When I was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then I got into a relationship (which was a bad idea I've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so I put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when I was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as I prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as I try to run straight to God. I love him he knows I do, but I'm having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but I feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something I like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying every time I pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it I'm so miserable and I want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but I can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but every time I call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE I beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.

When you ask God to forgive you and you still feel sick inside it is YOU that are not forgiving yourself.
You need to give it all to God and just start living a godly life and have faith that he forgives you.
He says that when you repent and turn back to him he throws your sins as far as the east is to the west and forgets them.

You are the one holding on to it. In time the closer you get to God the easier it will be to get over this.
I have been there and it takes time. Read your Bible, do some topic studies, find some good Christians, pray and hang in there.
And remember lesson learned don't fall back again God will bring you someone special in time. The more you yield yourself to God the more this feeling will vanish.

First, you need to grieve over the failed relationship. God didn't leave you, and is there waiting for you to work through the failure. How can you do that?

Also remember the story of the woman that pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of Jesus' garment. He turned and said 'WHO touched me'. He was being touched by all these people around him yet he turned for that one woman touching him and noticed.
Why? Because she pushed forward and made a special effort when it seemed like she couldn't or wouldn't make it to touch his garment. Yet Jesus turned and noticed.
That is what you have to do.

When i was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then i got into a relationship (which was a bad idea i've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so i put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when i was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as i prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as i try to run straight to God. I love him he knows i do, but im having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but i feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something i like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying everytime i pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it im so miserable and i want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but i can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but everytime i call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE i beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.


Sometimes it helps to keep a journal of our relationship with God. List your prayers and answered prayers along with your difficulties and how God brought you through. Then when "things" get a little messy in our life, and we think that God has left us, we can look back over what HE HAS DONE and His faithfulness. It makes the "rough" ride bearable since we know that God will see us through.

Also, about forgiveness, we only have to ask God once with a sincere heart to forgive us. If we truly did that, then He has forgiven us. He promises in His Word that He will not bring it up again. When Satan or his demons accuse you or bring up the fact that God will not hear you, or that you are not forgiven, just remind Satan that God has promised in His Word to forgive and forget; Satan has to flee. Have faith and trust God. God wants a relationship with you probably even more than you do with Him.

Remember to always put God first in whatever you do. That includes choosing the person you date. Spend time with God daily and seek His will for your life. If you are a young person, hang out with other believers. Get involved with your church group. God has a plan for your life as you know. Don't let the "world" pull you away from following after Him. All Christians have difficult times. Its just a matter of, "Do we immediately run to God at the first "hint" of difficulty (and when good times come) OR do we continue on and try to handle it ourselves?"

Being a Christian is a growing process, learn from your mistakes and move forward. Remember, God never walks away, it is always we that do that.

Read God's promises as in Proverbs 3:4-6 (New International Version)

4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. [a]

Rita

Faith seems pretty easy when it's never been tested.

You said you are praying for the pain to subside... have you considered the possibility that subsiding the pain is not the solution that He wants you to have?

You know there is nothing that can be put before you that you cannot overcome. And it sounds like you still have this HUGE unresolved issue in your life that is following you around everywhere like a little demon in the corner.

Understanding... acceptance... forgiveness... not just for the boy that left you but for yourself, as well.

We are all always fighting our own sins for our soul.

First one would have to define God to come to any kind of understanding in a reference sense. Maybe some time soon I will give my definition of God. I like the non-Biblical quote, "God helps them who help themselves". Whoever thought that up might not have understood it's full wisdom.
What is important is right now or the present which is reality. When you think about it, there is only the present. The past and future are only in the mind. I try to do things that help keep me in the present, where I feel better, think better, and make better decisions. So, my advice is to reach first base, before attempting anything else. I like going for walks on the beach and doing physical things that require my attention be in the present...

Past, present, future and living in the present really doesn't get you closer to God though.
It gets you more aware of your being in relation to here and now and you yourself but it never really got me closer to God. Closer in the sense that I prioritized my life a bit better but that's about it.

You don't find God; He finds you. He is in the face of each person you see. Jesus' second great commandment was to reflect God's love for you by giving that love to others. Find ways to show love -- read my "signature" below this.

There's an old Sunday School motto - Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. That spells J O Y.

We are blessed by God to be a blessing to each other.

