View Full Version : My boyfriend just found out he has genital warts. How do I cope?
iiibeachbum
Jul 28, 2009, 05:19 PM
My boyfriend found out today that he has genital warts. We were sexually active until he started noticing signs of it. I was tested 2 months ago and negative. He has not had sex with anyone else other than me in about a year. Now, I am going to get tested soon but obviously I am not going to have sex with him right now at all. I have taken this news absolutely hard. I been crying for hours and he was crying earlier and I just been having a hard time keeping my head up through this. The doc told him he could have gotten it from touching someone with it. Shaking hands or whatever. My boyfriend gets tested every year and always been negative. I looked up on every website that its VERY unlikely picking it up from toilet seats and such. You can get it from that within like 2 min of the person on the toilet but anything longer than that, and the virus doesn't survive on the surface. So it appears he got it from shaking hands or that slim chance of the toilet because he swears he hasn't slept with anyone and I believe him 100%. I am going to tell you a little bit about us. I met him after I moved away from home. I moved from my hometown to states away and to a place I knew no one. I met him and we have been joined at the hip. He is my best friend. My only friend. I am in love with him. We talked about getting a place together and even babies. My question is basically how do I cope with this? I been crying for hours and I don't want him to feel like he has "cooties" or something but I also DO NOT want it. He means the world to me. How can I be strong through all of this? What do we do sexually now? This changes EVERYTHING and I need advice.
danielnoahsmommy
Jul 28, 2009, 05:44 PM
If I shake his hand I would not get it. It is from direct contact, sorry! You should go to your gyn now and get tested, and ask the doc all of your questions.
N0help4u
Jul 28, 2009, 05:48 PM
I don't buy the toilet seat or shaking hands
BUT genital warts can lie dormant for months or year or more without testing positive or showing signs from my understanding.
So even if he was tested within the past year it may have shown up as negative.
Also you may have been a carrier and passed it to him.
liz28
Jul 28, 2009, 06:05 PM
Go to your own doctor and ask your own questions because I never heard of this disease being transmitted through handshaking. Ugh! This is why I never shake people hands because I don't know where their hands been.
As Nohelp stating this disease takes time to show.
Now I know your going through a rough patch right now but you really need to get all the facts about this disease if your going stay with him. Get facts about it and what treatments are available (there are several). Go directly to the source your doctor or the department of health.
Romefalls19
Jul 28, 2009, 06:08 PM
Go ask your doctor these questions, they know how to handle this situation better than anyone.
BTW, NO you cannot get genital warts by shaking hands
Gemini54
Jul 28, 2009, 06:15 PM
My husband gets genital herpes, so I do understand how you feel.
The first thing that I would say is don't despair. It's not the end of the world!
I know it's a shock to find these things out and I am sincerely sorry that it had to happen to you but remember, it doesn't change everything - it only changes things if you allow it to. In the end, it doesn't matter how he got the warts, the fact is he has them and as a couple you have to deal with them. If you are 100% certain that he hasn't been cheating then just move forward and deal with it.
I had a male friend some years ago now that had them, and he had them burnt off. I imagine that there are more modern treatments than this, but I believe that they can be removed.
For the time being, until you decide what to do, you can use condoms and your sex life and your plans for the future don't have to be affected. You will need to be regularly tested yourself though, because genital warts can have much more serious consequences for a woman.
See it as a test of your relationship and your love for each other not as an end to your hope and dreams. A diagnosis of genital warts doesn't have to change anything between you. It might just make you stronger.
Fr_Chuck
Jul 28, 2009, 06:17 PM
Genital wart - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_warts)
Genital Warts (HPV) Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment by eMedicineHealth.com (http://www.emedicinehealth.com/genital_warts/page2_em.htm)
J_9
Jul 28, 2009, 07:37 PM
I'm sorry but you don't get genital warts by shaking hands. Genital warts is a sexually transmitted disease. Either he had this before he met you, or he is not 100% faithful.
Gemini54
Jul 28, 2009, 07:44 PM
I'm sorry but you don't get genital warts by shaking hands. Genital warts is a sexually transmitted disease. Either he had this before he met you, or he is not 100% faithful.
It is rare, but apparently it can happen... by other than sexual contact...
Genital warts transmission usually works via skin to skin contact. For instance, if you have had vaginal intercourse with someone who is infected you have been exposed to the disease. Transmission can occur through anal, oral, and vaginal sex. In some cases it has also been shown that people can acquire the disease through prolonged contact with items such as a towel that has been used by an infected person or even a bathing suit that is shared or something of this nature. This is less common, but genital warts transmission in this way has occurred.
Genital Warts Transmission (http://www.treatmentforgenitalwarts.info/genital-warts-transmission)
N0help4u
Jul 28, 2009, 07:46 PM
I would say that is probably 1 in a million though. As OP said it would have to happen immediately because the virus can't survive very long outside the human body.
liz28
Jul 28, 2009, 07:47 PM
Are you sure he told you the doctor told him he can get genital warts through hand shaking? He could be lying or maybe the doctor needs to go back to school. Who knows what this doctor is telling his patients if your boyfriend is telling the truth.
danielnoahsmommy
Jul 28, 2009, 07:49 PM
But not by shaking hands. The only way I can see it happening if man A was playing with himself and did not wash his hands and immediately shake man B's hand who again did not wash his hands and immediately played with himself.
HIGHLY DOUBTFULL
N0help4u
Jul 28, 2009, 08:10 PM
Gemini54 agrees: I agree! But 1 in a million is still 1 in a million - it means it CAN happen.
... and everyone in this predicament wants to believe they are that one in a million.