Hi everyone, please give me some insight on this.

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me on my birthday 3 months ago today. She was a very dominate person, she wanted the truth about everything no matter how small the subject. I was married before for 12 years and have a step-son who I always considered my own. I raised him from age 4, he is and always will be the love of my life. While I was married I found out that I can't have children, I've been to every doctor to find out why and the bottom line was "i can't ". So be it. I suffered for a long time with that fact. My wife and I divorced in 2003, nothing to do with that fact, we just grew apart. I never left my son. My ex-wife was kind-of-a-user but I stayed in the marriage for so long for my son.

I met a woman shortly after ( not the one who just broke up with me ) and was put threw a living hell. She was younger than I was but she thought she was so much smarter, always putting me down because I couldn't have children, that I never went to college ,(even though I made more money than she did) and hated my son. I thank God she is gone because I never met a more vicious person. (at least that's what I thought at the time) I feel sorry for whom ever she is with now.

Now to the present.

I met this woman on a job which I'm not at anymore. She was nice to me at first but after a month she was very verbally abusive. I was living on my own but later moved back home with my parents because I had no one to talk to anymore, the apartment I was renting was too big and lonely. My girlfriend was the same age as I so that was a plus from the past, She lived in an apartment building that her brother owned with her entire family. She was married for 4 years but (they) were together for 17 years. She has no children.

I never wanted to move in with her but she would put such a gilt trip on me using my past to get her way. She had this thing for getting me to reveal my past only to use it against me later in an argument. She was a sweet person on minute then she would be the most vicious person. She would grill me over my past like why did you get divorced? I would tell her as best as I could then she'd cross examine me with my own words. Where were you today? Did you visit your son? F*** you ex while you were there? Anytime my son had a problem and he would call me for help she had this "let him figure it out himself or " let his mom help him". She said to me once that her ex could "go" 3x a night. How come you can't? You just don't want to!! You have to train yourself!!

She would make me cry to the point i was losing my mind, one night as she is standing over me yelling about nothing, i put my head in my hands and she said" what are you having a pity party"?? She'd tell me to "f" myself and then wonder why i couldn't get it up for her. i had a few fist fights with men in my life but she was scarey, i used to call he "butch" as a joke but would pay for it later. she was just a hurtful person and i'm ashamed to say i still love her. How do you(her) stop loving someone just like that? if i didn't tell her everything that happened in my day ,and she found out, i was a lier. i didn't disclose to her when we first met that i had a girlfriend while waiting for my divorce decree. She said your a lier so i can't trust what you say. You didn't tell me that when we first met. She could be soo thoughtful one minute than rip me apart the next. Never an " I'm sorry" or anything. She didn't want to travel because she didn't want to leave her dog behind and said " if I didn't have my dog to worry about I'd be making you do a lot more for me". I did so much for her, i bought her everything i could afford. I put up with her abuse but in the end she told me " you need help, you need to talk to someone or the next girl you date your going to have the same problem with your past".. . who the hell kept bring up my past screwball!!

Can someone just tell me what to do, she told me in an e-mail to move on with your life and it's over. But one minute we were together and the next it's over!

The morning of my birthday I told her I was going to work but I took the day off to be alone. She found out and that's how I came to be here.


Please help me understand. How do you fall out of love that fast?

This girl was no good for you and you need to realize that.

You became so used to her abuse that you can't function without it. Maybe counseling is order for you to help you figure out why you you date abusive females and how to break that cycle.

You should be jumping up and down because the wicked witch is gone but instead you want her in your life. Your attractive to these type of females.

Get help fast because this is only damaging your mental health. And know you can do a whole lot better--believe me.

Regarding the question - how do you fall out of love that fast?

If your talking about her - she does not and never has loved you.

As for you - Your probably the luckiest person on here for being out of that relationship - realise that. Actually I don't think you love her your getting it mixed up with being alone.

Block all contact and never contact her again.

For future ref though - don't call a woman butch (even as a joke).

Please help me understand. How do you fall out of love that fast?

They were never that in love with you in the first place. Seems you listened to the words you wanted to hear, but ignored the actions, and attitude.

Sounds like she gave you the BEST birthday present you could ever ask for.

She sounds like she had some severe mental problems. Control freak doesn't even begin to describe her.

Well, there is at least 3 women there and you seem extremely confused. I am not going to answer your question because it doesn't seem it would help you, but I'm going to give you a couple of suggestion. You need a LOT of time alone. Stop jumping from girl to girl.

It seems you have confidence issues with yourself, you need to take care of yourself before thinking of your ex or dating anyone else. You shouldn't let anybody treat you like that.

Yes, learn to live on your own, the last couple of years for me has been great, A few dates but time to learn to be happy with me, then I can be happy with someone, not depending on them to be happy.

It has been 3 months, you need to go o and get over her

I think "falling in love" is like falling down. When you "fall" something caught you off-guard. When you get your bearings, you brush yourself off and get back on your feet. Love is no difference. Some people like to stay on their bottoms for a while. Some people get up really quick. Some people are afraid to get up because they don't want to fall down again.

Thank you all for the advice and words of wisdom.

I think I know the right answers but it hurts too much to admit. I hope time will lessen the impact of pain and hate that I feel. I feel like a fool for putting so much of myself into the open in that relationship but I don't know any other way. I wish I could just forget the good and the bad of the last 3 years. I don't know why I have just good memories of her now and a lot of the bad ones aren't so hurtful. I'm really hurt.

I'm still feeling like crap. I think if I she showed up now I'd put my fist threw her face. What a fool I am for being used like that. Taking all that abuse from a piece of trash who if I visited in 5 years from now she'd still be in the dump that I found her in. FYI, I landed a better job since I last posted, making more money than I ever had. Is this dumb luck or am I starting to get my s*** back together again? Amazing how this kind of hate will make you focus on what you want.

Just venting.

She was never in love to begin with. She doesn't sound like she's capable of loving someone. But of more pressing concern should be you and your issues. I sense a real neediness here as you seem to settle for any woman just for the sake of having someone by your side. Now forgive me if I'm wrong. But when you notice any major red flag, and any form of verbal or emotional abuse should be seen as a major red flag, you click your heels and walk away, pure and simple. I don't care how lonely or horny you are ; you cannot allow yourself to be subjected to that type of behavior for anything.

These situations all are the same woman, just 3 different bodies. You allow the woman to control you, and you buy her whatever you can because in your brain buying something for someone equals love. What it really equals is a lack of confidence in yourself that you have something of value to offer someone. Gifts should be few and far between. You worked hard to earn your money and she should work hard for you to earn a gift. You wouldn't talk to your son like you allow women to talk to you. The next time a woman starts to verbally abuse you, you walk. Simple as that. You're a man not her verbal punching bag. If she's got problems let her deal with them. That's not your concern. Your concern is you, and now that you've been handed this incredible gift of freedom that the time to build up your confidence. Then keep it all for yourself.

It seems like you've been hanging out with a gaggle of she-devils!

Why aren't you throwing a party right now? Seriously, we have pizza on another thread.

The women in your life have used your passive nature to hurt you. Stand up for yourself! Don't let anyone walk all over you! Confidence can take to you to a lot of places, my friend.

*I'M* relieved you were released from the cages of the living hell that woman put you in. You should be too! You don't need someone trampling all over you so they'll accept you. Find a woman that appreciates you and genuinely loves you, but I can assure you, these others did not.

Hopefully this next woman will be a C-C-COMBO BREAKER from the hags!

Thanks to all. I'm starting to see the light. Still feel bad.