. This attempt would satisfy most people.

In the future, who knows, your hatred toward dog ownership may change and you may, with some great timing and planning, get him an awesome birthday, holiday or anniversary gift some day that you can both enjoy... but only when you are both ready!1`

Well, I debated on putting it in the marriage section or here... I really just tossed a coin! On one hand, the marriage section seemed right because it is somewhat of a marital problem, but on the other hand it's a pet thing because much of what I want to convey to him relates to the fact that dogs are a HUGE responsibility in many ways (care, financial, liability... etc... ) so people in the dog section would certainly know all about that!

It's not that I don't like animals at all... I grew up on a farm, I worked alll day with animals. I love cats, I had a cat... but I had to get rid of it because it began making a mess in the house. Something psychological, I think, it just began refusing to use it's box properly.



I try to see it from his point, but it always comes back to the fact that I will be forced to care for the thing when he is gone at work and also let it live in my house (and EVERYTHING that comes with having a dog in the house), that's HUGE on my end.

I'd just ignore him but it's hard when he attacks me on the issue and makes me defend myself. Whenever he sees an ad for a free puppy or whatever, we have to rehash the whole thing... I'm sick of it.

epawls, I am not willing to live with a dog. My house is too small, and I don't want a dog in my house, period. I like my house to be clean, and an animal makes it NOT clean to me. Sorry, I just have zero tolerance.

Also, what do you propose I do when he is at work full-time? That is part of why I say that I will be the one taking on a majority of the responsibility. Because he is gone most of the day!! So.....therefore....I would have to potty-train it and take it outside (gross), feed it and stuff, and BABYSIT it....and not to mention deal with the smell and annoyance of it regardless of if he is home or not.....so when it barks at 2 AM or chews up MY shoe, how can I ignore that or look [past it?

Look, I am just NOT willing at all to live with a dog, period.

LOL, ALL dogs stink to me!!

My parents fostered many puppies for a blind organization, so I got to experience a quite intense training!! Of course, the whole family had to participate in the training, because of specific words that were used at certain times and because of strict rules regarding what the dog was/wasn't allowed to do.

I have to wonder why your husband is so intent on getting a dog when you're so adamant about not getting one.

Does he not care?

Why is he pushing this issue?

There has to be a compromise. Why not tell him to volunteer at the humane society? They are always looking for dog walkers, people to clean the cages, socialize with the dogs. He can have his dog fix and you can remain dog free.

I have three dogs, I love it. Yes, there can be mess, but it's easily dealt with. Still I understand that not all people can love a pet, love a dog. I don't understand it, but I can accept it.

Just tell him what you've told us. You cannot get a dog unless everyone's on board, only the dogs will suffer.

Don't get me wrong... I like dogs, just not this one, maybe because I never truly wanted him!

Unk, I sort of agree with passmeby. The person wanting the dog always renegs on caring. The person in the household who makes most of the decisions usually get to do the feeding, cleaning, washing and walking.

If passmeby doesn't like dogs, then she doesn't like dogs, that's all there is too it. I respect that. She knows her hub by better then we do.

Tick

This is another example where reading past threads helps make this particular issue more clear than it would appear to be.

It is not fair to either the person or the dog if the dog hates the person or the person hates the dog.

So don't get a dog. And if this has turned into a major problem in your marriage, go to counselling.

I never understand hatred of an animal, particular a species, but it is apparent from the responses on this thread that it does happen.

So don't have that particular pet.

He wants a dog and won't shut up about it, I DO NOT want a dog. I am not willing to take on the responsibilities....I know what it's like to have to care for a puppy/dog...he does not. He couldn't take care of a goldfish, if that gives you a clue.


So, why don't you compromise? Marriage is all about compromise. If you can't both work things out, its more like a mother-son/father-daughter relationship, where you live together but one makes all the decisions... (Don't even start! You know who you are.)

Here's an idea:
I say, make him a deal. Get him a goldfish. If he can take care of it, by himself, for an agreed upon time (say 3 months?) then get him a guinea pig, and if he can take care of that, by himself, then think about the dog. For the safety of the animals, if he can't take care of them, don't let them go, take them back to the store. :)

Good luck with this.

We tried that idea... it is a good one. But now beside the lovely java, "mad" max we have 2 birds, tons of fish, hermit crabs.

Personally I can handle a whole pack of dogs but keep a goldfish alive for a few weeks? Unlikely. I'm not terribly good with fish.

Rodents such as guinea pigs can also be a mess and require constant cleaning and the OP clearly does not want a pet that causes significant changes or smells.

Keeping this in mind I would suggest looking into something a bit more low key, yet unsmelly like perhaps hermit crabs or possibly something like a gecko.

I own a Leopard gecko and not only does it not smell and requires little cage cleaning, it only needs to eat a few times a week. Gentle and quiet it's a real winner in my book.

True, however, I was just trying to give an idea. It wasn't like "if you don't use these animals it won't work" type of thing.