I am not a Christian but I do believe in God.

My faith in God was tested the most when my parents died. I prayed all day every day for a miracle. I begged God to let them survive.

When my Dad lost his battle I hated God. Why didn't he answer my prayers? I was so angry, so hurt, I literally screamed out loud that I hated him, that I would never again trust him. I meant it with all my heart.

Then, 6 1/2 months later, my mother died. Again I screamed at God. How could he leave me all alone? How could he take two such wonderful people from this earth? Why? There had to be a reason. I wasn't willing to listen though.

It took a long time for me to realize that just because I asked for something, it didn't mean that I should be granted what I asked for.

There's a reason for everything, and only God can decide, only God knows.

Do I still wonder why? Yes, I do. Do I have a relationship with God again? Yes, I do.

I asked for a miracle, the answer was no.

He's still there for you, you just have to accept that what you asked for, it wasn't meant to be.

Peace. :)

I am not a Christian but I do believe in God.

My faith in God was tested the most when my parents died. I prayed all day every day for a miracle. I begged God to let them survive.

When my Dad lost his battle I hated God. Why didn't he answer my prayers? I was so angry, so hurt, I literally screamed out loud that I hated him, that I would never again trust him. I meant it with all my heart.

Then, 6 1/2 months later, my mother died. Again I screamed at God. How could he leave me all alone? How could he take two such wonderful people from this earth? Why? There had to be a reason. I wasn't willing to listen though.

It took a long time for me to realize that just because I asked for something, it didn't mean that I should be granted what I asked for.

There's a reason for everything, and only God can decide, only God knows.

Do I still wonder why? Yes, I do. Do I have a relationship with God again? Yes, I do.

I asked for a miracle, the answer was no.

He's still there for you, you just have to accept that what you asked for, it wasn't meant to be.

Peace. :)

That's the way you have to look at it. God has three answers when we pray for things we want
Yes and it is his perfect will
Or it is his permissive will and we learn a lesson from it

N0 and we accept it knowing he has his reasons
Or we go against it and again we learn a lesson from it

Not now and we accept it knowing he has his reasons
Or not now and we again go against his perfect will

Talk about ''in the best interest of the child''

We are God's children when we reach out to him
But we may not always feel his presence it doesn't mean he is not there.
It just means we are going through the valley.
There will be many valleys and mountain tops through the years.
The thing is are you going to stick with God through it all and not go by feeling.
Feelings can be misleading Faith is the better choice.

NOhelp4u, please define God?

God is the creator and he wants us to have a relationship with him. He is righteous and he has his absolute truth.
He can not go against his nature.

I don't know exactly what you want defined about God.

NOhelp4u, please define God?

The Christian God, seeing as that's what the OP is asking about.

This is not the place to start a debate.

I don't think Oenitity is looking for a debate but it being an open board could well turn into just that.

I agree the point is that OP did say they WERE a Christian and she is trying to get back to God
So defining God really isn't the problem here I don't think.

If OP had said how do you find God then it would be open to defining God.

No debate... I already gave my comment to OP, and I think a debate was trying to start of that comment. I will say Good Day too all...
This forum is simply, not my cup of tea...

I wasn't trying to start a debate with my early comment. I wouldn't even have said it if OP hadn't said they were Christian trying to find their way back to God because I know a lot of the spiritual faith is based on past, present and future as you were talking about but it wasn't (jn this case) what OP was referring to.

I really do enjoy talking the self help new age spirituality stuff but OP can bring that up if they want.

From experience I can relate to feeling this way. I felt that when I prayed or talked to God, he wasn't hearing me and was so far from me because of my sins. And even when repenting I knew I lived in sin. It seems you sincerely love the Lord to feel bad or guilty about your sins. I want to share with you what I was reminded. First of all. Isn't no guy in this world going to do for you what God has and will do for you. The hurt from our experiences indeed distracts us spiritually. But if I'm not mistaken God does tell us in Hebrews 13:5, that he will never leave or forsake us. Our sins and lifestyles may cause us to fall away from himat times to the point we may not feel or hear from him, but that doesn't mean that HE is not with us. God also reminded me once that Jesus Christ died for ALL my sins. OUR sins. Meaning past, present, and future sins. Jesus did not suffer and die for nothing. He did it for us. So when we sin and become truly repentant, we can be forgiven. I empasize TRULY. We are not too bad for the blood of Jesus. We are not too bad for Him. I told God that I was feeling so far from him and I also expressed the fact that I felt so ashamed of the things I had been doing. I told him I would understand if he was not hearing or looking at me. Later on I turned on the radio and heard this song:

