PDA

View Full Version : Is this going to work?


montecarlo42507
Jul 28, 2009, 08:50 PM
So I am seeing this guy and we are complete opposites... he is a wild child who likes to party and meet new people and I am a very conservative christain who is shy and enjoys dorky things like reading and spending time with my family...

We went out once before about a year ago for 2 months and it ended badly... it was like he woke up one morning and just decided to give up he stopped calling and everything without so much as an explination and I had to break up with him on the answering machine... we were apart for 4 months and then he started coming around my work because he was working with one of the subcontractors that my company uses to do labor work... he appologised and said that his grandfather had died and he was unable to go home for the funeral due to lack of funds, so his family was giving him a hard time about it and he just went into jerk mode and that he knew he had handled everything the wrong way and letting me go was his biggest regret... I know that his excuse can not justify how he treated me before, but I still had feelings for him so we talked for about a month after that and decided to try going out again...

Now we have been going out for about 6 months and for the most part it has been great... I am head over heels in love with him and he tells me he loves me more (he is a dork! ) he calls me almost every morning to wish me a good day, then again on his lunch break and then again when he gets off work if we are not doing something with each other that day... however, there are two major flaws in our relationship that still exist...

First, he still will not see me on saturdays if I try to make plans with him he simply will say we will see and then like clockwork make some lame excuse for why we can't spend time together that day... it has gotten to the point that I call him around lunch time and that is the only time we speak to each other on Saturday because if I didn't call him we would not talk to each other at all

Second, he refuses to do anything with me that involves my family... I will admit that both my mom and brother did make their problems with him known when we first started seeing each other again, but they have not said anything to him that could be considered rude in months... I am extremely close to my family and he knows it bothers me that they do not get along... sometimes it seems like he is not even willing to try to get to know them at all...

So are these problems that will ultimately end our relationship? Or am I being overly critical because he has hurt me in the past? Is there anything you suggest me to do to help improve the situation? Or do I just need to stop living in a dream world and face reality?

mudweiser
Jul 28, 2009, 08:54 PM
so i am seeing this guy and we are complete opposites.... he is a wild child who likes to party and meet new people and i am a very conservative christain who is shy and enjoys dorky things like reading and spending time with my family...

Will it work?

I highly doubt it.

Different goals. Different morals. Different peers. Just too different.

Either he'll have to change or you will- frankly, I don't think he'll want to. Leaving you to drop what you believe in and changing yourself completely... and well that's never a good thing to do [for anybody].

This isn't a good relationship for you, unless he suddenly became a "good boy".

I could see perhaps a friendship- but a healthy relationship... no.


Sarah

N0help4u
Jul 28, 2009, 09:46 PM
I don't know if it will work
But I can understand him not wanting to be around your family since they do not accept him

I would also want to know why he does not see you on Saturday. The reason or lack of reason could be a determining factor. Like is he hiding something or just wants a day to be a couch potato?

dreamingartist
Jul 28, 2009, 09:55 PM
He doesn't see you on saturdays because that is the day he goes out and gets drunk and flirts with other girls at the bar. And he doesn't want to see your parents because they can see through him like a piece of glass. Ask yourself this question. Are you sleeping with him? Is that against your christian morals? Are you compromising to be with him. Is he bettering your spiritual relationship. I think its pretty obvious what is happening. You are compromising your beliefs and morals for this guy. He is using you for comfort, love, support, and maybe sex... and in return you are hoping that it will work out?