I suggested Goldfish because it's what the OP mentioned. I suggested a Guinea because all of the reasons you said. If the husband can handle all of that without his wife's intervention, it relates more to handling a dog than, say, a leopard gecko. :)
I love geckos though!

Your suggestions weren't bad and handling a gecko is a far stretch from a dog like you said. In my experience though I've had an easier time taking care of adult, house trained dogs then keeping on top of Guinea Pigs or similar pets. They use the bathroom a lot more and I've always had the problem with them kicking bedding all over the place. It just worries me that if the husband does not absolutely stay on the ball 24/7 then it will only make the OP even less willing to consider trying a dog in the future.

I see your logic, HelpInHere, but how can there be a compromise here? That is what I'm trying to tell him, too-there's no way to compromise this issue. No way around it, I'd be stuck with a good portion of the dog's care (he has to work during the day, so who else is going to do it?) and I'd be stuck living with the thing and dealing with it's antics. So that's not really a compromise, that's more like a total defeat, but it involves a living creature, so yikes! No good!

I think in the case of getting pets, all parties should agree to take the animal on. Kind of like if it were a question of having a baby. No one would EVER tell someone who doesn't want kids to "just have one for the other person's happiness" or to compromise on that issue, so what's different here? As I said before, my husband knew there'd be no chance of a dog well before he married me, so...

I'm definitely going to hold my ground on this, I just wanted to post it partly to vent and partly to get ideas. Thanks for reading and responding, guys. I've got a pretty good response put together for next time! Thanks!

We do have some hamsters and a flock of chickens, but I care for those guys.

I absolutely do love animals, just not dogs and a few other critters. I grew up on a good sized dairy farm, and in addition to the cows we had all kinds of creatures here and there, esp cats! Got to have those "barn cats"! I was an avid equestrian, always had a horse. So it's not at all that I don't like animals!

Maybe your husband could volunteer at a dog shelter as a dog walker. He could go see the dogs when he has time and you do not have one in the house..

He wouldn't volunteer, no way. And he'd want to adopt them all anyway if he did!

Dogs really aren't as big of a responsibility as your making it seem. And you saying you have no tolerance for gross things that make messes doesn't make any sense to me, for your children probably drool, make messes, and fill up diapers which I would find way more disgusting than a dog. Your house is small? Get a small dog. Once it gets out of the 'puppy stage' they are much more independent and do not need to be looked after constantly. I really don't think hurting your relationship over your stubbornness is a good idea.

Dogs really aren't as big of a responsibility as your making it seem.

Some dogs are, some are not.

The trick is finding a good dog that can just lay around, be mopey and depressed until his master comes home (the husband) and still be calm and normal when the other owners are around.
That's how my dog is, I like it, except he won't play with me when it's just me... :rolleyes:

Get a cat. They are typically a little more hygienic, they sleep a lot, they don't really get in the way. They aren't dogs... consider the idea?

He doesn't care for cats unfortunately, so a cat wouldn't exactly stop the wanting of a dog! I personally love cats but I can't have one because I won't let him have a dog! LOL, so it does work both ways! But then again I never ask him if I can have a cat because I respect his position on cats.

Honestly, I'm not psyched on getting ANY animal right now. We've got the 2 hamsters for the kids and the chickens. I know, not exactly pets, but a responsibility nonetheless! I've got the most crafty chicken, "Frank", she (he?) gets in and out no matter what! So I'm not animal shopping or looking for a compromise... just looking for something to say to squash the asking for a dog all the time, that's all.

We're hoping to be able to do some travelling and possibly move very soon as well, so that itself doesn't lend well to a dog (or a cat, really)...

Twink, I'm not here to defend my feelings on dogs, OK? Some people just don't like dogs, and that's OK. My marriage isn't hurting over this, I'm just annoyed that he keeps asking, that's all. Esp since he knew long before we married that a dog would be out of the question!

That still doesn't sounds very fair to me. Marriage is about compromise. Let him get an outside dog, so you don't have to care for it? If you aren't hurting over it then what is the point in asking if for no reason other than to manipulate him. It doesn't sound like talking does any good if he knows how you feel and keeps bringing it up. He disrespects you by making you feel bad about not liking dogs, but is it really so intolerable that he talk about it, at least he hasn't just brought one home without caring how you feel.

I'm not saying any of this to offend you, I've just read through this post and it all sounds pointless. He's not going to get a dog because you won't let him. He probably talks about it just as much to express this desire as he does to annoy the crud out of you. (If he is anything like my husband that is.) I'd probably ask for advice too, because if my hubby did it all the time the only way it would end for us would be if I lost my mind and screamed and yelled at him until he FINALLY got his head out of his butt long enough to understand how much it bugged me.

That would be a pretty bad way of being forced into responding to the dog issue. I'd probably fail at this if I was in your position, so I guess I am just poking my hand in it to say I feel your annoyance and good luck. Yeah I know, pointless.

Hey, Chey, yeah, he probably does do it half to annoy me, but I'll tell you, I see this kid-like sparkle in his eyes when he asks, he really does think that one of these times I'm going to say YES.