It's 2 am, the ticking in the hall is keeping time
The clock is counting down to morning's light
Too many times I've crossed the line
And put my faith aside
And the regret I feel won't let me sleep tonight

And even though it feels like You're a million miles away
In the night time stillness I can hear You say:

Chorus
No height, no depth
Could keep you from my love
No thing that you could ever do
There's no place so far
That you are out of reach
No matter what you feel this still is true
No thing can keep my love from

I never thought I'd get so far from where I started
I must have left You one day at a time
And thinking of the things I've done and longing for what's lost
I can't believe You'd want me as I am

And even though it feels like I'm the smallest one on earth
Somehow Your quiet voice inside is heard

Chorus

No matter how we've fallen
No matter where we are
God's heart is always waiting
His arms are never far

Chorus


Erin O'Donnell on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads (http://www.myspace.com/erinodonnellmusic)

you can hear it on her myspace page
Best wishes

This is a very good question posted by Jor900. I've always wondered why some people have that spirituality in them - like they shout the halleluyahs' and all.

Others consider themselves to be christians and don't feel so spiritual. I'm one of those people. Back in the day, I felt so spiritual, I really did do everything in my life to reach my goals of serving Him.

Today, after a bad marriage, and a rude awakening that my religion wasn't the real deal, when it comes to spirituality I feel so blah.

Meanwhile some good friends around me have "woken up" from leading the so called bad life - lives filled with drugs, sex, etc, and now today, they're super spiritual.

So I wonder, how is it possible that some people become spiritual (even during problems) and others are just blah.

More importantly, what causes these people who weren't spiritual to "wake up" and become spiritual? It's not like they were praying to God when they were doing drugs, as an example, or when they were getting arrested by the cops. So why do they suddenly feel the spirituality?

God is His Word the bible, we need to read it every day. That's how we get to know
God and keep Him close, in our heart. We feed our spirit with His wisdom and
Knowledge that is in His word. Study to obey God's Word in everything, and keep
In His Will and His Way. Stay close to God, it is the secret to
Joy and peace in your life." I am the Way the Truth, and the Life".
"Draw close to God and He will draw close to you" James 4-8

The Lord Bless You, Maggie 3

dincher, good question.. should probably have started your own thread for it but ah well. But anyway...

Maggie 3, bless her heart... while her response would have likely elicited many o' "Amen"' at the local church, I'm afraid it is probably useless when directed toward someone in dincher's situation. This is surely the biggest blunder in Christian evangelism... and yet, all too common. It's kind of like trying to give someone directions to a party from where YOU ARE rather than from where the person you're directing is.

Anyway (again) dincher, I think the answer here is kind of two-fold. On one hand, I think it has a lot to do with where you put your faith. Maybe when you were younger, you put a lot more of your faith in God. You trusted that everything would be okay if you did so. Then you learned that putting your faith in God doesn't automatically give you the life that you deemed "perfect". So, consciously or subconsciously, you put your faith back into the world. Somewhere along the way you found than your "religion wasn't the real deal". That's good to hear. In my opinion, no "religion" is ever the "real deal". I hold the time in my life where I finally made that distinction very close.

But what happened next? Are you still stuck in a religion because you once subscribed to it but no longer believe in it? Or have you moved on and grown from the experiences you had to find the Truth? Or have you even tried? Did you give up the search? What DO you believe in, if anything?

Oh, and let me just throw this out there... just because someone goes to church on Sunday and throws out the halleluyahs' and all don't mean they got the spirituality in them. Know what I mean?

So the OTHER side to this answer is that you are comparing yourself to these friends of yours... the ones that used to lead the "bad life: sex, drugs, rock n roll". There's another name for those kind of people. We are called "addicts". We have a very distinctive trait in our personality. When we do drugs, we do them all the way... when we do sex, we do it all the way...

Why would you think that, when we do spirituality, it would be any different?

More importantly, what causes these people who weren't spiritual to "wake up" and become spiritual? It's not like they were praying to God when they were doing drugs, as an example, or when they were getting arrested by the cops. So why do they suddenly feel the spirituality?

