I want to get married one day, but I was wondering where I could get married in what state for me and my fiancée to get marry in. Without him getting in trouble.

My mother is in jail, and my grandma said she would give me concent if needed.


But is there a state I don't need it?

Me 16 & him 21

Marriage for a 16 & 21 to get married
I want to get married one day, but I was wondering where I could get married in what state for me and my fiancée to get marry in. Without him getting in trouble.

My mother is in jail, and my grandma said she would give me concent if needed.


But is there a state I don't need it?

Me 16 & him 21

What state do you live in?

Please don't start double posts
Stick to one.

What state do you live in?


IL,
And sorry.

Why don't you want your grandmother to sign?

Illinois: If you are 16 or 17 years of age, you will have to provide a copy of your birth certificate along with some other sort of identification showing your date of birth. You will also need to have the sworn consent from each parent, each legal guardian or a judge - in person - before the county clerk at the time of application. If your parent is deceased, you will need to show a death certificate or proof of guardianship, or a court order waiving consent. A legal guardian will also need to show a certified copy of the guardianship papers. If you are under 16 years of age, you cannot get married

Marriage Laws in the US by Age (http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm)

Age of sexual consent is 17 but some states say with a 4 yr difference. Meaning 17 can be with up to 21.

The question is whether there is any state in which a 16 YO doesn't need parental consent.

The answer is "no".


Marriage Laws in the US by Age (http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm)


But Florida seems to come close:


Florida: If an individual is under 18 years of age, but older than 16 years of age, a marriage license can be obtained with parental consent. If a minor's parents are both deceased and there is not an appointed guardian, he/she may apply for a marriage license. A minor who has been previously married may also apply for a license. A minor who swears that they have a child or are expecting a baby, can apply for a license if the pregnancy has been verified by a written statement from a licensed physician.

Easy work-around: get pregnant.

Just kidding. Don't, please.

Everyone is absolutely right.

But if you love each other, is there really any rush? Is there a specific reason that you want/need to be married now? Or can you wait until your 18?

I'm not judging no worries :) just asking :)

What is a 21 year old guy doing with a 16 year old girl- that is very, very wrong. Why would you want to get married at such a young age?

Threads merged.

If you can't manage to get a marriage license in your state one of the worst things you could do is go across state lines to get married. Since you are a minor it's illegal for him to take you across state lines and he would risk imprisonment for kidnapping if you tried applying for a marriage license in another state.

I would suggest waiting the year or two it will take for you to turn 18 to get married. If you are truly in love then your relationship will last until then, and be the stronger for allowing both of you AND the relationship to grow and mature.

Incidentally, the age of consent in IL appears to be 17 so your 'fiance' is also 'felon'

http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=Illinois

I would strongly suggest waiting until you are 18 and keep your mouth shut if you don't want your "fiance" to end up in jail. In IL the age of concent is 17 (which you are not yet) so that alone can land him in jail. Also as mentioned if he took you across state lines to get married that is kidnapping. Don't rush the marriage thing too many end up in divorce anyway it is okay to wait until you are legal to marry and see if you still want to marry him.

Even if you were to find a state that allowed you to marry, there are residency requirements so you couldn't just go there and tie the knot.

We are assuming you have already had sex with this guy. If you have, then he has borken the law and committed statutory rape. If your guardians press charges he could wind up in jail.

Yeah I was thinking about the residency after I left.
Looks like the closest thing she can do is wait until 17 and have grandma sign for her to get married.

Not trying to argue or anything, but I see a lot of posts about statitiory rape and the legal age of her state. But has the OP even said they have had sex? I mean its not IMPOSSIBLE for a 16 year old and 21 year old to not have sex and simply date. And tahts not illigal.

Although the chances are slim ;)

not trying to argue or anything, but i see alot of posts about statitiory rape and the legal age of her state. but has the OP even said they have had sex? i mean its not IMPOSSIBLE for a 16 year old and 21 year old to not have sex and simply date. and tahts not illigal.

although the chances are slim ;)

I agree, there is certainly the possibility that they haven't had sex yet. That's why I said we are assuming they have.

What I'm afraid of here is that this guy is a predator, taking advantage of a girl from a bad home situation (mom in jail, grandma not caring if her granddaughter is involved with a 21 yr old) who wants to get out on her own. I do not see a good future for this marriage.