Anyway, I don't believe in outside dogs, unless we're talking about completely free dogs on a huge farm (and we don't live on a farm! ). I cannot see a dog tied to a stake or in some little fence with a little house, barely ever getting any interaction. Sorry, but I find it a form of cruelty and I wouldn't allow it to happen!

Ah, well without knowing if you have a big fenced in yard or where you live I couldn't begin to tell you the answer to that one. But if it was an idea you were agreeable to if you did have a big fenced in yard, you could always tell him, you fence it yourself you can have an OUTSIDE dog. It COULD potentially solve the problem. My ex husband was like this about dogs too, and I told him no unless he took on the responsibility, he said OK, we got her, he never did anything to train her whatsoever. The day I watched her pin my 2 year old son to the ground I called a buddy of his and gave her to them, they had wanted her badly anyway. So men who want a dog they probably won't take care of get no sympathy from me. You might even be doing the dogs of the world a favor if he wouldn't care for the dog like he claims. Have him chew on that one sometime.

You're right. I know him, I know him WELL, and I know he won't properly care for the dog... and it'll get worse and worse as the "newness" of it wears off. Just like the weight set, the project truck, and so on! I know him so well, when he had to have this stupid wieght set (once again, wouldn't shut up about it! ) I made him sign a contract. I put in everything I thought would happen, and whaddya know, it all came true! Oh, I still pull out that contract and laugh and laugh!

He's the type of person who has this grand idea in his head but he's lazy and impatient. He probably wants a dog that'll walk by his side and chase a ball and ride alongside him in the truck, but that's not really realistic. And he's not thinking about the "work" part of it all and how much time it would take to get a puppy to become what you want it to, it's generally years before your dog calms down and behaves great and is most trustworthy. He's surely not thinking of what it's like to have to take the dog out to potty all winter long, or on rainy days. Or raking up it's poo in the cold or rain (or anytime for that matter! ).

Yeah, an outside dog would be an answer, but what's the point? He'll never play with it. We can't afford fencing for a dog anyway. And my luck, the thing will get loose and go on a crime spree!

Hahaha. A weight set is way different than an animal though, you are very right to tell him no when it comes to another life. A dog isn't a novelty toy, it's a living breathing chewing fluffy being that deserves proper care and a good quality of life.

Oh.. god... you should get him one of those electronic dogs for Christmas!

Here's a point. Show him this thread!
Maybe everyone agreeing with you will throw him off just a little bit! XD :)

At the very least, just print out the replies that AGREE with you! :D
That'll show him, lol.

I forgot about the weight set, so I'll just use that as my argument next time! ;)

Or I could tell him if he gets in real good shape and gets a six-pack he can have a dog. That might be considered a win-win! :)

Lol, good mindset! Live up to your old commitments before you try to start a new one! Lol


Chey5782 agrees: I would SO do that next time he makes eyes at you about a dog. Cynics and Experts agree!
Passmeby agrees: LOL! Yeah, I could print it out, think he'd notice huge gaps and missing pages?
I didn't expect a greenie, let alone two, for that post. It's all good, I'll take what I can get! :D

Besides, passme, that's what paint's for! Screenshot, cut out the posts that you don't want, drag the others to look like one chain, and copy paste the numbers to look like you didn't edit it! When you print it, your husband would be none the wiser!
Lol, anyway, it was just a joke.

I do agree. If he can't commit to something to better himself, *cough*weightset*cough*, then he would only, make life miserable for a dog. Completely agree with you there.

I am a little late for this thread but I will add my comments anyway :)

Definitely do not, ever get a dog! Even with the compromise.
No matter how much he begs and pleads, a dog should be brought up in a loving home, not with someone who hates it.

I don't think a dog would be happy in your home with you as the primary caregiver.He would sense your dislike and resentment and would probably suffer from any number of neurosis.
Dogs are very attuned to that sort of thing and your husband should know that if he is even considering a dog.
They are extremely sensitive to human emotion and he would not be happy.
That should be the bottom line,it would be a match made in hell and no one wins.

I agree that taking care of goldfish is different than taking care of dogs. I think he wants to get a dog because it is something people like to have as a part of good memories for then and their kids growing up. And you can't walk and play catch with other pets. Then when you do get the dog the other pets tend to get neglected more sometimes.
I think the kids will get stuck cleaning up after the dog.
If you do get a dog I'd get something like a Jack Russel and build it a big dog house outside so it has a place outside as well as letting him in the house too if that is possible.

I don't know... I REALLY loved my pet turtle. Until my dad set it free one summer while I was away because he was too lazy to care for it.

I don't think you should get a dog. I'd feel sorry for the dog. The way you keep on about how much you "HATE" them. As far as your husband, a huge majority of men like, and want, dogs. Maybe it's like being a little boy again, I don't know. Speaking of that, you say you have 3 kids? What about them? Dogs( good dogs) offer so much love and companionship to children. I wouldn't dare take that from my kids, our dog is family.