Would you mind making this question as a new thread, it seems to be piggybacking a question.
Thanks

08:45 2009.10.30


Few random thoughts:



- Christian: this word is used only couple of time in the Bible. The disciples of Jesus (important expression; you can find very valuable references to it in the Bible.) were called Christians first at Antioch.

Acts 11:26
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+11:26&version=NIV
26and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch.

Number of hits for disciple in NIV: 292
Number of hits for christian in NIV: 5

So from now on I would like to refer to the followers of God, Jesus as disciples.





- there is no such thing as following Jesus on our own. It was not designed like that. Everyone has her or his own struggle and fight, and everyone stands in front of God at the end on their own, but Jesus commands just cannot be followed only on our own. None of us can make it on our own. (It is in our nature. I think the fact, that you asked for help is just a pretty good example of this :) )


John 13:14 (New International Version)
14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2013:14&version=NIV


John 13:34-35 (New International Version)
34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2013:34-35&version=NIV


John 15:12 (New International Version)
12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2015:12&version=NIV


John 15:17 (New International Version)
17This is my command: Love each other.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2015:17&version=NIV



Romans 12:4-5 (New International Version)
4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012:4-5&version=NIV

Romans 12:10 (New International Version)
10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.


Romans 12:16 (New International Version)
16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.


Romans 13:8 (New International Version)
8Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.



Romans 14:13 (New International Version)
13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.




Romans 14:19 (New International Version)
19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.



Romans 15:7 (New International Version)
7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.




Romans 15:14 (New International Version)
14I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.




- I grew up as a religious kid. I was not the best boy, but I was enthusiastic. In few words: I had my struggles. None of my prayers or acts was answered or none of them satisfied my needs deep inside. After a while of useless struggles I 'realized' there is no God and I gave up my religious lifestyle. I did many things which I enjoyed from one side and yet I was not feeling very comfortable with also, but I did not care anymore, as there was no God. Then God called me through His disciples. I studied the Bible, and had many of my questions answered. The greatest needs of my life were satisfied. I became one of the disciples. I was happier than ever, and even more enthusiastic. But I still kept my deepest struggles and needs for myself by mistake. I tried to fight my own battles without opening up to those around me who could really see me and help me. So I fell away. I really could not do what I thought was the best. That struggle was even harder than the firs one. I fell, and I left God. (This story is getting long and maybe confusing :)).
God called me again, and I studied the Bible again. I had my questions answered again, and I am happier than ever (again :o) )

SUM:
- Please take my message as a message from God. He is calling you to follow Him.
As first steps my personal recommendations for you:
- Study the Bible
- Get help: find disciples near to you and talk to them. http://www.dtodayinfo.net/DTodayInfo.html#


Good luck! You will enjoy it :)




Ivan

All you need to do is remember that god loves you. He loves you absolutely there isn't anything you or anyone else can do to change that. You really just need to realize that he is like the father in the parable of the prodigious son you may have left him for a little while but he goes out into the road every day hoping that you come back to him. And when you do come back to him you may feel the need to bargain with him for your salvation but you don't need to he is as willing if not more to accept you back he even prepares a "feast" in your honor

Interesting that this thread is now a number of months old and that the original poster has never returned to address any of the responses.

Thanks!

I do know how you feel. Like you have made way too many mistakes and that well it was just too much for God and that this time the line was crossed too many times. You have reached your limit on the Grace of God. But can I tell you that God SAID, my grace is renewed every morning. You feel like you have someohow lost God? Where did you leave Him? Where was the last place that He was your hearts focus? I'd say backtrack, God is still waiting where you left Him. And this is the biggest clue of all that God is there for you, when you were first saved did you believe God really loved you? That He had moved into your heart? Well guess what? God isn't clueless! He knows everything! He even said so in Psalms! He knew U B4 the foundation of the earth! So you were no surprise to God! He knows you weakness and shortcomings! He new what He was getting when He got you! But He still loves U anyway!

Ohmygoodness! I knew there was a reason I got redirected to this page instead of Facebook, lol. I'm going through the SAME thing, and yes it's the worst pain in the world. I've been praying CONSTANTLY always in my Bible and yet it doesn't feel like he's there, I just feel like a hypocrite...