Yeah it is not illegal for them to date.
It is against the law for sex, but then again if somebody wants to press charges like a parent they have to prove it or the girl would have to be pregnant or press charges herself.

OP needs to just wait until she turns 17 and her grandma can sign for her.
She can't leave the state because of her age
She can't get married in another state anyway because of residency laws.

everyone is absolutely right.

but if you love eachother, is there really any rush? is there a specific reason that you want/need to be married now? or can you wait untill your 18?

im not judging no worries :) just asking :)


Well there was before. My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. Words can't explain what she has put me through. She been in and out of the hospital 6 times in just this year of detox! She stop caring for me in the last year. No food , clothes etc. I had to make it on my own. When she saw me doing good she knew she has the parental right to say I have to be with her. Even though she let me live with my boyfriend for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. Cause I am doing school and trying to get a job. & just this weekend she went to jail. On 4 accounts of alcohol & drugs. Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol. I just don't want her to have any right for being a parent. Cause she hasn't for a year. & Well she is going to face prison time. Now. Well maybe good chance. So my boyfriend ask me to marry him & I said yes. I am so happy. But I am thinking I may just get emancipated instead. & Marriage in a couple of years. I was just wondering. I just don't want to be briought down more with my mom. I want to be happy again. (:

I agree, there is certainly the possiblity that they haven't had sex yet. That's why I said we are assuming they have.

What I'm afraid of here is that this guy is a predator, taking advantage of a girl from a bad home situation (mom in jail, grandma not caring if her granddaughter is involved with a 21 yr old) who wants to get out on her own. I do not see a good future for this marriage.



I know scott, I always keep that in the back of my head. I am the loving person. Who loves to be loved. I never got it from my parents. I fell in love with this guy. & I want a great future for us. But there are always the chances it won't happen. So I am thinking emancipation is the way to go.

To get emanicapated you have to meet certain guidelines too.

To get emanicapated you have to meet certain guidelines too.

I know, I have read about it. I am calling a lawyer tomorrow to see what are my changes and how to go about.

I know, i have read about it. I am calling a lawyer tomorrow to see what are my changes and how to go about.

Based on what you have said so far your chances of being emancipated are about nil. Some states don't even allow it. But as far as for your situation you don't even come close to meeting the requirements.

Hope your meeting with the lawyer goes well because based on what you have said here you won't even come close to meeting the guidelines for emancipation.

Based on what you have said so far your chances of being emancipated are about nil. Some states dont even allow it. But as far as for your situation you dont even come close to meeting the requirements.


Actually I do, I have the money, To keep up with rent & food. & Still get to school. My parents are gone. & I am very responsible. But hey if I don't I don't. Its always worth the shot.

There is a lot more to this than you guys know.

not trying to argue or anything, but i see alot of posts about statitiory rape and the legal age of her state. but has the OP even said they have had sex? i mean its not IMPOSSIBLE for a 16 year old and 21 year old to not have sex and simply date. and tahts not illigal.

although the chances are slim ;)

Ha this just made my day. (:

Actually i do, I have the money, To keep up with rent & food. & Still get to school. My parents are gone. & I am very responsible. But hey if i dont i dont. its always worth the shot.

For one thing your lying to yourself and to prove yourself as an adult to a judge your going to need to stop lying to yourself first and foremost. You seem to want to tell tall tales to pump yourself up. That's not being responsible at all. I feel for your situation but you really need a life of your own before you can share it with others.

Somehow your own words don't add up.


( quote ) Well there was before. My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. Words can't explain what she has put me through. She been in and out of the hospital 6 times in just this year of detox! She stop caring for me in the last year. No food , clothes etc. I had to make it on my own. When she saw me doing good she knew she has the parental right to say I have to be with her. Even though she let me live with my boyfriend for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. Cause I am doing school and trying to get a job. & just this weekend she went to jail. On 4 accounts of alcohol & drugs. Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol. I just don't want her to have any right for being a parent. Cause she hasn't for a year. & Well she is going to face prison time. Now. Well maybe good chance. So my boyfriend ask me to marry him & I said yes. I am so happy. But I am thinking I may just get emancipated instead. & Marriage in a couple of years. I was just wondering. I just don't want to be briought down more with my mom. I want to be happy again. (: ( end quote )

You won't get emancipation if you are living with this guy. To be emancipated you have to show you can live totally on your own. You are probably better off waiting until you can marry with grandma's permission.