Exactly! I'm thinking about the dog itself! I know I dislike dogs a lot, so how could I possibly give it the attention it needs? I wouldn't. I would feed it and take it to go potty, but it wouldn't get anything else out of me! And I would get madder and madder at it as time wore on because I'd tire quickly of constantly cleaning up after and dealing with it. Heck, my neighbor's dog manages to inflame me and it's basically a decent dog!

Anyway, what I had been trying to convey was, although I do plain dislike dogs, I am trying to be a responsible person by not getting into a situation that I know I don't want to be in where there is a living creature involved. Some people apparently think that I'm going to magically change my mind about my feelings of dogs, but that's not going to happen. If I gave up and allowed a dog in, I'd always regret it and I'd probably end up hating dogs even more. I found that some people sort of villainized me for disliking dogs, which is odd. Just accept that some people don't like dogs or what dogs do! I'm not a bad person for not liking dogs. I love animals in general, and I've dealt with animals extensively through my life through having the farm, I know exactly what it's like to raise animals and to love animals. Dogs just aren't for me, I guess I just don't find them "cute" or enjoy/feel need for their companionship... nothing wrong with that!

I was jokking about actually letting him get a dog if he got in shape! He'd never manage it anyway, so I wouldn't have to worry about it!

JudyKayTee agrees: Great answer - any questions can be answered by reading other posts, seeing what the history is.

Judy, I'm sorry I missed the child count. I was trying to understand the comments about her husband." he couldn't take care of a goldfish, if that gives you a clue",or " he just doesn't "get" it", even " he's lazy and impatient".
Then it comes to printing a copy of this post, but she'd SKIP pages. Why? She must not talk to him like that, I hope not. Either way, she's made it crystal clear that she doesn't like dogs. And that her house is going to forever remain dogless. I'm sure a poor dog in that type of environment would always have its tail between its legs... so they're(dogs) better off anyway.

I work with a guy who hates dogs too, so it's not a new issue with me. However, the older I get, the more I realize that dogs will be part of my life until the day I die.

Perhaps I can paint a better picture... my husband more than likely has these visions in his head of this perfect, well behaved, trustworthy dog that never does anything wrong... that's not reality! He doesn't have that consistency and attention that is needed to raise a puppy into a good dog. I think some of it is him wanting that feeling of being a kid with his dog... but he forgets, his mom did the hard stuff! He didn't have to train that dog or clean up after it at all, he just got to do the fun stuff, so what's in his head isn't the reality of dog ownership. Not much that he takes on actually gets completed, so his basic background backs up my assumptions of how he would be with a dog. That's what I meant by saying that "he couldn't care for a goldfish"... that he just doesn't have that "stick-with-it" attitude towards stuff. Like the weight bench-he had these visions of being totally buff, but since he worked out a few times a week for a couple weeks and didn't get a six-pack instantaneously, he just dropped it. So, I think he wouldn't follow through with the proper training of a puppy (potty, basic behavior) after he has a few hard times with the pup. He'd probably just give up, and the dog would be banished outside and never get any contact... Trust me, I know him... he just fails to recognize this about himself. Like I mentioned about the silly contract I made him sign regarding the weight bench, and it was hilarious when I ended up being right on about everything I put in the silly thing!

Oh, you wouldn't believe your ears sometimes regarding the way I talk to him! I think I've maybe desensitized him a bit! Maybe that's why he keeps on asking!

Some of the comments here are just mild jokes, so you don't have to take every word so seriously! The whole "print this out" is just a joke really... I know what I'm going to say next time, I got a few things out of this conversation, some of it was just from talking it out and realizing things that I already knew just don't think of on the spot. So the banter here has helped, and I appreciate the comments and conversation!

Oh, and thank you, artlady!

Yeah, exactly, NoHelp! I think everyone thinks like that at least to some degree! I remember wanting nothing more than to get out of my parents house, but then moving back in a few times! Or an ex-boyfriend... after a while, sometimes they don't seem so bad and you forget how you felt when you broke up! Happens all the time!

Very true, everyone wants a perfectly behaved, lovely dog but it just isn't always so.
You have to put the effort into training the dog to be well behaved and unfortunately if the dog isn't well behaved from the start a lot of people just can't be bothered with it, not the dogs fault at all, it is the owners for not training it.

My dog was almost perfectly behaved by 16 1/2. The other 16 years he was just our love.:)

My dog was almost perfectly behaved by 16 1/2. The other 16 years he was just our love.:)

Haha, mine are only 1 and 2 years old and they are little terrors, Mum just bought a Citronella collar, I can't wait 'till I can borrow it! Grrr :D

I could never live without dogs, I have been around them my entire life but I can understand where passmeby is coming from, I feel a similar way about cats, I have just never really liked them... kittens yes, cats no :D

I like cats and I have had cats and I have taken care of them as I have all my animals, but I have never got attached like a dog.
I still cry like a baby when they die.:(

How do you guys do it?! Is it just the want of the companionship? I honestly don't understand the love or feeling of need for dogs, I just never felt that way. I never had that feeling of need or want of a dogs companionship. When I see a dog or puppy, I don't see "cute" I see chewed up shoes, destroyed house, liability, hair everywhere and the smell! But when I see other animals, I do feel a sort of "want" for the animal, so maybe I do understand a little bit. But the animals that most excite me are large animals like cows and horses. I really shudder at the thought of a dog in my house! I don't really understand the whole desire or the sharing of your house with the dog! The dog really takes over your entire life. So that part, I will never understand!

