View Full Version : Learning To Be Unselfish In A Relationship
jaxs_82
Jul 29, 2009, 07:16 PM
Ok so I have been dating my boyfriend for 5months now I love him very much and I know that he loves me. When we got together I was aware he was going to leave to either play football or go to school. The last 5 months he's been with me every single day. Hes now decided that he is going to move and go back to school. I told him Id support him in whatever he decided. Now that he is moving I'm dealing with it in a wrong way by being mad at him and taking it out on him which causes us to argue continusly. Im only caring about my feeling and not his. Does anyone have advice on how how to deal wit this issue. I'd really appreciate it. Thanxs:)
mudweiser
Jul 29, 2009, 10:37 PM
It's hard to deal with a partner moving away, especially if it's far away.
The last thing you want to do is to make him feel guilty for doing so. You do not want to hold him back from his future- nor do you want to be the one to be blamed for it if he does decided to stay.
Support him. Zip your lip about how "unfair" it is. You knew it was going to happen- if you love him then you should let him go and let him accomplish his goals. I know it bites, but you should be there for him; don't you think he's sad or stressed that he's leaving you behind?
Which is better have him leave on a happy note, knowing he has a loving, supportive girlfriend or leave sad, guilty about leaving his depressed girlfriend.
Sarah
HelpinHere
Jul 29, 2009, 11:03 PM
Well, the fact that you have realized your fault is a very good sign. Congratulations!
What are you getting mad at him for? Whatever it is, I'm sure that you should just stop for a minute and think about why you are getting mad. Then, appologize to him, and get past it. Speaking from experience, once you get past your anger the first time, it is very easy.
Always remember. You say you love him, and you say he loves you just as much. If this is true, then he misses you just as much as you miss him. Don't think it's only you, because that will just make him feel guilty and pressured, and may make him turn away from you.
taoplr
Jul 29, 2009, 11:14 PM
You know exactly what to do. You know exactly where you are wrong. Just be true to yourself and do the right thing.
You deserve acknowledgment for being so honest. That's a great strength. It takes that strength to let someone go and do their life. That's what love is.
Tao
jaxs_82
Jul 30, 2009, 01:01 AM
It's hard to deal with a partner moving away, especially if it's far away.
The last thing you want to do is to make him feel guilty for doing so. You do not want to hold him back from his future- nor do you want to be the one to be blamed for it if he does decided to stay.
Support him. Zip your lip about how "unfair" it is. You knew it was going to happen- if you love him then you should let him go and let him accomplish his goals. I know it bites, but you should be there for him; don't you think he's sad or stressed that he's leaving you behind?
Which is better have him leave on a happy note, knowing he has a loving, supportive girlfriend or leave sad, guilty about leaving his depressed girlfriend.
Sarah
Thank You so much hearing this from all of you helps me put everything into perspective
jaxs_82
Jul 30, 2009, 01:03 AM
Well, the fact that you have realized your fault is a very good sign. Congratulations!
What are you getting mad at him for? Whatever it is, I'm sure that you should just stop for a minute and think about why you are getting mad. Then, appologize to him, and get past it. Speaking from experience, once you get past your anger the first time, it is very easy.
Always remember. You say you love him, and you say he loves you just as much. If this is true, then he misses you just as much as you miss him. Don't think it's only you, because that will just make him feel guilty and pressured, and may make him turn away from you.
Thanxs so much this is such helpful advice
I wish
Jul 30, 2009, 06:45 AM
If you really cared about him, you would want him to do what's best for himself and what makes him happy. Seeing him happy should also make you happy.
If the situation was reversed, you would want his support and you would want him to be happy for you too!