For one thing your lying to yourself and to prove yourself as an adult to a judge your going to need to stop lying to yourself first and foremost. You seem to want to tell tall tales to pump yourself up. Thats not being responsible at all. I feel for your situation but you really need a life of your own before you can share it with others.

Somehow your own words dont add up.


( quote ) Well there was before. My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. Words can't explain what she has put me through. She been in n out of the hospital 6 times in just this year of detox! She stop caring for me in the last year. No food , clothes etc. I had to make it on my own. When she saw me doing good she knew she has the parental right to say i have to be with her. Even though she let me live with my bf for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. Cause i am doing school and trying to get a job. & just this weekend she went to jail. On 4 accounts of alcohol & drugs. Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol. I just dont want her to have any right for being a parent. cause she hasn't for a year. & Well she is going to face prison time. Now. Well maybe good chance. So my bf ask me to marry him & i said yes. I am so happy. But i am thinking i may just get emancipated instead. & Marriage in a couple of years. I was just wondering. I just dont want to be briought down more with my mom. I want to be happy again. (: ( end quote )


I'm the last to tell tales. Everything is true. I am bad at explaining. But if you knew me as a person and everything & saw it for yourself it you would understand.

For one thing your lying to yourself and to prove yourself as an adult to a judge your going to need to stop lying to yourself first and foremost. You seem to want to tell tall tales to pump yourself up. Thats not being responsible at all. I feel for your situation but you really need a life of your own before you can share it with others.

Somehow your own words dont add up.


( quote ) Well there was before. My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. Words can't explain what she has put me through. She been in n out of the hospital 6 times in just this year of detox! She stop caring for me in the last year. No food , clothes etc. I had to make it on my own. When she saw me doing good she knew she has the parental right to say i have to be with her. Even though she let me live with my bf for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. Cause i am doing school and trying to get a job. & just this weekend she went to jail. On 4 accounts of alcohol & drugs. Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol. I just dont want her to have any right for being a parent. cause she hasn't for a year. & Well she is going to face prison time. Now. Well maybe good chance. So my bf ask me to marry him & i said yes. I am so happy. But i am thinking i may just get emancipated instead. & Marriage in a couple of years. I was just wondering. I just dont want to be briought down more with my mom. I want to be happy again. (: ( end quote )

I might be over looking something but I'm not sure what you mean hon. I don't see anything inconsistent.

The biggest hurdle I see is that in order to get emancipated you have to show good cause. "Cause I want to" is not cause. You are wasting your money.

i might be over looking something but im not sure what you mean hon. i dont see anything inconsistant.

Im going to quote the OP to make the points.

1) Actually I do, I have the money, To keep up with rent & food. Vs Cause I am doing school and trying to get a job.

2) Even though she let me live with my boyfriend for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. Vs ( see note 1 )

3) My parents are gone. Vs My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. And Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol.

4) I am very responsible. Vs I just don't want her to have any right for being a parent.


Its as clear as glass that this would never fly by a judge. Also if Op has been living with her boyfriend for 8 months it stands to caus wonder if she was actually 16 at the time they first started playing house.

Im going to quote the OP to make the points.

1) Actually i do, I have the money, To keep up with rent & food. vs Cause i am doing school and trying to get a job.

2) Even though she let me live with my bf for the last 8 months. & he been taking care of me too. vs ( see note 1 )

3) My parents are gone. vs My mom is an alcoholic lost everything. and Plus she has a court date this weds from a different case that includes alcohol.

4) I am very responsible. vs I just dont want her to have any right for being a parent.


Its as clear as glass that this would never fly by a judge. Also if Op has been living with her boyfriend for 8 months it stands to caus wonder if she was actually 16 at the time they first started playing house.

Sorry hon I think I'm having a dumb moment I still don't see any inconsistancy.

1-why can't she have the money to keep up with rent and food AND go to school and try o find a job. I did that for years
2- they could be splitting the rent and food and other bills.
3-her mom is an aloholic and is in jail... technically she IS gone.
4-i don't know her in person but she may be responsible, I don't know her well enough to know that she is not. And I don't blame her for not wanting her mother to have any rights over her... unless of course she isn't telling the truth about her mothers behavior.


Sorry these are really just my opinions, but I really don't see anything inconsistent here...