Believe it or not, the smell of cows doesn't bother me a bit, nor does shovling their, uh, you know! But a dog... eeeeew! And it's inside! Double eeeew!

Yeah I always end up getting a dog and then can't go many places. My son has been keeping our Pit bulls at his house and he can't even go to visit my daughter because he has to stay home with them.
I don't know how others do it either.
You don't always know what kind of personality they are going to have until you are attached. My last dog had separation anxiety and cried and chewed things if you left
I miss all my dogs and feel really bad because I think they got sick and died before their time and all. They were always really healthy until they got old but then they would go fast.

Haha.
I guess it's just how you were brought up with them.
I had 26 Barbie dolls when I was little, my mum and dad got a new Great Dane puppy...
I then had 26 Barbie Doll Halves... some just had legs, others just had the top half.
I saw it as a reason to get new Barbie Dolls :D

Now I'm older I just love the companionship, they love you completely and expect nothing in return... well except for food :D

I don't know what it is but I just smile when I see them.

How are your feelings towards monkeys? Lol
If there is one animal I couldn't stand being anywhere near it is a monkey! Damn dirty, smelly, poo flinging... relatives :eek:

passmeby agrees: Yep, different strokes for different folks! I would def prefer a kitty! Or a horse. Or a cow... :)
That would still give the kids a great opportunity to have a beloved pet.Why not a cat?
I had a cat that acted just like a dog.She would fetch and everything.
I think that may be a great compromise.

Now I'm older I just love the companionship, they love you completely and expect nothing in return... well except for food :D

I don't know what it is but I just smile when I see them.

:

Yeah they do have their bonuses when doing a pro and con to decide do I want a boyfriend or a dog

Yeah they do have their bonuses when doing a pro and con to decide do I want a bf or a dog

That's pretty funny :)
At least with a dog you know you will have endless love and loyalty!

Haha, I would go with the dog N0help :p

Poo eating too.I was at the zoo with my kids one day and there was two monkeys on a rope and the one in back was picking poo out of the other one and having a feast! My youngest almost peed his pants:)

Reason number 6,572 not to like monkeys.

Monkeys do stink and have some crazy behavior! Now that would be a tough pet to handle! Monkeys themselves are funny to me, but you know, I think monkey toys are cuter than the real thing! My daughter has a stuffed monkey that she sleeps with, she's had it forever, it's so ratty now! But she HAS to have it to sleep! We have a monkey puppet too, and she loves that!

Oh! I almost forgot! This morning I had a doggie in my house! My daughter had gone outside and brought her "friend" in for a visit. It belongs to a neighbor, she's a fat little Jack Russel. She's cute, but out the door she went! She goes around the neighborhood eating garbage and has no flea collar or anything so I didn't want any poo (nasty garbage-eating poo! ) or fleas in the house, so I let her play with the dog outside.

My kids do love animals, they get so excited to see really any kind of animal. For now, they have the 2 dwarf hamsters, and that's enough! I'm trying to teach my older daughter to take good care of animals, she's been slacking lately. She always had really enjoyed helping out with them, but the last time we cleaned the cage she didn't help. :( I've got to really keep on her about it, I can't let her get away with slacking off! I'm hoping that the hamsters will be a good teaching tool.

Monkeys do stink and have some crazy behavior!! Now that would be a tough pet to handle!! Monkeys themselves are funny to me, but you know, I think monkey toys are cuter than the real thing!! My daughter has a stuffed monkey that she sleeps with, she's had it forever, it's so ratty now!! But she HAS to have it to sleep!! We have a monkey puppet too, and she loves that!!

Oh!! I almost forgot!! This morning I had a doggie in my house!! My daughter had gone outside and brought her "friend" in for a visit. It belongs to a neighbor, she's a fat little Jack Russel. She's cute, but out the door she went!! She goes around the neighborhood eating garbage and has no flea collar or anything so I didn't want any poo (nasty garbage-eating poo!!) or fleas in the house, so I let her play with the dog outside.

My kids do love animals, they get so excited to see really any kind of animal. For now, they have the 2 dwarf hamsters, and that's enough!! I'm trying to teach my older daughter to take good care of animals, she's been slacking lately. She always had really enjoyed helping out with them, but the last time we cleaned the cage she didn't help. :( I've got to really keep on her about it, I can't let her get away with slacking off!! I'm hoping that the hamsters will be a good teaching tool.

It's a great teaching tool and a must have on everyone's tool belt.
Responsibility is getting so overshadowed these days with so many kids.
They are spoiled and that is cool but to be alowwed free riegn and to have no structure or rules is insnanity !

The new thing is to never say the word *NO* to your child under the age of 3.Are you kidding me ?

Sorry ,got off on a tangent.Rant:confused:

If one of Hubbys arguments was the kids need a pet than he should be acceptable to the idea of a cat.

He does not hate them and you like them,it seems like a good idea to me.
So many cats need homes,it is a sad epidemic.Heartbreaking.

Thanks Debbie Downer :) That's me !
Keep us updated Good Luck!

Reason number 6,572 not to like monkeys.

LOL! Oh so that's so funny!
My BF's brother hates monkeys too and you sound just like him.I have tears!
You sound the same ,too funny.
I think they are great as wild animals,I find them fascinating ,I love anthropology and zoology so that is why.
Im still laughing!! Thank-you Shaz.
It is nearly 3 am in New York.
Thanks for the :p:D

I saw the perfect pet at the store. A fish tank on dvd. No clean up but the joy of having! Also there are virtual pets! No mess in the house a great plus there. Lol Down side is you can't touch or feel, but if the virtual pet is starved and dies then he will know that he isn't ready for a pet. A friend did that with her kids and they did great for about 2 months(deal was the pet had to stay alive for 6 months) then it got to be too much work, asked her to take care of their "pets", she said no the deal was you had to take care of your own pet. Kids have decided having a dog would be too much to handle with them doing sports and school and chores too. So no pets.

The new thing is to never say the word *NO* to your child under the age of 3.Are you kidding me ?

Tell me you're kidding? NO is one of my favorite words! I feel so old saying this, but what is this world coming to?!

Just a thought if you never say "no" what are you suppose to say instead?

Just a thought if you never say "no" what are you suppose to say instead?

Oh Sweetheart Mommy doesn't like when you do that (GAG)

I'm staying "old school" when it comes to my kiddos!

LOL! Oh so thats so funny!
My BF's brother hates monkeys too and you sound just like him.I have tears!
You sound the same ,too funny.
I think they are great as wild animals,I find them fascinating ,I love anthropology and zoology so that is why.
Im still laughing !!! Thank-you Shaz.
It is nearly 3 am in New York.
Thanks for the :p:D

Haha, oh I think you brother and me would get along very well, I could talk about my hatred of monkeys all day.

Gosh, not saing "no" to kids... that's a little extreme, my little brother doesn't listen when you say no to him though and he is 6! A firm smack over the head does the trick :D

Oooh I love those virtual fishtanks.
I just bought my partner a fish tank that plugs into your computer, it's a little box that you put water and 2 fake fish in, it syncs up with your computer and when you click on feed, play or medicine they swim around the tank!

Very cool, I will take a picture at some point.

Haha, oh I think you brother and me would get along very well, I could talk about my hatred of monkeys all day.

Gosh, not saing "no" to kids... that's a little extreme, my little brother doesn't listen when you say no to him though and he is 6! A firm smack over the head does the trick :D

Oooh I love those virtual fishtanks.
I just bought my partner a fish tank that plugs into your computer, it's a little box that you put water and 2 fake fish in, it syncs up with your computer and when you click on feed, play or medicine they swim around the tank!

Very cool, I will take a picture at some point.

That sounds really cool.We all know how soothing looking at fish it.
I got to see this :)

Haha, oh I think you brother and me would get along very well, I could talk about my hatred of monkeys all day.

Gosh, not saing "no" to kids... that's a little extreme, my little brother doesn't listen when you say no to him though and he is 6! A firm smack over the head does the trick :D

Oooh I love those virtual fishtanks.
I just bought my partner a fish tank that plugs into your computer, it's a little box that you put water and 2 fake fish in, it syncs up with your computer and when you click on feed, play or medicine they swim around the tank!

Very cool, I will take a picture at some point.

When you said a firm smack on the head does the trick,I heard your Aussie accent. I can't stop laughing :D
The smack on the head I would give that a no ,maybe a tiny cuff:)That gets them every time but that wasn't what I was suggesting to anyone :)

Haha, I do not have an accent, you do :p

I took some pictures, kind of hard to take photos of something moving but I did my best...

It has a pretty blue light too but the flash on my camera drowned it out :rolleyes:

passmeby agrees: Cool!! A virtual pet sounds good to me!! Oh yeah, now I remember, what were those things called?? "Tamagachis" or something like that?

"Tamagochis" :) Got only the 'o' instead of the 'a'.

Well, I wasn't aware of so much... and from that new perspective, I would not more suggest you having any dog. Having two hamsters are enough, and if even there, there has been 'problems' about the caring of them, I can't imagine what will happen to a dog.

If you want to know about my dog, she's been good at most times. In Mauritius, most if not all people leave their dog outdoors. They have their kennel though. The only thing my dog did 'bad' was digging holes in the garden. But that was because she likes to sleep on soil... Apart from that, she rarely barked at night for a long time. The only time she barked like mad was when there were two strangers who got into the garden :eek: Fortunately, we saw them, called the cops, but they fled. I don't know what would have happened if she wasn't there...