I can see what calif is talking about. She can't say that she has the money for everything but at the same time be trying to find a job. That goes back to her boyfriend supporting her which does not bode well for someone trying to prove that they are independent.

First of all, your grandma can't give any consent (unless she's been named your guardian by the court, in light of your mother's incarceration and your father's [presumed] absence.) Now, that said, I know of no state that will allow a 16-year-old to marry ; you'll likely have to wait until you're 18. Even if there is, you'd have to establish residency in that state and that's something you really can't do on your own at age 16.

Sorry hon i think im having a dumb moment i still dont see any inconsistancy.

1-why can't she have the money to keep up with rent and food AND go to school and try o find a job. i did that for years
2- they could be splitting the rent and food and other bills.
3-her mom is an aloholic and is in jail...technically she IS gone.
4-i dont know her in person but she may be responsible, i dont know her well enough to know that she is not. and i dont blame her for not wanting her mother to have any rights over her...unless of course she isnt telling the truth about her mothers behavior.


sorry these are really just my opinions, but i really dont see anything inconsistant here...

In most states if not all if someone wants to emancipate then they have to go through a process of proving that they and they alone can support themselves. You can't live with somebody etc. Your situation is different because you were an adult ? ( Im assuming ) at the time you went through it. You can't claim you want to emancipate then expect the goobermint to foot the bill. Also you can't say I can pay if you have no means of support like a reguler job.

I was pointing out that the Op seems to be talking from both sides. A judge would never accept that in a plea. When you're an adult your entitled to make decisions even if that leads to your destruction. But when you're a child trying to emancipate its very different.

No one is saying that you are telling a lie. What we are saying is that it is much more complicated than just saying I want to get married so I will get emancipated. Nor can you just cross state lines to get married. Like I said before I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow because it is looking grim (unless the outcome you want is to just have to wait). And I must say, as I did before, waiting until you are a little older really isn't that big of a deal. (we have all be 16 too and yes we do know what it is like even though when I was 16 I didn't believe any adult that said the same thing I am saying)

I believed you and I feel for you. That is really sad,
Your second link didn't work. Looked like it had some kind of block on it.
The new one you posted doesn't go to the page either. If you want to post it you might have to copy and paste.

{MOD Note: the posts with links were removed because they contained too much personal info-<>}

All you can do is hang in there and be strong.
You can see about getting emancipated and about if your grandmother is the one legally allowed to emancipate or sign for you to get married. Check all your options, talk everything over with your boyfriend and your grandma.
You probably only have a year and a half or so until you are 18 if you can't get a solution before then. I know it seems like forever when you are a kid but its really not.

No one here is saying your lying to us. What I had said is your lying to yourself based on how I was reading what you had said. As others have pointed out its not a simple thing you want to do. We are all sorry for your loss and can understand your situation but it doesn't change the facts of what you are wanting to accomplish. When you go into a courtroom it can be very cold and matter of fact. Its nothing like TV. SO I hope when you have settled down and had a chance to think this thread over you might reread it and try to absorb what we all have been saying. Like it or not we are trying to help you.

I know I understand. I just and frustrated. & ready to move on from this bull.






Just thanks for all your advice and help. (: It got me thinking a lot. You guys are very helpful

In most states if not all if someone wants to emancipate then they have to go through a process of proving that they and they alone can support themselves. You can't live with somebody etc. Your situation is different because you were an adult ? ( Im assuming ) at the time you went through it. You can't claim you want to emancipate then expect the goobermint to foot the bill. Also you can't say I can pay if you have no means of support like a reguler job.

I was pointing out that the Op seems to be talking from both sides. A judge would never accept that in a plea. When your an adult your entitled to make decisions even if that leads to your destruction. But when your a child trying to emancipate its very different.

I understand now :) and yes I was an adult. Good point :P I didn't realise that emancipation required TOTAL independence. I guess I watch too much day time TNT court shows *blush* with the happy ending and all ;)

Thanks for being patient and explaining :D

i understand now :) and yes i was an adult. good point :P i didnt realise that emancipation required TOTAL independence. i guess i watch too much day time TNT court shows *blush* with the happy ending and all ;)

thanks for being patient and explaining :D

Not a problem.. I was just worried about hyjacking the thread. I didn't want to do that is all. Anytime there is a question never hesitate to ask.