My dog was almost perfectly behaved by 16 1/2. The other 16 years he was just our love.:)

You gave me a greenie and said 'I don't know how you do it'

So, I'm saying that I am just a person who needs and wants that unconditional love, no matter how much work it might be. I know it's not for everyone, but I have to have it. It's like a drug. I NEED to see my pups happy, I need to be with them (not all the time), I need for them to love me, need to see them when I get off work jumping at the door, get home from the grocery store jumping at the door, shopping, etc. I love it and need it because it makes me feel whole and because I know in my heart that they really love me no matter what, even if I forget to give them a treat.

I spent thousands of dollars on that 16 1/2 year old dog and it was worth it to me to keep him with me. I still have his ashes waiting for the right day to join his brother 'Bob' in the garden, but haven't done it yet.

I have to stop now because I'm crying, but to you're your comment, that's not how I do it, but why I do it.:)

This should be a separate thread. I've asked that it be moved.

If you husband cannot "hear" you on this issue I can only imagine how he behaves about everything else.

What is your question? Should you leave, should yous stay?

If you are this unhappy you have to talk to someone and get the strength to say, "We are NOT getting a dog." And then if he does, walk away.

This should be a separate thread. I've asked that it be moved.

If you husband cannot "hear" you on this issue I can only imagine how he behaves about everything else.

What is your question? Should you leave, should yous stay?

If you are this unhappy you have to talk to someone and get the strength to say, "We are NOT getting a dog." And then if he does, walk away.

Yes, it should be in Marriage or Relationships.
I don't think I can move it there though, only the mod gods can.

EDIT - Yep apparently I can, it is now in "Relationships"

[QUOTE=shazamataz;1916515]Yes, it should be in Marriage or Relationships.
I don't think I can move it there though, only the mod gods can.

EDIT - Yep apparently I can, it is now in "Relationships"[/QUOTE

The Question is ; should I find a home for the dog now or wait the 3 weeks until he gets back?

[QUOTE=shazamataz;1916515]Yes, it should be in Marriage or Relationships.
I don't think I can move it there though, only the mod gods can.

EDIT - Yep apparently I can, it is now in "Relationships"[/QUOTE

The Question is ; should I find a home for the dog now or wait the 3 weeks until he gets back?

It really depends on what you are going to do with your husband.
Are you serious about leaving him or are you going to stay with him?

If you intend to stay with him or at least try to work things out then I would definitely wait until he gets back.

[QUOTE=shazamataz;1916515]Yes, it should be in Marriage or Relationships.
I don't think I can move it there though, only the mod gods can.

EDIT - Yep apparently I can, it is now in "Relationships"[/QUOTE

The Question is ; should I find a home for the dog now or wait the 3 weeks until he gets back?

I haven't seen this post for a few days and hadn't realized it had mushroomed into a relationship issue. Didn't bother going back to find what went wrong, I guess I get the gist of it. Your husband got a dog, right, and then went on a trip? Correct me, then, I am assuming.

The point I guess is, given how you feel about dogs, how are you going to spend 3 weeks with a new dog ! I will put my feelings on the line and say, do your best to find a decent home for the dog, don't wait three weeks.I am thinking about the dog. There could be someone out there who could care for a lovely animal for three weeks bet ter then you could under the circumstances, worrying what you will say, what to do with the dog, etc.

Just get it over and done with and move on with your life. Before I say more, confirm that he bought the dog without telling you, okay. I don't care if this in the relationship forum right now. I have to have my say.

Tick

One of the reasons I couldn't be bothered going back and checking is because I ran across a lot of posts that were completely off topic. Doesn't anyone around here understand 'stay on task'. That's taught in schools all over the place.

If someone starts a thread then we should all try to keep it simple, then we could eliminate a lot of drivel that isn't about the original thread.

Okay, finished. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Tick arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

One of the reasons I couldnt be bothered going back and checking is because I ran across a lot of posts that were completely off topic. Doesnt anyone around here understand 'stay on task'. Thats taught in schools all over the place.

If someone starts a thread then we should all try to keep it simple, then we could eliminate a lot of drivel that isnt about the original thread.

Okay, finished. Its a pet peeve of mine.

tick arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh !!!


Haha yep, and to add to your pet peeve the new information is actually from/about a new user that piggy backed onto passmebys thread. That's why I moved it to "Relationships" ;)

[QUOTE=deb167;1916672]

I havent seen this post for a few days and hadnt realized it had mushroomed into a relationship issue. Didnt bother going back to find what went wrong, I guess I get the gist of it. Your husband got a dog, right, and then went on a trip? Correct me, then, I am assuming.

The point I guess is, given how you feel about dogs, how are you going to spend 3 weeks with a new dog ! I will put my feelings on the line and say, do your best to find a decent home for the dog, dont wait three weeks.I am thinking about the dog. There could be someone out there who could care for a lovely animal for three weeks bet ter then you could under the circumstances, worrying what you will say, what to do with the dog, etc.

Just get it over and done with and move on with your life. Before I say more, confirm that he bought the dog without telling you, okay. I dont care if this in the relationship forum right now. I have to have my say.

tick



It didn't "blossom into a relationship issue." It always WAS a relationship issue which you would realize if you read the entire thread instead of just a few posts.

As always, if you are unhappy with the way a thread is going, report it to a moderator.

One of the reasons I couldnt be bothered going back and checking is because I ran across a lot of posts that were completely off topic. Doesnt anyone around here understand 'stay on task'. Thats taught in schools all over the place.

If someone starts a thread then we should all try to keep it simple, then we could eliminate a lot of drivel that isnt about the original thread.

Okay, finished. Its a pet peeve of mine.

tick arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh !!!



And so you posted this pet peeve on this post?

Isn't that going off topic, particularly because it appears you've already expressed your disssatisfaction once.

There IS a pet peeve thread going.

[QUOTE=deb167;1916672]

I havent seen this post for a few days and hadnt realized it had mushroomed into a relationship issue. Didnt bother going back to find what went wrong, I guess I get the gist of it. Your husband got a dog, right, and then went on a trip? Correct me, then, I am assuming.

The point I guess is, given how you feel about dogs, how are you going to spend 3 weeks with a new dog ! I will put my feelings on the line and say, do your best to find a decent home for the dog, dont wait three weeks.I am thinking about the dog. There could be someone out there who could care for a lovely animal for three weeks bet ter then you could under the circumstances, worrying what you will say, what to do with the dog, etc.

Just get it over and done with and move on with your life. Before I say more, confirm that he bought the dog without telling you, okay. I dont care if this in the relationship forum right now. I have to have my say.

tick

He bought the dog knowing I didn't want one and although I admire beautiful dogs I think they are too much of a responsibility for me, I am not capable of caring for a dog, I have too many problems of my own. My husband is a marine and he is gone for a month at a time every other month. I have tried to take care of the dog but he is untrained, although I try to train him according to the AKA and other training methods I have not succeeded and am unable to like the dog, the smell and behavior of the animals is not pleasant for me, actually it is downright disgusting to me at time, when I have to clean up the dogs mess I feel physically ill and I am resentful that I have to care for an animal I neither like nor want. He will be gone every year for 6 months in succession as well as every other month to total 9 months out of the year. He has agreed that I can give the dog to someone that will care for it, now I just have to figure out if I should call the shelter on base or if I should find a family that wants a dog online.

[QUOTE=tickle;1916779]

He bought the dog knowing I didn't want one and although I admire beautiful dogs i think they are too much of a responsibility for me, I am not capable of caring for a dog, I have too many problems of my own. My husband is a marine and he is gone for a month at a time every other month. I have tried to take care of the dog but he is untrained, although I try to train him according to the AKA and other training methods I have not succeeded and am unable to like the dog, the smell and behavior of the animals is not pleasant for me, actually it is downright disgusting to me at time, when I have to clean up the dogs mess I feel physically ill and I am resentful that I have to care for an animal I neither like nor want. He will be gone every year for 6 months in succession as well as every other month to total 9 months out of the year. He has agreed that I can give the dog to someone that will care for it, now i just have to figure out if I should call the shelter on base or if i should find a family that wants a dog online.

Oh god... Where to start. For god's sakes, yes find the puppy a new home. He deseerves to go to a family that loves and cherishes him. I feel physically ill reading this post. Usually I would tell you to suck it up and take care of the dog as it is your responsibility but not now. God, through out his life this dog has felt nothing but resentment, and that saddens me:(. Try and find a good family, do this last thing right. Remember dogs do not get to choose which family they go home with, its us who choose them.

EDIT: WHY IS IT SAYING THAT TICKLE POSTED THIS???

[QUOTE=tickle;1916779]
i just have to figure out if I should call the shelter on base or if i should find a family that wants a dog online.

The shelter on base is a good option as long as they have a good track record. It will take you forever on line unless the dog is a popular breed and has a pedigree, but then you won't have a good idea if it is a decent home or not.

Tick

{QUOTE=deb167;1918087}

Oh god... Where to start. For god's sakes, yes find the puppy a new home. He deseerves to go to a family that loves and cherishes him. I feel physically ill reading this post. Usually I would tell you to suck it up and take care of the dog as it is your responsibility but not now. God, through out his life this dog has felt nothing but resentment, and that saddens me:(. Try and find a good family, do this last thing right. Remember dogs do not get to choose which family they go home with, its us who choose them.

EDIT: WHY IS IT SAYING THAT TICKLE POSTED THIS???

That's because deb167 made a mistake earlier with her post, she deleted the ']' symbol after the quote code. Then, successive quotes messed up. You see the part I put into curly brackets? '{}' These were in square brackets '[]' If I have left it like that, it would seem that deb197 posted what I quoted from your post.